Н‘¾Ð‘¯Ð‘¬Ð‘Μ Ð‘»Ð‘¯Ð‘¬ Н‘¾Ð‘°Ð‘Μ𝑫 Н‘©Ð‘³Ð‘¶Ð‘¾Ð‘º €¢Ð’Ƒ𝒙Н’Ƒ• The truth hurts

AN: Welp, I forgot to publish this one… ALSO

After the whole thing with the tattoo was done, Eagle had given him the ANBU gear he was required to wear. Akashi didn’t mind it that much, since it was similar to his standard clothes, but the only thing he did mind, were the colors. They were only black and gray…

Once he put it on, Eagle had approached him with a blade. “Is that for me?” His reply was a nod and the blade was in his hands. It felt awkward in his grip… too big. He slowly moved it around, trailing his eyes over the dark red hilt. The weight of it didn’t sit well with him, but it’ll do.

“The Hokage has requested your presence”. With that, Eagle disappeared from in front of him. Akashi sheathed the blade to his back and turned to the exit. He left the headquarters and glanced at the old lady who was guarding the entrance. She was blankly staring ahead, not even acknowledging his existence. Shaking his head, Akashi made his way to the Hokage Tower.

Once there, he was allowed entrance without even saying anything. “Guess being an ANBU has its perks”. He knocked on the door and once he heard a ‘come in’, he went inside. Tsunade was waiting for him behind her desk. As she caught sight of him, she sighed.

“I see you’ve got everything done…”. He slipped the mask off and looked at her.

“Yes, it took a while, but I managed”. She nodded and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the desk and intertwining her fingers.

“Did you get placed on a squad?” She asked, looking him over. The ANBU gear looked big on him, even when it was the right number. The blade on his back almost reached over his head… too big for him. Or was he just too small? A throb shook her body. What was she doing? He was too young for this… Her thoughts were interrupted when he spoke up.

“I was… Seems like I was placed on a tracking squad”. He answered.

“I see… What about the other squad members?” He grimaced at her words, remembering a certain annoying green-eyed boy. Noticing his reaction, she tilted her head. “Did something happen?” She asked.

Akashi huffed and crossed his arms, turning his head to the side. Tsunade could say it almost looked like he was pouting… She was kind of relieved to see him do that. He was acting his age… for once.

“I was tasked with sparing with one ANBU so Eagle could decide which squad to put me on. The one I sparred with turned out to be a guy I met a few times and, as expected, he wiped the floor with me. I used a seal, which made him proclaim that I was using tricks”. Akashi sighed, shaking his head. “To make things worse, Eagle put me on the guy’s squad”. Tsunade patiently listened to his words.

“What kind of seal did you use?” She asked, wondering what he did. The boy shifted on his feet and glanced at her.

“A blood seal”. Tsunade was taken aback at his words. Blood seal? Did those kind of seals even exist? She knew blood was used as a method for summoning, but she never heard about anyone using it for other things.

“A blood seal?” She dumbly repeated after him, making him nod his head.

“Yes”. Was his answer. She blinked, expecting an explanation, but she got none.

“Could you clarify?” She asked.

Akashi sighed and walked over to the couch on the side. He sat down and crossed his legs. Tsunade just watched him. “I figured it would be useful to use my blood as a seal in case I get hurt in battle”. Tsunade nodded, waiting for him to finish. “Which brought me to the conclusion that I can use it with my Chakra”. The Hokage furrowed her thin eyebrows, confusion written all over her face. Use it with Chakra? How?

“Seeing as though you still don’t understand, let me explain it in a more simple way”. He leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees. “Since the blood comes from my own body, it’s easier to connect my Chakra to it. Doing that, I can shape the blood into a seal”. He grinned at her, white teeth flashing in amusement. “Enemies would never suspect something like that, now would they?” He finished.

Tsunade couldn’t believe her ears. This boy, 12 years of age, developed a totally different way of using seals. That way was complicated and hard to use, since the user needed perfect Chakra control. That came easy to him, because he was already adept at using medical techniques. She almost started laughing. Who would have thought…

“That’s an interesting way of doing things”. That was an understatement.

Akashi leaned back, the smile no longer on his face. The wolf mask hung from his hand, fingers gently trailed over the red marks. “Sure is”. He said.

The two of them watched one another in silence, before Akashi broke it. “Does Kakashi know?” He asked, twirling the mask in his hand.

“No, he does not”. She answered. Kakashi didn’t know, since he was on a mission. “But he will”. She added. He will find out sooner or later… and she knew he wouldn’t be happy about that. She had heard about Kakashi’s time in the ANBU, how he followed every command, not minding the consequences and only focusing on the mission.

