On Thin Ice 41

Coach Silva paced in front of the team as we sat down on the benches in the locker room while Coach Merton stood at the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. Looking around at the rest of the team, we were a rough looking bunch. Everyone had bruised faces and knuckles, some even bleeding.

Our coach had been too silent since he entered the locker room. His silence was more terrifying than if he came in screaming. We didn’t know what to expect from him and it was agonizing waiting for him to speak.

He finally stopped after a while, standing in front of us with a stern expression and his lips tightly pressed together.

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” Coach Silva started. “I never expected that from this group of players, truly.”

The room stayed silent.

“Needless to say, we are going to be disqualified from the tournament,” he continued. “And probably going to have to face some consequences from our league. I’ll have to sit in meetings with the league board and try to negotiate with them not to end our entire season.”

Fox glared down at his skates, the bruising painted on his face like permanent marks. All I wanted was to reach to him and take the marks and pain away.

“I thought it was obvious that fighting was not tolerated,” Coach Silva said. “But apparently that message never got across.”

Coach Silva looked over to Coach Merton, the two of them seeming to have a silent conversation, before turning back to the team.

“Everyone needs to go back to their hotel rooms and stay there. We will let you know what’s going on and when we’re leaving in a little bit,” Coach Silva finished, dismissing us. 

We started getting out of our gear, frustration clear from Fox as he tore his pads off and threw them on the floor. I bit the inside of my cheek as I watched him undress, not knowing if anything I could say would ease his emotions.

Fox noticed me staring, dragging his eyes to my face and his expression hardening as he zeroed in on where my skin throbbed.

“Are you okay?” he asked me, tightly pressing his lips together.

“I’m fine,” I assured him. “Are you?”

Fox scoffed and nodded as he threw a new shirt on over his head and grabbed his things.

“That kid’s got a weak punch,” he said, though by the look of him, the punches didn’t look weak. 

Bruises created patterns on his face while blood dried under his nose and on his knuckles. There was a particularly dark mark under his eye that made me wince as I looked at it. A weak punch wouldn’t do this much damage.

“What did you say to him to make him freak out like that?” I asked, grabbing my bag and walking with Fox toward the exit of the locker room.

Coach Silva had made us wait a little longer in the locker room until the other team had all made it back to their hotel rooms so that there would be no more altercations between us. Once he gave us the go-ahead, we left ahead of the rest of our team to walk across the street to the hotel.

“Literally nothing. He’s insane,” Fox grumbled, stomping along our path.

I gave him a knowing look, silently telling him I knew that wasn’t true.

He sighed, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. 

“Fine,” he said with an exaggerated breath out. “He was calling me all sorts of stupid names and then he started talking about you and I was like ‘This is a bit much. Are you sure you’re not in love with him?’ and he freaked out.”

“What the hell?”

“Yeah,” Fox replied in an irritated tone. “So FYI, Landon might actually be in love with you.”

Fox’s eyes were narrowed as he looked straight ahead while the two of us crossed the street. Obviously, the thought of Landon being in love with me didn’t sit well with him, not that I was thrilled by the idea either.

“I bet that’s not true,” I said, not entirely sure if I wanted to convince him or myself.

Fox dramatically rolled his neck to send me a sullen look that told me he thought I was being naive. Maybe I was, but I didn’t want to think of that even being a possibility after Landon had started a fight with Fox. I couldn’t even look at Fox’s face without getting angry, the marks being reminders that Landon had hurt him because of me.

I looked down at my feet, a sick feeling in my stomach forcing guilt to cloud my thoughts. This was my fault. Fox had come out because he wanted to be with me and I wouldn’t stay secret for him. That made him a target, all because I was too selfish to give him what he needed.

“Don’t do that,” Fox muttered as we stepped into the hotel and into the elevator.

“Do what?” I mumbled, raising my gaze to his as he stared at me with a serious expression.

“I can tell you’re feeling guilty,” he said. “So stop it.”

I shook my head at him, looking back at my feet. “It’s my fault, I—”

“Believe it or not, Elijah, but you can’t carry the burden of every bad thing that happens,” Fox cut me off, causing my gaze to go back to his. “You blame yourself for everything, even how other people treat you.”

“If I never made you feel like you had to come out, this wouldn’t have happened,” I argued. The elevator doors opened, but neither of us moved.

“First of all, yes it would have,” Fox shot back, slamming the button to close the doors. “Landon is an asshole and if he didn’t know about me then he would have done it to you.”

He continued just as I opened my mouth to speak.

“And second of all, you didn’t make me feel like I had to come out,” Fox said, his voice getting louder as he brought his face closer to mine. “You made me want to. There’s a huge difference.”

The elevator stopped at a floor, but Fox was quick to close the doors again and send us back to our floor before anyone else could get on.

“It sounds the same to me,” I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest as Fox sent me an annoyed look through narrowed eyes.

“It’s not the same,” he said, stepping closer to me and letting out a sigh. “It was a sudden decision, literally I decided to do it right then and there. It wasn’t planned, it just felt right.”

