“….I told you not to wake me up early..†Y/n grumbled, snuggled in her blanket, “ Go away…â€
She tensed as she felt a soft kiss on her cheek, the familiar deep voice spoke teasingly, “ Wake up, you grumpy cat. I brought your favorite morning tea and I brewed it myself.â€
Claude exclaimed proudly while Y/n sat up robotically, reality dawning upon her. She touched her cheek that was burning, shuddering as Claude smiled at her with his jewel eyes overflowing with affection.
“…sit here.†She mumbled, forcing him to take a seat before she ran out of the room. “ Felix! Call the magician! â€
Throughout the process, Claude sits with a blank face, confused but too confused to ask anything. He watched as Y/n left the room, the magician trailing after her, trembling and shaking.Â
“ What is happening? â€
Felix pursed his lips, “…it was just a check up, Your Majesty.â€
– – –
“ So? Why the hell is acting this way? â€
“ Your Majesty, i-it seems His Majesty has subconsciously altered his memories. The curse was to erase Lady Diana as you assumed, but…it has erased the strong emotions he felt towards her Ladyship instead. To deal with the heartache, his majesty has subconsciously made himself believe he has everything he needs, which includes love that he lost….â€
She cringed, rubbing her temples, “…I told you to be direct, but isn’t this a bit too much? †She groaned, “…leave.â€Â Â
Felix stood behind her, a confused smile on his face too. She chuckled dryly, “…how cruel of him…†She gulped down the scream she wanted to let out, “…leave us.â€
Felix could only nod as Y/n entered the room, looking as if she had entered a battlefield.
– – –
“…the tea has gone cold. What happened? “ Claude sighed, “ I’ll just ask the servants to prepare something else.â€
“…no, it’s still hot.â€Â
He frowned, stopping her from drinking the cold tea and pulling her gently to sit beside him. ” Can you tell me what’s wrong? “
She sighed heavily, grabbing his hand hesitantly, ” Claude, what if…you see your daughter? “
“….”
” You don’t have to. ” She looked away, “..I’m not forcing you or anything. It’s just…”
‘…if he sees his daughter’s face, maybe he will snap out of this. ‘
“…okay. Only if…you’re there with me. ” Claude smiled softly, bringing her hand to his lips, “…I’m not sure how to face it. The fact that I’m a father…a horrible one at that, ”
He laughed with no mirth, “…I abandoned my daughter the moment she was born. I’m…not sure what to do myself. “
Y/n nods slowly, “…of course, I’ll be there. ” She mumbled, staring back at him, conflicted to see the way his eyes soften upon meeting hers, his smile turning affectionate and loving…
‘ His love is farce. It’s all made up, those feelings aren’t real. ‘ She reminded herself again and again, it was so easy to fall into that trap.
With every inch of her soul, for years, she had wished Claude would look at her with even a speck of love of the way he looked at Diana…
But this is not how she wanted it, no.
It was hard to breathe every time he looked at her like this, and the thought of seeing his expression once he snapped out of this idiocy seemed even more terrifying.
What if he pushes her away? What if he gets awkward around her? What if…the love she has done her best to hide slips through the cracks he is making now?
He shouldn’t know. Claude should never know that she loves him.
As they grew up, he only ever confided in her because he believed she’s the only person who wouldn’t betray him. But by falling for him, she has already betrayed that trust.
” N/n…”
She blinked, forcing herself to smile as she got her hand out of his, as gently as she could, ” Yes? I’m hungry. Do you want to go to a bakery that I like, Claude? “
Claude beamed, his worry earlier dissipating, ” We’re going on a date again! “
“…yes. “
” I’ll go get ready. ” He got off, fixing his robes before cupping her face and leaning down to leave a kiss on her temple, ” I’ll wait for you by the entrance of your palace. “
” Of course. ” She clutched her shirt, heart hammering as he left, humming something under his breath. Everything was so bizarre ever since he woke up.
He was Claude, but he acted so different to how he usually is. One would look at him and think it’s Claude’s doppelganger or something.
Because since when has Claude been so physically affectionate? Since when did he smile so brightly and genuinely? Since when…did he start humming under his breath joyfully as he rushed to go on a date he’s so excited for?
