Grayson’s POV
The neighborhood was extensive and winding, practically begging for someone to get lost within the maze of houses. It’s beautiful though. It was the same concept as my home pack yet it looked nothing alike. The neighborhood was made up of cabin’s and cottage’s that gave off more of a woodsy-nature vibe.
The pack was located in a huge clearing in the mountains and it was oddly relaxing. It was nothing like Oregon. I was used to the rush of city life and constantly hearing the sounds of the city. Here, it was quiet. The insects were chirping and while there were modernized noises, they were more muted and spread out.
The weather was cold and overcast but Lukas said that it was actually a lot warmer than it usually was at this time of the year. It was still cold though but not cold enough for coats, Lukas’ crewneck and sweats that I was wearing provided enough warmth for a short walk.
We passed a few other couples and little children along the way and of course people had to look twice at me. I hated it. It was like I was this new shiny thing that everyone couldn’t wait to lay their eyes on.
People smiled and waved and Lukas kindly returned the gesture. I nodded at them and stuck close to Lukas’ side. I hate to say it but it made me feel protected, just standing next to him. I didn’t like how I felt like I was being analyzed and judged.
They all had an idea of who they wanted their second leader to be and now that I am here, they are all going to compare who I actually am to their vision of me inside their head.
I sure as hell do not match that vision.
“I’m sorry about everyone looking at you. They’re just interested in who their second Alpha is. They are also probably a bit surprised you’re an Alpha and not a Luna.” Lukas explained sheepishly and I raised my eyebrows at him.
“You’re into girls?”
I just assumed he was gay from the start since he wanted me as his mate so badly. He didn’t even fight the idea that we were both boys. He accepted it immediately.
“Not really? I wasn’t really into anyone. I dated one girl when I was 17 so I guess everyone just assumed I was straight. I never really expressed tons of feelings other than that though.” He explained and a pit of burning jealousy latched in my stomach.
I’m not jealous though. I don’t give two fucks about what Lukas has done. Hopefully he runs back to her and leaves me alone.
But he had feelings for her.
“But now, I am fully into you and you alone.” Lukas smirked and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I shrugged his arm off and scoffed.
I stared at the ground as I walked. Extra heat pooled in my cheeks and some traveled downwards. I scowled at my bodies reaction to his words. I can’t even decide for myself how I want to react, the mate bond forces a reaction.
“Well, shove off. I don’t want you to be into me.” I grumbled and kept my gaze low. I focused on not stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk and got distracted with the task.
“I’m growing to like your stubbornness. I think it’s interesting how you respond versus how you feel. If only you could make the two sides align.” Lukas mused and he glanced down at me.
“Trust me, I wish my body hated you too.” I grumbled, accidentally stepping on a crack and restarting my score.
To my demise (and sadly my pleasure) Lukas chuckled, “Not what I meant, sweetheart, but glad to know some part of you is attracted to me.”
I grimaced as we walked. My back was starting to ache and I wanted to go back to sleep but I also didn’t want to go back to sleep because then my stupid body likes to get all close and touchy with Lukas. Then I have stupid dreams and then I feel stupid when I wake up and find myself enjoying his touch.
Fuck my life.
The sun was setting quickly and the temperature was was starting to drop as well and I was starting to shiver.
“We’re almost back. The path we took is a full circle we’re about to hit my home again.” Lukas commented, eyeing my shivering. “When we get back I want you to eat some real food then you’re free to go back to sleep. No screens though, it’s not good for your head.”
I rolled my eyes and shrugged. I’m sure as hell getting on my phone. I got hoes to text.
“I want Mac and Cheese.” I demanded and Lukas glanced at me.
“How about a healthier option?” He suggested. “Something with a protein? Or a vegetable?”
“No. I want Mac and Cheese from a box or I’m not eating.” I stated.
“Oh, you’re eating. It wasn’t an option. I’ll make you Mac and Cheese.” Lukas sighed and led my up the driveway and into the house.
“Go get showered and changed and come back down. You can take anything you want from my closet.” Lukas instructed as he headed off into the kitchen and I scoffed. Who does he think he is telling me what to do?
I headed up the stairs and pulled my phone out of my pocket. As much as I hated it, I followed Lukas’ instructions to a tee and hopped in the shower. The hot water felt glorious on my skin and helped soothe the ache. I washed my hair and body and then just let myself stand under the water.
Thoughts ran a hundred miles a minute through my head as I replayed the layout of the neighborhood in my head again. It was complicated, but if I just headed in one direction for a while I’d eventually hit the border and then I can figure it out from there.
