On Thin Ice 34

“What the hell,” I muttered, getting up from bed to open the window.

It had started snowing out and it was coming down quite hard.

Fox was on the other side of the window, his cheeks rosy from the cold, snowflakes littering his hair and the front of his glasses, and his face etched in a frown. I opened the window and he immediately came inside, pushing me aside to get in the room.

“It’s cold as shit outside,” he cursed, rubbing his hands together for warmth as I shut the window.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, moving past him to sit on the bed.

“I obviously am here to see you,” he said, blowing warm air onto his hands, then taking his glasses off to clean off the lenses with his shirt.

I just rolled my eyes. “If you wanted to see me, you could have used the front door.

“So you could slam it in my face?”

“I could have slammed the window in your face.”

“You wouldn’t though,” he pointed out, pointing at me with his glasses. “Because it’s cold as shit, it’s snowing, and I could have fallen off your house.”

“So the smart solution to you was instead of going to the front door, risking your life to climb up to my window in the snow?”

“Well, you can’t say I never risked my life for you.”

I just scoffed, throwing myself backward on the bed. Fox came to sit beside me after he situated his glasses back on his face. I stared up at the ceiling while he stared down at me. It took all of my will power to keep my eyes off of him. He knew how his glasses made me feel.

“Will you talk to me?” he asked, his voice sounding desperate.

“If you’re here to apologize, you can save your breath,” I told him, keeping my eyes trained on the ceiling.

He looked down at me with a puzzled expression. “I know I owe you more than an apology but—”

“You don’t owe me an apology,” I cut him off with a sigh. “You were right and I just got mad.”

Fox shook his head and let out a groan. “You’re being, like, so stupid right now.”

I glared at him. “You can go.”

“Elijah,” Fox said in a pleading tone. “I’m sorry for what I said. It doesn’t really change how I feel, but I shouldn’t be projecting my insecurities onto you. You had every right to reject me.”

“Do we have to do this right now?”

“Yes!”

I sighed again and sat up to look at him. His damn glasses looked so good his concerned face. He was too good looking for his own good.

“You deserve to be with someone that can be what you need,” I told him. “Someone that can make you happy while you do what you need to do.”

“You’re making no sense right now,” he said in an annoyed tone, shaking his head. “I don’t want someone. I want you.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but Fox cut me off.

“And I know I can’t have you right now,” he said. “But I’m not looking for anyone else. I want to be really clear about that.”

His words caused my heart to flutter and my stomach to be unsettled. I kept wanting to convince myself that he deserved better, but when he said things like that to me, I wanted to keep him for myself.

“What if I were to look for someone else?” I let the words slip out before I could stop them.

Fox stopped for a moment and looked away before looking back at me, his lips tightly pressed together.

“You deserve to be happy too,” he said in a low tone. “If you want someone else… I’ll just have to deal with it.” It sounded like it pained him to say those words.

“I don’t want anyone else,” I mumbled. Fox nodded, though he looked relieved.

“I don’t know why you think I don’t owe you an apology,” Fox said, raising his eyebrows at me. “I didn’t need to say those things the way I said them.”

“That doesn’t make them less true,” I muttered.

Fox sighed. “You know, I came here that night. I looked for you.”

“You did?”

“And Josh said you and him got into it too,” Fox continued.

I let out a small breath. “He was right about what he said too. I’m not angry at either of you.”

“I don’t know what he said,” Fox started. “But I know he feels bad about it, so something tells me what he said isn’t true either.”

“You don’t know—”

“I know that you wouldn’t have run away if it didn’t upset you,” Fox interjected. “And if he said something to upset you it was because he was angry and saying things he didn’t mean.”

I just shook my head. There was no use explaining the way I felt to him.

Fox startled me when he placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked down at his hand and then up into his eyes. His gorgeous eyes.

“I just want you to be okay,” he said in a whisper.

I couldn’t stop myself from leaning in and placing my lips on his. The kiss was soft and slow. His hand moved from my shoulder to the back of my head, pulling me closer to him. The kiss began to get more heated and that was what pulled me back to my senses.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” I said in a breathless tone, pulling away from him.

“I’m glad you did.”

