EditedÂ
My Aiden
‘Where are you?’
Edwin rolled his eyes after seeing Aiden’s message and placed his phone on the table next to him. He had come to the hospital to talk to Chad about the singer’s condition and now was having a drink with the head doctor and Lucas.
“But when are you planning on making it official?” Lucas asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
“We are official!” Edwin replied, confused. He had told Lucas before about their relationship.
“I mean to the public. To his fans.”
Edwin nodded in understanding. “I wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible, but they saw us yesterday at the court and they have already recognized me in the photos I’ve taken with the guys.” He sighed. “These fans are better than FBI at gathering info, I tell you that!”
Chad giggled. “You knew what you were signing up for from the start.”
“Of course. The only reason I wanted to keep it to ourselves was to prevent something like this. Now that this has happened, I think it’s only best we, as Lucas said, make it official. Aiden went to his label to discuss it with his managers and CEO.” Both men nodded repeatedly.
“So, the case is closed now? Completely?” The nurse asked.
Edwin hummed. “The guy didn’t really have a lawyer, so Hugo won the case pretty easily.”
“How many years did they give him?”
“3. But he can come out if he behaves well. I low-key wanted them to give him more. That way Den would be safe for a bit longer.”
“It’s naive of you to think there’s only one person with that kind of behavior out there, Edwin. You should know better.” Chad said while placing his cup on the table carefully. “For now, let’s focus on Aiden’s condition. Hearing actual voices in one’s head is somewhat serious, but you also said that it hasn’t happened for many years until it came back recently. So it seems if he is busy or at ease, it doesn’t happen. If he was here, we would try to trigger him under enough observation to know the exact details, but you’re alone there, so let’s just keep an eye open for the behavioral patterns.”
“What makes me confused is that he’s gone through the whole accident and Ian getting injured and then the breakup without hearing the voice. I just can’t understand why he would be triggered by something as minor as this.”
Chad shook his head. “You’re wrong. It might appear minor to you, but for him, it must have been serious enough to make them come alive again. I think, and I’m talking only from what you told me, that he is severely traumatized.”
“By what exactly? So many things have happened to him…” Edwin said as he leaned a bit closer, listening thoroughly.
“I think by the accident. He almost lost Ian. People are always stronger the first time something happens, but the times after that have them weak because they have experienced the pain and the horror. So when you got attacked, all the fear of losing a loved one and the guilt came back to him when he was the weakest. The second time he went through a similar episode, again, was because of trauma. A different kind, but he was at his lowest, so it got triggered easily.”
“Makes enough sense.” Edwin said as he kept biting on his bottom lip. He felt Lucas patting him on the shoulder from next to him.
“He’s gonna be fine, Edwin. He has you. You’re one of the best doctors I’ve worked with. Just do according to what Chad told you, and he’ll be perfectly fine.”
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Aiden had gone to the company to discuss some matters concerning Edwin with both Luis and the ceo.
When he left in the morning, he had especially told Edwin to be careful and to not go anywhere unless there was someone with him. The fans had somewhat guessed who Edwin was, and it wasn’t safe for him to go out alone. The reporters and paparazzi were everywhere, trying to figure out the reason they were at the court the day before. He spent a fair amount of time discussing the matters with the company, mind at ease thinking his boyfriend was safe at home. When he came back and saw the apartment empty, the first thing he did was call Edwin, but the other didn’t pick up. He called Brad to see if he was at the dance school, but he wasn’t. A couple more times calling and he was about to lose his mind. His last resort was to send a message, hoping he would get an answer, but the younger hadn’t even opened it. He checked social media to see whether there were any reports or photos taken of him, but there was nothing. That was a relief, meaning he wasn’t caught by the crazy people, or at least not yet. To everyone else’s eyes, he was being over-sensitive, over-protective, over-everything, but he had seen what anti-fans and some very crazy fans were able to do. He had received weird stuff, death threats, all sorts of things that he never told any of his friends about, not wanting to make them concerned. He decided he would wait for another hour before going out to search for him. Walking back and forth around the place, he kept on looking out the glass wall in hopes of seeing his lover and after around 50 minutes, he did. He saw Edwin’s car coming close and then disappearing at the entrance of the building where he couldn’t see him anymore. All the concern and helplessness he had felt during the past hour was being replaced by anger by the second, and there was nothing he could do to stop the process.