I grimaced when I remembered the pack is located in the mountains. Guess I’m going on a little hike. I’ll be in my wolf form however do it so it shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m home free once I find a city.
My scheming was interrupted by knock on the door and it creeping open just a crack.
“You good in there, Gray? You’ve been in there awhile.” Lukas asked.
“I’m fine! Stop trying to look in on me naked!” I yelled. The shower was made of glass so if he walked in he’d definitely have a view.
“Just making sure you didn’t pass out in the shower, sweetheart.” He sighed and closed the door all the way again.
I finished my shower and dried off with a towel. I was then hit with the realization that I forgot to bring clothes in here with me so I would have to walk all the way to the closet in a towel.
I scowled as I wrapped the towel around my waist and looked in the mirror quickly. Almost all my scars were openly on display and an uneasy feeling filled my body. I don’t want him to see them. I don’t even want to see them.
I slowly opened the door and popped my head out. Lukas was sitting in one of the armchairs, looking at his laptop and talking on the phone. He was saying shit about stocks, the market, business stuff, and a whole lot of stuff I didn’t care about.
He glanced over at me and raised his eyebrows in question.
“I need clothes.” I stated and he pointed towards the stairs that led to his closet. He responded again to the person on the phone as I eyed the stairs. I don’t want to walk out and let Lukas see my marked body.
“Can you get them?” I asked and he shook his head. He pointed at the phone pressed again his ear and then down at his laptop. He mouthed a ‘sorry’ and responded once more to the man on the phone.
I scowled as I braced myself and stepped outside the bathroom. I quickly made my way towards and up the stairs, Lukas’ eyes practically burning into my skin.
Humiliation flooded my body as I dropped the towel and started to dress. I took the first clothes I could get my hands on and quickly concealed my body. I wore boxers, black sweats, and a purple hoodie. I found white nike socks and put those on as well.
I quietly slipped back down the stairs and didn’t even meet Lukas’ eyes as I left the room and headed down to the kitchen. A bowl of Mac and Cheese sat on the counter as well as a cup of water.
I felt void as I ate and gulped down the water. I set my dishes in the sink and turned to the fridge. I wanted nothing more than to drown my shame in liquor. I longed to feel drunk and carefree.
The fridge held nothing so I moved on to the freezer and then the cabinets. Nothing. Is this guy a prude? Not even a single drop?
“You’re not going to find what you’re looking for.” Lukas’ voice startled me from the doorway. His gaze was unreadable as he watched me.
“I hid it all for your safety. Do you need anything else before you go to bed.” He asked and then added, “Anything legal.”
“You don’t get to determine my safety.” I scowled.
Lukas raised his eyebrows, “As a matter of fact, I do. I am solely in charge of you and trust me I am not going to just let you fuck up your body because you want to. I’ll give you a lot of things you want, just not the things that will harm you. I know I can’t stop you completely and you will get your hands on it one way or another but your body is trying to heal right now and you don’t need to be screwing with that process.”
Anger flooded my body as he told me what I could and could not do with my own body. Before I could even respond though, Lukas cut me off.
“You’ve been up for while, finish getting ready for bed and I want you tucked in by the end of the hour.”
He left no room for negotiation as he headed back up the stairs and I stared as he left. I slammed a cabinet shut in anger and pulled open the fridge.
He really thinks he’s tough shit, telling me what to do and when to do things. He may be my “guardian” but I have escaped from one before and I can do it again. I grabbed a pack of baby carrots from the fridge and bit into one.
The last thing I was going to do was return back upstairs were Lukas was awaiting me. I found my way to the living room and collected pillows and blankets and laid on the couch. I found the remote and turned on a movie. I knew Lukas could hear it playing and that gave me a slight bit of joy, knowing I was going against his orders.
I pulled out my phone and texted some friends back, leaving a majority on delivered. I snacked on my carrots as my eyes grew heavy and I could barely keep them open.
I let my eyes rest for a second too long and before I could help it, I was out.
*****
Warm, tingling arms slipped under my legs and back as I was gently pulled up from the couch and into someone’s chest.
“Your protest doesn’t look to comfortable, love.”
The heartbeat was soft and soothing while my body was softly swayed by the movement of being transported.
My body was set gently on the bed and fingers that spent warm sparks into my skin moved delicately up the side of my face and pushed my hair out of my closed eyes.
“You’re so beautiful, even if you fail to see it yourself. Sleep well, sweetheart.”
Lips gently touched my forehead and my consciousness faded once again.
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