The dawn had barely broken when I woke, the sky outside still a deep shade of indigo. The stars were fading slowly, the first light of the day peeking hesitantly over the horizon, but the world remained cloaked in the quiet stillness of night. It should have been peaceful, an early morning where I could breathe, think, and prepare for the day ahead.
But then the scent hit me. Lucian.
I inhaled deeply, my body reacting instinctively to the intoxicating fragrance that filled the air. His scent was warm and sweet, something that had embedded itself into my very bones, and yet every time I caught it, it sent a surge of desire through me. My heart pounded in my chest as I turned over, my gaze falling upon him, curled up beside me, his body tucked close against mine.
For the first time since our marriage, I held him.
Really held him. His body fit against me perfectly, the soft curve of his back pressing into my chest, the steady rise and fall of his breath slow and deep as he slept. It was a moment of quiet, of stillness, something I hadn’t realized I had needed until now.
I could feel his warmth against my skin, the way his body molded to mine, and it ignited something deep within me, something primal, fierce, and protective.
My hand rested on his waist, and I could feel the softness of his skin beneath my fingers, the way his body seemed to respond to my touch even in sleep. I didn’t dare move, didn’t want to disturb the fragile peace of the moment. But the scent…
Gods, his scent was overwhelming. It filled the room, heavy and sweet, wrapping around me like a fog, making it difficult to think of anything else.
I knew what it meant. Another wave of his heat was coming, and soon.
I clenched my jaw, fighting to maintain control. It had been a long night. Lucian’s heat had hit him hard, harder than I had anticipated. His body had trembled, his skin flushed and burning as he fought against the overwhelming need coursing through him. He had whimpered, clung to me, desperate for relief, and it had taken everything in me not to give in, not to let myself fall into the same haze of desire that consumed him.
I’d spent hours calming him down, whispering reassurances, holding him through the worst of it.
His pheromones had done nothing to help. If anything, they had made it harder, harder to resist, harder to think clearly. Every instinct in me screamed to take him, to give him what he needed, but I couldn’t. Not like this. Not when he was so vulnerable, so raw. He deserved better than that.
But it had nearly broken me.
And now, lying here, with his scent thick in the air, his soft body curled against mine, I could feel my restraint slipping again. Another wave of his heat was on its way, and this time… this time, I didn’t trust myself to hold back.
I shifted carefully, trying not to wake him as I disentangled myself from his warm embrace. My body screamed at the loss of contact, my skin burning where it had touched his, but I forced myself to move, to pull away. I had to leave before the next wave hit. If I didn’t, I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself.
Sliding out of bed, I glanced back at Lucian, still sleeping soundly, his face peaceful in the dim light. He looked so vulnerable, so beautiful, and the thought of leaving him even for a few moments, tugged at something deep within me.
But I couldn’t stay. Not when I was teetering on the edge of losing control.
I called for Ben, my voice low to avoid waking Lucian, and within minutes, he appeared, his face calm but knowing. Ben had been with me long enough to understand the situation without needing any further explanation. He had already prepared another chamber for me, far enough away that Lucian’s scent wouldn’t reach me, where I could gather myself and find some measure of peace.
“Keep an eye on him,” I told Ben quietly as I pulled on a robe, my gaze lingering on Lucian’s sleeping form. “Make sure he’s comfortable. I’ll return once… once things have settled.”
Ben nodded, his expression sympathetic. “Of course, Your Highness.”
Ileft the room without another word, my footsteps soft as I moved through the corridors. The air was cooler here, fresher, and I inhaled deeply, trying to rid myself of the haze that clung to me, the lingering scent of Lucian still teasing my senses. It took every ounce of willpower I had to walk away, to not turn back and lose myself in him completely.
Once I reached the chamber Ben had prepared, I collapsed onto the bed, my body thrumming with the aftereffects of the night. I closed my eyes, willing myself to calm, to push the thoughts of Lucian from my mind, but it was impossible. His image filled my head his soft body pressed against mine, the way he had looked at me with those wide, desperate eyes, the way his lips had parted in a soft whimper as I’d held him.