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Edwin looked at his phone when he walked out of the hospital, saw Aiden’s 8 missed calls, and panicked. His phone hadn’t even vibrated, and it hadn’t shown the missed calls on display when he saw the notification of the message. Maybe that was why he hated technology so much. They always tended to get wrecked in sensitive times. Pushing his phone back into his pocket and running to his car, he drove at full speed to get home as fast as possible and hoped the older wasn’t having yet another episode over this.
Tapping his fingers on the elevator wall, he kept looking at the digits showing the floors as it kept going higher.
Finally arriving on the 21st floor, he ran out and to the door. He took off his shoes, not caring to place them neatly, and walked inside in fast steps, looking for the older. Aiden was standing by the glass wall with his phone in his hand that was hanging by his side and the other hand in his pocket.
He closed the distance, a bit hesitant in his last couple of steps, as he knew if the other wasn’t having an episode, he would be upset as hell. Letting a small gap remain between them, he stopped behind the man and reached out his hand to touch the other’s shoulder.
“Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore your calls. My phone didn’t make any sound. It’s not even on vibrate. The stupid device.” His fingers tightened on the muscular shoulder, wanting to get closer but knowing better. Aiden was the type of person you had to give the space to, unlike himself who wanted others to get close to him. Aiden was more like his sister than he had guessed at the start.
The older didn’t move. After a few seconds of silence, he heard the low, tired voice finally breaking the ice. “Where were you?”
“I…” He hesitated.
He didn’t want to lie, but he also didn’t want to make the other uncomfortable, telling him about sharing his condition with Chad.
“I went to see Chad.” He decided it was best to tell the truth, as lying was #1 on the not-to-do things for the singer.
Aiden turned around slowly, facial expression hard to read, and looked at him for a couple of moments. Edwin’s hand was still in its place. Aiden raised the hand that had the phone in and unlocked it. He was about to ask what he was doing when his phone suddenly started ringing in his pocket. Looking down at his pocket and up at Aiden again, he frowned.
“Seems to work perfectly fine.” Aiden said as he looked at him from under his black bangs that covered his forehead. “This-” He moved his own phone in his hand in front of Edwin’s face. “Is for telling people where you’re going the times you’re not supposed to be going out.” He took a step forward, making Edwin take one back and pull his hand away. “This is for answering the calls or the messages you receive. But what’s the use of it when you decide to ignore it as easy as that.” He threw the phone away. It got hit somewhere with a bang and made Edwin flinch at the sudden, unexpected action.
“What are you doing! I told you, it didn’t ring for me.”
Aiden looked almost scary, and Edwin was not liking the look on his face at all. He placed his palms on the older’s chest, not wanting him to get closer to him at this point, and pulling his serious face on in response.
“I told you not to go anywhere. I told you to stay at home until I got back.” It was like Aiden was controlling himself from breaking things.
Edwin’s raised his eyebrow a bit. “I’m a grown man. If I wanna go somewhere, I will. I think you misunderstood things when I didn’t go to the dance school after you told me not to. I’m not someone who does only as he’s told.”
Aiden’s face finally changed from the emotionless expression to something that resembled… hurt? Edwin watched as the older looked directly into his eyes back and forth and bit his bottom lip shortly before chuckling. Aiden looked at the ceiling, taking a deep breath and looking at the palms that were on his chest before his eyes settled on Edwin’s again.
“You think I want you to obey me? That’s the kind of person you think I am after spending so much time together?”
Edwin could swear he could see the other’s eyes shimmering with tears before he stepped away and turned his back to him, looking out the glass again.
“So? What did the big doctor say? Did you tell him how crazy your boyfriend is? Hearing things and shit. Has he diagnosed me with schizophrenia yet?” There was a bitter tone in the way he spoke. It made Edwin’s blood boil.
“Schizophrenia? No! What are you even talking about!” He said louder than he intended.
Edwin closed the gap again and turned Aiden around by force, keeping him in place by having his hands on either of his biceps and looking at him deep in the eye.
