Grayson’s POV
Waking up was odd considering I don’t remember falling asleep. I don’t remember where I fell asleep or when. I don’t know who I was with or if I was alone.
Waking up cuddled into Alpha Lukas’ chest however, was definitely not the last place I was and I definitely didn’t come to this position on my own.
At first, I just heard a thumping sound. It was steady and firm and it was coming from below my head. I didn’t think much of it but it was a nice sound and oddly comforting so I continued to sleep.
I was also oddly warm. Not the fever warm I’ve been feeling, but a nice warmness. The heat wasn’t overtaking me but I wasn’t cold or wishing for a blanket. Another reason to keep sleeping.
Not to mention I was still tired. Who knew throwing up continuously could wear someone out?
A hand rubbed up and down my back under my shirt softly, sometimes pausing on my lower back, lolling me to sleep.
To summarize, I was warm, sleepy, and comforted so what better reasons do I need to go back to sleep? Exactly none.
Until I realized a hand was rubbing my back.
I shot up. That was not a good idea though because my vision darkened around the edges and there was a slight ringing in my ears.
The hands grabbed my sides to steady me and they stayed there as I let my vision clear and hearing return.
The hands glided up and down my sides above my shirt. One hand got caught up on my shirt on the way up and sparks flew across my skin upon contact.
Lukas and his touchy little hands. Well, he doesn’t actually have little hands. They are actually quite large. They weren’t rough hands though, they were soft as if they were made of silk and his fingertips held thousands of sparking, waiting to go off as soon as they contacted my skin.
“What the fuck—” I started but was cut of my Lukas suddenly flipping me over onto my back as he towered over me, his fierce dark eyes staring into my light blue one’s.
“We’re going to have a civil conversation and you’re going to sit nicely and cooperate. I am going to let you go and let you sit up but if you even make the slightest move to leave, we’ll end up back in this position but add a little bit of restraints and as enticing that is, you don’t want that. Do you pretty boy?”
My dick twitched at the nickname. What the actual fuck I am in no way attracted to this man and want nothing from him. I only like girls. It’s just my stupid teenage hormones extra heightened because I’m a werewolf. And
I was a bit insulted by the nickname, I can’t be “pretty” because boys aren’t pretty. Pretty is what you call girls.
“Don’t call me “pretty” I’m a boy if you haven’t fucking noticed. I don’t think you have because you keep trying to get with me. And restraints? What are you a serial killer?” Words flew past my lips without thought and the man hovering above my face smirked.
“Oh sweet boy, I have noticed that you’re a boy. I’ve also noticed how a certain boy part has been reacting to my touch and even my words.” He chuckled and my face burned, starting at my neck and ending at my ears. “As for the restraints, I’m sure you’ll enjoy them in the future.” He winked and got off of me, pulling me up.
“Sit still and let’s talk.” He demanded as he got on his phone for a second. All the lights in the room flicked on automatically and I had to blink at the adjustment. “Tell me how you’re feeling. What emotions are you feeling? What are your thoughts?”
“What is this? Therapy?” I snorted.
“No Grayson, this is how you communicate. Now tell me, what’s going on in that little head of yours?” He added an edge on his words, an edge that gave of the message, “we’re talking about this wether you like it or not.”
“I don’t want a mate.” I stated simply.
It’s true, I don’t want someone I’m supposed to automatically love. I don’t want to drop everyone else just for them and I don’t want to spend every moment with them. I don’t want to tell them my problems and I don’t want to be burdened with theirs.
I don’t want to be with a controlling Alpha who has too much power that they don’t deserve. One who thinks they can control my decisions. Especially one that is 6 years older then me. That can’t be legal right? A minor with an adult? I don’t know much about werewolf law but I don’t need too. I’m not going to be with this man period.
He probably thinks he’s the shit. He thinks that sense he’s older he has his life together and knows better than I do. I bet he’ll probably try to change my habits, he already knows I drink and I fucking love sex, but only with girls.
He doesn’t know shit about what’s good for me and I’m not letting him control me. I’m not going to be his nice little submissive mate that he can show off to all his alpha friends and morph me into someone I’m not.
“Well that’s tough considering you have one now.” He retorted and I rolled my eyes. Not for long buddy. Give me the chance and I’ll be gone but you won’t find me next time.
“Look Grayson. I know you’re scared. Is it my age that’s scary or the idea of commitment? Are you scared of the Alpha title? What are you scared of?” His questions were like knives piercing my skin, much different than the tingly sparks that’s still lingered on my sides.
