Demonslayer X Male Reader Oneshots Sanemi x Reader (Part 3)

He in fact, did not hear me out when we got back to the warehouse.

The moment we climbed through the window and managed to set our stuff down, he retreated to his corner where an old mattress he used as a bed was and began cleaning the infected blood off the blade of his ax, his telltale sign he wasn’t in the mood to talk at all. It hurt to feel shut out again after spending so much time finally getting him to trust me and open up but I couldn’t blame him.

I decided to give him some space for now while I went to my own spot with my sleeping bag to count up what I managed to grab. Separating the food into piles, I figured we had enough food rationed between the two of us to last an extra week or so if we were lucky. It was a small relief but the idea of running low on food still made me queasy.

When it came to the extra supplies I got my hands on, there was far less. Trying out the batteries in my flashlight, only half of them worked so I tossed the empty shells aside and rifled through my bag for the first aid kit to see what I could salvage from that. Luckily, there were a decent amount of bandages and some disinfectant to add to our small number of medical supplies we had. It wasn’t much but every small thing counted towards survival.

By the time I had everything organized, counted and put away, Sanemi was busying himself with cleaning his arms with a bucket of rainwater we had collected last week when a storm had passed through. My eyes caught on every scar and bruise along his skin, a sign and a badge of honor for how long he’s made it in this world against the odds. He never let me ask about where he got each one, even though I wanted to hear his stories and his journey. It was an invisible line he had made clear he didn’t want crossed.

Perhaps he could feel my stare or noticed how quiet I had gotten that made him glance over at me and scowl, a reminder that I was on his bad side now more than ever. It hurt more than I wanted it to, seeing him so upset with me. I never liked feeling small or in trouble, but I sure did right then.

“We’re good on food for another couple weeks,” I whispered, carefully testing the waters on where we were at now. Hopefully this wasn’t what made him cut me off and kick me out, the threat of it always hanging heavy in the air with tension. He didn’t owe me anything of course but it was safer to stick in a pair…I was safer with him.

He barely acknowledged me, rolling a shoulder as he dried his arms off with a long-ago blood-stained towel. I sat still with my eyes raised to take in every movement. There had to be some sort of sign that my safety was assured with him right then. Some sort of twitch or glance that promised a future here with him instead of being thrown out to the infected.

“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me you were going to go find more food. Are you trying to be a burden and get us killed?” he hissed, his bloodshot eyes narrowed in a vicious glare. The words hurt far more than I wanted to admit, knowing he meant them as a way to make me see what could’ve happened but the idea of being a burden to him struck true to me. It did sometimes feel like I was slowing him down rather than helping with his own survival. But this had been my way to pull more weight, and it wasn’t enough.

I couldn’t hold his stare any longer, my eyes dropping to the ground instead. “I know I messed up. I’m sorry,” I spoke quietly in apology with nothing else to do but hope it was enough. It wasn’t though.

“No. I’m done with this shit. You’ve put your life at risk too many times. You do too much stupid shit and I’m not sticking around to watch you suffer the consequences.” He kept his voice low which seemed to only feel worse. I wanted him to yell at me, to scream about how much I messed up instead of having to balance survival and my faults. It wasn’t fair to him, none of this was. In a perfect world, he could raise his voice to express his anger at me and I would’ve considered it a blessing.

I had broken his trust, something that was so flimsy to begin with, it would be impossible to earn back. He would kick me out for good, threaten to kill me if I came back and no amount of pleading or crying or apologizing was going to change that. I had to hold strong no matter what. I couldn’t crumble because I lost this. I survived on my own before and I could do that again if I had to.

“I’m not a monster…” he whispered under his breath, something I remembered him saying a long time ago. It had been to himself, like a promise he had to keep. For something that should’ve bothered me, it gave me hope. The last time he had spoken that, he had stitched me up and relocated my shoulder. He had helped me survive when I gave him no reason to. Maybe this was the moment he would spare me mercy once more.

“I know you’re not,” I mumbled back even if it wasn’t my place to say. “You’ve given me time, resources and care I never earned in the first place. It’s hard to find that in this world anymore and I swear to you, I appreciate it. This was the only thing I could think of to pay you back for all you’ve done for me. I didn’t think it through, and I know how bad it looked but I wouldn’t leave you like that.”

He looked away like he didn’t want to hear it, but I held strong. If anything, this was the one thing I needed him to understand even if it got me sent out on my own. If this was the end between our flimsy pact, I wanted it to be peaceful and honest.

“Sanemi. Don’t think so little of me that I would abandon you. I need you. I’m clingy as hell and I was alone for too long to just move on when you extended whatever kind of bond this was to you. I get that I’m reckless with my life sometimes but I would never be so careless with yours,” I insisted with full seriousness. My eyes stared at the side of his face, begging him to look at me and see how much all of this meant to me.

“Just stop trying to get yourself killed for five fucking minutes and go to sleep already. You’re irritating when you’re sappy,” he huffed without a final glance back at me. I couldn’t help the sharp exhale of relief at his version of telling me to stay, watching him with watery eyes as he curled up onto his mattress.

Gratitude slid down my face in silent tears as I crawled into my sleeping bag and stared at the darkness growing along the ceiling while the sun went down. I had to be careful from now on to try and win Sanemi’s favor again. No more slip ups or pushing my luck. I had made it this far and I wouldn’t let either of us throw this away now. I fell asleep unaware of his eyes watching me in the dark.