There’s a burning sensation in my stomach that I can’t seem to get rid of. Something is wrong but I can’t think of what it could possibly be.
I could feel my body but why couldn’t I move? Am I bound? Who the fuck would tie me up and leave me like this?
I could feel bile rise up my throat. The acidic feel and taste of it on my parched mouth is disgusting.
I feel sick at the thought that someone did this to me. That someone took it upon himself to hurt me. Why? What did I do? And what in the world happened?
I suddenly felt panic and fear. Everything inside my head is a massive blur to me but I know I’m missing something, something very important that could spell life or death. But I can’t remember what it is. Why can’t I remember? Damn it!
“The high council demands your presence at court.” I heard someone speak not far from where I was. The voice sounded familiar, like I’ve heard it before but who is it? “This is the third summon brother, if you don’t go now…”
“Do you think I care for what they would do to me? For what they want?” An irritated voice spoke up.
I don’t know why but when I heard the sound of that voice I felt like whining. I don’t like the sound of it. No, not the voice itself oddly enough that sounded soothing even if the tone was not right to my ears. The speaker was clearly upset and I’ve got a funny feeling in my gut that I don’t like it when that person is upset. It makes me want to tear someone’s fucking head off!
“I am not leaving until Ciaran wakes up…”
Who’s the hell is Ciaran? And why does this person have to leave when he wakes up? I don’t want him to go. I need him here! His presence, his voice… He is the only thing that makes sense to me right now.
I wanted to open my eyes to tell him not to leave but I think I already have them open. I am conscious, aren’t I? But why can’t I see anything? Why the hell is it so fucking dark? Where in the world am I?
Shit! Now that I think about it…
Who am I? Why can’t I remember anything?
I could feel something stirring inside of me, a presence of another. It was menacing, strong and fairly unpredictable but curiously it doesn’t scare me. If anything, I want to connect myself with it, if that ever makes sense. But how do I do that? I feel like if I do connect with it I’m bound to remember something. Perhaps even that very important thing that I fucking forgot. I can tell it’s seriously pissed off. It’s clawing to get out, to come loose. What would happen if I allow it to break free? It seems like it wants to take over, if I let it how could I guarantee that it wouldn’t devour me?
Let me loose… The voice inside my head commanded.
I was surprised it could talk, that it could communicate with me.
What the hell is it? Shit, I hope it’s not some type of parasite or disease.
For fuck’s sake for once in your fucking life do as you’re told! It screamed irritably. Just let me loose stop suppressing me god damn it!
I don’t like its attitude. I have a feeling I’m not the type of person who likes being dominated by another. I don’t take orders very well. Actually, I’m damn sure I’m used to giving orders not receiving them.
Shut up! I snapped. Stop distracting me. I need to figure out how to get out here. I need to stop that person from leaving.
What person? It asked. The one who spoke up earlier?
Yes! I need to stop him from leaving. I answered. I don’t know where I am or who I am but I need that person to stay here. He’s the only one that makes sense to me. Don’t ask me why I just… I…
I can help you. He offered. I know how to make him stay. Just let me loose and reconnect with me. Stop fighting the bond.
You’re not making any sense…
Just shut up and let me explain you fuck- Before the voice could continue it cut him off.
There it was again.
He’s talking…
“I can’t leave him like this,” he said slowly.
My heart twisted at the desperation in his voice. He sounded like he was in pain. Who hurt him? I swear if I find out who dared to hurt him, I’d kill them all!
“I understand what you’re saying. Really, I do. But if you don’t go to court soon a whole army would march down here. I already received a message that the Queen’s family is trying to start a riot among the royals due to your continuous absence.” The other man said. To be honest, I’m starting to hate this guy. “They will come brother and as you are now, you won’t be able to protect Moonscape when they do.”
“Why can’t you go, be my emissary?”
“Because it’s not my place.” The man sighed tiredly like he was at the end of his tether.
Good maybe if he gets too tired he’d leave my man alone!
“Listen to me brother and listen well. Their side of the family would not stop until you properly squash their opposition. I’m not saying for you to annihilate their pack but to cement your position so they could no longer brook any argument or touch what is yours. Protect your people.” He explained. “The royals are distressed. The former alpha king died in battle in the hands of his own brother who everyone thought was long dead. The truth about the raiders is out and a lot of packs are breaking free from the crown due to distrust. You have to ascend the throne now and relieve this unrest. If you do so you could unite all the royals and all the packs, perhaps even prevent a war from breaking out. After you do your part you could come back here and no one need to bother you if you don’t allow them. Fuck everyone to hell and back after you’ve done your duty as alpha king. But for now you have to go and do this for the sake of your people!”
“I don’t think I can do this, not the way I am right now…”
I wanted to reach out and tell him it’s alright. That he doesn’t need to do anything he’s not comfortable doing. That he should just tell them all to go hang! I want to hold him in my arms and never let go, to protect him from everything and everyone who wants to hurt or cause him pain.
Why do I feel like that? Why do I feel so protective of him?
Because he’s ours… There’s that nagging voice in my head again.
What do you mean he’s ours? I asked curiously.
