Deafening Silence Ch. 8

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They ended up sitting across from each other in a dimly lit restaurant not too far from them. Presumably Derek had decided against going to his family’s eatery. If any of the stories he’d told the baker were true they would be persistent in injecting themselves into their time together and Stiles could barely get comfortable around Derek alone.

Stiles didn’t know what he was doing. He honestly couldn’t tell you the first thing about dating, let alone having a soul mate. They closed up the shop, and Derek had spun him a story about working up an appetite. He was sure he had been worn out just by the frosting incident alone, but he had found enough energy to agree to an early dinner with the persistent man.

“I hope this place is nice” Derek sighed as they were given their drinks.

Stiles downed half of his iced tea before it hit the table. Time seemed to tick by slower when he was with Derek which didn’t play in his favor “I actually like it here. I try to stop by on my way home” he finally noted.

“Do you eat out a lot?”

“I have a lot of free time. With every one being married and all I tend to fill that time trying new places to eat. They like to invite me but I don’t like to intrude, and third wheeling is no fun. I’ve never really minded being by myself though”

Derek’s body language tensed at that. It wasn’t like he had said it on purpose, it was the truth. Having no soul mate, let alone no interest in a love life left plenty of room for him to become happily alone. Stiles didn’t try to correct or mend his words, just stared at the menu despite having memorized it long ago.

Derek cleared his throat looking back at the menu as well “Well, I hope now you’ll think to call me when you feel alone” There was no response to that. Stiles simply swallowed past the lump in his throat.

The night passed by, and all Stiles could think was that though he had never been on a date he was sure it wasn’t supposed to be this awkward, or quiet. Derek tried for conversation but Stiles’ answers hadn’t left much room to evaluate. When the boy did try to talk it happened to be at the same time as Derek until he stopped trying all together.

It was late by the time both their plates were empty. They argued about the bill, Derek paid, and Stiles slipped a twenty across the table before standing up and heading out forcing Derek to pick it up.

The streets were quiet and vacant, so when Derek rose his hand to oncoming traffic it didn’t take too long for a taxi to appear at his finger tips. The yellow vehicle skidded to a stop right at their feet, and Stiles turned for a goodbye “This was…it was fun, I enjoyed myself” nothing about his voice was confident he hadn’t even convinced himself.

“I’m glad” Derek admitted. Then he was leaning in, and Stiles was freaking out. At the last split second he gave Derek one of his awkward ‘bro hugs’ he used for old friends and family members he didn’t really know. Derek hugged him back.

Stiles could feel the heat radiating off his blushing cheeks as the cab driver drove away.

Sunday came and went and Stiles hadn’t heard from Derek the entire day, which didn’t shock him at all. He couldn’t imagine what they’d talk about if he had. Stiles was sure that, after what could be branded as the most awkward date, there was a fifty fifty chance he’d hear from him. And he couldn’t figure out if he was relived or upset by that.

That Monday Stiles did what he did best. He went into work early and baked. It was his stress reliever, his happiness all rolled into one. He was popping his legendary bunt cake into the oven when Isaac came skipping in. He took one look around the kitchen then narrowed his eyes on his friend “Oh no, you’re stress baking. What’s wrong?”

Stiles’ wrist cramped as he wisked and still found the strength to lie “I’m always baking, nothing is wrong”

“Really?”

“Mhmm. Peachy keen”

Isaac gave him a final look before accepting his answer. His friend always had a way of seeing through him and Stiles wish he’d cut it out sometimes.

Stiles sat at his desk rummaging through emails and stuffing his face with a sandwich when he heard the only other chair in the room slide against the linoleum flooring. Isaac was there when he looked up, making himself comfortable. He dropped a container of stew on his side of the desk “So, Scott, Lydia, Parish and I are going to one of those couple wine and paint night things. Did you want to come?”

He looked up at his friend, wondering if even he had heard what he’d just said “I could have sworn I heard the word ‘couple’ in there” Stiles laughed.

“It’s not strictly for couples. But we wanted you to come. PLEEEASSSEEE”

Stiles rolled his eyes already knowing he’d give in. He didn’t have anything planned for the week anyways. Plus he figured he’d do anything to keep his mind off of Derek. So he said yes to the begging boy, and two nights later he ended up outside a cafe huffing and puffing.

