Chapter 11: ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK.
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It was a very different type of screaming I woke up to that morning, my mom basically found out that I didn’t unpack as of yet, and that ensured an earful which acted as my unwanted alarm clock.
Dad, Kyle and Sam were all pretending to not have auditory senses, while my reasonable remarks about me ‘moving out soon’ fell on deaf ears.
Breakfast was a gloomy ordeal and I couldn’t leave home fast enough. Mom gave me the silent cold treatment while no one dared to speak, afraid of saying the wrong thing and setting off a nuclear explosion.
The visit-home vacation time has come to an end, my brother and Sam are both going to return to their respective jobs, and soon enough, even I will be on my way (much to mom’s displeasure).
Kyle offered me the keys to his empty penthouse, but I refused. That place was huge and it would only make me more aware of my lonely, tiny existence. I was already looking for a decent sized apartment according to my preference and it seemed I would find one by the end of this week.
Working in real estate development had certain perks. John was one of the best real estate agents in the team, he sent me a list of places according to my needs, but my busy schedule didn’t allow for any personal matters.
I left for work slightly agitated and a few minutes late for the first time today. To add to all this, the fact that it was monday automatically dunked me in a sour mood. During lunch hour when I refused to eat and sat there picking at my food, Kate caught on to my foul mood making me spill every single detail. Although I would never admit it to her but telling her every small thing made me feel better, like a weight has been lifted off.
Today we had a meeting regarding signature heights airlines. It was mainly about starting air commutes to new places that the company hadn’t explored yet.
Even though airlines wasn’t our company’s primary business, it was a major deal that brought in a lot of opportunities and revenue.
The contract for more aircrafts was already in order, because of increasing demand.
The meeting consisted of around fifteen people, most of them from the aviation and marketing department.
During the meeting everyone discussed the highs and lows of the situation, it was a very interactive session as no one was leading it with a presentation, Jensen was very actively engaged as he listened and made suggestions for certain ideas.
He asked my opinions and hung on to every word I said which was something new and I was not used to it. He made me in-charge for marketing and campaigning and I was genuinely thrown for a moment.
I had some information about the possible requirements of airline and commercial pilots and flight attendants by the end of that meeting. Ten new places were finalized for travel, most of them being vacation and business capitals. This project was going to create more job opportunities in the field of aviation.
I didn’t understand sudden change in Jensen’s behavior, he wasn’t less cold, or rude…but he seemed to be going out of his way to talk to me and include me in business and events but I was dodging him as best as I could without coming off as impolite.
It was around 5pm when I returned to my office. The sun has already started its descent towards the horizon but I didn’t feel like going home. The atmosphere in my office was blazing like frozen heat, stuck somewhere between hot, cold and humid.
I was bored out of my mind and tapping away on my keypad, replying to all the mail that came in during the weekend.
After staring at numbers all day, this was a welcome distraction. My mind hopped back to those numbers time and again…. some things didn’t add up….there were so many pieces missing. Maybe I didn’t have all the required information, but I did have clearance for the information. Then…What was I not seeing?
This was obviously not my work but my assistant Nick seemed to be in a hurry to get home this evening to his family and me being the awesome boss that I am, I relieved him of his duties earlier than usual, and in exchange he decided to buy me an early dinner.
As a result I’m typing my mails myself, obviously shocked at the vast number of them and already wishing I could go to sleep.
Surprisingly enough, this weekend my boss didn’t dump a lot of work on me, my mom was probably the most excited about that tiny fact and made the most of it, we went out for lunch, shopping and almost brought the entire shopping mall home…trust my mom to go overboard. I sighed, thinking how she was definitely still mad at me about this morning, she’s stubborn like that.
It was obviously shocking to find out that Jensen Black and I can get along sometimes, but that didn’t change anything of course, we were both too stubborn to be anything but hostile towards each other.
