Arthit’s POV
From Arthit
Kong, where are you?
From Arthit
Please, let me explain.
From Arthit
God dammit, answer my calls.
From Arthit
Fuck. Fine, if you don’t wanna talk then don’t.
From Arthit
I don’t care.
From Arthit
I don’t care anymore.
From Arthit
I don’t fucking care.
From Arthit
Kong?
From Arthit
It’s okay if you don’t want to talk but let me know you’re somewhere safe.
From Arthit
I’m worried.
From Arthit
Kong.
From Arthit
Please.
From Arthit
I’m sorry.
I called him several times but I was always transferred to his voicemail after it rang. He never pick my calls, he just let it ring until a prompt were heard. I gripped my phone tightly, pinning my hopes on his reply, then succumbed to my thoughts.
I lost track of time staring at the ceiling while laying on my bed, I felt the pang in my heart. It stings every time I think about what happened. I can’t blame Kong for jumping into conclusions. Hell, if I were to see him kissing someone else – all hell breaks loose. I felt so stupid to even consider of taking a chance on Sahit when I knew all along to whom I belong – to whom my heart belongs. I was too slow, slow to discern. I was a fool, fool to even need a confirmation just to prove I was over her but what’s done is done. I could never change what happened no matter how badly I want it.
How am I going to make it right? How am I going to have him trust me again? How am I going to tell him that it was nothing? How am I going to make him believe me that it’s him whom I love and I was completely over Sahit? Or did he stop loving me? Did he finally realize that I am good for nothing ass? Is he done with me? Does he not love me anymore? Is it possible to un-love a person so quick? I hope not.
I put the back of my palm to cover my eyes when a water started to cloud my vision, letting my tears to run down my skin. I pursed my lips to prevent myself from whimpering but to no avail. My chest hurt, so damn bad. I felt like drowning and suffocated by intensity of pain. My shoulder shook not long after, I couldn’t help it anymore, I let myself drown in my own tears.
Damn.
I miss you, Kong.
“Arthit?” Sahit called my name when I was about to run after Kong. I stopped on my tracks and took a deep sigh. Maybe, it’s about time for me to stop turning the page of our story because I am ready to close the book. I’ve been ready for long but too dazed to notice.
I like Sahit for the way she is. I was comfortable to have her around. I was never conscious of myself when I’m with her. We never make up for we never argue. We see each other eye to eye. She makes an effort to make me smile all the time. On the other hand, I am in love with Kong for the way he is and he isn’t. Even if I was sometimes awkward around him, I need to have him around. I want him around. I am always conscious of myself when I’m with him because I want to be someone rightful to be his. We always argue and we never see each other eye to eye often but through it we got to know and understand each other. Moreover, he never have to make an effort to make me smile because just the thought of him was good enough.
I want to face Kong with a clean slate. It would be fair to him if I do. I don’t want anything to hold me back when I face him again. I turned and smiled at her, she was clearly perplexed by the way her jaw slightly dropped and his eyes inquisitively looked at me.
She took a step forward, closing our distance her hand around my arms. The proximity irked me. She was too close that I felt like I was cheating again. I took a step back, regaining my personal space. “Sahit,” I held her gaze. “I know you need me but Kong needs me more. ” I’ve never felt prouder in my life, not even when we won the championship and I was awarded to be the MVP. “I love Kong and I just messed things up. “
Sahit gasped. “I-I’m sorry,” I knew it was a genuine apology. I perked my lips up slightly wanting it to be a smile but I knew it appeared otherwise.
“I need to go. ”
I didn’t wait for her to give me a go. I ran. I ran towards the elevator hoping I’d get to catch Kong. I ran and ran and ran but I was too late.
He was gone.
When I went to his room after ‘it’s happened, he wasn’t there. I waited, waited till sun down and sunrise but not even a shadow of him showed up. The next day, I dragged myself to the university, hoping Kong would appear in his classes but it all went in vain. I asked M and the others who might know his whereabouts but failed.
I waited badly for the school to be over because there was a tiny hope he would participate in the basketball practice after classes but it was all crushed when he didn’t. I went to his room after Knot told me off since I am useless in the practice. I rejected him not for I wasn’t in the mood for playing.