She had heard how ruthless he was. How cold and detached he became.

“I know… he’ll deal with it, I’m not worried”. He spoke up, a nonchalant expression taking place on his features. Tsunade couldn’t disagree more. One student became a missing ninja… One left the village for almost three years… One became her apprentice and now… One joined an organization Kakashi had left. He was left alone. She couldn’t help but shake her head in disbelief.

Kakashi was left alone once again.

“I think you overestimated him”. Akashi looked at her in disbelief. Overestimated? Kakashi? He almost laughed at that. He was sure the man could deal with it.

“I disagree”. He said while standing up. He gripped the mask in his hand and placed it over his face. “Now, if you don’t have anything else to speak with me about, I have a sensei to speak with”. He had sensed Kakashi’s arrival a while ago, and he knew where to find him.

Just as Akashi was about the exit the room, Tsunade spoke up. “Tell him to report back to me… and Akashi? You’ll find that I was right about overestimating him”. Without another word, Akashi disappeared through the door.

_

Akashi followed the Chakra signal to the graveyard. He found Kakashi standing in front of the K.I.A. stone, quietly looking at it. The boy could sense that his Chakra was in turmoil. Pain mixed in with grief, created a feeling so strong Akashi could almost feel it in his own body.

Kakashi was in so much pain.

How did he manage to keep that carefree face on?

How did he manage to fool everyone?

How does he manage to live like that?

“I know you’re there, come out”. His voice rang out, but he did not turn around. Akashi sighed and followed his order. He slowly walked up to the man, but he still didn’t turn around. “Did the Hokage call me? She normally doesn’t send ANBU for me”. It was then, that Akashi realized. Kakashi didn’t know it was him.

Not hearing an answer, the man turned around and faced Akashi. He had a blank face on and the boy could no longer sense the pain in grief in him. As Kakashi looked him over, he stopped at his hair. Of course it was the hair. Akashi saw his eye widen, before he took a small step back. “You…”, he trailed off, not able to get the words out, “… Akashi?” He asked.

Raising his hand, Akashi grabbed his mask and pulled it off. “Surprise?” His decision about being funny didn’t make things better. It made it worse. As Kakashi looked at the boy in front of himself, he wondered. Why did it have to end up like this? ANBU was no place for a child like him.

“Why?” He found himself asking, even as he knew he was the one at fault. If he had never mentioned the ANBU to him, maybe he wouldn’t be standing here in front of him. Standing here with the gear that looked too big on him. With a sword that was too long for his body. Then came the mask. Oh how Kakashi hated those masks. When he was a member of the ANBU, it almost became too late for him to take it off.

It almost became a part of him.

Shaking his head, he looked at the boy. “Why?” He repeated, wanting to hear him speak.

Akashi let his hand drop, limply holding the mask in it. “Because I have nothing else”. He answered and Kakashi almost laughed at the situation at hand. He almost laughed at how similar he and the boy are. “I have nothing left, I have nobody left… What was I supposed to do?” Akashi asked, lowering his head, finding his feet interesting, all of a sudden.

“Anything! Anything other than this!” The boy flinched as Kakashi raised his voice. “Why do you insist on throwing your life away?! On wasting it like this?!” Akashi took a step back away from the man, a surprised expression on his face. Kakashi had never raised his voice at him. Never. So this came as a shock to him. Tsunade was right. He had overestimated Kakashi.

But, he remembered something. Kakashi had also been in the ANBU when he was young, so why was he yelling at him now? “You’re being hypocritical, haven’t you also been in the ANBU?! What’s so wrong with me wanting the same?!” He argued back, an angry expression taking place. “Huh?! Answer me!” He had expected Kakashi to yell at him again, but the thing he expected least, came out of his mouth instead.

“Your mother wouldn’t want this”. It was like a blade pierced through Akashi’s heart. He couldn’t believe this. Kakashi was using his mother against him. He took another step back, face wiped blank. Then, a small chuckle left his lips, before a full-blown laugh followed after. Kakashi watched in silence as the boy in front of him laughed and laughed and laughed.

“I can’t believe you’ve done that… use my mother against me? That’s a low blow, sensei”. He said once he stopped his laughter. His face was flushed, he grinned and his teeth flashed. “What now? Are you going to use my father too?” He asked and Kakashi decided, that yes… yes he will.

“Neither Kushina… nor Minato would have wanted this”. He admitted and saw the grin slip from Akashi’s face. The boy stumbled back, almost tripping on his feet. His eyes were blown wide, lips parted open. Kakashi could only imagine how fast his heart was beating.

Akashi felt the grass crunch beneath his feet. The mask slipped from his fingers, falling onto the ground with a soundless ‘thud’. He could hear nothing except the harsh ringing in his ears. He could feel his heart thumping inside his chest, his body shaking to the fast-paced beats.

