Camping Trip Extra: Connor POV

This is set a few weeks after the events of the story. What’s below is only a rough draft, and I’m not going to be working on making it longer at the moment, but it’s the start of what I imagine would be Connor’s own story, where he’d be dealing with a lot of personal issues. (as you’ll see, he had a lot more going on than was explored in the story). 

(@AreXWeXReal, hope you enjoy 🙂

P.S: this wasn’t edited, so there will be mistakes. 

Connor raised an eyebrow as Aiden came in. The sounds of the party got shut out, and the lean blonde boy strode toward him. A little excitement curled in Connor’s stomach, like it usually did when he was alone with this particular boy, but he knew never to let it get any further than that. Aiden and Lucas were both crazy about each other, even if Aiden was a lot better at hiding it.

“Lucas being an idiot?”

Aiden flopped down next to Connor on the bed. The excitement turned into butterflies, and they annoyed the hell out of him. He didn’t want Aiden. Not like that. Maybe he entertained thoughts of it back at camp, and then thoughts of it at the music festival when Aiden was grinding against him, tucked between—

“No.” Aiden interrupted Connor’s train of thought. “But it’s a football celebration and Hugh’s there.” Aiden flexed his fingers out. The cast was finally gone, but he still had to wear a brace.

Connor was glad that Aiden brought Hugh up. It replaced any attraction he felt with anger. Given how smitten Lucas was, Connor couldn’t believe that he’d forgiven Hugh for hurting him. Just like that. It hadn’t even taken a week and Hugh was out of the bad books.

“And now Roma’s flirting with him all the time, and ugh, there’s something about your best friend flirting that’s just plain repulsive.” Aiden continued to chatter.

Connor studied his eyes, taking note of the glossy sheen. Aiden put a hand in his face and pushed him away.

“Yes, I’ve had a few drinks. Remember when we were camping, and you were downing beers?” Aiden asked.

Connor did remember. He remembered how wide Aiden’s eyes went when Connor had teased him a bit, he remembers how stunningly blue they looked. Connor quickly turned his head away now. Stop. He told himself sternly. It was just attraction. Like when you see a model or an actor, you know that their good looking, but that doesn’t mean anything will happen. Mostly because the model you see in a magazine doesn’t hop into your bed and lean against your shoulder, so close that their breath tickles your neck—goddamn Connor needed to get himself a new distraction that wasn’t his brother’s boyfriend.

“So, what’s the plan for the night?” Connor asked, “You going to hide from Hugh forever? Which is fair enough, since he’s an asshole. You can stay here.” God-ugh, no Connor, he chided himself, that wasn’t what you were meant to say.

Connor ran a hand through his hair, untangling a few knots.

He remembered the festival again. He remembered the look he’d exchanged with the guy while Aiden was between them. It was a moment of total understanding, where they both wanted more than they were getting very, very badly. Aiden had pulled Connor in close, Connor wasn’t even sure he knew what he was doing, but his hand and tangled through his hair and—fuck.

Connor sunk down on the bed. It’s just attraction, he repeated to himself. You’re attracted to people all the time. Evie, for example. But she hadn’t been interested, and to be honest, Connor had been more excited by possible feelings he might have for Aiden at camp. No, Connor corrected himself, attraction, not feelings. Connor had zero feelings for his brother’s boyfriend. They were friends.

“What are you even watching?” Aiden was squinting at the laptop screen. Connor moved it onto his lap, so he could see better.

“Goddammit Connor.” Aiden muttered annoyed.

“What?”

Aiden tapped his stomach. “That’s Hugh’s show.”

“It’s my show now.” Connor said, “Watch it with me.”

Aiden grumbled something under his breath, Connor thought he was calling him names and he couldn’t help but smile. Aiden also left his arm on his stomach as he lay down next to Connor.

Connor pretended not to notice.

He eyed the door, wondering if Lucas would be coming in looking for Aiden. Probably not for another while, given that the hum of voices was as loud as the music. Plus, the door was locked. Had Aiden done that on purpose? No. Connor knew that he’d done it to make sure no other party goers came in.

Still…

“Lift your head up.” Connor asked. Aiden complied, and Connor sank completely down onto the bed, pulling the covers up. He guided Aiden back down, who didn’t hesitate in using Connor’s shoulder as a pillow. It was like the pit of his stomach had a heartbeat of his own, and Connor started to have a few crazy thoughts.

Aiden was lying against him, didn’t that mean he wanted something too? No, Connor knew, it didn’t. Aiden had checked Connor out before, questioned him about his sexuality, but Connor had never gotten the impression that he was really, truly interested in him. His focus had been Lucas from the start.

Connor didn’t even care. But he’d heard the delicious sounds Aiden could make, and he couldn’t help it if he liked those noises. Just attraction. You don’t have to act on attraction.

“Have you talked to Evie?” Aiden asked.

Connor closed his eyes as Aiden’s had stretched out over his abdomen, straightening out the wrinkles of his shirt. “I skyped her earlier today. Apparently, she’ll be going through Ireland again next month.”

“Tell her to come see us.” Aiden said.

Come see us. Connor opened his eyes to glare at the ceiling. Just attraction. Nothing else. It didn’t matter that Aiden called them an us.