“Seriously Isaac? ‘not strictly for couples’ my ass. It’s right there in the sign ‘Couples Painting Night’ I do know how to read” Isaac scoffed and smirked to himself. He wasn’t sure what he could do there that he couldn’t do at home. There was wine and bob ross in his own living room.

“Just come on” Scott huffed pulling his fuming friend by the sleeve of his jacket. Stiles let him drag him reluctantly along. Stiles knew there was a reason they insisted on picking him up that evening. Though they were surely mistaken if they didn’t think Stiles would walk all the way back home.

The room was fairly big. Nicely set up with chairs and stools of different sizes in dim lighting. Placed down the middle of the room was a line of easels ready to be painted on. There were waiters in primp attire waltzing around and offering flutes of champagne and glasses of red wine. Stiles was observing while simultaneously sulking behind the couple, his hands deep in his pockets when he saw something that started putting things into perspective for him.

Derek was there, half a glass of wine already in his hands. Stiles felt a lump in his throat as he watched him aimlessly converse with Lydia and Parish. He really hated his friends, they loved to meddle. Stiles assumed Derek had admitted to the group that he’d finally found out the truth since he had yet to tell them himself.

As if it were nothing and he expected no one to notice Stiles turned on his heels heading back for the exit.

“Oh no you don’t” Isaac sang, stepping into his path.

Stiles was quick to the defense, stepping around Isaac effortlessly “You guys can’t keep me here, you do know that right?”

“Well maybe I’ll just bring Lydia over here”Scott threatened, stopping the kid in his tracks “She’ll be very sad to know you’re trying to ditch, she was looking forward to seeing you” The very first time Stiles had bailed on a group event and heard Lydia was upset they knew his weakness. He didn’t like to upset his friend, though he guessed she’d sometimes make herself cry on purpose to get him to stay it was clever and cruel.

Stiles shot daggers at the engaged couple before he followed sullenly behind keeping his eyes on nothing but the floor. Isaac was tall enough for him to stand behind and not be seen so he took advantage of it for how ever long he could.

Everything was already out in the open, yes, but his terrible attempt at a date with Derek just further more proved that maybe he wasn’t ready. He snagged a wine glass from a passing waiter and chugged it down and before the worker could scurry off he took another one, getting it down in half the time. He wasn’t a drinker, but tonight he would be.

“Stiles?” Lydia called and Stiles had looked up to see his human shield had ran off.

He sighed, and made himself perk up “Hey Lyds” she grinned widely, wrapping her delicate arms around him in a comforting hug “It must be nice Parrish was able to get the night off. I feel like I haven’t seen him in a while”

“I know! The station had him working insane doubles. But he’s got the next three days to recoup” he glanced down at their still intertwined hands “How have you been? I know we were texting, but it just isn’t the same”

“Unfortunately my life is just as boring in real life as it is over text I’m afraid” A part of Stiles knew she’d been waiting for him to dish on the latest Derek news but he was going to continue to keep it to himself since she and everyone else already clearly knew. He clapped his hands together as he notice the group of people started congregating to the middle of the room for the start of the activities “So I guess I’ll just hang out over at the bar? Offer a bit of sideline banter as I criticize all of your art skills”

Scott opened his mouth before Stiles could make a clean get away “Well, Derek doesn’t have a partner. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind-“

“Oh no I’d hate to intrude-“

“I don’t mind” Derek offered a smile and chimed in for the first time since Stiles walked through the doors. The announcer began and the small group of friends hurried to their retrospective seats. Stiles and his sweaty palms sat at the easel in front his mates the large board blocking any chance of continuous eye contact “I’m guessing they didn’t tell you this was a date” Derek asked knowingly.

Stiles shook his head forgetting that Derek couldn’t see him “Never came up”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t have your number, and they said they’d take care of it” he responded sadly.

“It’s okay”

The night began with the instructor describing the warm tones of a sun set. Every one was dipping their paintbrushes and working to interpret his words.

When he was sure everyone understood he spoke again “Now, while you are painting I want you to share with your partner your favorite physical trait of theirs. We’re all adults so no need to keep it PG” the kid held in his huff because this was the interaction he didn’t want.

