 What the hell is he doing here?
It has been years since Sakura last saw her dad outside a stadium or a soccer court, and if she had to be honest, recently, she found it hard to even imagine him outside of those two places.
But there’s no doubt that it’s him, strolling in the distance. She would recognize that peculiar gait anywhere: hands behind his back, he’s walking in that slow but deliberate manner, trying his best to hide his limp.
“Sakura?” Kazuha calls out to her, eyebrows deeply furrowed as she takes off her headphones, and only then Sakura realizes they’ve stopped running.
He can’t see us together, she thinks to herself in panic, leaving Kazuha’s questioning gaze unanswered.
“Are you okay?”
Jump into the river? Ditch Kazuha and run back home?
As she tries to come up with an escape plan, Kazuha approaches her, visibly alarmed by her behavior. She tries to look over her shoulder to follow Sakura’s line of vision but in that moment, Sakura grabs her arm and drags her to the nearest tree.
Her first instinct is to hide behind it, but the tree isn’t wide enough to hide them both, so she presses her back against it and pulls Kazuha closer to herself to use her body as a cover.
The younger girl lets out a startled yelp, her hand bracing against the tree trunk next to Sakura’s head to avoid collision.
“What’s going on?”
Once again, Kazuha wants to check what’s behind them, but Sakura reaches her hand to firmly cup her cheek, preventing her from looking away.
“Don’t look behind you,” she mutters, still not letting go of Kazuha’s cheek which turned significantly warmer under her touch.
“O-okay,” Kazuha mumbles, her eyes flitting all over Sakura’s face before settling on a spot above her head.
Craning her neck to look over Kazuha’s shoulder, Sakura checks the location of her dad. Thankfully, he has walked past already without noticing either of them.
Sakura heaves a sigh, closing her eyes and slumping against the tree. When she opens them again, Kazuha’s gaze flickers to her face, and it finally dawns on her the kind of position they are in – Kazuha towering above her, so close she can practically feel the heat emanating off the girl’s body. Her eyes shy, her cheeks flushed, and when she speaks her breath skims across Sakura’s ear, making her shudder.
“Is i-it okay now?”
Sakura swallows hard, heart pounding so loud in her ears she can barely hear her own thoughts. And so she can only nod to Kazuha’s question; she doesn’t trust the kind of sound that would leave her lips if she opened them now.
Kazuha pulls away from her, taking two steps back, and Sakura can finally take a breath without the fear of brushing up against the girl.
“Sooo what was that about?” Kazuha asks cautiously.
“Uhm, I…” Sakura stutters as she tries to come up with some convincing explanation to that bizarre stunt she just pulled off, but she still hasn’t fully recovered from whatever that situation was a moment ago and her thoughts consist of only one phrase repeated over and over again – that was too close, way too close .
And the worst part is, she’s not even sure what situation she’s referring to – her dad almost seeing them together, or Kazuha’s body almost pressing against hers.
“Have you perhaps seen someone you didn’t want to see?” Kazuha prompts and Sakura recognizes concern in her voice.
But she doesn’t want to mention her dad. It’s too complicated, and she wouldn’t even know where to begin. So although she wanted to avoid this at all cost, she feels like she has no other option but to lie.
“Yeah, Daisuke,” she says while avoiding Kazuha’s gaze.
“Daisuke?”
“Yes, my ex-roommate’s fiancé. He’s a big fan of our team so if he saw us, he would most likely bother us with questions and such.”
“I see…” Kazuha frowns.
“But don’t worry, he’s harmless,” Sakura assures since her explanation hasn’t seemed to alleviate all of Kazuha’s concerns. “You probably thought I’ve lost my mind, huh?” she says, hoping that maybe a bit of humor will help.
Kazuha’s eyes crinkle. “Something like that,” she admits with a teasing lilt to her voice.
Sakura grins, shaking her head, but then she notices Kazuha’s palm and her eyes widen in shock.
“Shit, your hand.” She steps up to the girl and gently takes her right palm into hers. “You’re bleeding.”
“Ah, it’s nothing. I must have scraped it against the tree trunk.” Kazuha waves her other hand dismissively.
But Sakura ignores her and carefully examines the wound. It’s nothing serious, just a few scratches at the heel of her palm but they’re deep enough for some blood to seep through. Luckily, she doesn’t notice any splinters under the skin.
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, feeling again like a jerk.
Why does she always have to end up hurting the girl in one way or another? Meanwhile all this time, Kazuha has been nothing but nice to her.
“It’s okay.” Kazuha takes Sakura’s palms into her own and gives them a gentle squeeze. “I’ll survive. Besides, it’s not like I’m a goalkeeper, right?”
