Н‘¾Ð‘¯Ð‘¬Ð‘Μ Ð‘»Ð‘¯Ð‘¬ Н‘¾Ð‘°Ð‘Μ𝑫 Н‘©Ð‘³Ð‘¶Ð‘¾Ð‘º €¢Ð’Ƒ𝒙Н’Ƒ• The Other Side of Paradise (Bittersweet Ending)

AN: I once planned to have three endings for this story, but I chose two in the end. This ending will be the one that I never wrote.

Enjoy.

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“When you think this pain is all you deserve, you are right. You are the only one that can decide how long you will walk in hell.”
– Shannon L. Alder

~ ¤ || ¤ || ¤ ~

He chose eternity.

Solitude was like the rain that fell over the sea as the dusk began to settle.

Solitude was like the first snow that melted into the ground as the dawn rose above the clouds.

Solitude was like the thunder that roared across the skies as the moon lit up the midnight sky.

The road he walked was one he would call solitude. The state of being alone, with no one to be by your side. That was the road he chose—the path he chose.

The being inside his mind was not someone, but a part of himself, and still with it by his side he thought himself to be alone.

That was what he wanted. He was the one who chose to leave. He was the one who chose to disappear. He was the one who chose solitude over everything else.

The road may be a long and dark one, filled with pain and suffering—but he chose it, and so he shall walk it.

_

As he watched his father’s soul depart back to its rightful place, he heard one last sniffle leave his brother.

From behind them, Hagoromo hovered in place and the heaviness of his gaze weighted Akashi down. He was looking at him as if he already knew everything about him—as if he knew the decision he was going to make, the decision he already made.

So, he waited. He waited until Sasuke raised his hand and Naruto did the same. He waited until the everlasting jutsu was dispelled and everyone was awake again. He waited until Tsunade arrived, and he waited until everything was said and done.

From afar, he saw the eyes he adored so much stare at him, and he made peace with his own decision, “Everyone,” his voice boomed through the large space, and soon, all eyes were on him, “There is something that I have to say.”

“What, what?” Naruto impatiently asked from the side, almost bouncing on the soles of his feet. He truly was the same as before, never-changing.

His little brother.

That single thing almost broke his composure, but he forced himself not to reveal anything. He needed to be strong, “I am sorry about everything that I’ve done.”

For a moment, nobody reacted to his words, before slowly, one by one, their eyes widened as they realised what he said. Those words were something he never thought he would ever say again, but in that situation, he found it fitting, “We’ve all already forgiven you, Akashi.” The one who spoke was Kakashi.

“Maybe, but I find it hard to believe you’ll forgive me after this.” Slowly, he felt the corners of his mouth quirk up in a forced smile.

Naruto was looking at him, the giddiness no longer making him bounce around, “What do you mean? After what?”

After what…? That was a good question.

“What are you talking about?” The tone of that voice sounded accusatory, but Akashi didn’t mind. Sasuke had tensed up, as if he were still in the middle of a fight—ready to move at any moment.

Akashi glanced at him, momentarily shifting on his feet, “I am going to leave.” He laid the words out bare and awaited the uproars.

Nothing happened. He waited. Still, nothing happened.

What? Were they expecting him to say that? Were they not surprised?

But, as he watched them all, he could see that it was the total opposite.

Everyone had locked up, their bodies unconsciously declining the mere idea of his words. Unblinkingly, they stared at him. Unblinkingly, they processed his words.

And then, it came, “Leaving…? You’re going to leave, again?!” It was none other than Naruto. Of course he was going to be the first. His precious, little brother. The one who gave too much and asked for too little.

“I am.”

The small pebbles on the ground were kicked aside as the blond walked up to him. His rough hands gripped onto his shoulders, and there was the clear sight of disbelief in his azure eyes, “Why?! Why are you leaving?!” Ever so slightly, he felt the pressure increase and it soon passed the painful line, but he did not step back nor shake the hands off.

He’ll allow him that much.

He had no plans on ever seeing any of them again, after all.

That much was enough.