As Kakashi watched the boy’s reaction… his heart clenched in pain.

Akashi blinked his eyes, trying to clear the blurriness away. Minato? Minato? Minato? Minato? Minato? Namikaze Minato? Fourth Hokage Minato? How did he not realize this? All the secrecy around the subject of his parents, and the most obvious proof had been right in front of him.

Naruto was almost a spitting image of the man.

His throat felt raw all of a sudden and he swallowed a lump. He threw a barely put together glare towards Kakashi. “You… I knew you fucking knew! You were his fucking student and yet you said nothing!” He screamed at him, voice constantly breaking from all the emotions overwhelming his being. “And this is how I find out?!” He pointed his gloved finger at him.

“Akas-!” Kakashi took a step forward while saying his name, but Akashi spoke up. “No! Don’t you dare! This is wrong! This is so fucking wrong!” He stepped even further away. His body was violently shaking. Once Kakashi tried to step closer again, Akashi wildly shook his head. “Stay away from me!” He yelled at him.

Kakashi watched as the tears slipped down the boy’s cheeks, but he didn’t seem to notice.

Akashi looked down at the ground and clenched his eyes shut. The ringing didn’t stop. The throbbing didn’t stop. It was just getting worse.

It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

It hurt.

His body hurt… his soul hurt… his everything fucking hurt.

This wasn’t happening. This can’t be happening. Why did he have to find out like this? Why couldn’t he have found out sooner? His hands clenched at his sides and he stood in place, body silently shaking with every sob that wrecked his body.

This felt worse than when he couldn’t cry, because now, the tears wouldn’t stop.

“Why?” He whimpered, barely managing to form the letters together. He desperately wanted to know why. Why did they hide the fact that he was his son? Why?

“It was to protect you… Minato-sensei was a strong ninja, and with that, enemies came…”, Kakashi said, “…most people didn’t even know Kushina was married to him, even less knew that she had his children”. He finished, but that didn’t make Akashi feel better… not at all.

His arms wound up around him and his head lowered down. He bit his lips to stop the sobs from leaving his lips. It worked, but then, he felt a sting as his teeth broke through the tended skin of his lip. He ignored the obvious blood that came right after.

“To protect me?” He let out a humorless laugh at his words. “I was doomed the moment he sealed that thing inside of me!” He screamed out and Kakashi took a step back. “What kind of parent seals the Nine-Tails inside of their own child?!” His hands fell to his sides and his fingers started twitching. Kakashi had nothing to say to that.

“Let me tell you… a fucking lunatic“. He growled out and a moment later, he was thrown to the ground, with Kakashi hovering over him. Akashi laughed out loud when he saw the glare aimed at him. “What? You don’t like me telling the truth? Because that is what it was… the truth. It’s no wonder you don’t like it… you never speak it”. Kakashi grit his teeth as his glare grew harsher, but he stayed silent.

“I loathe you… You don’t understand how much I fucking loathe you…”. Akashi whispered, each word heavy with pain. He leaned his head back into the soft grass and looked up at the sky. The clear, blue sky. A moment later, Kakashi was thrown back and Akashi stood up, grabbing his discarded mask.

With one last look cast towards Kakashi, he waved his mask in the air. “This is all I’m left with”. He put it on and turned around, leaving Kakashi in front of the stone.

Alone.

Like before.

_

He ran across the rooftops of the village, ignoring everything around him and headed to the only place he could have peace.

The Hokage Mountain.

Now, as he looked over their rock faces, stopping at one in particular, he realized he could no longer have peace there. Still, he climbed up, but this time, he chose another Hokage.

Namikaze Minato.

He went atop and sat down, looking over the village. The sun was beginning to set, but the orange rays Akashi used to find beautiful, just fueled his new-found hate. “Why did you do this to your own sons?” He asked out loud. “Why did you doom us to never-ending pain?” He pulled his knees to his body and took his mask off, setting it next to him, before lowering his head.

“I hate you”. He mumbled into his knees, the words coming out muffled because of the fabric.

“I detest you”. He whispered.

“I despise you”. He bit out through clenched teeth.

“I loathe you”. He growled out.

He closed his eyes, trying to calm down.

“I never knew you… I’ll never know you… You will only ever be a name for me. I will only see your face in pictures and on this mountain”. He raised his head, looking at the setting sun. “You will never be in my memories, or a part of my life”. He watched as the sun disappeared and the night sky took its place.

“And yet…”, he trailed off, “…I feel this inexplicable abhorrence at every thought of you”. There was no full moon that night.

But he could feel its cold rays tearing through him.