   Starlight flooded the room through the open window when the rust-orange rays of sunlight fully retreated behind the clod. The darkness didn’t matter. I couldn’t sleep.
   My head was buzzing with conspiracy theories as Lord Evenus hold on to my waist and fanned my back with his breath. I kept staring at the wardrobe, almost expecting Sawyer himself to jump out. My body was burning up, and I felt like the only way to cool it down was to find answers. Answers that Bennett was not ready to give me. My eyes teared up, and my throat clogged as the beginning of what would be frustrating sobs started to pull in the pit of my stomach.
   I had just slept with the man I loved—been intimate with him in a way I enjoyed, but here I was drenched in sweat and thighs slithered in oil, still; confused, angry, self-conscious, and jealous. I hated feeling like I did.
   My eyes darted from one corner of the room to the other. Two candles had been lit. one burned on the dresser and another sat on a nightstand. I stared at its flame, watching the red, white, and orange dance as they provided the light.
   A sudden urge to get up struck me, but I couldn’t act on it because Evenus was holding on to me. I thought about it for a bit before reaching to hold his arms. He loosened his grip a bit, muttering my name as I took his hands away. I turned, staring at his face as I thought about leaving his bedroom. He frowned a bit when I made him let me go, but his expression had softened, and he had drifted off to sleep again.
   I let myself touch his face, feeling the ridge of his scar as the edge of my lips twisted downwards in a frown. I touched his brows, feeling the roughness of their hairs under my fingertips before pulling my hand away. I got up from bed, deciding that if I was getting any sleep I would have to sleep in my own room. I got into my hunting clothes again, since I hadn’t brought a nightgown up with me, before taking the lamp off the nightstand and heading out.
   Troy whined when I was at the door before getting up and following me. “You don’t want to stay with him?” I asked, looking down at the greyhound as I closed the door behind us. Troy cocked his head, wagging his tail and letting out his tongue. “Alright then,” I said, kneeling to give him a scratch between the ears before getting up and beginning my journey down the hallway.
   I was going to head down right away, but a whine from Tory made me look over to the door. He had started heading in the direction of the west wing, and he looked excited—as if he was expecting me to follow him.
   “We shouldn’t—” I started, but paused, realizing that Troy followed Lord Evenus into the West Wing drawing-room all the time. I turned again, starting to walk away but Troy growled, making me look back at him with a frown before staring out towards the doors, noticing that they were opened a bit and that lights were on. For a moment I considered walking over to it.
   To close the door.
   Yes, that and nothing else.
   “I’m going to close the door,” I announced to Troy, not sure why I felt the need to defend my decision to a dog. My feet started carrying me in the drawing room’s direction before I could change my mind. I was sure I was skipping—desperate to reach the doors before common sense could take a hold of me. Troy didn’t follow me. The dog ran off, even though he had incited me to do what I was doing.
   My steps grew smaller as I edged closer, and soon, I was face to face with the wooden doors embroidered with metal relief. There was a grown angle on the door, that stared at me with the hollow black indents that were its eyes. The smile was slight. Teasing. I’m sure it was mocking me, so sure of what I would do. I wasn’t strong-willed. I was weak, and my thirst for knowledge outweighed my capacity to wait for Lord Evenus to tell me.
   The light coming from inside the West Wing hall that led to the drawing-room glowed in the distance, seducing me towards it.
   “Just a peek,” I muttered to the angle, opening the door even wider before walking in. The first thing I noticed when I raised my lamp was the paintings. There were so many paintings hanging on the walls, and they were all of Sawyer. I walked through the hallway, digesting all the paintings of the man that was once Lord Evenus’ lover hanging on the walls. A lot was of him smiling, and some of them looked like they had captured a still frame of him in time—deifying that moment in his life.
   My eyes moved to look at the door when I got closer to it. My hand reached out for the handle, and I opened the door, pushing it before stepping into the drawing-room after it. The sound of it creaking filled the room, setting a mood for the silence that followed once I raised my lamp.
   I frowned, a little confused. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. There weren’t any pictures of Sawyer here, but there were bookshelves, some armchairs, a piano, and what I could only describe as an artist station on the far end. I walked over to it, expecting to find an ongoing painting of Sawyer on the canvas sitting on the easel, but it was one of me. My hair looked a lot healthier than it was, and I was dressed in clothes that I’d never owned.
