Crush Culture by Conan Gray <3
Edit: sorry I put the wrong title 😂 this is Generation Why by Conan <3
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I arrived at the office right on time. The receptionist at the desk looked as friendly as usual, note the sarcasm. She’d been a bitch since I’d started coming to therapy. I always thought that had to be a thing for when receptionists signed on for the job.
On the application, it must’ve said, ‘Are you a bitch?’ and all the receptionists must have check marked yes. I really didn’t enjoy her presence, to say the least…
“Hunter,” She nodded her head at me. “Here to see Mrs. Jackson?” she asked, typing away on her computer without even looking away from the screen.
“Yeah, I’ve got an appointment at 6:15,” I replied, tapping my finger against the fabric of my skinny jeans. She nodded her head and handed me a clipboard, allowing me to sign in.
“Okay, go on in. She should be in there in a moment.” I nodded my head and stood up, heading into Mrs. Jackson’s office.
It looked just as it had the last time, with a couch and a few chairs. The same pictures hung on the walls, and it still seemed as if they’d tried too hard to make the place seem friendly.
I visibly cringed, plopping down in one of the chairs near the couch. I let out a sigh as I tapped my foot on the ground, a nervous habit. For whatever reason, I was anxious to talk to Mrs. Jackson about my issues with Grayson.
I knew she couldn’t tell him anything that we discussed while I was in her office, due to legal reasons or whatever, but it still made me nervous to know that the boy I had a crush on’s mom was my therapist.
And she knew all of the problems that I had with her son. I wasn’t one to lie in therapy, either. I either didn’t tell her anything, or I vented it all out. It was usually the latter nowadays, though.
It wouldn’t get me anywhere if I didn’t tell her anything. Aunt Tammy wasn’t paying a shit ton of money for me to not tell my therapist anything. Also, if I kept everything bottled up then I’d just end up lashing out on someone, basically like I did to Grayson.
Though at the time it did seem like Grayson deserved it, but he really didn’t…
“Hunter!”
I jerked my head up at the sound of my name. I smiled, a bit fake, and nodded my head at my therapist.
“Hi, how are you?” she asked the same question every time I came to therapy. It kind of bugged me but I ignored it and replied with, “Good,” turning my gaze back to the floor.
“So how come you scheduled your own appointment today?” she asked, taking out a notepad to write things down on.
“Well, I’ve been having trouble with one of my friends…” I admitted, tapping my finger against my left thigh.
“Oh, which one?” She asked, pushing her glasses up on her nose.
“Grayson.”
She glanced up at the mention of her son’s name, looking at me a bit skeptically. “What happened?” she asked.
“Well, it all started at the party we went to a couple of weeks ago…”
I dove into the details of everything that happened at the party, from when Dylan went to go talk to Grayson to when I ended up in bed with Isaiah the next morning, all while Mrs. Jackson took notes in her notebook or whatever.
“So it kind of feels like he cheated on you but he didn’t.” She concluded, looking up and making eye contact with me. I nodded sheepishly. I’d never thought about it that way but it made sense…
That’s exactly what it felt like. As soon as I saw Grayson and Dylan in bed together, I felt anger, sadness, hurt, and betrayal all at once. It was a weird feeling, but at the same point in time, what Mrs. Jackson said made perfect sense.
It did feel as if Grayson had cheated on me. Like Grayson went behind my back to get with my so-called ‘friend’, then acting like he got caught doing it. I let out a sigh, leaning my head back in the chair.
“Is there anything else, Hunter?” She asked, setting aside the clipboard and crossing her legs, folding her hands in her lap.
“That’s basically it,” I said. “Wait, actually, there’s more. I kind of didn’t tell you much of what had happened, and I don’t know how much Grayson told you about the end of our friendship, but I kind of came unglued on him about the whole situation. At the time, it felt as if he deserved it, but now that I look back on it, I feel really bad… I mean, sure he got with my friend while I liked him, but Grayson didn’t exactly know that I had a crush on him, and it isn’t like I told him or anything. There’s no way he could’ve figured out on his own that I liked him. Sure, I probably gave some subtle hints or whatever, but nothing that would be a dead giveaway that I liked him like that,” I rambled for what seemed like forever but was probably only a few minutes, then thought about something.
“Wait a sec, how did you know that Grayson was gay?” I asked, giving Mrs. Jackson a questioning look.
She chuckled slightly, ruffling her hair a little bit.
“Honey, I’m his mother. I probably knew before he did that he was gay. He doesn’t seem to know that I’ve already figured out that he’s gay and I don’t wanna tell him yet. When he’s ready to come out he will, I’m not gonna rush him into anything,”
I nodded my head in approval. She seemed like she was a good mother to Grayson. I wasn’t sure what his dad’s views on the LGBT were but that may have had something to do with why Grayson hadn’t already come out to his parents.
Most people came out in high school or maybe a soon after they’d graduated, so I was sure that conversation was probably coming in the Jackson household.
“Well, that’s about it…” I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
Mrs. Jackson nodded her head. “The hour’s up anyways,” She said with a smile. “It was good talking to you, Hunter.”
She held her hand out for me to shake and I took it, offering her a smile back.
“Well, this has been a good talk. I’m glad you’ve been opening up more in therapy, Hunter. I’ll see you next week,” she said, patting my back and opening the door to her office.
I smiled and thanked her, then left the office. I would consider that to be one of my better therapy sessions. I usually considered Mrs. Jackson to be a bitch, but today she was actually nice, which I was thankful for.
Now that I’d gotten that out of my system, there was only one thing left to do; fix things with Grayson.
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So yeah, that’s the tea on that! I figure this story is coming close to an end, so thank you to all the people who have stuck around this long and thank you to new readers! I love you all, even if I don’t ever really say it. You guys give me the motivation to write when I don’t feel like it and keep me going with the story, and without you guys, I probably wouldn’t have made it this far! Again, thank you all, and make sure to vote and comment! <3
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