“Konoha is not my home, otouto. I don’t think it ever was,” He raised his own arms and gently pressed his palms against Naruto’s hands, as if to give him a false sense of comfort. There was nothing else he could give him. No other answer. Nothing, “The only thing I can do is leave and never come back.”

Those azure eyes clenched shut, and through grit teeth, Naruto expressed his dissatisfaction with the idea, “Aren’t I your home?! Isn’t family supposed to stick together?!”

For the briefest of moments, Akashi wanted to throw the words right back at him. He had left for more than two years, and he was talking about family sticking together? In the end, he chose to stay silent about that. Further argument would only prolong his time there, “But I am not yours.” Those words were the only thing Naruto needed to hear.

Slowly, the hands slid off his shoulders, and Naruto’s defeat was apparent.

“Just like that?” It was not Naruto who spoke, “You’re going to leave and never come back?”

The pain in his voice was evident.

Onyx and purple met violet and Akashi answered, “Yes. Just like that. I am going to leave and never come back,” Step by step, Akashi drew closer to him. With a foot between them, he forced yet another smile, “You’ll never see me again—nobody will.”

“Take me with you!” The pure, unadulterated desperation in his tone made Akashi’s heart constrict.

He couldn’t do that, but he did not answer. It wasn’t needed—Sasuke wasn’t dumb to not realise what his silence meant. Even though he couldn’t deny him with his words, his silence did the job.

“Why did you come back when you’re just going to leave again?”

That was a good question, but he did not answer, yet again.

“Akashi!” There it was, back again, the desperation. He stared at him, begging him, pleading him to stay.

But, the choice had already been made, and Sasuke was the only one who didn’t make peace with it, “I’m sorry, Sasuke,” For the last time, he said his name, “Forget about me. Erase me from your mind,” He reached his hand forward and pressed it against his chest, right over his heart, “Erase me from this.”

Maybe he was asking for far too much. Maybe what he said was impossible to do.

“Forget about me and I’ll forget about you.”

But, if Sasuke truly did forget about him, Akashi wondered if he could do the same.

“I will never do that.” There was such certainty in his words, such confidence and Akashi got the answer he needed.

Gently, he bunched up the fabric of Sasuke’s shirt in his hand, “I can forget for the both of us.”

“Akashi!” From behind him, he heard their sensei’s voice, “Are you sure about this?” He had asked, but there was no hidden meaning behind his words. There was no indication that he would try and stop him.

At least he made peace with it.

Not looking away from Sasuke, he gave out his last answer, “I’m sure.”

For the last time, he leaned close and skin met skin.

And then, he disappeared, leaving not even a flash in his wake.

_

He had left, and he had no intention to ever go back again.

Even as the seasons changed, even as he couldn’t help but feel the loneliness gnaw at him from the inside, he didn’t go back.

He would never go back.

_

With no place to call his home, he headed to the only place he could learn to call his own.

The old ruins of Uzushiogakure.

The place that was his mother’s home.

Shouldn’t you rest for a bit, little one? You’ve been roaming for days.

Kurama spoke, concern lacing his voice, I’ll rest when we get there. With his straightforward answer, his companion grew silent and remained silent until they arrived at their destination.

_

What little information he learned of Uzushio could never prepare him for the real thing

The setting sun painted the sky sombre orange and yellow, and it reflected on the water that separated the village, making it seem as if it were a path made out of gold.

Fallen buildings rested against each other, showing just how much the village suffered.

To think that it happened because others were afraid of them…

People are afraid of that which is stronger than them.

It doesn’t mean they need to destroy everything that they’re afraid of.

That is how the world works, little one. Better they destroy it before it tries to destroy them, that was how their minds work.

Their minds are broken.

The ‘as am I’ was left unsaid.

_

It had taken him a while to find the least destroyed place, one which could be repaired the fastest, but he found it in the end. A small cottage. It was on the edge of the village, away from the other buildings, and it was in an almost impeccable condition, save for the years of it being abandoned. High grass had surrounded it, and the entrance was barely visible. The door was hanging on its hinges, but that was the least of his concerns. Slowly, he stepped inside, careful not to touch anything.

