Dead Plate Oneshots Morning Clinginess

Richard trudged down the hallway, scrubbing his eyes awake as he sniffed out the faint promise of coffee. He rounded the corner into the kitchen, hoping for the usual sight of Rody clumsily brewing coffee while half asleep. Instead, his steps halted, eyes widening at a scene that, even in his wildest dreams (or, rather, nightmares), he wouldn’t have thought he’d witness.

Rody was at the coffee maker, as expected, his broad shoulders slumped and one hand lazily pushing buttons on the machine. But that’s where normalcy ended. Attached to his front, like some oversized clingy koala, was none other than Vincent. His pale, lanky legs were wrapped securely around Rody’s waist, and his arms clung around Rody’s neck, his head nestled just under Rody’s chin as if he were some sort of oversized child.

And Rody? He didn’t even look fazed. He stood there, calmly pouring himself a cup of coffee, looking so deadpan about it all, it was borderline alarming.

Richard blinked. Hard. Then he blinked again, but the sight didn’t vanish.

“Uh…good morning?” Richard finally stammered, raising an eyebrow as his gaze shifted between his two roommates.

Rody just glanced up, giving a sleepy nod. “Mornin’,” he said, voice gravelly with sleep, as if nothing was out of the ordinary at all. He took a sip from his cup, holding it with one hand while the other casually patted Vincent’s back. Vincent, however, remained silent, looking half asleep himself as he nuzzled closer to Rody’s shoulder.

Richard coughed, hoping that would snap either of them out of this… whatever this was. When that didn’t work, he spoke up, louder this time. “Care to explain why you’re… carrying Vincent? Or, actually, why Vincent’s, um, hanging off you like aa koala baby?”

Rody shrugged, shifting his weight so Vincent could readjust his grip. “Vin gets clingy in the morning,” he said, as if this explained anything. “If I shake him off, he’ll just latch back on. So, figured it’s easier to just… y’know, carry him around until he wakes up properly.”

Richard’s jaw dropped, his brain doing mental backflips to process what he’d just heard. “Wait… so this… this happens often?”

“Oh, yeah,” Rody replied nonchalantly, pausing to spoon sugar into his coffee. “Pretty much every morning.”

Vincent’s eyes blinked open a fraction, and he peered at Richard with a dark, drowsy expression that made Richard shiver. “You’re so loud…” he murmured, his words barely a whisper.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I interrupt your little—whatever this is?” Richard snapped, crossing his arms. “I’m just trying to understand why Rody’s morning routine now includes being used as a human tree.”

Vincent smirked, looking rather pleased with himself, and tightened his arms around Rody’s neck with a sigh of satisfaction. “Rody doesn’t mind,” he mumbled, his tone dripping with a smug satisfaction that only irritated Richard more.

“No, yeah, I mean, I’m used to it,” Rody said, giving Vincent another reassuring pat as if he were dealing with a clingy cat. “He’s like this when he’s barely awake. Honestly, it’s easier than dealing with him cranky.”

Richard pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the beginnings of a headache. “This is insane,” he muttered, casting Vincent an incredulous look. “Why not just, I don’t know, sleep in your own bed?”

Vincent shot him a look, eyebrow raised. “Oh, Richard, you wouldn’t understand. Rody here… he’s warm,” he murmured, almost dreamily, pressing his cheek against Rody’s chest.

Rody, unfazed, reached for the coffee pot again and poured a second cup. “Want some?” he offered, holding it up towards Vincent, who gratefully took it, keeping one arm hooked around Rody’s neck while he sipped with the other hand.

Richard stared, almost too dumbfounded to speak. “Rody… is this really normal for you?”

Rody just shrugged, taking another long sip of his own coffee. “I mean… yeah? He’s like a human octopus first thing in the morning. Just gotta roll with it, y’know?” He glanced down at his coffee, then at the extra cup in Vincent’s hands, and gave a faint grin. “Besides, it’s kinda funny.”

“Funny,” Richard repeated, looking like he’d just walked into the Twilight Zone. “Right. Okay, sure. I’ll just pretend that this is normal. You two have your… coffee cuddle… thing, I’ll just… yeah, I’ll just go,” he muttered, waving a hand dismissively as he retreated.

“Suit yourself,” Rody said with a chuckle, lifting his cup in a small toast as Richard disappeared down the hall, still muttering to himself. He glanced back at Vincent, who had already resumed his half-asleep state, still firmly attached.

