I didn’t know how long I had been laying on the ground, but what I did know was that my fingers had gone numb and it was hard to retract or stretch them. My throat was dry, and my eyes were refusing to remain open since there was ice was forming on the side of my eyes and areas of my face where my tears had streamed down.
   I should have been panicking that I could possibly die. I should have been worried that the stinging pain I could feel on my leg through my breeches wasn’t just a scab, but I didn’t have the energy to do any of that. If Lord Evenus hated me and wanted me gone after today, what would I do with myself? I didn’t want to go back home, and I didn’t think I could live with myself knowing that he hated my guts.
   There was also something about being near death that made you remember all those times in your life that you’d done something unforgivable. I started to think of Alistair, wondering what must have happened to him after my freak out accident. Had he wandered off the woods too? Did he live? Did he make it to a village that would have him? Those were some things I accepted I would never know.
   My chest hurt when I heaved it took a deep breath, and I found it hard to figure out where things were because the tree canopies had blocked out the moonlight.
   I shivered when my face came in contact with snow as I turned. My arm and leg burned with pain, but I could at least now feel the raised root branch I had tripped on when running.
   Some time passed, and I thought of Marie and wondered if she would be worried about me. I wondered if Lord Evenus was looking for me, but I doubted that. He thought I had gone back to my room, and I was sure he has other things on his mind to think about at the moment. Maybe one of the gatemen I ran past had woken up to the sound of my hurrying feet, but maybe they also ignored it—thinking it was a fox or a wolf in the distance.
   Wolves.
   My heart started to pump faster, and the sound flooded my ears. I had somehow forgotten that these were the forests Lord Evenus and I went hunting in a lot. They had wolves, bears, and foxes. Snakes were rare, but it was unwise to cross them out.
   The blowing wind sent a chill up my spine and rustled the leaves. An owl hooted in the distance. My ears were suddenly focused on the sounds around me. Paranoia confused me and every rustle in the distance was a potential animal willing to rip me to shreds. I knew I was bleeding—the way my breeches stuck to my injured leg was enough to tell me that. The animals could smell blood. It was fall, and they were probably hungry from the lack of prey in the area now.
   All thoughts were confirmed by the low bark so heard in the distance. There was a howl, and then the sound of approaching footsteps. I let out a sigh, preparing myself to die. I had thought of praying one last time, but I didn’t feel like I deserved any grace—from God or from Bennett.
   I shook, spotting green and yellow canine eyes in the distance. One, two, three of them. I sucked in my bottom lip, trying not to make a sound as I tried to remain as quiet as possible. They could smell me. It was useless, but anything to make me calm down I supposed.
   One of them approached me, and I started to sob in silence, shaking like a leaf as I waited for the animal to finish me off.
   As it got closer, I shut my eyes, but instead of sharp pain caused my canine teeth buried in my skin, the sound of a gunshot rang through the air. The wolves were whining. One of them probably got hit. I opened my eyes to be greeted by the flood of red-orange lamplight as well as the back of red wolves retreating to the distance. A human was here, but I didn’t have the energy to turn and see them.
   There was the sound of footsteps as the light got brighter. A dog barked, and I could hear a faint voice.
   “Manfred.”
   I choked on the sobs that left me when I heard Lord Evenus’ voice. He had come looking for me.
   “Manfred, we have to get you out of here. I brought my horse, but I had to leave it a distance away,” he said as he came into my view. He was in breeches and a shirt that was hidden under a coat. His gun was attached to a sling holder that he had strapped across his chest.
   I tried to say something, but I could only heave and cry. He dropped his lap on the floor, kneeling beside me before pressing a hand to my face.
   “You’re cold,” he said, before looking over at the snow stained with blood that I hadn’t been able to see in the darkness. “You’re bleeding.”
   “We have to get you out of here,” he muttered, walking to my side before lifting me in his hands. He managed to get me balanced on one arm, before bending to grab the lamp.
   The walk to the horse was slow and quiet aside from the sound of the wind and Evenus’ boats crunching the snow under their soles.
   “Why did you run away?” Lord Evenus asked suddenly. My head was numb, and my lips felt too heavy to lift, so I didn’t say anything in response. “I was already having a hard time since you found Sawyer, and you go to do this? I can’t lose the both of you,” Lord Evenus said, continuing the one-sided conversation with himself.
   When we got to Lord Evenus’ horse, he tried to sit me upright, but I let out a cry, so he found a way to hold me still until he could climb up with me. He cradled me to his chest, taking the reins and riding as fast as he could in the direction of the castle. Troy ran beside the horse, barking and panting as we moved. Some of raising ground on the road made the horse bump, which sent waves of pain through me, but I knew what Evenus was doing. The longer I was out in the cold, the more likely I would catch something.
   When we reached the gates, I heard people murmuring, and when the Lord brought his horse to a stop at the stables, I could hear a servant in the distance.
“Should I send a message to Axminster castle?”
“Yes, make a request for Fredrick,” Lord Evenus said, cradling me to his chest. I could hear his heart beating, and the warmth from his coat was warming up my face.
   My eyes fluttered shut after that, and the next time I woke up I was laying in one of the guest room beds in a white nightshirt. I squinted, feeling odd to be in a room flooded in candlelight when I had been in pitch darkness for at least a few hours. I strained my ears when I picked up Marie’s voice from outside the door.
   “I hope the boy is not hurt?”
   “He has a deep wound on his leg, and has been out in the cold for hours,” Lord Evenus said. “I wish I had checked for him earlier. I went to look to see if he was in his room, and that’s when I noticed he was gone,” he added.
   He came to look for me. I frowned a bit, wondering what he had wanted to talk about as my eyes blurred. I winched, feeling my head pound with pain.
   The door creaked open when my eyes were shut. I opened them just in time to see Evenus closed it behind him. He looked exhausted. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were tired and droopy.
   He gave me a small smile when he noticed I was awake before walking over to stand beside the bed. He pulled a stool, taking a seat beside me. For the next few minutes, he stared down at me, observing as my eyes would flutter open and close.
   “I called Fredrick,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees before folding his hands and resting his head on them. “He should be here in the next day or two, so hold on,” he muttered, reaching out to brush hair out of my face.
   “Manfred,” he started, taking his hand away. He sighed, looking past me and towards the wall. “When we started getting close, I started thinking that maybe one day I’d be able to bury Sawyer…” he trailed, and I watched as a mix of emotions pulled in his eyes.
“It’s been over a decade, and for the first time I was considering it…” he mumbled, looking down at my face before reaching to touch my lip. “I needed time to make that decision and felt that I would tell you when I was closer to doing that instead of making you wait on me.”
   My eyes clouded with tears, and I blinked, feeling it trickle down my cheek.
   “I didn’t know that being in the dark hurt you so much. I should have known,” he said, reaching to hold on to my free hand.
   “It’s still going to take a while for me to bury Sawyer,” Lord Evenus said. “So, if I can be a bit selfish, would you wait?”
   I croaked, “yes.” I heaved, feeling how slushy my chest was. I think I might have gotten a cold, or pneumonia if I was unlucky.
   “Thank you,” Lord Evenus said, squeezing my hand. We sat in silence for a while.
   “Evenus,” I muttered, and he hummed, rubbing my knuckles with the base of his thumb. My head buzzed with sentences I wanted to say, but I only managed the ones I had told him in the drawing-room. “I’m sorry.”
   He smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to my temple. “It’s okay.”
   With his words, I felt comfortable enough to sleep, my mind still swimming with memories from that night.Â
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