I groaned, burying my face in my hands as I tried to clear my thoughts. This was going to be harder than I had anticipated. Eventually, exhaustion overtook me, and I managed to fall into a restless sleep. When I woke again, it was late morning. The sun had risen fully, its light streaming through the windows, but I felt no peace. Lucian was still on my mind, his scent still lingering in my thoughts, and I knew I had to distract myself. If I let myself dwell on him for too long, I’d go mad.
I dressed quickly, deciding to take breakfast in the dining hall. When I arrived, my parents were already seated, speaking quietly with each other, but they looked up when I entered. My mother’s eyes softened when she saw me, her gaze lingering on my face as if she could read the exhaustion in my features.
“You look tired, Aleron,” she said gently. “Is everything alright?”
I nodded, forcing a smile. “Just a long night,” I replied, keeping my tone casual. “Lucian… isn’t feeling well. His heat is hitting him hard.”
My father’s brow furrowed, his expression shifting from curiosity to concern. “Is there anything we can do?”
“No,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “Ben is keeping an eye on him. He just needs time. I’ll be with him later.”
I didn’t miss the way my mother’s lips pressed into a thin line, her eyes flickering with understanding.
She didn’t say anything more, but I knew she understood the weight of the situation-knew how difficult it must have been for me to leave Lucian behind.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur. I attended meetings, went over reports, and spoke with several officials about the rising tensions in the western territories. There were matters that required my attention, decisions that needed to be made, but no matter how hard I tried to focus, my thoughts kept drifting back to Lucian.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him, about the way his body had felt in my arms, the soft curve of his waist, the warmth of his skin. His face, so beautiful and serene in sleep, was etched into my mind, and no matter how hard I tried to push the thoughts away, they kept coming back.
Even in the middle of the board meeting, as I discussed trade routes and border disputes, my mind wandered back to Lucian’s soft lips, his quiet sighs, the way his body had trembled against mine during the night. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and it took everything in me not to leave the meeting and return to his side.
But I had responsibilities. I couldn’t afford to let my mind wander, not with so much at stake. The western territories were becoming increasingly volatile, and if I didn’t act soon, we risked losing control. I forced myself to focus, to push thoughts of Lucian aside as I addressed the council, but it was difficult. Every moment felt like a struggle, a battle between my duty and my desire.
By the time the meeting ended, the weight of the day had settled heavily on my shoulders. I was exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally and all I wanted was to return to Lucian, to make sure he was alright. But I couldn’t. Not yet.
There were still matters to tend to, and until they were handled, I couldn’t allow myself the luxury of returning to him.
But had responsibilities. I couldn’t afford to let my mind wander, not with so much at stake. The western territories were becoming increasingly volatile, and if I didn’t act soon, we risked losing control. I forced myself to focus, to push thoughts of Lucian aside as I addressed the council, but it was difficult. Every moment felt like a struggle, a battle between my duty and my desire.
By the time the meeting ended, the weight of the day had settled heavily on my shoulders. I was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally and all I wanted was to return to Lucian, to make sure he was alright. But I couldn’t. Not yet.
There were still matters to tend to, and until they were handled, I couldn’t allow myself the luxury of returning to him.
But as the day dragged on, one thought remained constant; Lucian. His scent, his touch, the way he had looked at me with those soft, vulnerable eyes.
I couldn’t escape him, and deep down, I didn’t want to.
Lucian was mine. And no matter how hard the day pressed on, I knew that soon enough, I would return to his side. Where I belonged.
– – –
The next few days were difficult, more for Lucian than for me, but in a way, I was fighting a different battle. Lucian’s heat had fully consumed him, his body writhing with the need for relief, and no matter how much I wanted to be there, I knew that keeping my distance was for the best. He needed time to get through this, to regain control over himself, and I needed time to think.
