Absolutely Yours 42

Kongpob’s POV

“Where are you?”

Bench by the Engineering building. – Arthit

I cheerfully walked my way to the place he mentioned. Being an incoming senior, their schedules are tighter than us so I always squeeze myself in it. And if he has qualms in it, he’s definitely doing a poor job at showing for he never refused.

When I arrived, I saw him surrounded by the seniors.

“I knew it was you guys, I was just pulling your leg.” Arthit said, he was stuttering.

I wondered what these seniors are up to again. When they are together they always bully each other.

Judging by the way they are ganging up on him, Arthit might be the chosen subject for bullying today.

“Nah, don’t change the topic, “ Prem.

“Why would I date though? I am in love with Sahit and there’s no way I can easily move on. “

I froze and went to a strong state of disbelief. My heart felt like it was gripped and squeezed into shreds.

I struggled to hold it together.

There’s no way I can easily move on.

If I could only look past it.

If only I could ignore the pain.

If only I could unheard it.

But my mind was playing on me for it kept on repeating like it was put on never-ending loop.

I know, if there is one person I couldn’t compete with, it’s Sahit.

If there’s one person I’m extremely jealous with, it’s her.

When I started to pursue him, I wasn’t certain if he has utterly forgotten about her but I just can’t wait until he does.

I chased him knowing he has someone in his heart and with the intention of replacing her in it.

I thought things were looking up between us but I guess I thought wrong.

I thought I could finally have his heart with me – alone in it.

He spoke about being in love with her like he was so proud of it.

It was easier for him to say it than just deny it.

How could I not be jealous of her?

She was the reason he got drunk that night. It was her name he murmured in my ear while he was kissing me.

She was her first love. Like they said, first love is a memory forever etched into our heart. I may not know how intense Arthit’s love for Sahit then but she was the first person that made him feeling things he never thought he was capable of feeling toward anyone.

If only I could change it, I would but I know I couldn’t.

“Kong, help us interrogate Arthit. He has a secret lover. “

When Prem called me out my body just went with the flow. I made no eye contact with him, I don’t want to make the situation more complicated for him as it already is.

I didn’t expect him to tell them about us but if I could have my way I would proudly flaunt him. Why wouldn’t I? I love this man and I want everyone to know and I understand if he isn’t ready yet.

I didn’t want to force him and I want to let him tell his friends in his time. Our kind of relationship will probably make people raise their brows but I don’t care.

None of it matters, only Arthit.

What I didn’t expect was claiming he was still in love with someone else.

I was out of my mind the entire time that I was surprised when I found myself being teased by the others about the girl asking for me.

“Should we talk in private?”

I wanted to get away and be alone for a while to think things through so I took the chance to lead the girl to talk in private.

When Arthit held me as if stopping me to go, I paused for a moment.

I’m sorry.

I took his hand away and walked out with the girl.

“Kong, I like you.” she looked shy contrary to her words – direct and outspoken.

“I appreciate it but I’m already dating someone.” I think she deserves an outright answer too.

A sudden pang flashed through her eyes.

If only we could like the ones that like us, it could have spared a lot of us from heartaches – sadly that’s not how it works.

I went to my place I don’t think I’d be able to attend my class anymore but it was a bad decision. I was drowned and lost in my thoughts.

Time past.

A knock on my door disrupted me from my deep thoughts.

I saw Arthit standing behind it when I opened.

My heart was in turmoil but when I see him I find peace in my chaotic state of mind. As I gaze at him I have no doubt that no matter how painful it is to love him. And even if he doesn’t like me the way I like him. I’ll embrace him with no questions – just like a rose with torns, I’d embrace him taking no heed of the inevitable pain.

After all,  he wouldn’t choose to be with me if I don’t somewhat matter to him.

I’ll hold on to that feeling, whatever it is.

I forced a smile and left the door open.

He followed me to my balcony but spoke no words.

Was he angry? “Arthit, are you mad?”

He was quiet that it scared me.

I seized him and kissed him slowly – hoping to convey my feelings through it.

“If you want to keep us as a secret, it’s okay. If you want me to act like we’re not together when we’re with friends, it’s fine with me. Let’s do this your way. I’ll settle with everything you want. Just as long as I am the only one – the only person in your heart.” I poured my heart out.

When he pulled me in on a kiss, my heart was elated. It me feel a lot of things all at once. 

At that moment, I felt the urged to touch him.

I felt the urge to make him feel loved.

I need him to need me.

I want him to want me.

“Do me,”

It shook me up. “We don’t need to do it today.”

“I want it Kong. I need you to completely own me if you still didn’t know I’m yours. Only yours.”

It was something unimaginable that my heart refused to believe it. It felt like it was too good to be true. 

I must have a place in his heart too, no matter how small and that thought was enough for me to be euphoric. 

As I stare at him beneath me, wanting me. 

The way he trembled in my arms made me needed. 

He was so lovely that I sucked him to leave a mark on him – to finally own him.

Blushing Arthit made me desire him even more, the anticipation in his eyes while waiting for me to be completely naked was alluring.

I couldn’t help but smile mischievously.

I wanted to take him slow but slow was far from what he wanted.

When I entered him, I felt a sudden pain. It hurts that I can’t imagine Arthit’s. 

If he told me to stop, I would instead he grinded his hips that it replaced the pain to pleasure. 

I threw all my worries away and started to push and pull my length. 

I tried to be cautious but I was caught by the heat of the moment.

It felt so good to be finally one with him. 

His moan was like music to my ears.

We came together and I felt as if my heart will stop thumping any time soon.

I was ecstatic.

As I collapsed on top of him, I realized I am so doomed. 

My love and need for him grew deeper and deeper.

It’s so deep that I surrender myself completely and there’s nothing I want more in this world but for him to be happy. 

No matter what it takes.

And when I thought I couldn’t be any happier, he drew me closer and whispered. “I love you, Kongpob, so damn much. “

A sudden drop of tear flowed down my cheek – this must be tears of joy. 

I smiled inside knowing, I’ve fallen irrevocably in love with Arthit. And I am letting myself be a subject to an utterly strong and yet uncontrollable emotion – making me vulnerable but I know it’ll be worth it.

Arthit, I know you are worth it.

—

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for waiting.

#crossfinger ~♥~
v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