Lucas’s hand returned to his sides.
“I’m good, thanks.” Aiden stepped out from between them, relieved to have cold air against his skin.
Connor snorted. “Going to sort him out?”
The guy flicked his eyes to Lucas, his gaze growing more alert by the second. He looked a little disappointed when Aiden didn’t change his mind, but he looked hopefully at Connor. “It’ll be fun.”
“It better be.” Connor pat Aiden on his shoulder as he went by, and then disappeared into the crowd with the guy.
Aiden went over to Lucas. “Is it fine to let him go alone?”
“It’s his choice.” Lucas said, “One of his favourite word’s is ‘no’ so he’s very aware of how to use it. Plus, he has our numbers.”
“Okay. I won’t worry then. I need a drink, I’m way too hot.”
“I can imagine.” Lucas’s eyes darted over his messed-up collar, and dishevelled trousers. “You sure about not going with them?”
“With someone whose name I don’t know? I’m sure.” Aiden did the same thing, glancing at the issue in Lucas’s trousers. “You sure you don’t want to run after them?”
Lucas made a grunting sound, and gripped Aiden’s hand, drawing them further from the main crowd and towards the outliers. “It’s not my fault.” He said it as a complaint, as if getting turned on was something he was genuinely annoyed about.
“Wish you were the one wedged between them?” Aiden smirked.
“Wish I was the one wedging it somewhere.”
“Lucas!” Aiden laughed.
“Sorry.” Lucas sighed, “That was so hot.”
“Just friends, remember?” Aiden chuckled. He glanced at the direction they were heading and tugged Lucas towards the gym building on their left. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“Uh huh.”
“Hey.” Aiden tapped his stomach with the back of his hand. His cheeks were already red, so getting embarrassed wouldn’t make a difference. Even away from the crowd the air was humid and hot, and Aiden was lightheaded.
There was only a fifteen-minute wait into the bathroom. Aiden went straight to the sink and splashed cold water onto the back of his neck. He used the mirror to help straighten his clothes. His eyes were glossy. His skin peaky. He looked drunk.
“I probably shouldn’t have drunk those last two that fast.” He went back to Lucas. “Where to next?”
“Hugh and Roma are at – uh” Lucas bit his bottom lip, “Actually, there was a band I was hoping to listen to. They should be up soon.”
“We can find them later.” Aiden shrugged, and Lucas smiled. It was a shy smile, and all of the ‘just friends’ nonsense went out of his head.
They weaved their way back into the crowd, and with a stroke of luck actually ended up close to the stage. The music was loud enough that even shouting in Lucas’s ear might not be heard.
There was a moment of stillness, and Aiden tugged Lucas to him before it could become awkward. It was definitely the alcohol in his system, because he hadn’t been able to dance with Lucas earlier. He was too concerned with looking like an idiot. Now, he wanted to dance with him more than he was scared to put him off.
There was a weird bubble in his chest that made Aiden feel light. Even when he grew breathless, even as the bands changed, even as his legs started to ache and his throat desperately needed something to sate it – that bubble stayed where it was. Lucas was fun to dance with. He did the spins. He joined in with whatever Aiden tried, and the grin never left his lips.
It was an infectious grin, and Aiden’s cheeks hurt.
The music stopped, and a woman told them that this was the last song for the evening. A few people heckled. A few people pointed out that it was well past the evening.
Aiden looked at the stage as a slow tune started to play.
Lucas easily stepped into Aiden’s space, and held his hips. Aiden let his arms slip around Lucas’s shoulders and they swayed to the music. It gave them both a chance to catch their breath.
Aiden could see amber flecks mixed with the green in Lucas’s irises. There was a light speckling of freckles over his nose and along the top of his cheekbones. It felt like his heart was gasping against his ribcage, struggling to keep itself working.
He’d never felt like this with a girl.
It wasn’t like they were doing anything special. Dancing. Standing closely together. It wasn’t like Aiden couldn’t pick out a dozen moments where he’d wanted to strangle Lucas in the past. He didn’t know when or how the Lucas who was obsessed with roasting marshmallows had gotten this hold over Aiden. Even if he could think about it objectively, his body didn’t listen to his mind.
Aiden kissed Lucas.
A sharp breath was exhaled against his cheek.
He was afraid that Lucas would pull back, but he didn’t. He lifted a hand to cup Aiden’s cheek, and their lips moved softly together.
There was a wolf-whistle from somewhere, an ‘aw’ from a different direction, and a ‘cute’ from someone standing right next to them. Lucas tensed.
Aiden savoured the softness of his lips, the muscle under his fingers, and the body heat enveloping him. He flicked his tongue over Lucas’s bottom lip, tasting the beer that still clung to his skin, and resigned himself to pull back.
Immediately he looked at the crowd. It wasn’t fair to kiss Lucas in front of so many people, when it was clearly making him uncomfortable.
“We should head back.” Aiden said.
“Yeah, they’ll be wondering where we are.”
