“…Your Majesty. “
Y/n sat up slowly, sleepily glancing at Felix. ” Is he awake? “
” Yes. ” Felix pursed his lips,.” He’s strangely very calm and requests your presence. But…I worry that he will get angry again..”
” I’ll be fine…” She stood up, ” Go to him. I’ll be there soon. “
” Your Majesty, you didn’t heal your wounds.. ” Felix said in a pleasing tone, ” I beg you to get it taken care of first. “
“…alright. ” She sighed, sitting there as the imperial physician rushed in and took care of her wound and she changed out of her bloody clothes before making her way to the palace where Claude resided.
It’s been so many years walking around these hallways, but today, they were eerily cold. She wasn’t used to this sort of air, especially whenever she has tea or dinners with Claude out of necessity of their marriage.
She smiled tiredly at Felix, who bowed before knocking on the door, ” Your Majesty, Her Majesty the Empress is here. “
She entered, why did he call her to his room?
She sighed, ” How are you feeling? “
“…you dare stop me earlier and speak as if nothing
happened? “
” Your Majesty, ” She tried not to sound exasperated,
” Slaughtering servants in cold blood was not going to do anything. “
“..ha. “
She stared at the curtains that hid his probably pathetic state from her. “…the child will live. “
Claude rubbed his face in annoyance,
” Who are you to decide that right
now? “
” The Empress. Don’t forget I have an equal right to make a decision here. If one of us cannot compromise, then we’ll just have to find another solution. And killing her is not one of them. “
“…”
The silence fell, it was extremely tense. She knew she was picking at his wounds, but what else could she do?
After all, she had dug her own grave that one day when she stuttered out a promise to watch over that child. She sighed softly, stepping closer only to stop once she heard him, ” Don’t you dare…”
His voice trembled, and it was enough to know he doesn’t want her to see him in his current state. But when has she ever listened to him?
She approached the bed nonetheless, pushing aside the curtains to see him sitting there with his head down, body trembling and fists clenched.
She pursed her lips, ” Claude. “
” I don’t want your pity. “
” You should know better than that. I’ve never pitied you, ” She mumbled, “…Claude, that child…has done nothing
wrong. “
” She’s the reason Diana died. “
” Diana chose this. She didn’t want her child to die. “
” She chose death over me. “
” She chose to not bear the guilt of having killed her own child. “
” Why are you defending her? You’ve never even liked her in the first place! “
She blinked, a soft scoff escaping her lips. She grabbed his chin, eyes squinted as she made him meet hers.
” Listen here, you jerk. I get that you’re in despair that she has passed away. I understand that it hurts but dare I say, try to put yourself in her place and imagine whether living by killing her own child would make her happy. “
Claude glared weakly, tears streaming down his face as he looked away, escaping her grip. She sighed, agitated.
” Claude, I’m sure I don’t need to reassure you on this one. She loved you very much, but she loved her child just as much. “
“…you’re the one to talk as if you have experience. “
” Fuck, I really want to punch you right now. ” She muttered, ready to make her way towards the door but only stopping as he gripped her wrist.
“…I’m sorry. “
She sighed shakily, “…Claude, I may not have a child to speak with experience, but I’ll let you know one thing. I don’t need that horrible experience of having the joy of being pregnant but then hearing that I’m not strong enough to give birth to that life. I’d rather die, you hear me? “
His grip tightened at her words.
“…I would cherish my child, of course, more than anything in this world. I’m sure it’s the same for any mother, so yes, surprise! I understand what Diana did. “
He scoffed shakily, ” Fuck you. “
” Well, fuck you too, jerk. ” She mumbled, moving forward to embrace him, a shaky sigh escaping her lips.
” Cry all you want. But taking innocent lives is not going to bring her back, Claude. Especially not the child she has left in hopes of you to cherish her. “
“…shut up. “
She almost rolled her teary eyes as he cried, clutching onto her for dear life.
” I’m sorry. I hurt you. I raised my sword at you when I promised to protect you. “
” Only because I let you. ” She mumbled softly, ” Don’t let it get to your head,
kid. “
He pulled back, gently nudging her away, ” that thing again. I’m only a year younger. “
She crouched in front of him, heaving out a sigh. “…that baby has your eyes. ” she smiled slightly, ” it was startling to see. “
“…you went to see it? “
” Her name is Athanasia. ” She said, tone pointed, ” and yes, ” she mumbled, thoughts trailing off as she saw his hand hold onto hers and fiddle with it,
” I did. “
Claude couldn’t help but feel another wave of agony wash over him as he realized this. Will he even be able to look at that child and not think of Diana?
What will he do? He can’t face that baby, not after what he almost did. He wasn’t calm in any case, but right now, what’s stopping him is the hand that he held.
The warmth of Y/n’s hand reassured him that it’s alright to grieve, but what about the part of him that refused to accept Diana is dead?
How will he look at that child and not think she’s the reason his beloved has left his side forever?
“…that’s strange. You never liked her. “
Y/n frowns softly, her eyes on their hands too. He didn’t want her to look at his crying face, she knew that.
“…it’s not that I hated her, per say. Her personality…on the other hand..”
Claude chuckled slightly, another tear rolling down his cheek, his grip on Y/n’s hand tightened. He knew from the start that Y/n strayed away from personalities that are too bright and cheerful, she preferred calm and quiet over anything else.
Perhaps that was the reason they bonded in the first place.
“…she was…too bright for me. That’s all. I kept my distance for many political reasons apart from that, but I wouldn’t say it’s because I hated her. She never gave me a reason to. “
And that was fucking painful. To be so conflicted. She felt as if she would be the pathetic one to hate someone so innocent.
“…Claude, ” she mustered up the courage, “..I..know I don’t have the right to decide this. But still…let that child stay with me. “
“…you’ve never even liked children. What are you saying? ” Claude looked away as she looked up, “…if you’re worried I’ll harm her…then don’t worry. I’ll…just hire some nanny to look after all. “
Y/n could only smile, “…it’s true that I don’t like kids, but having a mini you around isn’t a problem. I think I’ll tolerate her too. “
He glared softly, “…you’re saying you tolerate the Emperor of this Empire? Ha, the audacity…”
She smiled to herself, standing up but heart skipping a beat as he still didn’t let go, ” Of course I tolerate you. Don’t forget, “
She poked his forehead gently, “…before you’re the Emperor, we grew up together. So you’re only Claude to me. The jerk who’s arrogant and cannot keep his mouth under control. “
He watched as she looked at the door, “…I’ll ask them to prepare something to eat for you, first—”
” No…” Claude didn’t let her go, “…funeral. Let’s…do a funeral first. “
She paused, sighing softly. ” Alright. “
“….”
“….”
“….”
” Claude, do you want me to slice down my arm and leave it here for you to keep holding on? “
He blinked softly, slowly letting her go. He flinched upon seeing the bruises that formed on her wrist, guilt crashing over his like waves.
He opened his mouth to apologize, but he saw the gentle pink hue that surrounded the wrist and made the bruise disappear. Right, her mana…
She only gave his chin a nudge, “…what a crybaby. ” She mumbled softly, making her way towards the door while he slumped on the bed.
“…you’re surely reckless with that mouth. Want me to cut that tongue
out? “
“…if it pleases you. ” She slammed the door shut after her, Felix jumped.
She smiled slightly, “…let’s..organize a funeral. Close the palace gates, no one is to enter for three days in mourning. “
” Yes, Your Majesty. “
end.
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