Atlas POV
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The chatter at the table didn’t seem as friendly anymore. Sure, it still made me happy, but kind of sad too, maybe wistful. I think I wanted to be a part of that. Even though- no. I can’t go into that anymore.
The fresh scars from last night had been cleaned and bandaged, but it was everything I could do to clear my mind. The familiar sound of Magnus clapping his hands made me raise my head as he told us all to clear our plates and head upstairs.
He watched my reaction as he asked to clear our plates, and I looked down at my still full plate. I still hadn’t eat a lot, and I could tell it was bothering him. Sometimes I just wasn’t hungry. Sometimes I just forgot to eat.
But most of the time, I didn’t want to deal with the memories. Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I dressed in some baggy jeans and a sweatshirt, not being bothered to put in too much effort. I zoned out while we were in the car, only snapping out of my daze as we pulled up.
“Come Atlas,” Niko called, and I felt my heart flutter at his joyful expression. Half the guys were basically bouncing up and down with excitement as Magnus led us to the entrance.
“Sorry. We haven’t been in a while,” Colten murmured, and I nodded in response, keeping my face blank. I didn’t really want to be near crowds of people, much less have to interact with them.
My eyes dimmed as they hit the bright lights of the food court. It was too loud in here. “Alright. Where does everyone want to go?” Magnus began, and Cyrus began calling out to go to a clothing store.
Magnus laughed. “Of course. Who’s going with?” He asked, and Riftyn quickly volunteered, nudging Ever as well. “Alright. Atlas, you want to go to?” He asked, and I blinked, not expecting to be included in the discussion.
Ever nodded vigorously. “Of course, he does!” He smiled, and went to grab my hand to pull me along, before stopping himself. I sighed, before nodding and following after them. “So. Where exactly are we going?” Cyr asked, and Riftyn smirked, glancing down at him.
“I don’t know, I would rather like to see you in some panties~” he began, before Ever nudged him in the side, sending a quick glance my way. I stared at them, confused. Sure, I had noticed they were closer than usual, and Colten and Ever kissing earlier… wait.
Colten and Ever kissing? I don’t think I had fully processed that. What. Where they- where all of them-? I shook the thought from my head. I was at the mall. I didn’t want to confuse myself even more.
I’ll think about this later. We decided to set off in the direction of one of Ever’s favourite stores, and I sort of just tailed behind. I watched as they all wandered around the store, occasionally calling each other over to look at something, before I noticed Riftyn walking over.
“So, Magnus said we had to get you some new outfits,” he began, before holding up some sweatpants and jeans. “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just got you some basic pants…?”
At this point, Cyr had come over as well, and held up and long-sleeved shirt, with a sweater vest. To be honest, the clothes they had brought over had actually been kinda cool. I nodded slowly, and took the clothes they pressed into my hands.
I went over to the change rooms, and slowly took off the sweatshirt, not wanting to disturb the bandages. I sucked in a breath when I saw myself in the mirror. I don’t think I had seen myself clearly for a while. My eyes scanned up and down my body. I was… in good shape. But the scars kept distracting me, and I felt my eyes water as I looked.
As I looked at the damage that my family caused. As I looked at the damage that would be stuck with me. I was going to be underweight soon anyway. I wouldn’t have any more muscles, that I worked so hard to get.
I had gone a couple of times to the gym at the house, but if you don’t eat food, it becomes very difficult to get muscles and stay fit. Mhm. I didn’t want to look at my body anymore.
As I reached over to pick up the shirt, I heard a sound just outside the curtain. I looked over to see Cyr poking his head through. My eyes went wide, and I quickly pulled him inside. “Wha- Ah- Sorry!”
“Shush. Don’t say anything.” I told him, voice low, as my eyes frantically searched the curtain for anyone else. His eyes scanned up and down my body, a small blush rising on his cheeks, before he realised what he was doing.
“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to-” Cyr looked like he was about to start crying so I pulled him into my chest wrapping my arms around him. “Hey, hey, its alright. I know you didn’t mean to” I whispered, feeling the warmth of him comforting.
“Wha- what happened to you?” Cyr looked up at me with wide eyes, and I looked away. “You can’t tell anyone about anything that happened. Or what you saw” I demanded, and he began to protest.
“But-“
I glared at him. “Not a word” He shivered at my tone, before slipping out of my arms, and leaving the room. I sighed. This wasn’t going to turn out well.
He would tell the others at some point. I had just better hope that’s not soon.
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