A Certain Someone ( The On1y One ) Chapter 063 – Declaration

Sheng Wang Thought of What He Said Earlier, and Only a Single Word Was Left in His Mind: Fuck.

“Jiang Tian knew?!” Sheng Wang was thunderstruck.
Zhao Xi nodded. “Yeah.”
Sheng Wang dropped his book. He stared numbly at it for a while before he bent over to scoop up the book again, and then asked, disbelieving once more, “Jiang Tian knew?”
Zhao Xi: “……”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “I didn’t see you dropping your book when I came to look for you to have a chat, so why are you dropping it now?”
Sheng Wang did not answer, and remained in stunned silence for quite a while.

Various images flashed in his mind: from groups of two, groups of three, groups of many. In the end, they all freeze-framed on the same line: there wasn’t only one person who said that he and Jiang Tian were super similar to Zhao Xi and Lin Beiting. The person who said it did not imply anything otherwise, but the person who heard it took it to heart. Sheng Wang had heard it countless times, and Jiang Tian was next to him for nearly every single one.

Therefore, there had to be no way he knew?
But that’s impossible.
Sheng Wang thought, at a complete loss.

That can’t be……
Otherwise why did he not refute them even a single time after hearing it again and again?

“How would there be no way?” Zhao Xi suddenly spoke. Sheng Wang turned to him, and realised he said the “no way” out loud.
“Isn’t it quite normal for Xiao-Tian to know? I’ve known him for so long,” Zhao Xi lamented, “He’s still so little when I was in high school. It doesn’t really sink in if I don’t say it, but now that I’m mentioning it, I seriously witnessed a Jiang Tian that was so tiny? Life is so magical.”

There was mirth in his voice no matter what he spoke about, regardless if it was between him and Lin Beiting, or him and Jiang Tian, it all seemed like casual chitchat. However, at this moment, the more he spoke, the more Sheng Wang’s heart was sent into chaos.

Yeah. Jiang Tian stayed in Wu Tong Wai ever since he was a kid, Zhao Xi was someone who stayed here too. They’ve known each other for so long, and it couldn’t be any more normal for him to also know.
Yet, if he already knew about Zhao Xi and Lin Beiting’s relationship, then what was he thinking every time he heard the comparisons?
Why was he so quiet every time?

Sheng Wang thought: did he think that I would lose face if he refute them? Or……
Whatever that came after the “Or” was way too preposterous, he knew that he shouldn’t go in that direction, but he couldn’t help to. Therefore, his sunken heart began to gently soar amidst the seemingly aimless thoughts.

He suddenly felt that he was quite hypocritical—he kept going on telling himself, “He is my older brother”, but when it came down to it, as long as he thought of that one in a million absurdity, he couldn’t help but to be happy again. Even though this probability was so miniscule to the point that it was negligible, and it would never be proven, ever.

He zoned out with his eyes fixed on a random spot for a long while before he finally asked Zhao Xi, “Xi-ge, do you know what happened when he’s super young?”
“You’re talking about Jiang Tian?”
“Yeah.”
Zhao Xi recalled for a moment, and said, “He didn’t know when Lin-zi and I just got together. He’s too small back then, around five-six years old, I think. I would often help my dad to pass some things to uncle mute, and he always stayed at grandpa Ding’s, who lived opposite.”
“His surname isn’t Ding, I think,” Sheng Wang said.

“Yup, but as to what is his true surname, I don’t think anyone really knows. He rarely brings it up.” Zhao Xi quirked a corner of his lips as he smirked, “I’m even the one who came up with Old Man Ding as a nickname, afterwards the kiddos in the alley plagiarised from me, and even later everyone in this generation all call him that.”
“Everyone? Then the first time I met him, I called him grandpa Ding, but his eyes were so huge when he glared at me?”
“He’s just scaring you. The old sir does have a bad temper, but he’s a pretty kind person too.”

It was Jiang Tian’s desk that Zhao Xi was sitting at, he started fiddling around with a ruler he casually fished from his pencil case. “Back then, Jiang Tian often read in the old man’s yard. What a young age, but such a stubborn temperament. I could already tell this boy will definitely be quite proud when he’s older, and quite gloomy for sure.”