Disappointment curled in Aiden’s stomach. His skin tingled everywhere Lucas had touched him, even just the spots Aiden had happened to be leaning against. But he’d realised something. Or, he’d finally acknowledged something. Lucas had kissed him back to humour him. He didn’t get jealous even when Aiden was with Connor and a stranger.
Just friends.
Lucas hadn’t meant to just start as friends and become something more, he meant friends.
Now that he acknowledged what it meant, the sting of rejection finally started to sink in. He was hurt. Not because Lucas had done something to hurt him, but because he didn’t feel the same way. It was disappointment and loss and despair all rolled into one.
Aiden liked Lucas.
And Lucas, at most, found Aiden attractive.
“Are you okay?” Lucas broke the silence, “You’re being quiet.”
“Yeah. Sorry. Sorry for kissing you. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“It’s fine.” Lucas chuckled dryly. It was clearly forced.
Just like that, the bad feeling was back and throwing itself into the mix with all his other swelling emotions. He felt like he’d done something he shouldn’t have. He’d screwed up big time, and everyone had seen it.
Aiden dug his phone out of his pockets, so the hands swinging so closely to his sides stopped distracting him. All he wanted to do was take one in his. But he’d listened to his urges enough tonight.
He distracted himself with texting Roma until their tent came into view.
Lucas caught his elbow and stopped walking. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m really sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“Aiden” Lucas sounded upset, “Why are you saying that as if I’m mad about it?”
“I’m not saying– I know you’re not.” Aiden kept his eyes glued on the light on in the tent. He could see the outlines of three figures. He needed to get in there. He needed to not be alone with Lucas anymore.
“You won’t even look at me.”
“It’s too dark to see your face.”
“Just tell me what’s wrong.”
The grip on his elbow got tighter. Maybe giving into his body earlier had done more than make him feel regret now, maybe it paved the way for more moments where his mind couldn’t expert control over the rest of him, because hysteria and desperation rose in Aiden like a tidal wave. He didn’t even know where they were coming from. “Nothing. It’s stupid, and it’s nothing. I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about.”
“Stop saying sorry. It’s okay that you kissed me.”
There was something in Lucas’s voice. Something that sounded like pity. Aiden didn’t like it.
“No, I shouldn’t have. You told me before that you didn’t want to anymore –”
“What? No, I didn’t say-”
“And I clearly made you really uncomfortable so I’m sorry for forcing you to-”
“Aiden!” Lucas let go of his elbow and grabbed his shoulders. Aiden was forced to see his wide green eyes, confused, panicked and upset. “Why are you – what, Jesus, what the fuck? Why do you think that!?”
Aiden flinched at his terse voice.
“I want us to be friends so that you can trust me and we can go out, not because I don’t want us to be like that. And I told you I didn’t mean what I said before, you didn’t force me to do anything, okay? I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to do more than that too. I was uncomfortable because –”
Aiden didn’t get to here why he was uncomfortable. The bad feeling in his stomach suddenly made itself known in a very physical manner. He managed to squirm out of Lucas’s grip in time to bend over the other way and throw up the contents of his stomach a few extra feet away from him. Dissolving chunks of a burger and fries mixed with beer and vodka.
*
The dull ache in his stomach woke Aiden up. His muscles hurt. His throat burned. The taste in his mouth was a strange mixture of stomach acid and mint. He recognised the strong taste of the mouthwash he’d packed last night.
He was inside the small, separate room that had been allocated to Roma. The blankets didn’t do much to keep the chill attacking his skin at bay.
Memories of his argument with Lucas came back to him, but it was like the screen on his memories had suddenly stopped recording after he threw up. He had no idea how that argument ended.
The door flap behind him zipped down and a small bit of light came in.
“I’ll do that, thanks.” Lucas said to someone in the tent. The light closed off.
Aiden kept his breaths long and deep, listening to Lucas’s own ones as he came over to the mattress. He shut his eyes, but felt the air rustling as Lucas leant over him and placed something against the edge of the mattress. Given what had happened, Aiden was guessing it was a bucket.
The blankets behind him were lifted to let in a shiver of cold air, and Lucas lay against his back. He was careful about putting his arm into the gap above Aiden’s shoulder, and the other rested firmly against his stomach.
“Not so hard.” Aiden mumbled, gripping the hand pressing against his abdomen. His insides didn’t like how that felt.
“Are you going to get sick again?” Lucas asked.
“No.” He felt hungry more than anything. But his stomach did hurt. “What happened?”
“What do you remember?”
“Throwing up.” Aiden said, fighting with you over something stupid, jumping to conclusions and making myself out to be an idiot. “After that, I have no idea.”
“You threw up three times.” Lucas said. He shuffled closer so that his chest was flush with Aiden’s back. “You should have told me you weren’t feeling well.”
“I didn’t notice.”
“That isn’t something you don’t notice.”
“Well, I didn’t.” He could feel the tension in Lucas as he answered. Even if it was evident in his tone, Aiden was sure that Lucas wasn’t feeling great right now. Not after they’d fought again. But he’d still lay down next to him, and Aiden could only see that as meaning something good.
“This isn’t going to work, is it?”
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