   Months passed, and Evenus and I made things work as a couple. I followed him to meetings and gatherings when I could, and I spent the summer alone just like last time, writing to him as I took care of the castle with Marie.
   I wrote to Alistair too. I had gotten his information from Evenus, and it has been awkward at first. Short letters of hellos that described the weather and the small happenings around us. When I wrote to him, we avoided talking about our past together and skirted around it with conversations relevant to the present.
   It was only when Alistair explicitly mentioned his hurt in the middle of our writing relationship that I addressed it with tear-glossed eyes and a racing heart. I apologized to him. I asked for his forgiveness. I told him I was sorry for being too much of a coward to admit what had happened when we had been brought to the person who led our sermons. I told him I was happy he was still alive, and I explained that it was okay if he hated me and just wanted to talk to me a bit for closure.
   When I had gotten his response back, it had held the sentence “I forgive you” at the top before delving into how he got into his current situation.
   Being banished had been hard, he had written, explaining to me how his first month had been him taking odd jobs as he headed further south. He had ended up squatting at a house that belonged to a baker and his wife before being suggested as kitchen staff to the Baron of the small town.
   Alistair told me he was in love with the son of the man he worked for, and I remembered how a wave of relief had hit me at those words. It was selfish of me to wish that Alistair moved on so that I could feel less guilty moving on, but it was how I felt. I had hesitated a bit before replying to his letter. I explained my situation with Evenus, and we started talking about personal matters. I gave him advice on his relationship, and he comforted me with promises that Evenus wouldn’t die in his campaigns in the summer.
   Lord Evenus did return at the end of summer. It had been late in the evening, and Marie had greeted him with Troy before I took the mantle of helping him settle back in as he spoke to me about his campaign and the silly hijinks his men got up to.
   “Manfred.”
   I looked up at the sound of my name. The bedchamber had gone quiet for a bit. Lord Evenus was standing by the window, looking out of it with a lost look in his eyes.
   I sat up, straightening out on his bed as I folded one of his shirts in my hands.
   “You called, Bennett?” I asked, and he turned to look at me.
   “I hope you know that your two years are almost up. They’ll be in this coming winter,” he muttered, and I stared into his dark eye, before looking away. My eyes flickered to my hands I had nester on my lap. I fidgeted with my fingers, nibbling my bottom lip as I wondered what he was telling me that for.
   “Yes, I know,” I said, looking up at him. “Is something the matter?”
   The lord’s eyes lingered on me for a bit. “I was wondering if you might want to go back home—?
   “Do you want me to go back home?” I asked, cutting him off. My heart was beating. Lord Evenus’ mouth hung open for a bit. I watched as he brought a hand to his scruff, rubbing it as he let out a sigh.
   “I don’t, but your family…” he trailed, and I looked down at the floor, staring at the hide of a beer that was used to make a rug.
   “I could send a message to them. Also, I could visit briefly like I did last time,” I said. I heard the Lord walk through the room, and soon the mattress of the bed sank with his weight as he sat next to me.
  The Lord sighed. “You know, when you reject my offers to go back, it makes it seem like you’re fine with staying with me forever.”
   “I am,” I said, making him turn to look at me. His expression was soft. I stared at his face, taking in his strong jawline and dark eyes. The scar was as evident as ever, serving as a reminder of his past. I reached out my hand, letting myself hold his face as my thumb brushed over the pink keloid. “I want to be with you for as long as you’d let me.”
   The lord closed his eyes. “You won’t grow sick of me and my depression?”
   “I’ve loved you for almost seven years now,” I muttered, realizing how long I had been in the castle with him. My eyes flickered to the gap between us. “I know I’m not Sawyer—”
   “You don’t have to be. I don’t want you to be,” the Lord said, cutting me off. “I love you,” he said, repeating the words he had to say so often to soothe me.
   “I’m just afraid…” he admitted, reaching up to hold the hand I had on his face.
   He leaned in, catching my lips with his. We kissed for a while, and the lights from the chandelier illuminated our skins. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, and the feeling of stomach twisting up with nerves as Evenus tongue found mine.
   He let out a low moan, pulling away from me before pressing his forehead against mine. “Manfred,” he called to me, running his hand down my back.