As per usual I had managed to avoid him as much as possible and so far it had worked well in my favor. When I heard a soft rustle my eyes instantly jolted for the door expecting my food but when I found no one there, I pouted in disappointment and returned to my work.
Nick had been incredibly thoughtful when he noticed that I hardly ate anything for lunch and drowned in paperwork the entire day. He took matters into his own hands to fix that and set out to the nearby food joint even after I repeatedly told him not to.
My eyes skimmed across the mail that was from our advertisement company and quickly I responded with tonnes of positivity. It’s been almost three weeks since we took up this new project of marketing a handful of luxurious apartments and ever since the advertisements came up it’s been an absolutely busy schedule for the decisive group working on it.
Unfortunately, I was very actively included in this group.
A knock on my door perked me up and again I looked up hoping it was Nick with my chicken wings and lemonade but no….it was the devil himself, in the flesh.
“Yes?” I asked flatly, my excitement deflated into thin air.
“Kate left already and I can’t find Nick…” he trailed off, annoyance dripping from his words. He’s the one knocking on people’s doors and then giving them random information. Does he even have the right to be annoyed?
“So?!” I snapped, I don’t really know why, maybe because I wasn’t in a great mood this evening or maybe cause he wasn’t Nick and didn’t have any food with him, or maybe it was just him, you know after dodging him for the whole day….I don’t know, but as soon as I opened my mouth this anger just sprouted out.
“Can you come attend a meeting with me. I need you to brief a client.” He said and marched out in his usual style.
Yeah sure, why not? I’m here just for that, attending meetings day and night is the very essence of my happiness. Biting back a sarcastic remark I pushed myself off the chair and followed him to his office.
The first half of his office room consisted of huge leather couches that looked rather comfy, it was subtly lit with a few lamps as the redlight from the setting sun flooding in through the undone blinds did all the work to set an atmosphere for a perfect nap. No Alex stop! Stop thinking about napping, you have work to do.
The view from the window overlooking the entire concrete jungle and the coast was unique in its own way. Beautiful paintings adorned the walls and the fresh colorful flowers in the porcelain vases added a new element to the room, somehow it seemed to give an elegant touch which was unexpected to say the least.
I heard another set of footsteps approaching and quickly went to grab a notepad and pen. It’s better to get this thing done so that I can return to my own work and then home.
Mr Smith seemed like a kind man with bright eyes, thinning hair and a contagious smile which I automatically returned.
The meeting was a very casual setting, Mr. Black and our guest Mr. Smith seemed well acquainted with each other. Mr. Smith was probably in his late forties and his wisdom sure shone through his stance and polite attitude.
They talked of business mostly but their mannerism and approach towards one another spoke of friendship and deep rooted trust. I wrote down some points and made note of the clause that needed to be included and changed in the contract.
Mr. Smith was the owner of Celestrium Industries and his company doesn’t seem to be doing so well, he was here to negotiate a deal with our company. He’s probably thinking of selling, it’s not an easy decision to make.
At times I helped out Mr. Smith with the current sales figures and statistics so that he could keep up and make better financial decisions.
After the meeting it seemed Mr. Smith had a lot of personal matters to discuss with Jensen and so I decided to leave them alone as they talked and I offered to make them some coffee since I was gonna make some for myself anyway.
Before getting started, I asked them how they would like their coffee. Mr. Smith answered my question readily but Jensen glared at me like I had committed a sin by not knowing his preference. Sure whatever. “Black, no sugar” he said in his steely voice. Why didn’t I just guess?
“Coming right up.” I said chirpily before I got to coffee making, while they both returned to their conversation.
The small kitchen area to the left of the room was new to me, it was a part of his office and was stocked with coffee and snacks and a small variety of crockery. I could imagine Kate being here everyday, making him coffee, I bet she knew his preference.
A sudden baritone travelled to me and I wondered if that jazz music was Jensen’s ringtone? Naah…It’s probably Mr. Smith’s.