He gave me a soft smile that made me melt. I wanted him to be mine more than anything, to be able to be this close to him forever.

Fox placed his hand on my cheek and ran his thumb along the corner of my mouth, looking at me with a soft smile.

“If you need me to distract you… I’d be okay with that,” he told me, looking at my lips.

“No,” I immediately answered, grabbing his hand to pull it away from my face. “That’s not fair to you.”

I couldn’t commit to him, but using him as a distraction to make me feel better about myself wasn’t an option. It was fun to be friends with some benefits before I knew what he wanted from me, but now I knew that arrangement would only hurt the both of us.

“I’m telling you I’m okay with it,” he said, looking into my eyes.

“I don’t know if I’m okay with it,” I admitted.

He gave me an understanding look, squeezing my hand that still held his.

“We can just cuddle if you want,” he offered with a grin.

I couldn’t help but let a small smile creep up onto my face as I nodded, pulling the blankets back so we could both get under them. Fox wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his chest, circling my fingers on his chest as one of his hands found its way into my hair.

That was the best night of sleep I had gotten in a long time, wrapped up in Fox’s arms.

***

“What are you doing?” I mumbled, rolling over on the bed to see Fox was standing by the window.

“I was gonna go,” he told me, causing me to sit up and give him a deadpanned look.

The clock on my nightstand said it was only eight in the morning, and I was in no way ready to be awake yet.

“You don’t have to go,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound too desperate. I didn’t really want him to go.

“I didn’t know if you would have wanted me to stay,” Fox said, making his way back over to the bed.

I rolled my eyes, motioning for him to come back under the covers. Fox complied, instantly wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer, my back to his chest.

“I still feel like I need to make this up to you,” Fox mumbled into the back of my neck. “I just don’t know how.”

I sighed. “You don’t need to do any grand gestures, Fox. Being here is enough.”

He huffed but didn’t say anything. I knew he still felt weird about it, but I didn’t want anything from him.

“I just don’t want you to hate me,” I admitted to him. “That’s all I want.”

“That’s what I want too,” he replied. “For you to not hate me.”

“Well, good. Because I don’t.”

“And I could never hate you.”

His voice sounded stern, yet filled with vulnerability. He was showing himself to me in a way that he tried to hide for months.

The way he opened up to me got me thinking about what I had spoken to Wren about last night. The fact that his brother that he swore he hated knew his deepest secret.

It was a dilemma for me, not knowing whether to tell Fox of what his brother knew, or keep it to myself. Telling Fox was exactly what Wren wanted me to do and something told me that I should keep myself from falling into his trap.

“Has your mom talked to you?” Fox asked as I was contemplating in my mind.

“No, why?” I asked.

“Her and Dave were here when you went missing,” Fox told me. “They wanted you to go back with them.”

I groaned, trying to curl myself closer to him.

“You won’t go back with them, right?” Fox asked, his voice soft like he was worried about what I might say.

I shifted around on the bed, turning to face him with his arms still around me.

“I would never go back there,” I told him seriously, our eyes staring intently at each other. Fox had taken his glasses off before he got back into bed with me and I could tell how his eyes squinted slightly without them.

“Good,” he said in a slightly breathless tone. “You don’t deserve to be stuck with them.”

Not knowing what to say, I reached out and placed my hand on the side of his head and traced my thumb over the scar on his eyebrow.

Before either of us could say anything, there was a knock on my door. Fox and I instantly pulled apart, tearing the blanket away from our bodies and sitting up.

“Elijah?” Dad called through the door.

“Yeah?” I answered, my voice cracking slightly.

Dad opened the door a jar and stuck his head in.

“I heard voices, I–” he stopped himself when his eyes landed on the boy next to me. “Oh, hi Fox.”

“Hi Dan,” Fox replied in a calm tone.

“When did you get here?”

“Last night. Sorry for coming without you knowing.”

Dad just waved him off with an easy smile. “You’re always welcome here, Fox.”

“I’m not sure you wanna say that, Dad,” I interjected. “He might never leave.”

Dad laughed as Fox sent a scowl my way.

“Well you haven’t kicked me out yet so I guess that means you want me here,” Fox remarked, raising his eyebrows.

Dad laughed again. “Do you boys want to come down and help with breakfast?”