   My eyes stayed focused on his face, watching his full brows come together in a slight frown. “Hmm?”
   “I think it’s time I cleared the closet of Sawyer’s belongings,” he muttered, pulling away from me. “I think it’s time he had a proper burial.”
   My heart caught up in my throat at the Lord’s words. This was hard for him. I could see it in his eyes. I pressed my face in his chest, gripping his shoulders as I hugged him tightly.
   “Are you okay?” I asked.
   “Yes,” he muttered resting his head on my own before kissing my forehead. “I think I am.” He hugged me. His grip was tight, but his shoulders were shaking. We didn’t say anything to each other after that.
   I spent the night with him and held him when he burst into tears at night.
   The next morning, I helped him clear the closet, and I made sure that he had enough time to recall his fond memories before we stuffed Sawyer’s clothes in the sack I had taken from the storage.
   Lord Bennett wanted to take down the paintings too, but I had told him it was okay to have them. Throwing away everything was just the other extreme that mirrored hoarding everything.
   He could remember Sawyer. He just had to accept that the man had died and wasn’t coming back. I made sure to remind him of that.
   The burial didn’t come until fall. There wasn’t anything grand about it aside from the casket and headstone the Lord had gotten custom made.
   Lord Evenus had invited the Count and his daughter, but they knew to give him space—lingering in the distance when Evenus went to the grave to say his farewells. It felt strange standing nearby and watching Lord Bennett ramble to the grave of a man that had left the world over ten years ago. There was so much emotion in his words, sometimes they came out choked up and fragmented, and other times there would stress him to the point of silent tears.
   When Lord Evenus looked up from the headstone he caught my eyes. I smiled at him, and he mirrored it, and for a moment it felt like we were the only ones in the small garden. I zoned out the Count Lady Agnes’ voices.
   “I think he would love the engraving,” Lord Evenus said, looking back at the headstone. It was expensive as well as customized so much that it looked more like a monument than a headstone.
   My eyes moved to the flowers resting on the grave. Lord Evenus had picked them himself.
   A smile formed on my lips. “He would.” From the little I knew about the man; I could tell that he was fashionable and stylish. I could see the attention Evenus had paid to that when commissioning his headstone. His casket had been that way too. Incorporating the blues and embroidery patterns that the former Lord loved so much.
   “Yeah, I’m sure he would…” Lord Evenus trailed, hugging himself. His cloak flapped in the wind of the fall. We were all wearing black clothes, head to toe. The afternoon sun was buried behind the mist of the fog. It was like the day was mourning with us.
   With Evenus.
  I approached the Lord, standing by his side as my eyes stared at the grave in front of me. I soon felt Lord Evenus’ hand wrap around my shoulder. His grip was thought—it felt like he was scared to let me go. I wrapped my hand around his waist, taking a deep breath as I closed my eyes.
   I savored the moment, preparing for the future we were going to share together. I knew that the Lord will still have night terrors. I knew that he still had a lot of grief to let go of, and I knew that sometimes those complex emotions would be hard on me too.
   Lord Evenus started to sing, bellowing as he rocked us from side to side. I could hear the emotion in his voice—the unaddressed pain. His love for me. His love for Evenus. All his pain and worries.
   My lips twisted as I let a few words slip through my lips. It felt ironic to send a silent prayer to God, asking for the grace to commit my life to Evenus, but I did it anyway.
   When Evenus has calmed down I signaled to the others that it was fine to head upstairs. We went straight for the drawing-room in the west wing, talking and feeding Troy snacks that he wasn’t supposed to have. At some point, Lord Bennett got up from his armchair and went to sit by the piano. He started playing a tune that got Lady Agnes singing, and eventually all of us.
   A smile formed on my lips when I noticed that there was a glint in the Lord’s eyes as he played the piano. The aura around him seemed a lot freer—like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders. My eyes flickered to the painting of Sawyer hanging on the wall behind him. My smile widened as I looked into the blue eyes of the former Lord. I raised my glass, making a toast to his spirit, wherever it may be.
   I’ll take it from here. I said in my head, still smiling at the painting of Sawyer. I would love Lord Evenus on his behalf, and I would love him well.
   THE END.Â
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