I glanced at him and saw that his expression had softened. His face was unreadable like it was the night on the lake, calm but impossible to read.

“I just looked at you while you were skating around on the lake, the sunset hit you so perfectly, you looked like you were glowing and your smile was wider than I had ever seen it,” Fox continued in a smooth, low tone, tugging on my hand and uncrossing my arms. “You looked so happy and I was like ‘Wow. I want to see him that happy all the time.'”

My breath hitched in my throat as I looked down at our connected hands.

“I wanted to kiss you so bad,” Fox admitted with a chuckle, looking down at our hands with a faint smile. “And I was sick of only being able to do it in secret. I was sick of being afraid.”

The elevator doors opened again and this time we walked out hand in hand.

“I’m glad you did,” I said in a small voice. “Kiss me, I mean.”

Fox looked at me with a close-lipped smile. “Me too.”

Even though I couldn’t help but blame myself for anything Fox would have to endure due to coming out, I couldn’t stop myself from being happy he did. Things were going to be hard but at least we could go through it together. We didn’t have to worry about the team or anything they had to say and Fox’s worries that they wouldn’t respect him anymore were proven to be false. There were other things to worry about, but none of it seemed to matter at that moment. We had each other and that mattered greatly.

I felt safe with Fox’s hand in mine as we continued down the hall toward our hotel room. When we turned the corner, neither of us were prepared for who was standing outside our door.

Fox let go of my hand and stomped over to the door when he laid eyes on Wren. Wren seemed unbothered as he leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest and a wry smile on his face.

“Back off. I’m not in the mood to deal with you right now,” Fox spat, pulling the room key out of his wallet to open the door.

Wren glanced over at me as I made my way to the door, not being put off by his brother’s brash attitude.

“I just wanted to check up on you,” Wren said in a bored tone. 

Fox ignored his brother, opening the door and going inside the room. Wren was quick to catch the door and follow him, holding the door open for me. When Fox saw that Wren had followed him inside, his expression soured as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Wren stood in front of him and I stood off to the side, frightened to witness whatever would happen between the feuding brothers.

“I know you’re not here because you’re worried about me,” Fox pointed out, raising his eyebrows. “So what do you actually want?”

Wren shook his head at him, placing his hands on my hips. “I can actually be worried about my brother after seeing him get tackled during a hockey game, you know that right?”

“It seems unlikely.”

I didn’t know whether I should leave. Fox definitely wouldn’t want me to, but I didn’t want to be intruding on a private moment between the two of them.

“Why is it so hard for you to believe that I actually care about you?” Wren asked, his voice raising.

“Because you never have before,” Fox replied with an eye roll.

Wren scoffed. “Yes, I have.”

“Seriously, fuck off,” Fox spat, his eyes turning to slits. “I’m still very pissed off about the game and I’m warning you right now not to mess with me.”

“Typical Fox, resorting to anger for his default emotion,” Wren said in a dark tone. I could see Fox’s eyes darken.

“Yeah and you’re so perfect right?” Fox snapped. “You don’t get angry, you just get manipulative. You shouldn’t have even come here!”

The room felt too small for these two clashing personalities. 

“Why shouldn’t I have come here?”

“Because you’re just acting like everything is fine between us!” Fox exclaimed, standing up from the bed. “But you’ve never even apologized for trying to manipulate Elijah into telling me you knew about us and freaking him out. Yes, I know you tried to get him to do it and you owe him an apology!”

Wren let out a sigh. “Okay, to be fair Fox, I did let you punch me for that.”

Fox scoffed. “You’ve punched me for less.”

Wren shrugged and hummed in agreement which only seemed to make Fox angrier.

“I don’t even understand why you did that!” Fox continued, throwing his hands up in the air. “It literally makes no sense. You wanted me to know but didn’t want to be the one to tell me? And then ended up telling me anyway?”

“Maybe I just wanted to avoid getting punched,” Wren retorted.

“No because I’m pretty damn certain that you didn’t just want me to know for the sake of me knowing,” Fox said in an almost hissing tone. “You have a motive, you always do.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, you don’t remember when I first got my license and you, being the nice brother you are, let me use the car just so I could pick your drunk ass up every weekend?” Fox seethed. “But any other time I wanted to use it, I couldn’t? Or when you manipulated me into taking the blame when you drunkenly crashed into the fence?”

“Mom and Dad expected you to crash into shit because you just got your license, it wasn’t like you got in trouble!” Wren shot back in an irritated tone.

“Right, but you didn’t deserve any consequences for actually doing it?” Fox said, raising his eyebrows at his brother. “And now you take every chance you get to lecture me when you’re the one always doing messed up shit.”

The two of them didn’t look like they were ready to stop the arguing any time soon. I was hoping for Josh and Ian to show up to the room, but as each moment went by, the door remained closed.

Wren let out a heavy breath, his hand rubbing his forehead.

“I just wanted to check up on you, not argue. What do you want from me, Fox?”