“I’m not scared of you. You don’t scare me. You’re stupid Alpha title doesn’t scare me. You don’t get that control over me so does that worry you?” The words slid out of my mouth without any thought behind him as my rant started.
“I’m not scared of commitment. I just don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to be with some older man that thinks he’s the shit and wants a pretty little mate to show off. I don’t want my life to be dictated and ran the way many alpha’s do. I’m happiest alone with no ties to anyone and able to break things off at any time.
Don’t you think it’s odd? You’re 21 and I’m 15. There’s no way that’s legal or okay. I don’t want forced into anything just because your an Alpha and think you can do whatever you want to your weak little minor mate. You’re not in charge of me and I don’t want to be mates.”
My rant ended and the room sat silent for a few moments. Lukas’ face held a little bit of hurt and sadness but no traces of anger.
Why should he be hurt? It’s not like this affects him in any way. He can pull any girl he wants that will look nice and pretty on his rather muscle-y arm. Or guy since it seems he swings that way.
“Grayson, I don’t want to force you into anything. I’m not that guy. I want you to be happy. I don’t want to dictate your life or have control over you. You have some habits that I don’t like but we can talk that out and handle it together. I’m not worried that you’re not scared of me because you shouldn’t be. I never want you to be scared of me. I don’t want a “pretty little mate” to show off. I want someone to love and take care of and to be there for when they need it or just because.
Don’t stereotype me into what everyone thinks alpha’s are because it’s very far from the truth. I’m not like that and you’ll learn that with time and a lot of other alpha’s aren’t like that either. Overall, just give me a chance. Please Gray. I can prove to you I’m better than you think I am.”
His eyes were begging and sad and made my heart ache and head heart. I don’t like this feeling. Why am I feeling this? I don’t want this.
“Also, our mating isn’t illegal. Of course, it has restriction’s because you are a minor and I am an adult but we can still have a relationship. You aren’t the age of consent yet which is 16 in werewolf law so none of that and of course nothing that you don’t want and that you’re not comfortable with. Marking is still fair game but obviously only if you want it.”
He explained slowly and my head felt heavy as it filled with stress and thoughts. My mouth no longer wanted for force words and I honestly didn’t know what to say. A flash of nausea hit my stomach and I held it down with a gulp.
He says he doesn’t want to hurt me. He says he cares for me. He says that he doesn’t want to force me. But who says he’s telling the truth? There’s no way to prove it. That what they always do, gain your trust just to tear it down. I don’t want to feel that pain again. It hurts so fucking bad.
“You’re still feeling the affects of your little stunt the other night and this conversation is adding stress to your mind and body. The only way for you to heal it to constantly be touching me and talking to me. You also need to sleep it off, sweet boy. Please lay back down and let me hold you while you sleep. Your health is my top priority and I want to see you get well.”
I didn’t make a move and after a few seconds his hands gently grabbed my arms and I jerked away. “Don’t touch me.”
He nodded and respected my order and laid down himself. He laid his arm out, silently inviting me to lay against his chest. “You need to heal, Sweetie, so please lay down.” He said in a soft voice that made my insides feel warm and fuzzy. I don’t want to be sick anymore but I don’t want to willingly lay on him. I don’t like this.
I was conflicted and my mind was racing a million miles a minute and it felt like I wasn’t even in my own body any more. It’s like I’m just watching from afar and that this isn’t my life.
I slowly laid down next to the alpha I am yet to trust and slowly laid my head on his chest. What am I doing? What if he does something once I fall asleep? Why if he drugs me? What if he takes advantage of me? What if—
“You’re overthinking, Grayson. Please rest. You’re completely safe and you’ll be in the exact same position when you wake up, I promise. ” His soft voice whispered in my ear. Do I listen? What if he punishes me? What if—
“Sleep.” He whispered as he turned off all the lights from his phone and rubbed patterns into my arm, letting the sparks coax me to sleep with their positive effects.
hey y’all
long chapter but idk if it makes sense or is any good cuz i am half asleep writing this because i don’t have time during the day. i hope y’all enjoy anyways
i’m trying not to rush the character development but like i wanna get to the good parts ughhhh
ofc give me feedback and advice pretty pretty please loves <333
i hope y’all have a wonderful day or night and thanksgiving break if you’re american
i’m thankful for each and every one of you <3
bye babes
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