Somehow the two of us ended up down in the kitchen with Dad, Mindy, and Josh. Fox had placed his glasses back on his face, pushing them up on his nose as we descended the stairs. Josh didn’t hide his confusion when we entered the kitchen.

“When did you get here?” Josh asked, a pointed look sent Fox’s way.

“When did you get here?” Fox shot back, earning an eye roll from Josh.

“I live here.”

Fox just shrugged and maneuvered through the kitchen to greet Mindy before sitting down beside Josh. My brother stared at him with a scrutinizing gaze as if trying to figure him out, but Fox paid him no mind.

Mindy interrupted Josh’s stare when she walked over to the table and motioned for me to sit down.

“You boys can cut up the potatoes,” she told us before turning back to the stove for whatever she was making.

And that’s what we did. After washing our hands, the three of us sat at the table dicing up potatoes and placing them into a bowl in the middle.

Dad had started playing some music while he and Mindy tended to the stove, singing loudly and dancing around. I looked up at Fox to see him bobbing his head to the music as he concentrated on cutting the potato.

I let out a small chuckle, grinning at him. The sound caused his ears to perk up before he took his attention to me.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re funny,” I said, my grin widening.

“How am I funny? I was just vibing,” Fox replied, his lips quirking upward in a smile.

It was then that Dad started singing obnoxiously loud at Mindy.

“You wreck me baby! Yeah, you break me in two!”

To which Mindy sang back.

“But you move me honey, yes you do.”

“At least I’m not like that guy,” Fox said, pointing his thumb toward Dad.

I couldn’t keep myself from laughing as I looked over toward Dad and Mindy to see that he was spinning her around the kitchen, seemingly forgetting about the food on the stove.

I glanced back at Fox to see that he was looking at me with a hint of a smile on his face, humming to the tune of the song.

“So are you two good now?” Josh asked, confusion in his tone. Fox and I both turned our attention toward him as he sat there with his eyebrows raised in question.

Fox turned back to me as if he was looking for the answer as well.

I nodded. “We are.”

Fox just smiled.

Suddenly, the front door opened and Ava came stomping into the kitchen with Fawn following closely behind her.

“You’re home early,” Mindy commented. “Hi Fawn.”

Fawn greeted my parents before turning to her brother. “What are you doing here?”

“Who brought you here?” Fox asked, ignoring his sister’s question.

Fawn rolled her eyes. “Wren.”

“We came here to use my Switch,” Ava told Mindy.

“That’s fine. Want some breakfast?” Mindy asked.

“We ate!” Ava replied, walking over next to me at the table.

“That’s why you’re here,” Josh said, nudging Fox in the shoulder. “You just don’t want to be home with Wren.”

Fox rolled his eyes and shoved Josh away from him.

“Shut up,” Fox snapped.

“I’m right though aren’t I?” Josh joked.

Fox scowled at Josh before sending a softer look at me.

“Something like that,” he said.

“You didn’t stay with your boyfriend last night?” Ava whispered to me, causing Fox’s eyes to bulge out of his head.

“Boyfriend?” Fox asked in a hushed tone.

“I told you he’s not, Ava,” I said to her with a stern expression.

“Who is she talking about?” Fox asked me, dragging my eyes from my sister to him.

Ava grabbed onto Fawn’s wrist and dragged her out of the kitchen to go up to her room.

“Who is Ava talking about?” Fox repeated more urgently.

I rolled my eyes at him while he raised his eyebrows waiting for me to answer.

“Tell me,” he urged. I gave him a look to which he rolled his eyes and relented, “Please.”

“I was out with GSA last night,” I explained. “Her and Fawn saw me with Austin.”

Fox’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything else.

Josh stared at the two of us with a skeptical expression as Fox and I shared a look of understanding. It was by that look from Josh that I thought maybe he had caught on to us.

**

Thanks for reading!

Was anyone surprised Fox was at the window? What did you think about the conversation he had with Elijah? Do you think Elijah should tell Fox Wren knows about them? Do you think Josh knows?

Let me know!

Also, I hope everyone is continuing to stay healthy. I’m having to work during all this so it’s been stressful and customers are pretty much the worst.

Stay healthy!