Н‘¾Ð‘¯Ð‘¬Ð‘Μ Ð‘»Ð‘¯Ð‘¬ Н‘¾Ð‘°Ð‘Μ𝑫 Н‘©Ð‘³Ð‘¶Ð‘¾Ð‘º €¢Ð’Ƒ𝒙Н’Ƒ• Some things can’t be fixed

Akashi didn’t go home that night.

He wandered around Konoha, through the dimly lit streets.

He had made a decision… he was going to tell the news to the Hokage in the morning. Withholding information could be seen as a sign of betrayal, and he didn’t want to be seen as a traitor.

And so, he wandered and wandered… and wandered. Until the early dawn, he didn’t stop. One might say he was thinking about things that happened… but it was the exact opposite.

He wasn’t thinking of anything. Absolutely anything.

Then, when the time came, he demanded an emergency meeting with Tsunade.

_

“Come in”. He heard a tired voice from the inside. He dropped his hand down and pushed the door open. Tsunade raised her thin eyebrows when she saw him. “Uzumaki… Akashi?” She wondered out loud, confused as to why he came so early to see her.

“I apologize for the early visit, but I have information I need you to know about”. Tsunade’s expression hardened at the seriousness of his voice. She gestured for him to come closer, and he did. He walked over, in front of her desk, before breaking the news. “Last night, Uchiha Sasuke had left the village and is on his way to Orochimaru”. Immediate desk slamming commenced.

“What?! Are you sure?!” She stood up in a hurry, her amber eyes wide open.

“I am”. He placed his hands behind him, tightly gripping his own wrist.

“How do you know that?” There it was… the awaited question. The question he feared.

“I talked with him last night, just before he left”. There was no use in trying to lie… she was going to find out the truth one way or another.

“What? Did you fight? Is that why you couldn’t stop him?” She asked, but when they boy stayed silent, her eyes narrow. “You… you let him go, didn’t you?” She was perceptive… really perceptive, but it wasn’t like he was trying to hide the truth.

“I did”. He lowered his head and awaited the reprimand he was going to get. And… damn… did he get it.

She sat back down, face wiped blank. “For withholding information and the possibility of the village’s secrets being outed to unallied villages, you are to be suspended from further ninja activities… indefinitely”. She declared, before raising her hand. “You are dismissed”. He nodded and turned around.

But… before he opened the door, he glanced at her. She blinked at him and he blinked back. “Is there something more you failed to inform me of?” Akashi shook his head, before a laugh left his lips.

“No, nothing like that… it’s just…”. He trailed off, looking at the office around him. Tsunade narrowed her eyes, feeling annoyed at the sudden stop.

“Spit it out or leave”. She demanded, her whole posture radiating irritation. Akashi tilted his head, his lips curling up in a condescending sneer.

“You may have the title of Hokage… but you will never be like him“. Ignoring the half-pained-half-surprised look on her face, Akashi gently closed the door behind him.

Tsunade was left alone in the office.

A pitiful chuckle left her lips as she leaned back in her chair. “Sensei… such wonderful kids are in this village…”. Naruto’s determined face flashed in her head, his words, his dreams of becoming Hokage… Lee’s carefree one, also speaking of his dream… and then…

She glanced at the door. Akashi… she doesn’t know the boy as much as she knew Naruto, but she could already see…

She was going to have her hands full with him.

She sighed, before calling in the Chunin’s which were stationed in the Hokage Tower. The Uchiha was a priority.

_

Half an hour after that, Akashi was going towards the gates of Konoha. He could sense Naruto was there. He looked through the giant gates far in front of him, looked at the world beyond them. It was big and horrible. Filled with unspeakable things. How would things be if every village was like Konoha? He wondered… would it make things better? Or would there be even more conflict?

A moment later, he reached the group of five which was at the gates. They turned around and faced him, equal expressions of surprise on their faces.

Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, Choji and, of course, Naruto. Surprisingly, the first one who spoke was Shikamaru.