The cottage truly was small. There were two doors that lead from the main room, and he felt an unrestrained sense of sadness wash over him when he stepped inside one of them. A lone corpse, already decomposed into that of a skeleton, was on the ground. Besides it was something that looked like a makeshift crib.

He wasn’t surprised when he saw what was inside.

The shinobi world truly was a cruel one.

_

After he buried the two bodies not far from the cottage, he went back inside. It could do some work, but he was sure he would succeed in making it as homey as he could. After all, it was his home, wasn’t it?

Uzushio—a place where his mother had lived and a place he lived in.

_

He had summoned the pack and tasked them with helping him clear the house of any unneeded things. The grass outside was quickly cut off and the door was put back onto its hinges. There were holes in it, but he will be able to cover them with more wood.

Hours later, the messiness was no more, but there were still things he needed to change.

Those things will need time and time was all that he had left.

_

The needed supplies were bought in the town closes to Uzushio. As to not be recognised, he had used a jutsu to change both his eye colour and hair colour into a simple brown shade. The scar he had over his eye was removed. He truly didn’t want to be seen by anyone, especially not the people he knew.

No matter how many years passed, he knew that he would be recognised.

And that day had to be the day he was.

_

It was in one, single moment that he recognised the chakra that was near him, but that same moment was all it took for the other person to recognise his own.

Quickly, he turned on his heel and prepared to make a run for it, but the voice that called out to him made him falter, “Akashi?”

For a moment, he hesitated, but his feet remained rooted to the ground.

Rushed footsteps approached him and he did not turn around, “It really is you…” She sounded exhausted, as if she had been running for a while.

Slowly, he turned around and found himself staring at crimson eyes. She was almost the same as the last time he had seen her, although she did look older than before. Her hair had been cut shorter, but the glasses were still the same, “Karin.” He greeted her.

“I knew I didn’t make a mistake…” She stepped closer, but he did not move back, “How is it that you’re here, in this part of the world?”

She chakra tracked him, of course… “Uzushio.” Was his simple reply.

It was as if realisation flooded through her, “You were there this whole time?” She said it as if he was gone for a decade, and not a bit over three years.

“It was the only place I could call home.” It truly was.

She shifted on her feet, seemingly reluctant about voicing whatever was on her mind. He waited, patient, “Can I…?” She trailed off, not managing to finish her sentence, but he understood.

In that moment, he realised that that place could’ve been her home, but she was robbed the possibility off it before she was even born, “I can’t stop you.” Not directly answering her, he turned around and immediately heard her footsteps follow behind.

_

From the corner of his eye, he watched her look around at the destroyed remains of a great clan. They didn’t exchange words on their way back to Akashi’s house.

She didn’t voice her thoughts when they went inside, although he could sense her chakra spike at the sight of it, “Did you do this by yourself?” She asked, quickly taking a seat at one of the chairs he had made.

He dispelled the jutsu that changed his appearance and settled down the bag which was filled with the things he got in town, “I had help.” From behind him, light clicks—as if from claws—were heard. From the other room walked out Chrono, his golden eyes piercing straight through Karin.

“Oh…” She mumbled out, staring at the wolf with widened eyes.

He sat down across her and crossed his legs as he leaned back, “You were searching for me.” He stated.

For a moment, she went silent, before her futile tries at declining his words started, “No! I was just… passing by and I caught traces of your chakra!” From behind her, another wolf blocked the exit, but she did not seem to realise that.

“We both know that you’re lying,” A little forcefully, the words left his lips. Her chair let out a light screech as she stood up, as if trying to get away from him, and he saw her lock up the moment she turned around, “Calm down, I have no intentions of hurting you. Why would I bring you here otherwise?”

She glanced back at him, “So no one can find my body?”

That almost made him laugh, “Don’t be silly. I’ve not drawn my blade at anyone in more than a year.”

She blinked, “More than a year? You’ve been away for more than three years.”

He shifted, crossing his legs the other way around, “Some unfortunate bandits stumbled upon my cottage and tried to take something that isn’t theirs. Can you blame me?”