After going through numerous cabinets I finally arranged all the essentials for preparing the bitter hot beverage on the counter and then looked at the coffee machine like it was an enigma. I knew how to work a coffee machine, but this one seemed different with its fancy buttons and wide variety of options.
I could only find two coffee mugs in the cabinet and so I looked around for another one, opening and closing draws, finally I found one on the topmost shef, almost out of reach.
When I went on my tiptoes and picked up the coffee mug from the top shelf it suddenly felt like the world shifted from underneath my feet. I tried reaching for the counter to steady myself but all I could find was thin air. The coffee mug was no longer in my hand as it fell and broke into pieces of porcelain that scattered on the cold marble countertop.
I blindly looked for a wall to lean on and blinked to get rid of the movementary illusion I was seeing, waiting for the dizzy spell to go away, I chastised myself for not having eaten anything today.
Shit. This is bringing back unpleasant memories…
I could sense footsteps coming towards me but my hearing was muffled so I wasn’t so sure about that but I somehow grabbed the counter and got my feet underneath me so that I no longer looked staggered. I felt a presence in the doorway, but felt too disoriented to look up at their face.
“What happened here?” A stern voice asked and I could tell it was Jensen.
Looking down at the counter I saw what he was referring to. Ground coffee beans were scattered all over the place along with shards of ceramic that resulted from the broken mug. What a mess. I sighed in absolute embarrassment.
“I-I’m sorry, it slipped from my hand and-” I don’t know why I stuttered but I just couldn’t figure out what to say.
I felt a sting in my right hand and looked down to see a gash running across my palm, probably caused by a broken porcelain shard but I didn’t have time to worry about that.
I risked a glance towards Jensen and my demeanor tensed up dangerously. He was furious, his tall physique and wide shoulders all the more intimidating. He picked up a broken porcelain shard like it was something precious and stared unblinkingly at it.
“Do you have any idea what you have done?” He asked seriously while he walked up to me, I subconsciously took a few steps backward to maintain the distance between us.
“I’m sorry, I-I understand it’s my mistake, I-I’ll replace this….” I said referring to the crockery. Shit I was so nervous.
“No you can’t, not that you even-…” he abruptly stopped and didn’t finish what he was saying. His eyes burned through me, hard like steel.
I was at a loss of words, not understanding what it was that made him so livid. “If I can-” I started to speak but he cut me off mid sentence.
“Don’t!” He was almost red in the face now and I feared that he would fire me right this instant. I didn’t dare utter a word. “For once can you not wreck everything, where you step?!”
“I didn’t mean to, I-…” I started to say but he cut me off.
“You what?! Just leave. I can’t have you causing havoc in here.” What did he just say? How dare he? It’s not like I did this on purpose.
How could he say something like that, and not care how his words may affect me…balling my hands into tight fists I refrained myself from yelling back at him.
“I can’t believe this…” he muttered under his breath.
“I don’t understand, it’s only a-” I spoke shakily.
His sharp gaze cut me off before his loud voice did “I said leave!” I trembled.
I was shocked at his ability to make me feel absolutely dismal with his words and actions.
My heart suddenly felt heavy, my throat started hurting from all the things I didn’t say and anger bubbled inside me but I tried to keep calm only because this time, I was at fault and so I simply left the room, refraining myself from looking at him, afraid that I might pick a fight and start hurling insults at him.
Anger surged through my veins as I released a shaky breath, I reached my own office with every intention to take off. Work can go to hell for all I care.
Thankfully Mr. Smith wasn’t in Jensen’s office anymore, or it would have been even more humiliating facing him.
My right hand was still in a fist to not allow any more blood to flow from the wound.
Nick still hadn’t returned and I grabbed my phone from the table to call him, while I looked for my handbag and car keys. He picked up on the third ring and greeted in his overly cheery voice “Alex!”
“Nick I’m going home, don’t bother getting me food…I’m not hungry anyway, you should just go back home or whatever…” I ended up unsure.