He belongs to us and we belong to him. He’s our mate dumbass. Those fucking raiders really did a number on us but if you allow me to reconnect with you I could help you heal, remember. And maybe we could stop him leaving shithead!
I really don’t like his attitude. It’s like talking to another version of myself, only meaner.
But I really have no choice in the matter. I don’t think I’d be able to get out of this hellhole on my own. And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life arguing with the voice inside my head. That person needs help and I feel like I’d die if I am not with him. This could be my only ticket out of here and I know I’m running out of time.
Tell me what I have to do. I said, my decision made.
What’s the worse thing that could happen? If I stay here, in this state, I have a feeling I’d be dead anyway. So I’m willing to take the risk and trust this… whatever this is that’s inside me.
Just let go and let me loose, don’t fight me and don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you. Remember… The voice said and for the first since he stirred inside me he sounded gentle. I am you and you are me…
I don’t understand what it meant by letting it loose. I guess it’s just allowing it to break free but I don’t know how to do that either. So when I felt it move closer to where I was, touch my being with its presence, I didn’t fight it as it bid.
I felt a sudden surge of power course through my body at the connection.
I stilled myself and tried not to be afraid. It said it wouldn’t hurt me and curiously, I believe it. As crazy as that sound but I do.
I could feel the strength coming back to my limbs. So the reason why I couldn’t move was because I’ve been too weak to do so. I could feel intense pain in different parts of my body but the power that’s coursing through me is repairing all the damages. It’s regenerating every cell to its original form and reinforcing it with another essence that’s not mine but was fiercely familiar.
My senses sharpened and the first thing I noticed is the incredible scent of fresh, sweet apples. It’s the most delicious and most inviting scent I’ve ever had the privilege to smell. I could lose myself in it and never look back or crave anything else.
Then I could hear another’s heart beating in tune with mine. It was the most glorious sound and I would have ignored everything else just to immerse myself on its lovely tune if I didn’t feel the sudden sparks that ignited underneath my skin.
The side of my neck burned. My whole body screamed in longing. It craves another. Someone marked me. I’m mated!
I smiled to myself waiting for my memories to flow in.
But instead of remembering our first meeting, the sound of her voice and the feel of her skin, the memories that assaulted me were the sound of my mate crying and the remorse I was feeling at what I did and I let happen.
I rejected her. I can’t believe it. I rejected my mate. And she ran away…
I howled as pain of the separation lanced through me. It was too much. How did I survive this?
If she’s not with me then I don’t want to remember. I’d rather forget forever that I had a mate.
Stop it! Don’t fight damn it!. The voice inside my head screamed. Just wait a bit more, it would get better!
How could it get better when I lost the only person that matters most to me? How could it get better when I rejected the only thing that would bring meaning to my life?
What kind of a person am I?
Do I really want to remember all the things that I did wrong in my life?
“Ciaran!” someone screamed as I opened my eyes.
I twisted and turned, fighting the arms that were holding me down the bed. Something was stuck in my arm and whatever it is, it’s making me dizzy. I quickly yanked it off and struggled away from the bed, away from the people trying to pin me down.
I dropped to the floor and immediately crouched down to a fighting position facing everyone in the room.
I quickly scanned my surroundings and realized I was in the pack’s hospital.
The pack doctor was there, along with Lorcan, my beta, and some people I don’t recognize. They were all looking worriedly at me.
“Ciaran?” A man approached. His scent was familiar but I’m sure I’ve never met him before.
“Who are you?” I snarled taking a step back, away from him.
He gasped in horror. His mismatched eyes widened in shock and he visibly paled at my sudden question. He seemed to be very affected by my attitude towards him.
I bared my teeth when I felt my wolf stir angrily. He’s not from my pack. I know that for sure so why is he allowed here in my room?
Something about him doesn’t feel right and until I get my bearings back, I want him gone.
My wolf suddenly went berserk and to contain him I had to shut him off completely. I’m too weak to deal with him right now and if he surfaces I don’t know what he’d do. I have to get rid of this nuisance that’s standing in front of me. His presence is aggravating my wolf.
“My name is Ciaran Blackburn. I am the alpha of Moonscape pack,” I said keeping my eyes trained on him. “I don’t know who you are but I’m sure you are not a member of my pack. You disrespect me by being here. I command you to step outside if you value your life.”
He stiffened but didn’t say anything in his defense or offer any explanation. He just looked at me with sorrow filled eyes. The man standing beside him took a step forward and so did Lorcan but the man put up a shaking hand to stop them and they immediately obeyed.
Who the hell is this man? Why would my beta accept orders from him? Unless he’s royalty I’d say he’d overstepping. But enough about that. For now, I want him out of my room and away from me.
He looked at me a second longer before bowing his head low.
“Forgive me alpha.” He said quietly.
I didn’t miss the quivering of his voice or the tears that fell from his eyes to the tiled floor.
My heart clenched painfully at the way he addressed me. Seeing his tears cut deep inside of me. And when he walked out the door I felt like running after him and beg him to come back.
But why would I? I don’t know him. He’s nothing to me. And right now I have more pressing matters to attend to. Like finding out why in fucking hell am I in the hospital…
Comment