Sakura looks up into her smiling eyes then back at their linked hands and for whatever reason she finds it hard to let go. And so, she doesn’t.
“Come. I’ll take care of this,” she says and holding Kazuha’s left hand, leads her to the nearest open drugstore where she buys bandages and some disinfectant.
After they return to the park, they take a seat on a bench under a tree further from the walkway, and Sakura starts cleaning Kazuha’s wound. She applies the disinfectant, blowing on the girl’s palm when she hisses in pain.
“Where did you learn to do this?” Kazuha asks when Sakura carefully bandages her palm.
“My mom taught me. She’s a doctor and she was always busy with work so she couldn’t attend to my every scraped knee or hand, and I had my fair share of those as a kid. I bet you can relate.” She looks up at Kazuha and the girl acknowledges her words with a nod and a grin.
“So she showed me how to take care of those when she wasn’t around. But also, I think she hoped that by teaching me stuff like that, it would stir an interest in me to become a doctor and follow in her footsteps instead of my dad’s.” Sakura’s voice grows wistful as she reminds herself of her mother’s disappointed eyes when she told her she was choosing to stay in Tokyo with her dad and play soccer.
She was 16 back then, and it was the last time the two of them spoke to each other. There are days when she wonders how she’s doing now but doesn’t find enough courage in herself to contact her, because she doesn’t know what would be worse: to find out that her mother has moved on and no longer cares about her, or that she hasn’t and she still wants her to give up on soccer.
As if sensing the shift in her mood, Kazuha asks teasingly, “Let me guess, you had really good grades at school, huh?”
“I actually did, yeah.” Sakura glances at the girl again and shoots her a smug smile. “What about you?”
“Well…” Kazuha avoids her gaze, scratching at her cheek. “Let’s say they were good enough.”
Sakura snickers. “You were a jock, weren’t you?”
“Yeeeah,” Kazuha drawls, scrunching her face.
Sakura grins and returns her attention to her palm.
“There you go. All done,” she says, once she’s finished.
Kazuha examines her bandaged hand from each side. “Your mom would be proud.”
Sakura takes a sharp inhale, hearing the compliment.
“I hope so,” she says with a tight-lipped smile. “What about your parents?” she asks to quickly change the topic.
“My parents? They’re corporate workers, but they’ve never actually wanted me to follow in their footsteps. They’ve never said this, but I feel like they hate their job, you know? And they’ve been really supportive of my career, even though they cannot attend my matches most of the time due to their busy schedules. And I’m pretty sure they both still don’t know what an offside is.”
They both smile at that.
“Actually, that’s something I always envied you.”
Sakura frowns. What could Kazuha possibly envy her? From what she just told her, her life seemed pretty much perfect. She had a loving, supportive family and a nicely developing career; what else could she ask for? If anything, it’s Sakura who should envy her, and if she were to be honest, she does, a little.
“How your dad is a famous soccer player and you can share your passion with him.”
Sakura swallows the scoff that threatens to escape her lips when she hears Kazuha say that. Her envy might have been justified once but not anymore.
“Uhm, we should head back home if we don’t want to be late for the training,” Sakura says as she leaves the bench and puts on her headphones.
All throughout their run back home, she cannot get rid of the anxious feeling, thinking that her dad may still be somewhere around and wondering whether they should change their jogging route from now on.
🌸ðŸƒ
“What is going on there?” Chaewon approaches Sakura when she drinks water on the sideline.
They’ve just finished their training and now they have a short break, before the coach will call them for the meeting to discuss their strategy for the upcoming match on Sunday.
Sakura follows her friend’s line of vision and sees Yunjin and Kazuha standing under a goalpost, looking like they’re caught up in a very heated discussion, or perhaps an argument. Whatever its topic, they both seem to be very passionate about it, judging by all their exaggerated gesticulating.
“I don’t know, but we better check on them.”
Nearing the two, Sakura is finally able to discern what they’re talking about.
“Zuha, with all due respect, but Chaewon is way better dribbler than Sakura.”
“Yunjin, with all due respect, but that’s just simply not true.”
Sakura exchanges a confused look with Chaewon. Neither of them expected that they themselves would be the cause of disagreement between the two. And Sakura wonders how did it even happen that they ended up talking about her and Chaewon’s skills in the first place. Do they really not have anything better to talk about?
“When you look at the statistics, Sakura has—”
“Guys, what’s going on here?” Chaewon interjects Kazuha’s argument.
Noticing Sakura, the striker takes a step back from Yunjin but maintains her resolute expression, eyebrows pinched and lips a thin line.