It took her a moment to reply, “No, no I can’t,” With a sigh, she sat back down, “Why’d you bring me here?”

“Why’d you search for me?” He shot his own question back at her.

She furrowed her brows, and with great reluctance said, “There’s no specific reason. Uzushio seemed like the only place you’d go to, so I decided to see if I was wrong or not.”

There wasn’t a hint of her words being a lie, “I see. Is that it? If yes, then I’d like to go and make dinner,” He sat up and took hold of the bag on the side, “If you want, you can stay for the night. You seem exhausted.” Without another word, he left the room.

_

She left first thing in the morning.

He was sure she didn’t need to be told to keep his location to herself.

_

As such, time passed once again—just as it always did.

_

He wasn’t surprised when he caught traces of her chakra not even a year later, nor was he surprised when she showed up at his door, holding a bag filled with who knows what.

He didn’t turn her away, so she quickly got inside and gave him the bag.

Inside were various groceries. He wasn’t a charity case, what was she doing?

With the intention of declining it, he was about to speak, but was interrupted, “I hoped you’d cook for me again…” She looked… really scared for some reason. Of what? Of him rejecting her?

Somehow, he wondered when the last time she ate home-cooked food was.

“I know I’m being unreasonable, but… your cooking reminded me of my mother and I…” She averted his eyes, not finishing her sentence.

His resolve crumbled, “You’re helping me.”

Not waiting to hear her answer, he turned around and left to the kitchen.

As expected, she followed after him.

_

That was how his time went by.

Karin would come a few times a year, always with the excuse of wanting to eat his food. But, he somehow knew that that wasn’t the only reason—he did acknowledge it as one, but not the only one.

She’s like a lost puppy.

Maybe.

Why do you think she’s doing that?

That was a good question, She’s lonely.

The ‘as are you’ went unsaid.

_

Sometimes, as he passed by a lightly cracked mirror, he’d stop and stare at his reflection. He’d find himself thinking that he looked nothing like when he was a young boy, so inexperienced and naive.

Then, his brother’s face flashed before his eyes, but he blinked the image away. Once again, what greeted him was his own tired expression.

What was he tired of?

_

A distant howl alerted him of a trespasser and he increased the range of his chakra sensing.

For a split second, he felt his heart constrict in the chest, before the feeling went away. No. The chakra was different. It wasn’t him. There was no way it was actually him who came.

Karin promised him she wouldn’t tell anyone, so why?

Why was it that that chakra reminded him of Sasuke?

_

He sat still in front of the door, awaiting the arrival of whoever it was. Their chakra came closer an closer, and as such, they stopped in front of the door. He didn’t say anything as he waited for it to open.

And when it did, the constricting of his heart came back full-force, and much stronger than the last time.

A young girl stood there, her wide eyes staring straight at him. Her straight, short raven hair was brushing the side of her chin and her onyx irises shone with traces of silver under the candle light.

Her whole appearance screamed Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke at him.

Ah… So he indeed had forgotten about him, hadn’t he? He listened to what Akashi had told him all those years ago, and went ahead and forgot about him. And there Akashi sat, unable to stop his mind from chanting the boy’s—man’s—name.

How the tables had turned.

“You… knew I was coming?”

As soon as she spoke, Akashi realised who her mother was.

Cherry pink hair and emerald eyes was what he remembered—he could no longer make out the lines of her face in his own memories.

She had gotten her wish of marrying Sasuke, hadn’t she?

His chest throbbed.

“Mister…?” The girl began again, trying to get his attention.

The chair’s armrest creaked as he pushed himself to his feet, easily towering over her short form, “And you are?” His voice sounded rough from disuse and it didn’t fail to make the girl flinch.

“Uchiha… Sarada,” she politely introduced herself, “You are… Uzumaki Akashi.”

He felt the muscles in his jaw flex as he pressed his teeth together, “You would be correct,” He stepped forward, but the girl did not move back. How peculiar. She was trembling like a leaf at the sound of his voice, but did not step back? “Now, tell me, what brings you here?” Before she could even answer, he continued, “Ah! Don’t tell me, I’ll guess—it’s Karin?” He grinned at her, sure to show her his sharper-than-normal canines.