In those quiet moments of separation, I found myself reflecting on my own actions something I’d rarely done before. Truth be told, I’d always been the one in control, the one who commanded the attention and respect of those around me. My word was law, and people bent to my will without question. But Lucian was different.
He wasn’t someone who would simply yield to me, and that had been a hard lesson to swallow. He was strong, feisty even, and he knew what was right for him. I’d tried to mold him, tried to control him in subtle ways, but now I could see it for what it was. I had been trying to make him submit, expecting him to follow my every command, to listen to my whims without question.
But that wasn’t who Lucian was. He wasn’t someone to be controlled. He was my husband, my equal, and I hadn’t been treating him as such. I had made things more difficult for him, even if I hadn’t meant to. He’d frustrated me, pushed against my expectations, and instead of understanding him, I’d been annoyed.
The truth was, Lucian annoyed me because he was everything I wasn’t used to. Independent. Headstrong. He knew his own mind, and that had thrown me off balance. I wasn’t used to someone who wouldn’t bend to my will. But that didn’t mean he was wrong. I had to remind myself of that.
The days of his heat dragged on, and each time I caught a whiff of his scent lingering in the halls or when Ben came with updates, I felt the tug of desire. I knew he was fighting through it, and though I couldn’t be with him, it pained me to think of what he was enduring alone.
On the fourth day, I was informed that Lucian’s heat had finally passed. Relief washed over me, but I also felt a sense of guilt. I hadn’t been there for him during his most vulnerable moments, and though I knew it was for the best, a part of me wished I could have stayed by his side.
A day later, after giving him some time to recover, I made my way back to our shared chambers. The late afternoon sun filtered through the drapes, casting a soft golden light across the room. The air was warm, the quiet hum of the castle settling into the background as I stood in the doorway, my eyes immediately finding Lucian.
He lay on the bed, his slim figure half-hidden beneath the soft blankets. The sunlight caught his pale skin, giving it an almost ethereal glow. His milk-white complexion seemed to shimmer, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. He looked angelic, his body still and serene, the lines of his frame delicate yet strong. His red eyes gleamed from the shadows of the room, catching the light in a way that made them burn like embers against the coolness of his skin.
I stood there for a moment, simply taking in the sight of him. His face was as beautiful as ever, sharp, yet soft in its own way. His features were handsome, almost painfully so, with high cheekbones and full lips that seemed to part slightly as he lay there, lost in thought. His hair, dark and tousled from sleep, fell in loose waves around his face, framing him perfectly. Every inch of him seemed carefully crafted, a balance of strength and beauty.
His body was slight, but there was a quiet power in the way he carried himself, even now. The curve of his waist, the soft dip of his hips under the sheets, the way his chest rose and fell steadily it all spoke of a quiet strength, a determination that had always drawn me to him. And yet, in this moment, he looked so peaceful, so untouched by the chaos of the past few days.
For a long moment, I didn’t move. I simply stood there, watching him, marveling at the way the sunlight danced across his skin, at the way his eyes shone like jewels in the dim light of the room. He was beautiful. More beautiful than I had ever allowed myself to admit.
Finally, I stepped forward, my movements careful and quiet, not wanting to disturb him. As I approached, Lucian’s eyes flicked toward me, the red gleam catching mine, and for a moment, we simply looked at each other. There was a tiredness in his gaze, a weariness from the days of struggle, but there was also something else. Something softer. Understanding, perhaps.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, my voice soft as I came to stand at the edge of the bed.
Lucian shifted slightly, the blankets rustling around him as he propped himself up on one elbow. His lips quirked into a faint smile, though there was a hint of exhaustion behind it. “Better,” he murmured, his voice a little hoarse. “Tired. But better.”
I nodded, feeling a strange sense of relief at hearing him speak. For days, I had only been able to imagine what he was going through, and now, seeing him here, looking so calm, so at peace, it eased something in me.