I opened the door using the key he gave me so I won’t need to wait for him outside. I never had the chance to use it though until now for he never made me wait. His place was spotless as always. Suddenly, my chest pricked in pain seeing his school bag carefully laid against the sofa. It was where I last seen it. A sign he never came back. Never. Is he ever coming back? The thought was enough to make my heart felt like it was crumpled. My heart beat picked up and my tears begun to fall.
Shit.
I want you back, Kong.
The following day, Kong didn’t turn up – both for his classes and our basketball practice. It was disheartening. I was both worried and exasperated. The ache of longing of wanting to see him seeping through every marrow of my bones. With every spare moment, I would rehearse our times together – wondering if it could ever happen again. I never thought missing someone could take over every fiber of your being. It was tormenting me inside. A kind of torment I wasn’t prepared for.
Kong, I’ll do anything. Just come back, please.
Third day, I sauntered lifelessly towards Kong’s room not expecting anything but internally longing he’d be there. When I entered his room, the only sound I heard was silence. Silence suffocates. I closed the door as if it could trapped our memories in. The curtains flew along with the wind as the window was widely opened. I furrowed my brow. I can distinctly remember the windows were closed. Does that mean..? My eyes darted to the sofa and notice his bag was missing. My heart skipped a beat then started to pick up. Is he back? I checked every corner of his room but found him not.
Thinking, he went to school I sprinted out of his room. I reached there in a flash.
“Hey, Arthit! ” Bright with Prem were strutting towards me. “You-“
“Have you seen Kong? ” cutting him off, I give no damn whatever he was about to say.
“Ye-, ” my heart skipped a beat again. It’s funny how it reacted just hearing Kong’s name.
“Where? ” the beating of my heart came to a halt.
“He was talking with coa-, ” before Bright could finish, I scurried out again.
“Arthit! ” Prem and Bright sang in chorus but I paid no heed. They were both left clueless.
“Can you at least let me finish like any normal person with manners would do? ” Bright weeped loudly.
I turned a deaf ear on him. I wriggled my way to a familiar path leading to the gym where coach’s office is. Forgetting my manners, I barged in his office without knocking. I saw coach tear his gaze from his laptop to look up to me.
“Arthit, good thing you’re here. ” he seemed to pay no attention at how I roughly entered his office. My eyes swept the room only to be disappointed – there was no Kong.
“Did Kong come here? ” I asked without beating around the bush. I tried to sound calm and collected.
“I was about to discuss about him to you. “
I kept my gaze at him as if telling him to go on.
“Kong’s quitting the team. “
“What? Why? “
“You’re the captain, you should have at least an idea. “
I closed my mouth. I have, in fact, I am the reason. Of course, he couldn’t tell his coach that.
“Talk to him, “
I nodded and excused myself.
I probe every place where I thought Kong would be. The library. The cafeteria. The basketball gym. The auditorium. The quadrangle. Our department but to no avail. Shoulders and hopes down, I strode back to our department – eyes on the ground and hand clasped around my bag. I walked gnawing my underlip hoping it would overshadow the twinge that’s looming inside me.
Please don’t give up on me.
“Kong, you’re so out of it man. Take my notes and study what you’ve missed. ” I overheard from a spitting distance.
“Thanks! ” I didn’t need to look up to know to whom the voice was coming from. My heart recognized for it started to thump at unbelievably fast rate. The beat was so loud that my breathing was stucked in my throat. I lifted my head up and I caught sight of the person I was looking for- a stone’s throw away – Kong treaded the hallway alongside M. Spellbound, my steps slowly came to a halt, my gaze was fixed at him.
Then, our eyes locked. Kong’s face was devoid of any emotion while his eyes betrayed him – giving me a glare, not long ago it glimmered with warmth. Now they were only chilling.
His long dark eyelashes flittered as he lowered his gaze turning away from me.
—
Well, long overdue but I saw Singto in Thailand last week, November 5 at GMMTV live house in Central World. My fangirl heart flew out of my ribs. OMG. Our guy is soooooooo, soooooo handsome. I just have to repeat that to emphasize my point. He was worth flying there again. Haha
I was about to make this really long but decided to cut it here. I hope you’re still following the story. Not sure if this is still making sense. Let me know, please.
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