It seems to me that my weekends were the most noticeable cost of the $200,000. Sophie asked me over to her home where we could have lunch together then drop by Finn’s, who wanted to host a movie afternoon. Apparently he has a new sound system and wanted to try it out. Figuring that I’ll have to spend time inside a room with the ac on all day long, I wore the cream colored knit sweater Sophie made. This was a good choice as Sophie couldn’t stop smiling when she saw.
While she prepared lunch, I wandered about her living room and sunroom, finding myself observing the photographs on the walls of the hallway. Most of the photos used the same brightness of color (bright pink, yellow, light blue, orange), making the plain white walls interesting.
The first photo I laid my eyes on was of an octopus on the earthly ground of a forest. The second was of a sunny side up egg on the disk tray of a dvd player. The third was neon colored- a fish taped on the screen of an atm. Another one was of a bed on the shores of the ocean.
“What do you think?” Sophie appeared beside me.
“I don’t understand it.”
“Good. It’s not supposed to make sense.”
“To others?”
“Even me.” She shrugged.
“So, you’re saying…there’s no meaning behind these photos? It just is?” Sophie’s answer wasn’t satisfying. Was it really possible to create a piece of art that does not have any meaning. Even if one claims that there is none, there could be a meaning hidden in the depths of unconsciousness.
“I didn’t say that. It means that there are things that doesn’t make sense and they don’t have to make sense to others. It’s actually fun when people see my photographs and make up these interpretations, twisting the images into something that does make sense for them. They always need explanations.” Sophie shook her head, a dazed look appearing then disappearing. Before I could mull over it, she clapped her hands. “Now, lunch!”
Sophie and I took a taxi to get to her brother’s house. It was a ten minute ride, which could have been a twenty minute one but Sophie mentioned that it’s too much for her when I pointed it out.
The two-story house was owned by their parents but was left under Finn’s name when they passed away. It was massive for a single person, especially with the tall iron gates and long driveway leading to the front door of the house, though it was more of a mansion. A man was watering the plants surrounding the fountain when we arrived.
A minute after we rang the doorbell, Finn swung the wooden double front door dramatically with a wide grin. After greeting us and hugging his older sister, his eyes looked me up and down with a frown. “That’s an ugly sweater.”
“It is, but it’s warm.”
Sophie groaned beside me. “Why do you have to be so mean?” Pushing Finn aside, she stomped her way inside.
Lost as he stared after her sister, Finn blinked repeatedly before turning back to me. “What?”
I shrugged.
It was difficult to believe that this was Sophie’s childhood home. There were barely any traces of her on the walls of the house where framed pictures hung. On top of the fireplace there stood three pictures of young Finn with their parents holding different kinds of trophies. Sophie had one picture, of which she was still a baby.
Behind the armchair was a shelf filled with several golden trophies that had “Finn Astor” engraved. At the very bottom, I was barely able to spot a gold plaque for a national photographic excellence award. Looking at the year it was given, Sophie must’ve been only 17 by then.
My attention was caught by the shelves full of books beside the trophies. There must’ve been hundreds of books. “You have a lot of books,” I pointed out to Finn who was taking out the popcorn from the machine.
“I do.”
“Have you read them?”
“Yes, Sabine. They’re not merely there as decoration.” He rolled his eyes before chuckling and placing down the bowl of popcorn. Sophie browsed the selection of dvd in the cabinet.
“Do you have a favorite?”
Finn glanced at the shelves. “I’m not sure. Maybe 1984. Have you read it?”
“Half-way. I got bored.”
His eyes widened. “What?! Are you sure it’s the one by George Orwell?”
“Yes. I did like animal farm.”
Finn shook his head then proceeds to take a book with a red cover. “Read it again, please.”
I shrugged, deciding that I should probably give it a second chance. I couldn’t even remember the plot of it, only that it bored me out that I couldn’t force myself to read another chapter. I placed the book inside my bag, making sure that nothing would crease it.
“Sabine, which movie do you want?” Sophie showed me three choices: UP, Arrival, and Oceans 8.
Beside me, Finn scoffed. “Wow, you never let me choose.”
Sophie ignored her brother, only waiting for me to pick.
“Arrival is okay.”
With the movie choice, Sophie inserted the disk then hurriedly took some blankets from the armchair. I sat on the couch directly in front of the widescreen. It was so huge that it almost felt like I was in an actual movie theater. Finn joined on my right, holding a can of pepsi.
“Don’t sit there. Take the armchair.” Sophie hit her brother with the blanket, kicking his leg.
“You take the armchair!”
“No.”
“Why?” Finn whined like a baby.
“Because I said so.” Sophie had her eyebrow raised and arms crossed that I almost offered to be the one who would sit on the armchair. I didn’t really mind.