“I’m pretty wild around then, I didn’t exactly have much patience. Sometimes, I would leave after teasing him for a couple of lines, and sometimes, I would chat with him for a bit. At the start, he didn’t respond to me. Later, when he chanced upon books he couldn’t understand, I would go there and go blah blah blah as I showed off. He probably never seen hooligans who love to read too, and thought that it was quite novel, so he reluctantly responded to me. Eventually, we became familiar with each other, and then I introduced Lin-zi to him. Lin-zi was an infamous school tyrant in middle school too, and pulled a long face all the time. When he sat face to face with Jiang Tian……man, that scene was hilarious.”

Sheng Wang recalled the Jiang Tian in Old Man Ding’s words. The two years Zhao Xi mentioned were around when Jiang Tian was locked out from his grandma’s house. With that gauche personality of his, the surface level of familiarity he displayed towards Zhao Xi and Lin Beiting only suggested that he cherished them more personally at heart. They were probably the few friends he had in that time.

“Jiang Tian didn’t know back then. Later—university, I think, I don’t remember what year it was—I came back once to tidy things up over a break, and wanted to find some suitable books for Jiang Tian to read. Instead, I ended up finding a bunch of old thingies. There were two polaroids, and they happened to be stuck in between the old books.” Zhao Xi recalled, and his words gave way to laughter, “I was already no longer with Lin-zi at that time, and I personally was a little dazed when I saw the photos out of the blue too, so I didn’t immediately keep them away. So Jiang Tian saw them, just like that.”

Upon seeing the confusion on Sheng Wang’s face, he added, “The degree of…intimacy was around the same as what you saw that day.”
Sheng Wang awkwardly let out an “oh”, indicating that he got it.
Zhao Xi raised an eyebrow; this hoodlum truly befit his school tyrant origin, as the person implicated himself, he was the one who was completely unbothered instead. “Jiang Tian wasn’t that old back then, not even 10, I think. I thought he wouldn’t get it at all, but for some reason he had an especially strong reaction towards it.”

“Strong reaction?” Sheng Wang didn’t quite understand.
Zhao Xi thought and said, “He was repulsed, by like, a lot.”
Sheng Wang stilled.

That one out of a million absurdity abruptly vanished in the few words that came from Zhao Xi; like a popped balloon, after the explosion, the ragged bits were left to slowly drop, and quietly descend onto the ground.

After an unclear amount of time, he softly asked, “He….he’s that against it?”
“Yeah, he’s so repulsed that he left without taking the books.” Zhao Xi said, “He was still young back then, different from the way he is now. No matter how hard he tried to keep his face stony, it was still evident from his face. I could tell he was trying to restrain himself out of politeness, but I could also tell that he was especially……”

He frowned as he deliberated over his words. For a moment, Sheng Wang thought he would use the word “disgusting”, but what he went with in the end was “uncomfortable”.
Zhao Xi said Jiang Tian looked especially uncomfortable at that time.

“That’s why I was saying, your reaction today surprised me quite a bit.” Zhao Xi’s light brown eyes turned to Sheng Wang, his hands still fiddling with the ruler, “It’s so drastically different from Jiang Tian’s reaction. However, his reaction was quite rare. Most of the people who knew had the same initial reaction between you two.”

Sheng Wang downcasted his eyes, and chuckled in half self-mockery, half playing along, “Is that true? We must truly be brothers then, we took up both extreme ends of the spectrum.”
“Yeah, it was pretty extreme. I nearly questioned my life over that boy.” Zhao Xi said jokingly, “After he left, I took the entiiiiire day to reflect, thinking: really? Is it really that hard to stomach?”

“What about later?” Sheng Wang asked.
“Later? Later on, I was like, that kiddo is so freaking troublesome, why should I have to coax him? Let him be, damn. In the end, not even two days later, I obediently went to have a chat with him.” Zhao Xi lifted his chin, saying, “Just like the way I’m talking to you know, but not as light-hearted though. He’s very stolid, he refused to reveal any of his thoughts on this at all. I don’t even know if any of what I said had an effect at all.”
“For a time, I suspected if he had some trauma in regards to it. Later on, I discovered that he likely did have something happen to him.”

