Н‘¾Ð‘¯Ð‘¬Ð‘Μ Ð‘»Ð‘¯Ð‘¬ Н‘¾Ð‘°Ð‘Μ𝑫 Н‘©Ð‘³Ð‘¶Ð‘¾Ð‘º €¢Ð’Ƒ𝒙Н’Ƒ• Ache

Nobody came to visit him after Naruto left… Nobody…

The nurses came a few times to check up on him, but that was it.

Time passed…

And it passed…

It just passed…

_

When the day of his release came, he felt relieved. He was no longer going to be stuck in that pale coloured room. He will no longer stare out of the window and watch as the sun went down and up, down and up, down and up as each day passed him by.

So, with nothing holding him back, he grabbed his things and went home.

_

Tsunade hadn’t visited him again. He wasn’t surprised, after all, she felt too guilty to speak with him.

He couldn’t sense anyone from Team Kakashi in the village, so the only possible answer would be that they were on a mission.

A mission without him.

Team 7 had split up again.

_

He laid in his comfortable bed, but it gave him no comfort.

Sorry… That was what everyone said to him. Sorry… That was the word that went out of their mouths. Sorry… He still couldn’t understand what it meant. He realised that he never will…

What was he supposed to do now? He was no longer a part of ANBU… It felt like he was no longer a part of Team 7 either… What was he supposed to do now?

_

His body felt weak.

His senses were dulled.

Static was all he could hear…

… And he couldn’t keep the food down…

_

A churn inside his stomach made him arch his back in discomfort. The feeling was almost unbearable. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He needed food, but his body was denying everything.

It got too used to not having anything inside it.

_

He felt like he was losing his mind.

The darkness of his room wasn’t making things better… But…

… He knew the light would be worse…

_

The night had fallen long before he went out. The street lights did nothing, but make him look away from their brightness. He walked and walked and walked… and stopped. Pale eyes glanced up and were met with a place long forgotten. The giant, majestic oak tree which stood before him brought back memories long forgotten.

Thin fingers graze the rough surface of the wooden bark. “It feels like a lifetime had passed…”. The whisper was carried away by the cold, night breeze and he realised.

He really was alone now.

Cracked lips pressed together and he leaned forward. The tree held memories… Memories which he wants to erase from his mind, but never forget, at the same time. “Shinya… What am I supposed to do now?” The question went without answer…

…

“What do you mean?” He received a question back. The ebony-haired male turned to face him with furrowed brows.

Akashi released a sigh, before he rolled over to him, violet eyes clashing with green ones. “Exactly what I asked… What am I supposed to do now?” He repeated the question and Shinya hummed at his words.

“I’m not sure…? Live life, I guess?” His lips stretched into a smile and Akashi huffed at his answer. He spread his arms and one of them ended up across Shinya’s stomach.

“That’s not very helpful…”. A snort resounded next to him and he clicked his tongue. “Nor was that snort”. He added and laughter immediately followed his words. A hand grabbed his and he was pulled closer to the other boy.

“Sorry for not being helpful”. Warm fingers grazed down his cheek and he felt the summer breeze at the back of his neck. Moss-green eyes shone in the sun’s bright rays. Akashi could confidently say that they were brighter than the sun itself. “I’m not good with things like that”. Was the unexpected confession he got. He reached a hand forward and placed it besides Shinya’s head, slightly leaning down.

“You don’t have to be good”. A small smile spread across Shinya’s features. Akashi felt his heart throb inside his chest. Who knew such a small thing could make him feel things like this? Feel so safe… So protected… So loved… Without a second thought, he closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together.

Shinya wasted no time in prying his lips apart. Hands bigger than his grabbed at his waist and he was soon met with the sight of thick, green leaves from above them. His eyes fluttered shut and he relaxed his body. Shinya tilted his head and dove back in, leaving no space between them. Their limbs fumbled together and he gripped at Shinya’s shoulders once warm fingers brushed down his bare sides.

He moved his head to the side, separating their lips to toake a deep breathe. “We’re in public… It’s indecent…”. A laugh above him made him narrow his eyes. “What’s so funny?” He asked, but the only reply he got, was that sinful tongue of the other boy, lick a stripe up his neck. “Shinya…!” Alarmed, he looked at the older boy, but was met with a wide grin.

“Oh, come on! Indecent? Weren’t you the one who kissed me first?” Akashi pushed the hand away as it pinched at his cheek.

“Yes, a little kiss! You’re the one who flipped me on the ground and shoved a tongue down my throat!” Shinya snorted and turned away, covering his lips with a hand. Akashi let out a sigh, letting his head fall back onto the ground. “You’re unbelievable…”. He whispered and closed his eyes. When silence filled the space around him, he peered one eye open and found himself being stared at. “What?” He demanded, raising an eyebrow at the other boy.

“I love you”. Those moss-green eyes of his… They looked at him and it was as if every ounce of breath was taken from his lungs, floating into the air like midnight smoke. As if everything revolved around his existence. As if he was the only thing in this world. They looked at him as if he was the one who brought meaning into his life, the one who breathed life into his being. “I love you”. He repeated and Akashi’s ears were filled with static. Gently fingers grazed at his cheek, before they were pulled back.

“You… love me?” He asked, words coming out like a whisper, but Shinya had heard them, judging by the light curling of his lips.