“Tell her yourself.” Connor said.

“You know her dad used to just stare at the ground?” Aiden said, “He was meant to be bird watching but he’d just pick out bits of soil to stare at as if the birds were going to come up from the earth.”

“Richard was cool.” Connor had really liked the man.

“Really cool.” Aiden agreed, “And bizarre. Evie was cooler. She was fun.”

“She was.” Connor agreed.

“What about the guy from the festival?” Aiden twisted around to see Connor’s face. “Was he fun?”

“If you wanted to know how fun he was, you should have come with me.” Connor replied coyly.

“I didn’t even know the dude’s name.” Aiden propped himself up on an elbow, his weight half resting on Connor. “I was still getting my head around the whole liking guys thing, I wasn’t ready to go hook up with a stranger.”

“You’d only have been hooking up with one stranger.” Connor said, “I was there too.”

“You’re a lot braver than I am.” Aiden shook his head.

Connor studied the curve of his neck and noticed a few hickies at the base of his throat. “Have you and Lucas had sex yet?”

Aiden jolted. The glossiness cleared from his eyes and they turned that vibrant blue Connor loved.

“Connor” Aiden said perturbed, “Why on earth would I tell my boyfriend’s brother that?”

Connor lifted himself onto his elbows to get a better look at Aiden’s crimson cheeks. Even the tips of his ears went red. “Why not? I was there for all the rest of your relationship. Usually a few feet away with only a thin cloth between us.”

Aiden smacked his stomach, for real this time. Connor caught his wrist and held it, as if preventing another attack, but really he just wanted Aiden in his grip. His wrist was soft against his palm, and he felt surprisingly thin, letting Connor wrap his fingers around him.

“So?” Connor pressed, “Have you? Because I’m just down the hall from Lucas, but I haven’t heard—”

“You’re a pervert Connor.” Aiden said levelly.

That shut him up. He was pushing way too much right now, but he just wanted to. He wanted to get Aiden riled up, focusing on him so intently, as if he were about to kiss him. Connor’s heart thumped painfully against his chest.

“No.” Aiden muttered finally, his eyes dropping away from Connor.

The want in Connor’s body had become a sharp pang of hunger. Restraining himself was like holding his breath for too long. It was like he couldn’t breathe, and there was no way he could convince himself that attraction made him crave another person this badly.

Aiden winced. “That’s the bad one, Connor. Loosen up.”

For a second, Connor didn’t. He was angry at Aiden for making him feel this way. For being oblivious. For crawling into his bed and touching him like it meant absolutely nothing—which to Aiden, it didn’t. The surge of anger made his grip tighten.

Aiden made a soft sound in his throat, and his eyes became even glossier as tears sprang up.

“I’m sorry.” Connor let go suddenly. He saw a red imprint where he’d held him. What the hell was wrong with him? Biting his cheek hard, Connor nudged Aiden gently. “I’m sorry. I forgot it was sore.” He felt awful even saying that. He hadn’t forgotten.

“It’s fine.” Aiden shrugged. Already the tears, and any trace of them had vanished.

There was a knock at the door. “Aiden?” It was Lucas.

Disappointment and relief filled Connor. He knew it was good that Lucas came to interrupt them, since clearly Connor couldn’t maintain any distance between them himself.

“Come in.” Aiden called over his shoulder.

The door handle turned. “It’s locked.” Lucas said.

“Oh well, see you tomorrow.” Aiden was grinning.

“I’ll break this down if I need to.” Lucas warned, “No way are you staying the night at my house without sleeping in my bed.”

Aiden slowly rolled away, and went to the door. Connor forced himself to watch as they wrapped around each other, happy and content. He hoped that seeing they liked each other would help him get over his own fee—attraction. It hadn’t worked for him so far.

Lucas wrapped an arm around Aiden’s waist, and his dark eyes turned to Connor. “Why was the door locked?” There was an edge in the question and his gaze, not directed at Aiden of course, Lucas trusted Aiden. He didn’t trust Connor.

“Ask your boyfriend.” Connor replied casually.

You’re right not to trust me, Connor thought. His palm still tingled where he’d held Aiden’s wrist. His heart still thumped from their proximity.

Lucas kept his gaze fixed on Connor. There was a warning in it. Lucas wasn’t as oblivious as Aiden when it came to Connor’s attraction. Connor knew it made Lucas angry because he thought Connor just wanted to sleep with Aiden. And Connor did want that, so maybe he was right to be angry. But there was more than that.

Aiden said a few words and Lucas stopped glaring.

Connor watched them leave. Lucas looked more relaxed now that Aiden was in the hall with him, and Aiden looked as handsome as he always did, even with Lucas’s arm around him, and that really pissed Connor off.

“Goodnight.” He called.

“Enjoy the show, traitor.” Aiden waved.

Lucas hesitated. He looked at Connor, apologetic, and sighed. “Goodnight.”

Connor stared at the closed door. He’d found Lucas’s behaviour toward Aiden ridiculous at first. How could any lose the run of themselves that much, just because of a crush? But he think he got it now. It was like his attraction.

You couldn’t help but feel it, even when you knew it was wrong.