Finn sighed, stopping me from standing up. Slowly, he took the popcorn from the coffee table before plopping down on the armchair. “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
“What?”
“Animal farm.” I laughed at the reference, amazed at how he could memorize sentences from a book.
Sophie scoffed, giving me a pointed look. “Oh so now you’re laughing.”
I kept quiet, not wanting to offend her though I wasn’t sure why she got upset.
With the blanket now covering us, Sophie sat close to me, her arm pressed against mine. No thoughts of roughly pushing her to the other end of the couch appeared like it usually does when someone touches me for too long. I did not get a negative feeling, and so I let her be.
“Stop hogging the popcorn,” Finn whined at her sister. Halfway through the movie, Sophie snatched the bowl from him, sharing the popcorn with me.
“It’s mine.”
He glared at Sophie with his arms crossed. I no longer could focus on the movie playing. “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”
I laughed at another reference from Animal Farm.
“Shut up both of you. I can’t focus.”
“Focus on what?”
“The movie. What else?”
Finn raised an eyebrow, grinning. “Really?”
“Fuck off.”
I couldn’t follow.
The movie ended after an hour. It was only three in the afternoon so instead of heading home already, Finn offered to make coffee. We sat outside in the garden for quite a while as it was thankfully cloudy. Finn and I mostly did the talking, with Sophie barely saying anything other than a yes, no, or I don’t know. Figuring that she was probably tired out, I asked if she was okay when her brother went to get a cupcake in the kitchen. Sophie wanted to go home already and so once Finn came back, she excused herself, even suggesting that I stay if I wanted. Of course I didn’t.
“Do you not like your brother?” I asked while we walked through the driveway. The taxi waited for us outside the gate.
Sophie shrugged. “He’s okay.”
“You kept glaring at him and you seemed upset. Were you?”
She sighed, hesitating. “No, it’s just that… When our parents were still around, he was the favorite. Everything is about him. They’d praise him, give him everything he wants. I just–just felt ignored most of the time and earlier you guys were vibing. I kinda felt invisible for a moment.” Her voice was almost too soft for me to hear and I thought I saw her eyes get watery but she waved me off. “I’m overreacting. Sorry.”
That explains the abundance of Finn’s pictures and awards displayed all over the house. This is one of the rarest times when I could clearly understand what another person is feeling and why. Mom explicitly showed that she favors Charles out of the two of us and a lot of times, I found myself wishing to switch places with him even just once. He always gets to pick first when mom comes home with toys, he was given all the candies he wanted, he was even given the bigger room.
So I knew what Sophie felt and I didn’t want her to feel that way anymore. “I’m sorry for making you feel invisible. I didn’t notice. But if it matters, I like you more than Finn.”
Sophie stopped walking before we could reach the gate and so I followed. Suddenly, she turned around and wrapped her arms around my waist, placing her head near my neck. My heartbeat started to quicken and I didn’t know what to do. I knew I wasn’t angry nor scared, so what is this that I’m feeling.
Not wanting to stress myself out into mulling over the emotion I was feeling that moment, I closed my eyes, merely feeling the way this small person held me. It had been so long since someone hugged me that I’ve forgotten how much I liked it. It reminded me of the calmness I feel when I’m sitting in an armchair starting a new book, rain pouring outside, hot coffee on the side table. I did not know I could get that from another person.
Sophie pulled away and I was left wanting more. She glanced at me through her eyelashes, her lips curving into a smile. The honk of the taxi made us both move quicker as not to miss it.
When we arrived at her house, Sophie was back to her bubbly self. She talked on and on about how she wanted to have a pet but was worried that no one will take care of it when she dies. I didn’t care. All I could think about was taking her arms and putting it around me like she did earlier.
The reason she gave me a hug was most likely because I said I liked her more than Finn. Maybe… “I like you more than cupcakes.”
Sophie paused her ramblings, blinked her wide eyes while her cheeks turned red. “Umm… thank you?”
I stared, waiting. Why is she not doing anything?
“What?” She asked, eyes looking everywhere except mine.
Perhaps that wasn’t enough. “I like you more than coffee.”
“That’s…that’s a huge compliment. Thanks.”
I thought she was smarter than this but she’s taking too long to comprehend. “I want a hug.”
Sophie’s eyes finally looked into mine, staring like I did before laughing. Covering her face with her hands she tipped her head back, almost falling off the end of the couch if it wasn’t for the arm rest.
My fist clench as I felt lost. “What’s so funny?”
Sophie removed her hands from her face but the smile still remained. “Nothing, nothing.” Then she opened her arms wide. “Come here.”
I’m going to give her a hard time pushing me off of her. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes, anyway.Â
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