All humor vanished from within him when he heard me seem so serious, “Alex, is everything okay? What’s wrong? Why do you sound so upset?”
I cleared my throat “I’m not upset.” I said. “Nothing’s wrong Nick…I-I just don’t feel so good, I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” It wasn’t a total lie, I hung up before he could get another word in.
I grabbed my car keys and was about to pull my handbag up my right shoulder when I heard that very familiar sound of my office door being opened and turned to look at whoever it was.
For the second time today there he stood in my doorway and for the second time today I wasn’t pleased.
I met his eyes unambiguously as I tried to conceal just how bad my blood was boiling at his sight. What now? He wasn’t done yelling at me?
“Where are you going?” Jensen asked firmly as he walked towards me, like he wasn’t just shouting at me mere minutes ago.
“Well I’m done for the day and… don’t have anymore meetings to brief” I replied, trying to keep my tone light but who am I kidding? It came out rude.
Jensen nodded like he was expecting this and stepped towards me but I stood my ground, refusing to be intimidated by his gaze fixed on me, stopping just a foot away he raised a perfect brow.
“Show me your hand,” he said and I frowned in confusion, surprised at what he said and the way he said it. It wasn’t a command for once and the request seemed almost foreign coming from him. He felt like a totally different person from the one I met just moments ago. He looked concerned and maybe apologetic?
What now? Why? I didn’t voice my confusion, instead I spoke in a voice dripping with annoyance, “I have to go” I didn’t have time for his puzzles.
Stepping to one side I brushed past him to get to the door, never really anticipating him to stick out his hand to hold my arm as he did and gently pull me right back where I was standing. I couldn’t oppose his strength, dang my blood-pressure was probably low…
His hand was warm on my forearm as he looked at me with those deep sincere eyes and I was momentarily robbed of my words.
What’s he-?
Ignoring my confused, stupefied state his fingers wrapped around my wrist as he held my right hand up and pried open my fist to look at the cut which was hidden underneath, “before you go just let me fix this for you”.
But how did he-? It didn’t matter, nor did it change anything, “There’s no need…” I pulled my hand out of his firm grip. “I have to go.”
He blocked my way with his body and placed both his hands on my shoulders to keep me from moving, “Stop being so stubborn.” He said softly and gave me a gentle push backwards towards the table and told me to “take a seat”.
I didn’t argue this time, words seem to have abandoned me, if he was yelling at me I could have dealt with it, but this soft spoken version of him was throwing me off and so I listened to what he said without a reason, as for once what he said didn’t sound vexed or annoyed.
He stood as I stiffly sat at the edge, he opened a box that he was carrying, which I failed to notice somehow. It was a first-aid kit I realised, he settled it next to me on the tabletop, picked what he needed and then again turned to me, giving my hand his complete attention.
Carefully taking my injured hand in his, he worked his ‘nurse’ skills on the cut, he started with alcohol wipes to disinfect and I tried my best to hold still and not flinch. He looked at my injury with conflicted eyes, almost as if he blamed himself for having inflicted it.
He was so confusing, I wanted to get mad at him, yell that I don’t need his help and storm out of there, but there was something in his eyes, something sad and regretful that he didn’t conceal and it was throwing me off.
Finally very carefully he wrapped it in a thin white bandage like he was wrapping up a kid’s Christmas present. The white bandage called way too much attention towards it than I was comfortable with, even though the wound was tiny, it looked extreme on my hand, like I punched someone with a metal face and ended up hurting myself.
I didn’t dare complain though. The whole time I just wordlessly stared up at him struggling to understand him. It was like he takes one step forward and then two steps back. What am I supposed to make of this? Was this an apology for earlier, or maybe something else. Was I reading too much into this?
I couldn’t tell. I really couldn’t, Jensen Black was more unreadable than a blank sheet.
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What do you think of his actions?
What do you think could be the reason for his behaviour?
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