Sophie came back after five minutes, or twenty, I couldn’t tell as time passed by quickly while I stared at the lighthouse blinking red. The evidence of her crying was still present in her red eyes as she sat beside me along with an apology. She apologized for walking away and getting angry and was hoping that I forgive her. There was nothing to forgive however, as I knew that anger is a secondary emotion preceded by hurt or embarrassment.
I realized that I somehow rejected her by not reciprocating her feelings of falling in love. This, I laid all out to her by clearing that it would be unlikely for me to ever return those feelings and that I hope she wouldn’t expect anything from me in that regards. Sophie thought otherwise.
Reciprocity for Sophie, I have learned, was not so important as I found myself invited on another getaway at a camp located in a secluded part of a mountain. I half expected that my encounters with the blonde would gradually lessen until it’s non existent following the rejection, but I am glad that it didn’t considering that lately, I’ve been looking forward to her visits at the bookstore.
The camp was accessible to the public without fees although registering and watching a ten minute video on waste disposal and camp manners, the dos and don’ts, was required before entering the camp.
The sun has set by the time Sophie and I found a spot several meters from the edge of the cliff where rolling over to your death while asleep is highly plausible.
It took forty minutes of pulling and grumbling to set up a fairly large tent, 30 minutes of which was of Sophie and I desperately trying to figure out where the sticks were supposed to be positioned before we gave up and asked the nearby campers for help.
Sophie placed a blanket across from the tent where we laid the dinner we prepared beforehand. The wind has become quite cold sand the stars more prominent. There was twice as much stars tonight.
Possibly an hour after we finished dinner, Sophie was suddenly breathing heavily while we laid on the blanket listening to music as we watched the stationary stars. “Being cute is taking a toll on me. I’m exhausted.” She chuckled but was cut off with a sharp breath intake that sounded painful. I asked her if whether we should go down and look for a nearby hospital for a checkup but Sophie insisted on staying, merely taking a pill for it.
When Sophie’s breathing stabled and any discomfort gone, she handed me a spare black compact camera and started teaching me how to take photos, at least the basics of it.
“That’s pretty,” Sophie complimented as she leaned over my shoulder and down at the screen of the camera, our cheeks almost grazing. “Not as pretty as you, obviously.” She slightly turned her head towards me and I watched as her eyes focused on my lips before facing away. “Not even close. What the hell?” She mumbled.
I’ve had people appreciate my appearance that apparently meets the beauty standards of many but none of them I believed except this dying girl. What was it about her that made it easy to trust the words coming out of her mouth?
“It must be very late already.” The amount of time that passed was lost on me as I have not glanced on my phone since dinner. It could be an hour or it could be hours.
From my peripheral, Sophie lifted her arm for the watch on her wrist. “It is. It’s 8:40.”
“What?” It couldn’t have been only 8:40. I checked my phone. “It’s 10:30.”
Sophie glanced at her watch once again, her eyebrows furrowing. “Right. I meant 10:30.”
Shrugging, I refocused my attention on the sparkle that caught my eye. On Sophie’s ring finger was a silver glittery ring that had a tiny white bear sitting on top. How I have not noticed this earlier, I don’t know. Carefully, taking her hand, I lifted it closer for inspection. It was so…so her to wear such accessory.
The feeling of her hand on mine distracted me from the ring. “Your hands are so soft and tiny.”
Sophie groaned. “Stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Saying things that makes me want to kiss you.”
“What are those words, specifically?”
“Any word.”
“Oh.”
A giggle came out of her lips, muffled by her hands covering it. I decided that she was joking and that if I said a word, she wouldn’t kiss me suddenly like she said. I had minimal experience when it came to kissing. A couple of dates, yes, but not all of them ended with a kiss.
“Lay down and put your head on my lap.”
Sophie patted her stretched legs and I followed without thinking twice. I was getting sleepy as it’s way past my bedtime.
The stars looked the same sideways. Fingers comb through my hair softly as if it was barely even there, making me blink slower.
A light tug of my hair replaced the combing. “What are you doing?”
“Making tiny braids,” Sophie whispered amongst the chirping of the crickets.
My eyes were getting difficult to open with every blink. The singing of the birds, the smell of grass and trees, and Sophie’s fingers softly combing and tugging my hair made me feel like I’d rather not be anywhere else than here…like, this is where I should be, where I belong and cared for.
Here, lying with my head on Sophie’s lap, it was like I’ve just plopped on my bed after a long day working at the bookstore, except this time, it was like coming home after being lost for too many years.
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