The drumming of his heart grew harsher when he saw how her eyes narrowed in the same manner Sasuke’s used to, “She mentioned you would try and scare me away,” There was no longer any reluctance in the way she spoke, “It’s useless.”

She truly was a mix between her mother and… father, wasn’t she?

“Of course she did… Why must she meddle in my life?” Clicking his tongue, he dropped the act and averted his eyes, although he couldn’t stop the light growl at the last part, “So? Why are you here?”

For a moment, it sounded like she wouldn’t answer, “They talked about you,” she spoke with a light tone, “They told me a lot of things about you—the Hokage especially.”

The Hokage… The news had spread a while ago that Konoha had a new one.

Naruto finally made his dream come true.

“Did they tell you about me wanting to end the world?” He asked, looking back at her, “Did they tell you how I almost killed the Hokage once?”

Unblinkingly, she stared back at him, “They did.”

Hmm… “Then why are you not running away? Why don’t you look scared?”

He watched as she lightly shifted on her feet, “Because you’re someone my Papa loved.”

Loved… He could’t help but feel a pang in his chest at the sound of that word, “Did the Hokage tell you about that, too?” He shook his head at his brother’s antics.

“No. Papa did.”

Damn it… He closed his eyes and sharply breathed out, “Did he now…? What else did he say?” He forced the words out, struggling to make his voice sound even. His throat was beginning to feel raw and he could feel the familiar stinging in his eyes. Here he was… a man in his thirties, about to cry because of such a thing.

“He was… reluctant in talking about you,” That wasn’t a surprise, “But I’d see him looking at a picture a lot,” A… picture? “It was a framed photograph of him with his team.”

Damn it all! Why?! Why didn’t he forget?! He had a daughter! A wife! Why didn’t he forget him like he told him to?! “Oh?” Instead, that was what left his lips.

Sarada nodded, “When I asked him why you separated, he just smiled at me,” she briefly averted her eyes, “It was the first time I saw him smile and he showed me a painful one.”

What he would give to see him smile once more, not a painful one, but a true one—a free-spirited one.

“Papa loved you,” she began again, “Papa still loves you,” He met her eyes and her cheeks stretched as she grinned at him, “I’m sure he’ll always love you.”

I’m sure he’ll always love you.

That was all it took for his resolve to crumble. He grit his teeth in a futile attempt to stop the trembling of his lips.

Damn it… Damn it… Damn it. Damn it! Damn it!

His fists clenched at his sides and he turned away, not willing to show himself in such a state.

“I wanted to meet the man everyone spoke so highly of,” He barely registered her words, “You’re exactly as they said you would be,” No, no, he wasn’t, he really wasn’t, “You still love my Papa just the same.”

No, damn it, no, he didn’t! He didn’t! He stopped! He stopped a long time ago! He forgot about him! He left him behind!

“Your hair is even more beautiful that he described it to be,” Stop… Just stop, please… “Your eyes—the colour between the heat of fire and the coldness of ice.”

The first tremble of his shoulders came, as did his words, “Stop,” he forced out, “Don’t say anything else.”

If she said anything else… “He mentioned a strand of hair that was always out of place.”

In that moment, a single drop slid down his cheek. He was thankful it wasn’t the cheek that she could see, for if she did… “Please leave.”

“What…?” She sounded confused by his request.

Confused? Why was she confused?! “I said leave!” His voice boomed through the space around them and he turned in her direction. Faintly, he heard a sizzling sound, but he failed to notice that it was his tear that was evaporating, “Leave this place and never come back!” With heavy steps, the floorboards creaked as he drew near, “Don’t you dare ever come back!”

She stepped back, one foot already through the door, “I’m sorry!” Her shoulders shook like leaves in the wind and regret bubbled within him.

He pushed the feeling aside as he stepped even closer, effectively making her step out the door. With one last look, the girl turned around and ran away.

The Uchiha clan crest proudly laid on her back.