I sat down beside him, careful to keep some distance between us, though I wanted nothing more than to pull him into my arms, to feel the warmth of his body against mine again. But I knew he needed time. We both did.
“You look…” I trailed off, searching for the right words, my eyes tracing the soft lines of his face, the delicate curve of his jaw. “Beautiful.”
Lucian blinked, surprised by the comment, but he didn’t shy away. Instead, he let out a quiet laugh, his eyes softening as he looked at me. “I must look awful after everything.”
“You don’t,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “You look… perfect.”
His smile faded slightly, his eyes flicking to mine, and for a moment, there was a quiet understanding between us. I knew I had a long way to go to earn his trust fully, to make up for the ways I had tried to control him, but in that moment, I felt like we had taken a step forward. One small step toward finding our common ground.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” I said quietly, my gaze lingering on him for a moment longer before I looked away, not wanting to push too much, too soon.
Lucian nodded, his eyes following me as I stood. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice so soft I almost didn’t hear it.
I gave him a small smile, turning to leave, but as I did, I felt a soft hand brush against mine. I stopped, glancing down to see Lucian’s fingers curling around my wrist, holding me in place. When I looked back at him, his eyes were shining, not with heat, but with something much deeper.
“Stay?” he asked, his voice quiet, but full of meaning.
The moment Lucian’s fingers brushed against my wrist, it sent a jolt through me, an unexpected, gentle touch that pulled me from the thoughts of leaving. His fingers were slender, almost delicate, but there was a firm grip in the way he held me. His red eyes were soft, no longer filled with the fire of need from the past few days, but instead with something that ran much deeper something that left me frozen in place, unsure of how to respond.
I had spent so much time away from him during his heat, had distanced myself for his sake, and now here we were. He was asking me to stay, something he hadn’t done before, at least not like this. There was no demand in his voice, no command. Just a simple request.
I swallowed hard, nodding without a word as I slowly sat back down on the bed, this time closer to him. The sunlight spilling through the curtains painted his pale skin with a golden hue, and the way the light caught in his red eyes made them shimmer. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him, from the beauty that had always been there, but that I had failed to fully appreciate until now.
For a moment, we didn’t speak. The air between us was filled with a comfortable silence, one that seemed to stretch on for an eternity as we simply looked at each other. His hand slipped from my wrist, but the warmth of his touch lingered, and I felt something shift inside me something that hadn’t been there before.
“I’m sorry,” I found myself saying, the words slipping from my lips before I could stop them. My voice was quiet, but the weight of the apology hung in the air between us. Lucian’s eyes flicked to mine, a hint of surprise in his expression.
“For what?” he asked softly, his voice hoarse from the days of strain his body had endured. He shifted slightly, sitting up more, the blanket slipping from his shoulders to reveal the pale expanse of his chest. His body was slim, almost fragile looking in the soft light, but I knew better. Lucian was strong in ways that weren’t always visible.
“For… everything,” I said, struggling to find the right words. “For trying to control you. For not giving you the space you needed. I’ve been… I’ve been unfair to you, Lucian. I didn’t realize how much until recently.”
He blinked, his red eyes searching my face as if trying to make sense of what I was saying. His expression softened, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of relief in his gaze. But he didn’t speak, didn’t rush to respond, and I found myself growing anxious under his silence.
“I’ve been trying to control everything,” I continued, my voice growing more steady as I forced myself to keep going. “I’m used to people doing what I say, used to things going my way. And I thought… I thought I could do the same with you. That you’d fall in line like everyone else. But you’re not like that. You’re stronger than that.”
Lucian’s lips twitched into a small, almost sad smile as he looked down at his hands, his fingers tracing the edge of the blanket in his lap. “I’ve never been one to follow orders easily,” he said quietly, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. “I don’t think that’s news to you.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s not. But I didn’t handle it well. I was frustrated because you didn’t bend to me like everyone else, and instead of trying to understand you, I tried to force you to conform. And that wasn’t fair to you. You’re my husband, Lucian. You deserve better.”
