Falling | Mxm (Completed) Chapter 44

“Edwin, bluewin~, wake up. It’s almost noon!”

Edwin felt warm lips touching the skin of his forehead. He whined in return, pulling the blanket over his head.

“You’re gonna be like that? You know I can easily pick you up, right?” Aiden sneaked his hands under the blanket and tickled the sensitive spot of Edwin’s ribs that always made his body jerk immediately.

He sat up with pouty lips, while still being wrapped by the blanket, and rubbed his eye. “Why don’t you ever let me sleep in peace?” He nagged.

Aiden laughed in disbelief. “You slept for like 10 hours. You’re basically a koala in human form.” He grabbed the blanket and yanked it away before making Edwin stand up in one move. “See? Standing on your feet after not using them for so long is good.”

“Sheesh! I have a good reason for not wanting to stand on my feet, you know. And you’re the cause of it. You should be responsible for your actions.” Edwin fake frowned, crossing arms on his chest.

“You’re so cute!” Aiden pinched his cheek. “I know. That’s why I made you a bath with lots of bubbles and shit. Wash up and I’ll order something.” Aiden pushed him toward the bathroom by spanking him lightly. “You know, one of these days you’re gonna have to go to the hospital. I can’t understand how Chad is letting you have all these days off.” He said while Edwin was turning on the shower. The younger tensed for a second, thinking of an answer to give, but to his relief, Aiden didn’t wait for a reply. He left the room after saying that.

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After that day of getting a little information out of Aiden, Edwin had stayed at his place. It’d been around 5 days already and they’d had a sweet and relaxing time with each other.

Edwin tried to get him to talk and open up, but to no avail. Aiden turned the subject around each time and it usually ended up with them having sex. Edwin wasn’t complaining about the bodily contact cos he wanted to be close to the older and feel him, but a voice at the back of his head didn’t let him be. He knew Aiden had some feelings for him, he was sure of it, but every time Ian or Joe’s name was mentioned, his mood would drop almost immediately. During his stay, the usual group of Aiden’s friends had come twice, but Joe hadn’t come. He hadn’t called either. Were they still to be considered best friends?

To top it all, he didn’t know what he wanted to do anymore. He didn’t feel like going to the hospital and he didn’t have the energy to go to the dance school, or maybe he just wanted to be with Aiden while he still had the chance and time before the guy would go away for god knows how long. But he still had a life of his own to lead, so why didn’t he seem to be able to think about what he wanted to do? Even Brad had scolded him for being absent from school for nearly a week.

Overall, he just wasn’t in a good mood, especially today, cos his head was full of different thoughts, and pictures of his sister in front of his eyes wouldn’t leave him be. He washed his body furiously and let himself sink into the bathtub, getting a little bit relaxed by all the bubbles and the blue water that Aiden had made for him. He was still in the bathtub when the man knocked on the glass door.

“Edwin, I have to go out a bit. Make sure to order something to eat, okay?”

“Where are you going?” He found himself asking as soon as he turned around to see Aiden.

“I have a few things to take care of.” He smiled and left.

Edwin sighed. It’s not like the other had to tell him his every move or something, but why wake him up if he wanted to leave? He would just be numb and in dreamland while the other was outside. He groaned and went underwater, holding his breath for as long as he could. This would always make his mind clear a bit.

Getting dressed and going through the messages on his phone, he decided he was absolutely not in the mood of replying to anyone. So he just locked it again and put it on the counter, grabbing the menu of the restaurant they always ordered from. He sat there and looked at the menu for what felt like an eternity before throwing it away and deciding he didn’t have the appetite after all.

‘What’s wrong with me today?’

He remembered having a dream last night. A dream about his childhood. When he, Lili, and their parents had gone camping. He was scared to death from the noises at night, but Lili had hugged him throughout the whole darkness, whispering relaxing things and rubbing his back. That was the first time he genuinely felt thankful to have an older sister who he could rely on. Lili had always taken care of him before she started getting worse, and then he knew he had to return all the love he had received throughout the years.

He was deep in his memories, and tears had gathered in his eyes without him noticing. If Aiden was here and saw him like this, he would hug him tightly, caressing his hair, reminding him it was Lili’s decision to make and forcing him to talk about her. That was what had been going on the past 5 days. Him telling Aiden about his memories with his lost sister and the man refusing to talk about the things that haunted him, making him have nightmares every single night.

He was ripped out of his thoughts by the sound of the doorbell. Looking through the peep, he saw a figure he wasn’t expecting to see there at all.

“Hey! So you two decided to be together after all!” Ian said, clearly a little taken aback by seeing him there.

“We’re not together. But do come in.” Edwin felt annoyed at the fact that he himself didn’t know what they were supposed to be.

“Where’s the bunny?” Ian asked, looking around.

“He’s not here. You should’ve called him beforehand.”