“The Hokage told me you’re suspended”. Akashi stuffed his hands inside his pockets and nodded. Naruto let out a confused ‘huh?!’, before he stalked towards Akashi.

“Suspended? For what?” He asked, and Akashi almost didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth.

He looked at his little brother, at his round, baby blue eyes and realized. He never really could hide things from him, could he? So, after taking a deep breath, he spoke. “I didn’t stop Sasuke from leaving the village, I let him go”. He had expected an outburst of sorts, but he never expected Naruto to forcefully grab him by his shirt.

“What?! Why didn’t you?!” Akashi winced at his tone, and grabbed him by the wrist, trying to pry his fingers off him, but found himself unable to. “Why did you let him go to that snake bastard?!” Of course Naruto didn’t understand. What did Akashi expect from him? He never realized Sasuke was in constant pain, in a constant state of anger and hatred.

Gritting his teeth, Akashi gripped Naruto’s wrist with even more force and threw his hand off him. “You don’t understand! Why did I even think you would?!” Naruto glared at him, but before their fight could get any messier, Shikamaru stepped in between them, hands pushing at their chests to separate them.

“Naruto, we don’t have time right now, we need to go”. Naruto scoffed at his words and angrily turned around, facing away from Akashi. The said boy harshly stuffed his hands back inside his pockets, before walking away from them. After a few steps he stopped and turned around.

“You won’t be able to bring him back…and you’re only going to get hurt in the end”. He disregarded the pain in Naruto’s eyes and continued on his way.

_

A day and a half passed since Naruto left. Two days passed since Sasuke left. And Akashi had never felt more miserable in his life.

He didn’t eat or sleep since his fight with Naruto, he knew that would only make him feel worse, but just remembering what happened, made his insides twist. He tried eating, but he just couldn’t keep it down. He felt weaker and weaker with each passing second, but he didn’t bother with falling asleep, since he knew the nightmares would just snap him awake.

The only thing he could do was wait.

It was then, that he sensed Kakashi’s arrival.

Akashi was on the Hokage Mountain, on the First Hokage’s head, lying on his back, facing the bright sky above him. It was a direct contrast to how he was feeling inside.

“I heard what happened”. The man stood above him, blocking the sun. Akashi cranked one eye open and then closed it again, too tired to even keep it open. “Why did you fight with Naruto?” The man asked, not moving from his spot.

Akashi sighed and forced himself to sit up. He fully opened his eyes, ignoring the heavy feeling of them, and glanced at Kakashi. “We had a disagreement”. The man blinked at his words, not believing him for a moment. He noted the dark circles under the redhead’s eyes and how pale his skin was. If he didn’t have such strong regenerative abilities, he would have probably looked even worse.

“Just a disagreement?” Sakura told him what had happened after Akashi’s fight with Naruto. She also mentioned that Akashi went to see Sasuke the night he left, even though Kakashi had heard that from Tsunade. What was different though, was the look in Sakura’s eyes when she spoke of it, as if she knew something more, but decided against telling him.

“He didn’t bother to understand Sasuke’s reasons for leaving and was determined to bring him back by force”. Kakashi whistled at his words.

“And you do?” He asked the boy, wondering what he was going to say in reply. He seemed to think it was the right thing to do… to let Sasuke leave.

Akashi scoffed at his question, as if he couldn’t believe Kakashi actually asked him that. “You know… Naruto and I are very different”. He changed the subject, making Kakashi’s eye narrow in suspicion. “He has a dream of his own and I don’t. We also look at things from a different perspective”. He continued, shaking his head. “He lets his own feelings get in the way of things and I don’t”. Finishing, he stands up and pats the dust off his pants.

Kakashi did know that. He knew that since the beginning. The twins were like yin and yang, and he wondered if there was a mistake when they were born. “You once told me you had a dream”. Kakashi remembered their introduction when they first met. “You said it was for Naruto to become Hokage”. He clarified, making Akashi sigh.