“Listen to me. Listen to me carefully because I’m only saying this once. You are not crazy. Don’t you hate labels? Why are you labeling yourself absent-mindedly by schizophrenia then?” He paused a bit to see if the other would say anything, but when he didn’t, he continued with a softer tone. “Yes, I talked to Chad because like it or not, he is a genius at his job. And I love you so much, I wanted to get his opinion in ways I could help you get rid of that voice that lives in your head.”
Aiden wanted to move, but Edwin kept him in place with all the strength he had. Aiden’s frown deepened.
“Do I think you want me to obey you? What do you want me to say? I know you’re worried, but this isn’t the way to deal with the situation. I was in my car, perfectly fine and safe. I was the one saying we should keep our relationship a secret in order to play safe. I’m not some kid that can’t understand danger. If I thought it would be harmful to me in any way, I would stay at home. I don’t need anyone telling me what’s best for me.” His voice was firm as he really needed the other to understand. He had played along with the older’s protectiveness, but he was really starting to have enough of it.
“Are you done?” Aiden said, as if he had been talking to a wall.
“No I’m not fucking done!” He yelled and shook Aiden by his grip before letting him go roughly. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I just didn’t answer some calls and you’re being like this?” He gestured toward Aiden. “You wanna clash phones? Fine, let’s clash them.” He took his own phone out and did the same thing as the older, throwing it nowhere special as the same hitting sound echoed in the living room. Aiden didn’t even flinch, he just kept staring at him through it all.
“Now what? Should we start breaking things?” He paused, looking at the man who was just standing there with no reaction whatsoever.
“You think I’m not stressed by this whole situation? You think I didn’t die each second during these past few days, thinking your whole carrier would be over because of dating me? Or let’s talk about this now that we are on the topic of cell phones.” He exhaled harshly and crossed his arms over his chest. “Who have you been texting lately?”
Aiden’s face fell as the question left Edwin’s mouth. His lips parted and his eyes widened in disbelief. He couldn’t believe what the younger was suggesting. He finally found his voice to talk again, although his heart felt like it was being crushed in a tight fist.
“Mia… I’ve been texting Mia.” He pressed his lips together as he could feel his eyes starting to burn.
Edwin chuckled and looked to the side, shaking his head.
“Ed-Edwin… do you think I’m having some kind of affair?” His voice broke in the middle, quiet and hard to hear. He was even afraid of saying those words.
Edwin didn’t answer his question, instead, he shot him another one. “What do you talk about with her?”
Aiden swallowed a couple of times before answering. “I’ve been talking to her about my, uh, my thoughts. The things I hear in my head or the- the stuff that was going on these days.”
“And you think I’m supposed to feel better than you having an affair right now?” Edwin asked with a sarcastic grin.
“Huh?!” Aiden asked, not understanding what the other meant at all.
“What am I to you, really? Why do you not talk to me, us, your friends about the things that concern and bother you, instead of some nurse you met just a few days ago?” Edwin felt helpless as he let his hands fall to his sides and sighed. “Why do you always distant yourself when things get a bit hard…” It was quiet for a while, only the sound of the clock ticking breaking the silence.
“I don’t wanna make you worried. I don’t— I don’t wanna put the weight of my thoughts on your shoulders.” Aiden looked down as Edwin looked up at him.
“And you can put the weight on her?” They looked at each other’s eyes again after minutes of avoiding it.
“No! No, stupid! That’s why I can talk to her easily. She doesn’t know me. She won’t get worried like you or the guys do. She just listens to what I have to say and then lets go, continuing her job. If I tell you, it’ll consume your entire brain until you come up with some sort of solution. You have enough on your plate as it is. I don’t wanna add to you or the others’ worries.”
“What the fuck are friends for, then? What does even a relationship mean if you put it that way?” He paused. “Den, I… I can’t think right now. I think I wanna be alone for a bit.” He turned around, walking toward the entrance as he felt a hand stopping him.
“No, stay. I’ll go. Just- please. I’ll leave. It’s safer for you to be here.”
Edwin was about to say something, but Aiden interrupted him.
“I’m not being over-protective. You’ll end up in some bar and get drunk and it can’t happen right now. I’m saying it in concern for my own carrier, okay? So stay. I’ll come back tomorrow.” He said slowly before letting go of Edwin’s hand and walking toward the door.
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