The first two days back home had been good, great even. The couple stayed in their bubble on their couch watching all of their favourite movies. Catching up on all the Netflix show we’re they were running on behind, playing PlayStation and lots of cuddles, mostly lots of cuddles.
It’s on day three that it happens. Charles is struggling in the shower while Max is scrolling on his phone just outside the bathroom. He had tried to keep of social media. He really did. But he unintentionally tapped on a notification leading him towards a post. He wants to tap the arrow on screen to turn back, but before he does it’s already to late and his eyes are wondering over the comments below, they aren’t pretty.
Max had been waiting outside the bathroom door every day now. Charles had claimed every time he would be fine. But the noises he made when he undressed and got in to the bathroom proved Max otherwise. He was hurting but the monegasque just didn’t want to show it. Max dropped his phone as he rested his back against the big door of the closet. Tipping his head backwards, sighing deeply before staring ahead in the room. Listening to the noises behind the bathroom door. Making sure his boyfriend was alright. Coming to his aid if it was necessary and for his own sake, to just know he is okay.
Max got so lost in his own head that he didn’t fully register Charles turning off the shower and returning towards their bedroom in nothing but a towel.
“Maxy?” Charles asked him bemused “what are you doing on the floor?” He now asked eying him up suspiciously.
“Nothing” he sighed. “Just making sure you are alright” he said with a weary smile.
Charles turned soft at that. “Cherie, you worry to much! I’m okay” he says with a tender smile on his lips while he manoeuvres himself to sit on the bad carefully to put on his white Ferrari branded socks. Struggling though cause bending was still a bit painful.
Max sighed pushing himself off the wall to help his boyfriend with his stuff. “Are you really though?” He just asked him as he put the socks on his feet. Standing up and getting his boyfriends clothes from the dresser handing them over.
In Max’s eyes it was clear. His boyfriend wasn’t okay, he couldn’t even dress himself. Those three man had changed his lover to a shell of himself.
In the procces of his doings, Charles grabbed his boyfriend’s wrist, pulling him back to him. Motioning for him to come to sit beside him on the bed what Max did just so. Charles squeezed his hand searching for his eyes. “Really Max, I am alright, batterd and bruised yes, but honey this will heal. I’m already doing much better” Max averted his eyes and just shook his head. This made the monegasque sigh too.
“See I think you worry to much Max, ofcourse this sucked, massively… but we can’t keep looking towards the past. We have to look forward” he stated as Max just watched him. “Yeah?”
“Yes ofcourse, this is a one off” he simply replied.
Max stood up now. “Really Charles?! How can you even be sure about that? There are enough people saying they should’ve hit you harder!” Max’s eyes turned watery and Charles was taken aback.
“There are enough people that aren’t okay with this” Max says as he motions between them. “With us, two guys together. For fuck sake even my own fucking dad used to think that Charles! Don’t you understand that I can’t stand to see you get hurt!” He says the quite sobs quickly turning louder. The monegasque stand up quickly holding Max’s head between his palms before just pulling him close. “You’ve been online again?” He ultimately asks and
The Dutchman just shrugges. They stay like that.
—————-
“Thank you for the good care doctor!” Charles smiles as he shakes the doctors hand and like that they head out the door. They make their way in to the parking garage soon after. Taking place in Max’s Audi Q3. He is steering out of the garage soon after.
Charles placed his hand over Max’s on the gearshift Smiling brightly. Max looks back at him a faint smile back before he turns his eyes on the road again. They don’t say much until they get home. Only the sound of the radio humming in the background.
Eventually they get home and Max helps his boyfriend out of his winter coat before he hangs his own in the hallway. Charles already making his way towards the living room.
“You want something to drink?” Max asks already walking towards the kitchen. Getting their mugs already from the cupboard, putting on the kettle before his boyfriend had even answered. He had know just as Charles calls for him. Telling him he would like some tea.