“Yeah… but that dream isn’t for me… it’s for him”. The boy explained, rubbing his eyes. Trying to rub the sleep out of them, but failing. Kakashi didn’t know what to make of that. Everyone had something they wanted to accomplish, so why didn’t he? Also, about the last part, when he mentioned feelings being involved. What did he mean by that?

Akashi snorted at him and Kakashi looked at him in question. “You look like you’re really trying to figure something out… and I can only guess what it’s about”. They exchanged a look, before Akashi looked away and over the village. “You’re probably wondering why I let Sasuke go… aren’t you?” At Kakashi’s silence, he continued. “It’s because I realized there was nothing holding him here… there was nothing for him to return to”. He stuffed his hands inside his pockets.

“Everyone has something holding them here.. I have Naruto, Naruto has his dream of becoming Hokage, even you… you probably have memories of someone who you cared about”. Immediate flashes of his past team flash through his mind. But something confused him.

“Sasuke has that too, memories of his clan and family”. Akashi nodded at that and then he looked down at his feet.

“Yeah… but you no longer have a dream, right?” A wave of pain overcame Kakashi at his words. He was right, he no longer has something he wants to accomplish. He no longer has dreams he wishes was true. He only dreams about the past. Seeing that Kakashi had realized what he meant, Akashi continued. “Sasuke does, but his will to accomplish his dream became stronger than the memories that tie him to this place”. He finished.

At that moment, Kakashi saw something flash through the boy’s eyes, before he looked down. Pain? Grief? “Who am I to stop him from doing that? I have no right to do that… so I let him go… I let him walk the path that he had chosen… even if it diverged from mine”. Then, the wind blew, and Kakashi realized. From the expression the boy carried, he realized.

Akashi cared about Sasuke.

“I know you are suspended from your ninja duties, but… would you like to come with me?” He found himself asking. “For Naruto’s sake”. He added, seeing the reluctance in the boy’s stiff frame. Akashi went silent, but nodded after a moment. “Follow me”. Kakashi jumped down and Akashi followed him to the Konoha Gates.

Kakashi used his Summoning Technique and a pack of dogs appeared, all staring at the man. He told them to catch Sasuke’s or Naruto’s scent and to call him once they do. They all jumped at different sides, each searching through a different part. A few moments later, a howl from the side alerted both Kakashi and Akashi of their discovery.

And so, they went on their mission.

_

It was just after a while that Akashi felt it. The familiar burning sensation inside himself. His footing faltered and he crashed onto the ground. “Akashi?!” He barely heard Kakashi exclaim from above him, before he, too, joined him down. The redhead got up to his knees, the world around him spinning madly, making his head throb in pain.

What is this? These aren’t the chains… this… no…

He grabbed his head as he felt it almost splitting in half. A groan left his lips and he dropped his forehead onto the ground, shaking his head. “…Damn it…”. He forced out and then a shiver went down his spine. His skin felt hot… too hot. This can’t be happening. He thought. It was sealed! There’s no way it could happen!

Someone touched his burning skin and he whipped around, teeth grit in pain. The sight before him was blurry, but he could see the familiar silver hair of Kakashi. “…Sensei”. He whispered, feeling the pain intensify. It felt like his bones were breaking… this was too much. “…Stop…”. He mumbled. “Please stop”. He begged, but the feeling didn’t go away, it only seemed to get worse.

Kakashi was saying something incoherent, and Akashi couldn’t understand anything.

The last thing he felt were hands grabbing his shoulders, before he blacked out.

_

Here he was again.

In the same sewer as before. As always.

“Yet again… I find you here”. Akashi shuddered, slowly facing the crimson gate that held the being inside. It was peering at him from between the bars, glowing eyes thinking of ways to completely break him. “Why did you come?” It asked, as if it didn’t know why he was here.

“As if this isn’t your doing”. The boy found the little courage he had, to speak to the beast. Its eyes narrow at his words.

“I had no part in this”. Akashi’s eyes widen. He didn’t know if the fox was lying or not, but, looking at it now, he could only guess it was the latter.