Sheng Wang violently looked up, but Zhao Xi did not plan to go any further into it. “Just my guess, I don’t have any concrete evidence, so I wouldn’t be telling you. In any case, I have already tried my best, and chatted with him so many times. Not that long later, he moved away from here, and I went overseas too. We did stay in contact, but not often. A year or two, and I’m back in the country for summer break. He came to Wu Tong Wai a few times. The first few times, he said he’s there for Old Man Ding, and later, he finally came to look for me on his own, and awkwardly apologised to me. That’s when I knew he got over it.”

He got over it.
The four words came so easily out of his mouth, but Zhao Xi knew that for someone with Jiang Tian’s personality, spending two years to correct an inherent perception had to be a tough internal battle with much push and pull.
It was also from that day that he realised: to Jiang Tian, he and Lin Beiting were truly important friends to him.

“I keep saying that he’s too mature, but that’s not true, really. When he starts getting proud, he’s a match for my unruly ways back then. Honestly speaking, he’s constantly asking for it, but that face of his lets him get away every time.” Zhao Xi tutted, and his voice lowered, “But, he’s very rational. Even people older than him by a lot wouldn’t be able to get past this either, not to mention the people the same age as him. He wouldn’t let a problem stemming from one person affect his perception of an entire group of people, that’s quite rare to see.”

As Zhao Xi spoke, he looked up, only to discover Sheng Wang had long since spaced out. Who knew what went into his ears, or what he was thinking of. Perhaps it was the way the hue of the lights in the classroom was too cold or something, but his face appeared pale.

This reaction was rather abnormal, and with some details from earlier clicking together, Zhao Xi gradually began to furrow his brows. He watched the boy’s slightly lowered eyes, and suddenly called under his breath, “Sheng Wang?”

“Hm?” Sheng Wang came back to himself, and looked up to face him.
“I see that you’re zoning out, and your face doesn’t look too good. Are you unwell?” Zhao Xi said.
“No,” Sheng Wang shook his head, saying, “I just thought of something that has nothing to do with this, that’s all.”
“Then that’s fine,” Zhao Xi said.

As they spoke, Sheng Wang suddenly noticed a new notification on his phone screen, from two minutes ago. He unlocked his phone and entered WeChat, the message came from Jiang Tian—
Changbai Mountain’s Divine Tree: I’m done over here
Changbai Mountain’s Divine Tree: I’ll wait for you downstairs?

Sheng Wang looked at the alias with mixed feelings, and typed out a reply: omw
Zhao Xi asked, “Jiang Tian is done with his stuff?”
Sheng Wang nodded, “Yeah.”
“Then, let’s go. Downstairs.” As he spoke, he stood up from the table, and even remembered to put the ruler he had been fiddling with back inside Jiang Tian’s pencil case.

Sheng Wang followed behind him; the more he looked at that alias, the more out of place it seemed, therefore he changed it to “The Emperor of Acting in the Jungle”. Who knew if it was a jab at Jiang Tian, or at himself.
The cold light in the classroom darkened just like that. Sheng Wang looked up, and saw Zhao Xi switching off the lights. He changed the alias, and just as he tapped on “confirm”, Zhao Xi, who was in front of him, suddenly turned around. He asked, “Sheng Wang, I’ve wanted to ask you this just now, actually. Are you also……”

The way he said it was hesitant and euphemistic, but Sheng Wang understood near instantaneously. His heart skipped a beat, and flashed a smile at Zhao Xi on instinct, saying, “Hey, what are you thinking about, Xi-ge? I like girls.”
Zhao Xi looked at him with lowered eyes, the roguish light in his eyes absent for once. Instead, there were a few traces of gentleness laced within. He nodded, saying, “Ah, that’s good.”
Sheng Wang paused.
“It’s not an easy path to walk on,” Zhao Xi then said, like it was both a lament and something he aimed at Sheng Wang.

“I know.” As Sheng Wang spoke, he reached out to tug at the handle on the classroom door.
However, when the door opened, Jiang Tian was already swiping on his phone by the door. God knows how long he had been standing there, and how much of the conversation did he hear.

Sheng Wang thought of what he said earlier, and only a single word was left in his mind: Fuck.

TO BE CONTINUED.