Max places the mugs on their coffee table for settling on the couch next to his boyfriend. Grabbing the remote control in the proces. “You wanna watch true crime again?” Max ask already opening Netflix, his eyes fixated on the flatscreen.
Charles just stares at him.
“So we are not talking about it?” He asks
“Mhhh? About what?” Max mumbles as he stuffs a cookie in his mouth.
“Come on Max” Charles looks at him unimpressed. “You’ve barely said a word since we left the hospital, what is going on?”
“Nothing” he says as his voice wavers.
“Max?” Charles challenges cocking his eyebrow at the dutchman.
“It’s nothing, just leave it Charles”
This only makes the monegasque more annoyed.
“No I won’t leave it Max! You pull away constantly! It seems like you’re not even happy that the doctor said everything is okay and I’m cleared for everything!” He says his face red from the heat.
“NO Charles Stop!” Max says desperately. “You can’t say that! Ofcourse I’m happy that the doctor says you’re okay! You fine well know that I want nothing more than that!” his fists are balled beside him, his nails digging in to his own flesh. His eyes already threatening to spill over again.
“Then why the fuck are you not happy Max!?” Charles snaps.
Max sniffs, trying his best to keep his composure. But Charles knows how to push him and right now he certainly does. He wipes his hands over his eyes and then stares right back at him.
“Because that would have been an easy excuse to not go to the price giving” its clear and its blunt just like he knows Max. It clicks in Charles’s mind. He takes a step back, taking in a deep breath.
“You don’t wanna be seen with me?” He accuses. He knows it not entirely the truth. But it stings, just like it did with his mom.
“No what? Ofcourse not Charlie! You know I love you!” Max sounds desperate.
“Just not anymore in front of others?” He huffs folding his arms.
“Charlie this is not fair!” Max says as his lower lip trembles.
“But you are not denying it?” Charles says trying to put up a brave face.
“Of course I want to be seen with you Charles! I’m just saying… maybe… we-we should just tone it down a little?… to keep you safe?”
Charles just stares at him and says nothing for a while until he grabs his discarded phone from somewhere between the pillows on the couch, text before looking back up again towards his boyfriend. “I’m not going back in to the closet Max!”
“I’m not saying you hav-” but Max is already cut of as Charles stumbles away from him. “Where are you going?” Max ask his voice laced with worry.
“Bed Max, I’m tired and done with this conversation” he says sternly before turning around again.
“Okay, let me just-” Max makes his way towards him with a soft voice, already coming to his aid again despite there prior conversation.
But at this moment it’s to much. Charles can’t get stuck in a glass box.
“Please Max?, alone!” he pleads and the dutchman stops in his tracks as Charles just stumbles on.
——————-
The next days carry on as they would do normally. They watch Netflix, Charles does his recovery exercises while Max takes care of everything around the house. They function as normal as long as they don’t mention the big elephant in the room. The couple that is known for their grown up talks and conversations among their friends and family had found themselves on a cross road. It’s a time bomb ticking and they both know it. they tiptow around each other, trying not to step on the inevitable landmines. waiting for it to explode. and alas, that day will come.
It’s Tuesday morning, December 8th, they are bound to fly out to Bologna this afternoon. When the bomb blows and they can no longer stop pretending. They are just packing their suits when they end up in another disagreement.
“I’m not saying we can’t go together Charles? I’m just saying if we keep our professional distance that we-” he doesn’t get to finish.
“And than what Max? Show those people exactly what they wanted?! That they got to us?! That they hold the power?!” Charles says.
“No it’s just- we-” he tries but stumbles.
“You know what Max? It’s fine… we go with our teams, you go with Redbull and I go with Ferrari. I’m done having this conversation” he sighes zipping up his suitcase. “Can we at least still share our hotel room or will that be a problem too?” He snaps again.
“Charlie please? Of course we can!” Max pleads but right now they both don’t even know why or what they are fighting for.
Comment