Lucian was quiet for a long moment, his eyes fixed on the blanket as if deep in thought. I could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his body seemed to carry the weight of everything we had been through over the past few days. But when he finally looked up at me, there was a softness in his gaze, a quiet understanding that made my chest tighten.
“I never wanted to fight with you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I never wanted us to be at odds. But I also can’t be something I’m not. I can’t just… submit to someone who doesn’t see me for who I am.”
His words hit me harder than I expected, and I felt a pang of guilt settle deep in my chest. He was right. I hadn’t seen him, not really. I had seen what I wanted him to be, what I thought he should be, and I had tried to mold him into that. But Lucian was more than just my husband. He was his own person, with his own strength, his own will, and I had failed to acknowledge that.
“I see that now,” I said quietly, my gaze never leaving his. “I’m sorry for not seeing it sooner.”
Lucian’s lips parted as if he was going to respond, but instead, he let out a soft sigh, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he leaned back against the headboard. His red eyes glistened in the fading sunlight, and I couldn’t help but be captivated by the way the light made his pale skin glow.
For a moment, I wondered if I should reach out to him, if I should close the distance between us and offer him the comfort I had denied him for so long. But I hesitated, unsure of whether he would want that. I had spent so much time pushing him away, and now I didn’t know how to bridge the gap.
But Lucian made the first move. He reached out, his hand brushing against mine, his fingers warm and gentle as they intertwined with mine. The simple touch sent a wave of warmth through me, and I felt my breath hitch in my throat.
“I’m not angry with you,” he said softly, his eyes searching mine as if to reassure me. “I just… I want us to be partners, Aleron. Not enemies.”
His words hung in the air, and I felt the weight of them settle over me like a blanket. Partners. That’s what we were supposed to be, what we should have been from the start. But I had been too caught up in my own need for control to see it. Now, as I sat there with Lucian’s hand in mine, I realized just how much I had been missing.
“We will be,” I promised, my voice steady as I looked into his eyes. “I’ll do better, Lucian. I’ll be better for you.”
Lucian didn’t say anything in response, but the soft smile that tugged at the corners of his lips told me everything I needed to know. He believed me. Or at least, he wanted to believe me. And that was enough for now.
We sat in silence for a long time, the soft glow of the afternoon sun filling the room with warmth. Lucian’s hand remained in mine, his fingers resting lightly against my skin, and for the first time in what felt like forever, there was no tension between us. No unspoken resentment, no lingering frustration. Just… peace.
After a while, Lucian shifted slightly, leaning his head back against the pillow as his eyes fluttered shut. His breathing slowed, his body relaxing completely as the exhaustion of the past few days finally caught up with him. I watched him for a moment, taking in the sight of his peaceful face, the way his dark hair framed his features so perfectly.
Carefully, I pulled the blanket up over his body, tucking it around him to keep him warm. As I did, I couldn’t help but brush my fingers lightly against his skin, feeling the soft warmth of him beneath my touch. His pale skin was like porcelain, smooth and delicate, yet there was a strength in him that I had come to admire.
As I sat there, watching over him, I felt a strange sense of contentment settle over me. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t thinking about my duties, or the kingdom, or the constant pressures that weighed on my shoulders. All I could think about was Lucian—the way he looked, the way he felt, the way his presence seemed to fill the room with a quiet strength.
He was beautiful, there was no denying that. But it wasn’t just his appearance that captivated me. It was everything about him, his fiery spirit, his determination, the way he never backed down even when things got difficult. He was everything I hadn’t known I needed, and now that I had him, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
As the sun began to dip below the horizon, casting the room in a soft, golden glow, I leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Lucian’s forehead. He stirred slightly in his sleep, but didn’t wake, his body remaining relaxed beneath the covers.
“I’ll be here when you wake,” I whispered softly, my lips brushing against his skin as I pulled back.
And I would be. For as long as he needed me, I would be there.
For both of us.
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