Warning: Trans Vincent
Vincent stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, the dim light casting shadows over his face. He studied the reflection as if searching for something familiar, something real, but what stared back at him felt like a ghost-unrecognizable, hollow, and foreign. His long black hair fell over his shoulders in soft waves, the same hair everyone admired, the same hair he despised.
He reached up and grabbed a handful of it, tugging hard as if he could rip it out, make it disappear. **This isn’t me,** he thought. It never had been.
From the outside, Vanessa was perfect-beautiful, delicate, with a body people praised. Friends had always envied her, men had always desired her, but all of that was meaningless. None of it felt right. Inside, it felt like she was suffocating, drowning in the skin she was forced to wear. It had taken years to understand what was wrong, and even longer to admit it to herself.
**I’m Vincent,** he thought. **I’ve always been Vincent.** The name felt right in a way nothing else ever had, like it had been hiding there all along, waiting for him to finally say it. But how could he tell anyone? How could he explain that everything they thought they knew about him-her-was a lie? That he had never been Vanessa, the girl everyone loved and admired.
And Rody…
Vincent’s chest tightened painfully at the thought of his fiancé. Rody, with his easy smile and green eyes that always seemed to brighten when he looked at him. They had been together for years, and through every moment, every shared laugh, every kiss, Vincent had felt the weight of this secret pressing down on him.
What would Rody think? Would he still love him once he knew the truth?
Vincent had tried to push those thoughts away, to convince himself that he could live like this, that he could make Rody happy as Vanessa. But it was suffocating, this lie. Every day felt like a battle just to keep going, to smile, to play the part of the woman everyone expected him to be.
But he couldn’t do it anymore. He had reached his breaking point, and if he didn’t tell Rody now, he felt like he might shatter completely.
The sound of the front door opening snapped him out of his thoughts. Rody was home. Vincent’s heart raced, panic rising in his chest as he turned away from the mirror, wiping the tears that had begun to spill down his cheeks. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
**You have to tell him. It’s now or never.**
—
Rody was in the kitchen, rifling through the fridge, when Vincent stepped out of the bathroom. He was still wearing his work clothes-black slacks and a half-buttoned shirt, his sleeves rolled up messily, exposing his strong forearms. The sight of him made Vincent’s chest tighten with a familiar ache, a longing he had tried to bury for so long. But tonight, that longing felt like a wound, raw and painful.
Rody turned when he heard Vincent approach, his usual bright smile lighting up his face. **”Hey, babe,”** he said, his voice warm. **”You hungry? I was thinking of ordering pizza-“**
**”Rody,”** Vincent interrupted, his voice trembling slightly. **”We need to talk.”**
Rody’s smile faltered, his brows knitting together in concern as he stepped closer to Vincent. **”What’s wrong?”** he asked, his tone gentle, as if he could already sense the weight of what was coming.
Vincent’s hands shook as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hold himself together. He looked away, unable to meet Rody’s eyes. **”I… I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve been lying to you,”** he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. **”I’ve been lying to everyone.”**
Rody’s frown deepened, confusion and worry flickering in his green eyes. **”What do you mean? Vanessa, talk to me.”**
Vincent flinched at the name-**Vanessa**. That name didn’t belong to him. Not anymore.
**”That’s just it,”** he said, his voice breaking. **”I’m not Vanessa. I’ve never been Vanessa. I’ve been pretending for so long, trying to be someone I’m not, and it’s killing me.”**
The room felt like it was closing in on him, the air too thick, too heavy. He couldn’t breathe. He forced himself to meet Rody’s gaze, his heart pounding so loudly he thought it might drown out his words.
**”I’m a man, Rody. I always have been. My name is Vincent.”**
The silence that followed was unbearable. Rody just stared at him, his expression unreadable, his eyes wide with shock. Vincent’s chest tightened painfully, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps as he waited for Rody to say something, anything.
But Rody didn’t speak. He just stood there, frozen, his hands hanging limply at his sides.
**He’s going to leave,** Vincent thought. **He’s going to walk out that door and never come back.**
The fear was overwhelming, suffocating. He had risked everything by telling Rody the truth, and now it felt like his entire world was crumbling around him. He took a shaky step back, wrapping his arms tighter around himself, as if he could protect himself from the hurt that was coming.
**”I’m sorry,”** Vincent whispered, tears spilling down his cheeks. **”I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just… I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to lose you.”**
Rody finally moved, taking a slow, hesitant step toward Vincent. His face was still filled with shock, but there was something else there too-something Vincent couldn’t quite read.
**”Vincent,”** Rody said softly, his voice careful, like he was trying out the name for the first time. **”Why didn’t you tell me?”**
Vincent swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it difficult to speak. **”I was scared,”** he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. **”I didn’t think you’d understand. I didn’t think you’d still want me.”**
Rody’s expression softened, and he took another step forward, closing the distance between them. He reached out, his hand gently cupping Vincent’s cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear.
**”Why would you think I wouldn’t want you?”** Rody asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Vincent choked back a sob, shaking his head. **”Because I’m not the person you thought you were in love with. I’m not Vanessa. I’m Vincent, and I don’t know if you can love me like this.”**
Rody’s hand didn’t waver. He kept his palm pressed against Vincent’s cheek, his eyes searching Vincent’s face for a long moment before he spoke.
**”I fell in love with you,”** Rody said quietly. **”Not your name, not the way you look, not the person everyone thinks you are. You. If you’re Vincent, then that’s who I love. That’s who I want.”**
The words felt like a balm to Vincent’s raw, aching heart. He had been so terrified that Rody would reject him, that this revelation would ruin everything they had built together. But here Rody was, still holding him, still looking at him with the same tenderness he always had.