Fox’s jaw clenched. “I want you to tell me why you tried manipulating Elijah, I want you to apologize to him, and then I want you to leave.”

Wren was silent for a few moments as he and his brother shared hard stares. The tension was thick as we waited for Wren’s response. I couldn’t help but wonder why he wanted me to tell Fox he knew about his sexuality. It was a strange situation and at this moment, Wren knowing didn’t seem to matter much. So why was it such a big deal before?

“I wanted you to know because I wanted you to come out,” Wren admitted with a sigh. “I thought if you knew that I knew, it would freak you out and if Elijah was the one to tell you, it would make you think I would tell people, so you would do it before I could.”

“Why the fuck were you so obsessed with me coming out?” Fox yelled, his mouth parted. “Why did it fucking matter so much?”

“Because I’m bisexual,” Wren confessed and the words hung in the air. 

I could tell by the blank look on Fox’s face that he didn’t know what to say. He was trying not to explode.

“And I’m such a terrible brother because I thought that if you came out first, it would take the heat off of me when I did,” Wren continued in an emotionless voice.

That was enough to cause the explosion.

“What the hell is the matter with you!” Fox exclaimed as he began pacing around the room.

I wanted to reach out and hold his hand to calm him down, but I knew it wouldn’t work.

“Are you that fucking self-centered that you don’t even realize how different our situations are?” Fox continued, shaking his head as he paced the floor.

Wren silently stared at his brother as Fox came to a stop in front of him.

“I’m trying to get college hockey teams to recruit me, you already go to a liberal ass Ivy League school that would love to use you as a token of their diversity!” Fox boomed. “I have things to lose, you don’t!”

Wren just stood there, letting his brother scream in his face. It felt like Wren was using this as a way to punish himself. He felt guilty, but he didn’t want to admit it, so he would settle for allowing Fox to take out his frustrations on him. I would almost feel bad for him if he didn’t just admit to using Fox’s coming out for his own gain.

Before Fox could continue ripping into his brother, there was a loud knock on the door, causing all of us to look over at it. An uncomfortable feeling crept across my body. If it were Josh and Ian, they wouldn’t be knocking. If it were the coaches or anyone from the team, they would’ve announced themselves after we didn’t immediately open the door. 

I shared my nervous expression with Fox and he made his way to the door, checking the peephole and letting out a curse.

“It’s Dave and your mom,” Fox muttered just as they knocked on the door again.

“Should we call Coach Silva?” I asked in a slightly panicked tone.

“He’s probably still in his meeting with the tournament people,” Fox replied, another knock causing his face to darken even more.

Wren walked over to the door and lightly moved Fox out of the way. He opened the door and slipped out, shutting it before anyone could get in.

“What the hell is he doing?” I hissed as Fox looked through the peephole.

“He’s talking to them,” Fox replied, placing his ear against the door to try to hear what they were saying.

“Can you hear anything?” I asked him. Fox shook his head and looked through the peephole again.

“They’re gone,” Fox said, his voice sounding slightly confused.

“Wren too?”

Fox nodded and backed away from the door.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

“You’ve been asking me that a lot lately,” Fox pointed out with a grin.

“That’s because a lot has been happening lately,” I replied. 

“Wren’s an asshole, I already knew that and I’ll get over it,” Fox said, leaning back against the door.

A moment later another knock sounded on the door. Fox groaned and turned to look through the peephole before opening the door to reveal Wren.

“You’re welcome,” was all Wren said before turning on his heel and walking away.

Fox glared at him as he walked away just as Josh and Ian made their way to us.

“What’s going on?” Josh asked as he entered the room and Fox slammed the door behind them.

“Long story,” I replied.

“Your mother is going to kill you going home looking like that,” Fox told Ian as he took in his bruised appearance. 

Ian looked just as bad as Fox, but that was what he got for going after a guy twice his size.

Ian shrugged. “She’ll probably whack me a few times, tell me how stupid I am, and then ask me for money, so nothing new.”

I shook my head at him and plopped myself down on the bed. I couldn’t wait to be back home. There was too much drama for me in too few days.

“At least one good thing came out of this trip,” Josh said, sitting at the edge of his bed. He was a little bruised like I was, nothing like Fox and Ian.

Ian scoffed. “Like what?”

“Fox and Elijah get to be together,” Josh said, a faint smile on his face.

Fox and I shared a look as he got down on the bed beside me.

“Yeah,” Fox started with a content sigh. “At least we have that.”

**

Hi everyone! Thanks for reading!

I wrote all of this TODAY instead of writing a little bit each day so that’s why it’s coming so late. I’ve had a busy week and a rough couple of days so I wasn’t even sure I was going to be able to get this done, but I did it!

Anyway, let me know what you think of the chapter! What sort of consequences do you think the team will face? What did you think about the elevator scene with Fox and Elijah? Do you think Elijah is being too harsh on himself? What about the scene with Wren. Was anyone surprised about his confession? 

Let me know!