The other hummed and went to the glass wall, looking at the view and calling someone on his phone. “He’s not picking up. Do you have any idea when he’ll be back?”

Edwin shook his head, leaning on the kitchen counter.

Ian frowned. “What’s wrong with you? You seem upset.”

Edwin sighed. “Just… my head is busy thinking about this and that.”

The older sat down on the couch and tapped the place next to him, telling him to sit down beside him. Edwin did as asked.

“Are you okay?” Ian asked in a friendly tone.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t seem okay, though. Did our stupid celebrity friend upset you? It’s kind of one of his specialties.”

Edwin looked at him. His eyes, nose, lips. Ian was beautiful. He had such delicate features, and this was the first time Edwin was looking at him while actually paying attention. A word rang in his ear: ‘our’.

‘our stupid celebrity friend.’

Ian seemed to feel better about Aiden these days. It wasn’t like they had met a lot, maybe two or three times tops, but he could tell that the guy didn’t want to kill Aiden anymore. They wouldn’t talk more than two-three sentences, but they seemed to be okay. Well, Ian seemed to be okay while Edwin was sure Aiden just acted like it.

“Hello? Earth to Edwin! Do you want a glass of water or something? You look really pale.”

“A glass of water doesn’t help with low blood pressure, Ian.” He chuckled.

“Gosh! No need to slap me with your doctoral degree.” He laughed.

“You two are just so alike!” Edwin said, chewing on his cheek.

“Hm?” The other looked dumbfounded.

“You, and Aiden. You’re just so alike. And you both don’t like the doctoral side of me.” He chuckled again bitterly and sat back, leaning his head on the backrest.

“Well… I guess we have some similarities. By the way, I was just kidding about the doctor thing. But really, do you want me to get you anything?”

“I’m fine. Thanks though.”

They fell into silence for a few seconds. Edwin felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Edwin, I know I’m probably not someone you wanna talk to, but I’m a good listener. And I can keep secrets. If I want to, that is. Otherwise, the whole town would know the info in two hours, or probably less.”

“Oi! You’re doing it wrong. You won’t convince me like that!” The blue-haired boy found himself laughing at the other.

Ian raised his eyebrows and pouted his lips. “I mean! You can talk to me! I won’t tell anyone! Why you gotta be so mean?!” He dramatically held his hand on his heart, pretending to be hurt. It didn’t fail to make Edwin laugh again, and he sat up.

“I don’t know, Ian. There’s just so much on my mind. It’s like I’m lost and I can’t seem to find any direction, you know. I don’t see a path. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or feel or-” He sighed and the hand on his shoulder squeezed him a bit.

“Have you talked to Den about all this? I mean, he should know about your struggles better than others, or am I wrong?”

“No, I mean, only about my sister, but other things, no. He has enough of his own shit to deal with. I don’t wanna be a burden.”

“God, Edwin! You’re not a burden. You guys are together and you should share your problems, okay? Aiden is somehow bad at assuming things, and unless you tell him, he won’t know you’re struggling. You should always put your thoughts into words for him or he won’t notice.”

“I told you, we’re not together.”

The other sighed. “Sure, you basically live here and you have all those hickeys. But sure you’re not together.”

“We do have sex, but that doesn’t imply anything.” He exhaled roughly. “Gah, can we not talk about this? My head is gonna explode.” He rubbed his palms on his face and then brushed his hair back furiously. “Why are you here, though? I doubt he’ll be back anytime soon.”

“Well, the idiot won’t pick Joe’s calls up and won’t reply to his texts. The poor piglet is frustrated. I decided to come and put some senses back into his stupid brain.”

“You guys sure use A LOT of nicknames for each other.”

“What? Den hasn’t given you one? That’s unusual! And yeah! Nicknames are nice!” Ian seemed really surprised.

“He has. He gave me one when I dyed my hair blue back when he was at the hospital.”

At the mention of the hospital, Edwin noticed how Ian’s facial expression tensed and he bit his lip, frowning and removing the hand on his shoulder.

“Did he… did he suffer a lot? I mean at the hospital…” He was playing with his fingers while hesitantly talking the words.

“It wasn’t easy. He went through a lot of pain for about three weeks, cutting his drug usage and all.”

“I still can’t believe he started doing drugs, that idiot.” The older huffed.

“Ian, it wasn’t your fault. You just did what was best for the two of you. And most importantly, you had to do it to be able to be happy.”

There was something confusing about the way the older laughed bitterly. Edwin could not pinpoint the meaning behind it. But he didn’t like it nevertheless.

“And you? Are you doing the things that make you happy?”

He was a bit taken aback by the man’s question. It suddenly rushed through his mind.

‘Being happy’

What was he supposed to do to be happy? He opened his mouth but closed it again cos he didn’t have an answer. So much for that doctoral degree he spent so much of his energy and brain cells for.

Ian got a call from the company a little while after and had to leave. So then, there Edwin was again. Alone, thinking about Ian’s question over and over.