**”I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman,”** Rody continued, his voice steady. **”I love you, and nothing’s going to change that.”**
Vincent let out a shaky breath, the relief crashing over him like a wave. He leaned into Rody’s touch, his eyes closing as the tears kept coming, but now they were tears of something else-relief, gratitude, maybe even hope.
Rody pulled him into his arms, holding him close, his hands running through Vincent’s black hair, the hair that Vincent would soon cut away. **”We’ll figure this out together,”** Rody whispered. **”You don’t have to go through this alone.”**
For the first time in what felt like forever, Vincent allowed himself to believe it. To believe that he could finally be who he was without fear. With Rody by his side, maybe he didn’t have to be alone anymore.
Vincent melted into Rody’s embrace, clutching at his shirt like a lifeline. It felt surreal, this moment-like he had been living in darkness for so long, and now there was a sliver of light piercing through. He had never thought that anyone, especially Rody, would accept him like this. The weight of years of pretending, of lying to himself and to the world, felt like it was slowly lifting. But even in Rody’s arms, even with the promise of love and acceptance, that weight wasn’t entirely gone.
There was still fear.
**”What if you change your mind?”** Vincent whispered, his voice so soft it almost got lost in the sound of Rody’s heartbeat against his ear. **”What if one day you wake up and realize you don’t want me anymore? That I’m not what you signed up for?”**
Rody’s arms tightened around him, his voice firm but gentle. **”That’s not going to happen, Vincent. I love you for who you are. And who you are… it’s always been you, no matter what name you use or how you look. I’m not going anywhere.”**
Vincent wanted to believe him. He wanted so badly to trust that Rody’s love wouldn’t waver, that this wouldn’t turn into another thing he had to lose. But that doubt lingered, a cold knot in the pit of his stomach. He had lost so much already in his life, and it had always been when he let his guard down, when he allowed himself to hope.
He pulled away slightly, just enough to look into Rody’s eyes. **”You say that now,”** he murmured, his voice tinged with sadness. **”But this is going to change things. I’m going to change. What if I’m not the person you want anymore?”**
Rody frowned, his brow furrowing in thought. He took Vincent’s hands in his own, his thumbs brushing over Vincent’s knuckles as if grounding him, keeping him tethered to the present. **”You are the person I want,”** he said, his voice steady. **”And if things change, we’ll deal with it. Together. I can’t promise it’ll be easy, but I can promise you I’m not going to walk away because of this.”**
Vincent’s heart ached at the sincerity in Rody’s words. He could hear the truth in them, but it didn’t stop the fear. It didn’t stop the memories of how he had always been treated as if he were disposable, as if he wasn’t enough. His parents had always wanted Vanessa-the perfect daughter, the image of what they expected. They never wanted Vincent. They never wanted *him*.
**”It’s not just about us, though,”** Vincent said, his voice trembling. **”What about your family? What about everyone else? They won’t see me the way you do. They’ll see me as… as something wrong.”** He could feel the panic rising in his chest, the tightness in his throat making it hard to breathe. **”They’ll see me as a mistake.”**
Rody’s expression softened, his hand moving to cup Vincent’s face again, his thumb gently stroking his cheek. **”You’re not a mistake,”** he whispered, his voice full of conviction. **”You’re not wrong. And I don’t care what anyone else thinks. If they can’t accept you, that’s their problem, not yours. Not ours.”**
But Vincent could feel the weight of the world closing in. He knew what people would say, what they would whisper behind their backs. And worse, what his own family might think. His parents had always been strict, traditional. They had barely tolerated the idea of him marrying Rody, let alone this.
What would they do when they found out?
Rody must have seen the fear in Vincent’s eyes, because he pulled him closer again, pressing his forehead against Vincent’s. **”I’m here,”** Rody said softly, his breath warm against Vincent’s skin. **”I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. Not your family, not mine. We’ll face them together.”**
Vincent wanted to believe him. He wanted to take that promise and cling to it, but the scars of his past were too deep. His parents’ words, their constant comparisons to what they had expected from him, echoed in his mind. He had spent his entire life trying to fit into their mold, trying to be the daughter they wanted. But it was never enough.
He wasn’t enough.
**”I don’t know if I can face them,”** Vincent admitted, his voice breaking. **”I don’t know if I can handle losing them all over again.”**
Rody’s grip on him tightened, his eyes filled with understanding and a fierce protectiveness that Vincent had come to rely on. **”You won’t lose me,”** he said firmly. **”And if your family can’t accept who you are, then they don’t deserve you. You don’t owe them anything, Vincent. You don’t owe anyone anything except yourself.”**
Vincent let out a shaky breath, his hands trembling as he clung to Rody. He didn’t know if he could do this, if he could step into the unknown and risk everything. But in Rody’s arms, with Rody’s unwavering support, he felt a little braver. A little stronger.
**”I’m scared,”** Vincent whispered, the admission raw and vulnerable.
Rody nodded, his lips brushing against Vincent’s forehead in a soft, reassuring kiss. **”I know,”** he whispered back. **”I’m scared too. But we’ll figure it out. One step at a time, okay?”**
Vincent swallowed hard, nodding as tears spilled over again, this time from a mixture of fear and the overwhelming love he felt for Rody. **”Okay,”** he whispered, his voice trembling but determined.
For the first time in his life, Vincent felt like maybe-just maybe-he could be himself. That he could be Vincent, not Vanessa, not the person everyone else wanted him to be. And with Rody by his side, maybe he didn’t have to face the world alone.
But even as he allowed himself to hope, the fear still lingered. The world outside their little apartment was cruel, unforgiving. And though Rody had promised to stand by him, Vincent knew the road ahead would be long and difficult. There would be days when the doubt would creep back in, days when the weight of it all would feel like too much to bear.
But for now, in this moment, he held on to Rody’s promise. And that was enough.
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