“Guess it’s just you and me, then,” Rody said, giving Vincent a gentle nudge.

Vincent hummed, his eyes half-lidded as he mumbled, “Good… just how I like it.”

Rody chuckled, reaching for the sugar and dropping a spoonful into Vincent’s coffee cup while he held onto him like some sleepy sloth. The whole scene had become so absurdly familiar that it felt almost comforting to him, even if it probably looked ridiculous to anyone else.

“Want some toast?” Rody asked, moving toward the fridge with Vincent still latched on.

Vincent let out a contented sigh, lifting his head just enough to peer lazily at Rody. “Only if it has marmalade.”

“Of course, Mr. Picky,” Rody teased, grinning as he maneuvered through the kitchen, careful not to jostle Vincent too much.

Rody had just put bread into the toaster when Richard poked his head around the corner again, looking slightly more awake but still visibly disturbed.

“Okay, seriously, I tried to ignore it, but… are you two gonna stay like this all day?” Richard asked, eyeing Vincent with a mix of confusion and horror. “I mean, how long does it take him to wake up?”

Vincent raised his head, giving Richard a bleary-eyed glare. “I *am* awake, Richard. Just… comfortable.” He punctuated this by snuggling his head right back against Rody’s chest.

Richard scoffed, folding his arms. “Right, comfortable. So, Rody, what, do you just carry him around like a backpack until he decides he’s had enough?”

“Pretty much,” Rody replied casually, turning back to buttering the toast that had popped up. “At this point, it’s second nature. Besides, I’ve gotten pretty good at doing things one-handed.” He demonstrated by expertly spreading the marmalade with a single hand, grinning proudly as he presented the toast to Vincent, who took a big bite without bothering to let go.

“That’s actually… impressive,” Richard admitted reluctantly, but then shook his head, as if reminding himself of how bizarre the situation was. “Still! This isn’t normal. I mean, imagine if someone dropped by right now. How would you even explain this?”

Rody shrugged, biting into his own toast. “I’d say, ‘This is Vincent, my morning accessory.’ Problem solved.”

Vincent, now a bit more awake, rolled his eyes. “You’re just mad because nobody would want to cling to you like this,” he retorted, his voice filled with sleepy sarcasm.

Richard sputtered, glancing around in exaggerated offense. “Excuse me! I’m *plenty* cling-worthy, thank you very much. But, I dunno, maybe I’m just not as touchy-feely as you two.”

Vincent snorted softly, tightening his hold on Rody in a subtle but defiant way. “Some of us just appreciate warmth,” he murmured, sounding like a satisfied cat curling up on its favorite spot.

Rody chuckled, giving Vincent’s back a gentle pat. “Yeah, Richard, maybe you just don’t get it. Besides,” he added, shooting a playful look at him, “it’s kind of nice to have someone around in the mornings. Otherwise, it’d just be me and my coffee every day.”

Richard shook his head, a smirk tugging at his lips despite himself. “Yeah, right, you’d probably just drink straight from the pot if he wasn’t around. Besides, I don’t know how you even drink coffee with *him* hanging off you like that.”

“It’s a skill, alright? You get used to it,” Rody replied with a proud grin, reaching for the coffee pot to refill Vincent’s cup. Vincent took it gratefully, taking another sip and finally beginning to look somewhat human again.

Richard just sighed, shaking his head as he leaned against the counter. “Okay, fine, I’ll leave you two… weirdos to your routine. But one of these days, you’re going to have to explain to me how any of this started.”

Rody raised his cup in mock salute. “Guess you’ll have to stick around longer in the mornings if you want the full story, huh?”

“Oh, trust me, I think I’d rather keep my sanity intact.” With a final chuckle, Richard gave them both one last baffled look and headed off, muttering under his breath, “I live in a madhouse…”

Rody and Vincent shared a small laugh as they heard Richard grumbling all the way down the hall. Vincent, now fully awake, gave Rody a soft smile. “He doesn’t get it,” he murmured, looking up at Rody with a twinkle in his eye.

“Nah,” Rody replied, resting his cheek against the top of Vincent’s head. “But that’s alright. We can keep him on his toes.”

Vincent let out a small, contented sigh, leaning his head on Rody’s shoulder as they finished their breakfast in comfortable silence. And for Rody, this was just another morning that, for all its quirks, felt perfectly right.