“Yeah, I do”. No words could describe how he was feeling now…

Scared? Relieved? Satisfied? Happy?

“There’s no need for an immediate answer… I can wait…”. Akashi sat up, face inches away from the other boy’s. “I will wait for as long as I need to wait…”. Shinya leaned forward, barely brushing his lips against Akashi’s jaw. “I will wait for the rest of my life…”, he pressed an open mouthed kiss on the side of his lips, “…if that’s what it takes to hear those words come out of your lips”. Akashi closed his eyes as their lips connected once more. Arms wrapped around the older boy and Akashi felt himself shudder as nimble fingers grasp at the hem of his shirt and warm skin brushed his own.

Without another word, Akashi activated a seal and the two of them found themselves in the middle of Akashi’s living room. “Those seals of your are more useful that I thought”. Shinya leaned back with a grin on his face and Akashi groaned at his words.

“Way to ruin the mood…”. He complained, before a yelp left his lips as he was picked up.

“Ruin the mood? It’s just about to get better, don’t you think?” Shinya marched towards his bedroom and kicked the door open.

“Oi! Easy with the door!” He received no answer as he was promptly dropped onto the bed and Shinya climbed over him.

“Sorry…”. Long fingers grabbed at the hem of his shirt and Shinya looked at him, waiting for approval. Akashi couldn’t help but feel some sort of fondness fill him at the sight. He was sure Shinya would stop if he asked him to… But Akashi didn’t want him to stop. As the older boy received a smile in reply, he gently raised the shirt over Akashi’s head. “I’ll take good care of you”. The redhead snorted and shook his head.

“Please don’t say that again”. Shinya let out a laugh as he reached for the bottom of his own shirt. Before he could take it off, hands covered his own. “Let me…”. He watched as the younger boy sat up, violet eyes glancing up at him. Who was he to say no to that?

“Okay…”. Shinya whispered and watched the thin fingers slowly, almost sensually, trailed over his skin as they pulled the shirt up. He audibly swallowed and Akashi let out a sharp exhale of breath as he hurriedly looked away. “Are you laughing at me?” Shinya asked in disbelief, eyes comically widening. He received no answer as the shirt was harshly yanked off him and thrown somewhere to the side.

“No”. That didn’t sound convincing… Not at all… Pouting, Shinya leaned forward and pushed Akashi down by his shoulders.

“You most definitely were!” He accused, watching as the boy went into a full-blown laughing fit at his accusation. His obnoxious laughter echoed through the room, but Shinya felt nothing but happiness at the sound of it.

He hoped he could make him laugh like that all of the time.

Every single day.

“The mood is definitely ruined…”. He sighed and dropped down next to the still laughing boy. It took a few more moments for him to calm down.

“I agree…”. Akashi shifted to the side and threw an arm across Shinya’s stomach, pulling him closer. He closed his eyes and nuzzled into him, breathing out a sigh in comfort. He wished he would never have to get up from this bed. He wished he would never leave Shinya’s side.

He wished Shinya would never leave his side.

“You asked me what you were supposed to do now, right?” The question came out of the blue and Akashi nodded against the boy’s shoulder.

“Yeah… You have an answer for me?” He asked and Shinya shifted so they were at eye-level. They started at one another in silence for a brief moment of time, before Shinya began.

“You should live life one step at a time… Live each day as it comes and goes… Live life how you want to live it…”. He trailed off, eyes closing for a moment, before they opened up again. “I want to be by your side if you’d let me… To be with you each day of your life…”, a finger trailed down his cheek, “… Each week of your life…”, it went down his jaw, “… Each month of your life…”, his neck, “… Each year of your life…”, Shinya leaned forward, lips inches away from his own, “… For as long as we are on this earth, together, I wish to be with you…”. Their lips pressed together.

“I’ll wait for as long as I need… So I can hear your words mirror mine… I love you…”.

…

The old oak tree in front of him creaked as a strong wind blew by. Its giant branches gave out a quiet hiss as the thickets of leaves were ruffled by the very same wind.

He ached when he remembered his smile. He wished for it to be directed at him again. For him. Because of him. He wished to bring him joy again, be the cause of those brightly lit eyes. He wished to feel the warmth he had given him.

He tried so hard. He worked so hard. He fought for every step he took, even thought it was in the wrong direction. He wanted to fly, and now he was… But only ground awaited him.

Sometimes… He felt guilty. Guilty for everything that had happened. Guilty for all the things that never happened.

He’s never been heartbroken before… And damn… It hurt…

If they were to find a way to speak again, he wondered how he would react. Seeing him like this… Broken and alone. With no one by his side.

He wondered if it would be better to let the memories fade away from his mind. Fade away like they were never there.

But he can’t let go.

They were each other’s kindred spirit. So similar to one another.

He wished to be at his side… To be reunited with him… To see those eyes of his once more…

But some things were not meant to be.

He wished for him to return. He wished he would dry his tears. He wished he would take away the pain and anger he feels.

That childish wish of his was unattainable and he knew it.

Not much time had passed since that faithful night…

The ache will never pass.

Then, he remembered those words that he had said.

“I will wait for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to hear those words come out of your lips”.

Who would have thought that the day he heard those words, would be his last.