Stiles’ brush strokes slowed as he watched the pairs throughout the room lean over, and flutter their eyes answering the question. He willed himself not to look over at Derek. The blood was rushing to his face as he leg rapidly bounced up and down. No way was he going to speak first, and he didn’t expect Derek to either. They’d been ambushed and shouldn’t have had to participate.

“Your moles” Derek suddenly answered.

“Hmm?” Stiles hummed, leaning out of his chair to look towards the man.

Derek cleared his throat before answering again “Y-Your moles. It was never something I paid attention to on other people, but on you I think they’re really…beautiful”

He was sure his blush darkened but was thankful for the dim lighting.

Fuck, Stiles, respond.

He busied himself with painting and avoided Derek’s intense gaze as his mouth opened “Your eyes. Even though you were pretty upset they were the first thing I really noticed about you” Derek grinned as a thank you and they both continued to paint. Stiles couldn’t see his work of art by the way he was sitting but he could tell the man was working intently at it.

They were instructed to begin the water of the ocean when the next question came. Stiles rolled his eyes and glanced to the other side of the room where Scott and Isaac were grinning and flirting “Tell your partner your greatest ambition” the voice echoed again.

Stiles peered around his board and could see Derek’s hand was not moving, he was waiting for Stiles to speak this time. He sighed before opening his mouth to give it a try “Well ‘Claudia’s Sweets’ was my dream. Now that it’s here I just hope I never lose it. Maybe start a chain, open up other locations”

“Your shop is amazing Stiles, I can’t imagine it going anywhere” Derek tried to encourage him. Stiles felt a sense of pride swell up in him at the compliment “Mine isn’t anything too big. I have just always wanted a family. Someone to come home too, kids that hang on me like a jungle gym. The simple life”

“That seems nice enough”

Stiles had skipped ahead, already painting his version of sand when the questions continued. He took a sip from his new cup of wine “Share with your partner, the one thing you’d go back in time and change”

He didn’t have to think too hard for this one before the words came tumbling out of his mouth “I’d go back to when I was eleven and tell my mom not to drive to the grocery store that day” he shut his eyes tightly, realizing that maybe he’d gone too dark on that one. He slid the last remains of his wine away and began to apologize  “I-I’m sorry that was… I didn’t mean to make things so-“

“It’s okay. I don’t mind” whether it had been on accident or purpose Derek slid his foot forward. The tip of his boot hitting the tip of Stiles’ worn down chucks.

“W-What’s yours?” Stiles asked, hoping to change the subject.

“Your soul words” he mumbled quietly but quickly. It wasn’t even a thought he just came out with it “Knowing what I know now I’d go back in time and made sure I said something pleasant. Something that made you feel worthy and made you excited to have me” he laughed to himself “I’d kick myself in the ass and made sure I had my anger in check”

And before Stiles realizes it his mouth is moving “What would you have said instead?”

Then Derek was quiet for a moment. Stiles’ painting slowed as he wondered if that was the wrong thing to say, maybe he’d put Derek on the spot “I don’t know” and oddly enough Stiles could hear the shrug in his tone “I know, it’d be something cheesy for sure, it would have made you smile every time you looked down at it. Maybe something about your eyes, or the way your smile, though rare, reminds me of sunshine. I’d just be content with letting you know I had looked forward to finding you my entire life”

Stiles managed half a smile.

The questions continued as the two painted away aimlessly. Stiles felt his body relax more and more until his shoulders weren’t touching his ears anymore and his leg had stopped shaking. He wanted to entertain the thought that it was because of Derek but it could have also been the four glasses of wine. Derek would get caught staring at the boy every now and then but the two managed to laugh it off. Stiles felt at ease, until the last question came.

They were each instructed to grab their partners hands and stare into the eyes of one another. Stiles prayed Derek couldn’t feel how sweaty his palms were. If he did he didn’t show any sign, he looked intrigued and happy to just have him there gripping his hands back “I want you all to share your biggest fear”

“I was scared I’d never find you” Derek answered, never faltering, not once.

“I was afraid I would find you” Stiles admitted in a whisper. And Derek nodded, because he understood why.

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Chapter 8