   “Is this how he sees me?” I asked myself under my breath, looking at the sweet smile and gentle eyes that Lord Evenus had given me. Seeing myself in a romantic light was endearing and sweet, but it also made me uncomfortable. There was so much love in the painting, and I was actively denying it by being here in the drawing-room and not trusting Lord Evenus. My eyes flickered away from it.
   I wasn’t sure what to think about it, so I looked away and headed to the other end of the room. I had been too caught up looking through the bookcases that filled most of the area that I didn’t notice the box that sat on a shelf with no books to accompany it. It was wide, spanning for half of the shelf length. I drummed my fingers on its surface, squinting my eyes to read the engraving on it.
   Sawyer IV Evenus.
   My chest tightened at the words, and I started to wonder for a moment if I would be able to take it to the study table and look inside.
   I wondered if it was locked, but on further inspection noticed that who looked last had forgotten to fasten the padlock. Maybe that’s why the door to the west wing had not been properly closed, and why the flame had been burning in the hallway. I sucked my teeth, reaching up to pull the box. It was heavier than I thought it would be, but I had managed to carry it all the way to the study table. I dropped it, and stared down at the box, noticing how high quality it was. There were gold lining and precious jewels that decorated the top. I let my hand brush the rough surface, before moving to open the box.
   My eyes went wide, and my heart skipped a beat when I noticed what I was looking at.
   Bones.
   Bones arranged so neatly that it looked like a Saint’s veneration at a church. The skull was rested above the rest, and the hollow holes were the eyes would have looked out from, haunted me.
   A thought popped into my head. I felt my hands shake as I considered the idea that this was Sawyer’s bones. I recalled Evenus’ story and checked the skull for a head wound, and there it was. I clicked my lips. A pit formed in my stomach as my thoughts raced. Was this what Stephan meant when he asked if Lord Evenus still kept Sawyer. It felt strange looking down at a dead man distilled to his barest of forms. Along with the bones, I noticed a ring and a brooch of Barcombe’s family crest.
   My hands were shaking now, and I didn’t know what to do. What do I make of this? Was this grieving? Was this demonstration his inability to let Sawyer go? Did he know it was strange, and hence why he banned me from the drawing-room?
   My feelings were a mess. All this made me more confused than assured. The whole drawing-room radiated the essence of grappling with emotion. On one end sat a painting of me, and another sat the bones of Evenus’ ex-lover.
   “What are you doing here, Manfred?” the voice coming from the direction of the door scared me. I jumped, turning to find Lord Evenus staring at me with a frown.
   “I—” My lips trembled, and I could only look at Troy who was standing by Lord Evenus’ feet.
   “Manfred, I asked you a question.” The Lord’s voice had a shake to it. It seemed like he couldn’t choose whether to be angry or upset. He was wearing a brown nightshirt over equally brown breeches. He looked like he was in a cold sweat. He must have jumped out of bed and ran over once he figured out what was going on.
   I wanted to make excuses for myself. I wanted to recite a speech about how I didn’t mean to go this far, but I couldn’t do any of that, so I just muttered, “I’m sorry.”
   “Could you leave,” he said, and I nodded, looking at the contents of the box one last time before walking towards the exit. Lord Evenus stared at me. “I told you that I would tell you everything when I was ready.” His eyes were pooling with so much emotion. The look of how he was masking the trembling of his fingers by balling them into fists broke my heart.
   “I’m sorry.” It was all I could say. I couldn’t excuse what I had done. I was just too desperate and put my own insecurities over him needing time to pour his heart out to me.
   Lord Evenus’ lips twitched as he stepped away from the door. “Just go,” he said, and I did as he said, feeling the hot tears that had built in my eyes pour out as I started to sob. I shook my head, running down the hallway and down the stairs. I should have headed for my room, but I didn’t. I ran outside, letting the biting cold soak into my pores as I ran past the night watch gates that lead out of the castle.
   I kept running, feeling that I needed to give Evenus space. It didn’t matter if I had lost my way and couldn’t see much at night. I kept running, and only stopped when I tripped and fell onto the soft snow.
   My eyes fluttered shut, and I gritted my teeth as I cried.Â
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