He slammed the door shut and steadied himself by grabbing onto a nearby stool. The weight of his emotions was too heavy for him, and his knees gave out as a result. He gave no thought to the light pain from his bones clicking against the floor and instead focused on the pain in his chest, futilely trying to rid himself of it.

He tried and tried and tried, but it was no use.

In the end, he couldn’t suppress the sobs.

_

His body ached as he sat leaned against the wall. His throat burned from the cheat liquor he drowned himself in, but it did nothing to help him cope. For the first time in his life, he cursed the fact that he couldn’t get drunk. He couldn’t numb his feelings. The glass bottle was heavy in his hand and he just gripped onto it, he gripped and gripped until it finally broke under his touch.

He felt the glass shards dug into his skin and scrape against his bone, but he just tightened his fist, pushing it in deeper and deeper.

Maybe the pain in his hand could drown out the pain in his chest.

Stop it, little one.

Stop what?

This… Everything. Can you do that? Can you stop?

Could he? Stop? Was stopping something he could do? I don’t think I can.

But you need to. Haven’t you suffered enough?

Enough? There’s no such thing as enough.

As if knowing that pursuing that conversation would equal to nothing, Kurama went silent, receding into the deepest parts of his mind.

He wrapped his fingers around the thick shard of glass and ripped it out, watching as blood slid down the darkened glass. He peered at the wound in his palm and watched as it stitched itself back together, as it always did.

Why couldn’t his heart do the same?

_

He walked, feeling the soft grass strands bend under his feet.

What was he doing? Where was he going?

He let his feet lead the way—he just followed. He walked through the thickest parts of the forest. He walked across lakes and rivers. He climbed up trees and mountains.

Move. Move. Move. Move. Move.

Just keep on moving.

Just keep on walking.

For what? Why? Was there something waiting for him?

Was the-

Coldness crept under his skin and the cool wind just strengthened the ice caging his bones.

He sensed it—chakra.

And in that moment, he realised that there was no way it was Sarada’s.

Why was… he out there? Why now? Why was it even happening? How was it even happening?

The chakra… was the same as it always was. Nothing changed and… it felt like a breath of fresh air. It felt like an oasis in the desert. If felt like ice on burning skin.

Comforting.

With each second that passed, it got closer and closer and clos-

The sight of him was made everything grow quiet. For the first time since he left that day, he could feel his mind calm down. His heartbeat slowed down, and he felt like time did, too.

The same raven hair, although styled differently, still made him look breathtaking.

One, lone onyx eye stared straight at him, as if it could reach the deepest parts of him.

He looked… older. That thought was almost funny—of course he would look different, it’s been… fifteen… years. Damn it, it’s been fifteen years… Fifteen whole years had passed since that day—since his own forsaken birthday.

No longer did he have that boyish look to him, only the mature aura of a proper adult. Adult. He missed the most important years of his life, didn’t he? He missed… everything. He missed his marriage… He missed the birth of his daughter…

Silently, Sasuke stared at him.

Silently, Akashi stared back.

Was it true what she said? He wanted to ask. Have you still not forgotten about me?

Deep in his heart, he knew the answer.

If he forgot, he wouldn’t be standing in front of him.

If he forgot, he would’ve already left.

If he forgot, he wouldn’t be looking at him like he put the stars in the sky.

If he forgot, he wouldn’t look like he was barely holding himself back from stepping closer.

If he forgot-

They just stared at each other and little by little, Akashi forced a small smile. I’m all right. He wanted to convey. I’m here. He wished to tell him. I’m in front of you.

Slowly, as if on instinct, Sasuke returned his smile. I know. His eyes conveyed. I see you. He silently told him. I see you.

_

Never had he shone brighter than when he smiled.

_

Then, silently and painfully, they turned their backs on each other and walked away.

~ ¤ || ¤ || ¤ ~

“There is nothing more heart wrenching than mourning an individual who is still alive.”
– Bonnie Zackson Koury

~ ¤ || ¤ || ¤ ~

AN: I’ve never been more hurt by my own writing.

Props to AniMagical Productions for giving me a few ideas for this chapter! I love you! ^-^