“Then… why am I here? What is happening?” He asked. He really wanted to know what happened. Why was he here? Is something wrong?

The fox stayed silent, not answering his questions. Akashi patiently waited… and waited… and waited. But no answer came. Then, it was as if something dawned on him. That feeling he got, it had happened once before. During the Chunin exams, when Orochimaru attacked them. Naruto had used the Nine-Tails’s powers and Akashi had blacked out. This was probably caused by the same thing.

The fox noticed the boy’s expression had changed.

“You seem to have realized why you are here”. It said, and Akashi carefully nodded, thinking about if he should ask if that was possible. Taking a breath, he decided.

“Is it possible for me to sense when Naruto’s using his side of the Nine-Tails?” He asked, taking a small step back when the fox inched closer to the gate. It looked like it was thinking over its answer. Then, it opened its muzzle.

“My being was split into two”. That was all it said. But it was enough. Akashi had understood what it meant. It was possible. The two parts were parts of the same being, separated from one another, and placed in different carriers. But, they could sense one another.

It came as a surprise to Akashi, when the fox answered the question, but there was no point in thinking about it now.

Then, without another word, Akashi snapped himself back to reality.

_

He gasped when he came to. The sensations came back full force. His body was still burning, his head was still throbbing, but he forced himself to his feet. Kakashi had grabbed him by the forearm, but Akashi slapped his hand away. “I’m fine”. He growled out at him, not needing the help. He shook his head and it throbbed in return, making him wince.

“Naruto is in danger”. Kakashi’s eye widened at his words. “I don’t know how, but I can sense him when he uses the Nine-Tails’s Chakra…”. He trailed off, feeling a wave of pain inside his chest. He gripped the area over his heart and took a deep breath. “We need to hurry”. Without another word, he took off, Kakashi hot on his trail.

_

Only when they exited the forest, did they realize how hard the downpour of rain was coming down. In front of them were two giant statues of, what looked like, Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara. Akashi could sense Naruto was there, but there was only a faint trace of Sasuke’s Chakra left. He forced his legs to move faster, trying to reach Naruto.

His brother’s Chakra was almost depleted, so Akashi needed to hurry. One of Kakashi’s summoned dogs ran in front of them, showing them the way to Naruto, even though Akashi already knew where he was. Akashi followed after it, fearing for the worst. Once he saw Naruto’s frame, he darted past the dog and dropped on his knees next to his brother’s body.

He was breathing, but barely.

This was all Akashi’s fault.

If he had stopped Sasuke that night, none of this would have happened. Naruto wouldn’t be lying on, what could possibly be, his death bed. If only he wasn’t spewing his nonsense about ‘paths’, this could have been stopped. Grabbing Naruto’s cold hand, Akashi brought it up to his forehead, praying and praying that he would be fine. That this was nothing.

He clenched his eyes shut, feeling the tears mix with the rain that was falling on them. He sensed Kakashi crouch next to them. He cranked his eyes open when he felt Naruto’s body being raised up. Kakashi had taken him in his arms. “I’m sorry… for not getting here on time”. He heard the man speak to Naruto.

“Sensei… take Naruto and go, I’ll catch up to you”. Kakashi looked down at the kneeling boy. He was holding a forehead protector which had a scratch drawn over the Konoha symbol. It was Sasuke’s protector. Surprisingly, Akashi raised the hand which held it and placed it atop Naruto’s stomach. “Go… I’ll be right there”. Kakashi listened.

Once they were gone, he let it loose. The pain and grief inside him overflowed. The tears didn’t stop falling. His chest didn’t stop hurting. He sobbed and sobbed until his throat felt raw. Then, feeling like he didn’t punish himself enough, he let his screams out and he screamed.

He screamed and screamed until he could no longer form any words, until he was sure his throat was bleeding. Disappointment gnawed him at the back of his mind. Disappointment in himself and no one else. There was no one else he could blame, after all. This was all his doing.

And there was no way he could fix it.