‘...it’s a trap, it’s a trap. Don’t fall for it—’
–
“…damn it. “
” Mhm? What is it? “
‘...why are we in the same bed? He’d usually get so uncomfortable if I were to lay here…‘ She thought, ‘...and this position is not helping me at all. ‘
” I just realized I forgot to sign a few papers. “
Claude huffed, ” I’ll start working from tomorrow too. So don’t take all the stress, leave it for me. ” He tightened his grip around her, nuzzling his face in her neck, ” Let’s sleep for now. “
” Okay. “
At first, it had been hard to get comfortable cuddling with someone because she has never done that, and with Claude on top of that? She was going crazy.
Because the feeling he got of wanting to hold her wasn’t real either, so she felt uneasy. Should she be so comfortable about this when he might wake up any time from his foggy memories and look at her weirdly?
It felt like she was wholeheartedly taking advantage of his unstable state to satiate her affection for him and it felt absolutely pathetic.
‘…so selfish…‘
She closed her eyes, her body melted against her wish and her heart hummed with content as she felt him slowly fall asleep, hugging her as if she’d disappear if he let go.
‘...so cruel of you, Claude. ‘
– – –
The following week, all Y/n does is suffer.
She never knew being the subject of Claude’s affections was this painful and torturous. He was more physically affectionate than she assumed, and now she didn’t know how to deny him without hurting his feelings.
But wait…did she even want to deny it in the first place? Her heart fluttered every time he hugged her or kissed her cheeks, palms, forehead whatsoever…she was pretty sure she was addicted to that feeling already.
‘...I wasn’t supposed to hit rock bottom…‘ She thought ruefully as she walked alongside him, glancing at him.
Other than his actions and feelings towards her, nothing changed. He was still intimidating and murderous towards every other person, he was the same Claude, the Emperor, the tyrant to everyone else.
That’s what kept her together. That’s what reminded her everytime that his feelings…these affectionate gestures towards her came out of nowhere. They weren’t real, they weren’t…trustworthy.
Yet, a naive part of her enjoyed the way she fit in his arms every night.
Gentle breeze made his golden hair sway, jewel eyes glistening like the sun rays that collided with water. Goodness, he was ethereal…a part of her wondered, could she even blame herself for falling for him?
It was finally time for him to see his daughter, her heart was racing again. What if he will finally stop all of this? What if this pretense to be lovers with him finally comes to an end?
She was selfish, putting it off the whole week…but she felt even more guilty about it in the end. What if he asks later, why didn’t she let him meet his daughter earlier?
” Your Majesty, you’re here! ” Lilian smiled, ” The Princess missed you very much—” Lilian’s smile disappeared as she noticed Claude beside her.
” Everyone, leave. “
Y/n sighed, taking Athanasia with a soft smile, ” Don’t worry. ” She whispered,
” He has finally agreed to see her. “
Lilian, with eyes full of tears at the thought of the Princess finally getting her father’s love, nods and leaves along with the other maids.
Y/n was proud that she has gotten better at holding and rocking babies whose neck wasn’t set yet, she smiled as Athanasia giggled at the sight of her.
” Why, hello, Athy. ” She whispered, gently tickling the baby’s chin to hear more giggles, it made her smile stretch. ” Guess who’s here today? “
Claude still stood at a distance. For some reason, his heart was racing and palms were sweaty. What if he dropped the baby? He nervously dried them using his magic.
However, the sight of Y/n cooing and whispering at the giggling baby put him at ease for a few moments, letting him approach them hesitantly.
The closer he got, the harsher his heart rammed against his chest. There was a dull ache, as if something very big and precious was missing this picture..
Y/n studied his expressions, gulping softly. ” Do you want to hold her? “
“…I’m…not sure. What if…I drop her? “
Y/n couldn’t help but smile, ” Use magic to make sure you won’t. “
Shooting her a nervous smile, he shakily held up his hands and Y/n let him carry Athanasia, her eyes burning.
‘..he’s going to kill me once he’s back to his senses...’
The moment, however, remains etched into her memory. She wouldn’t want to forget it, ever.
end.
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