“Our new friend here,” Yunjin intones melodramatically while pointing with her open palm to Kazuha, “is trying to convince me that Sakura is a better dribbler than you.”
Kazuha crosses arms at her chest. “I have statistics to back up my claim.”
Sakura’s eyebrows shoot up as she glances at the girl. Weren’t Kazuha supposed to be a jock with good enough grades? But now somehow she’s an expert on soccer statistics? She shakes her head, amused. Will the girl ever stop surprising her?
“Besides.” Kazuha moves to stand next to Sakura and puts her arm around her shoulder. “Soon, me and Sakura are going to prove it once and for all when we win the World Cup together, right Sakura?”
Sakura stares at the girl, not sure what perplexes her more – Kazuha’s cheeky words or her bold actions.
“Why wait so long?” Yunjin smirks and throws her arm over Chaewon’s shoulder in the same manner Kazuha just did to Sakura. “Why not settle it here, once and for all? Me and Chaewon versus you and Kkura. First to score three goals, wins.”
“Fine,” Kazuha readily accepts the challenge.
“Wait.” Sakura removes Kauzha’s arm, casting a quick glance at the stands where her dad is sitting.
Shit. Did he see that?
She looks back at Kazuha. “Don’t you think that’s a bit childish? Right, Chaewon?”
“Uhm, yeah,” the midfielder mumbles, cheeks slightly reddened.
“Oh come on Wonnie, where’s your competitive spirit?” Yunjin pouts, staring at Chaewon with her big, puppy eyes. “If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for me, hm?”
“Well…” Chaewon smiles nervously while Yunjin keeps batting her long eyelashes at her, and Sakura can already tell her friend’s resolve is crumbling and she’s about to give in. “I guess it could be fun?”
Sakura heaves a sigh, rolling her eyes.
“Awesome! I’m gonna borrow gloves from Shizuma,” Kazuha says and runs to their substitute goalkeeper.
“Zuha! What about your hand?!” Sakura calls out after her.
Kazuha spins around mid-run, flashing her a grin. “Don’t worry! I’ll be fine!”
Sakura pinches the bridge of her nose. Her dad is still watching them, and she starts wondering how she’s going to explain all of this to him, cause she’s sure he’ll ask her about it. But she’ll have to figure this out later, because Yunjin has already set up four cones as the makeshift goalposts, and Kazuha is back, putting on her gloves.
“Guess we’re gonna find out how good of a goalkeeper I could have been.” She smiles at Sakura knowingly then goes to take her position in the ‘goal’.
“But I prefer you as a striker, playing next to me,” Sakura mutters and immediately her eyes widen and cheeks flush because she realizes she has actually said those words out loud while they were supposed to stay in her head only.
Kazuha stares at her, mouth hanging slightly ajar before she flashes her the widest grin ever.
“May the best dribbler win!” Yunjin announces.
“Let’s win this.” Kazuha claps her hands and winks at Sakura.
And the battle, or however one may call it, for the best dribbler begins.
At first it’s pretty tame with Chaewon and Sakura just fooling around, but tackle after tackle, it intensifies, catching the attention of the rest of the team that gathers around them, cheering and spurring them on. But without a doubt, the loudest support comes from the two goalkeepers.
“You’ve got this, Chaewon!”
“You can do this, Sakura!”
It’s like Yunjin and Kazuha are having a competition of their own on who is cheering louder.
Sakura scores first and the dolphin scream of triumph Kazuha lets out when it happens must have been heard all the way in Osaka. Laughing, Sakura runs to high five her.
The game resumes, and soon Chaewon scores a goal as well. Yunjin runs to her and scoops her into her arms, twirling them around. And of course, Kazuha being Kazuha decides to copy them, so when Sakura scores a moment later, she does the same to her.
Sakura squeezes her eyes shut, holding onto the girl as they spin and when she’s finally back on the ground, she’s dizzy and has to hold onto Kazuha’s arm for a moment.
“Don’t ever do this again.” She glares at the girl but supposes that in her woozy state, and judging by Kazuha’s giggles, it’s not very effective.
The game continues and soon, Chaewon brings the score to 2:2 and that’s when their coach calls them for the meeting which is met with groans of displeasure from their gathered teammates as they disperse.
“We’ll get back to this.” Yunjin points her finger at Kazuha.
“You bet we will,” Kazuha says right back, mimicking the goalkeeper’s gesture.
“What has gotten into these two?” Chaewon asks Sakura as they follow the duo.
“No idea,” Sakura replies, watching as the goalkeeper and the striker continue to bicker in front of them. “But that was fun. I don’t remember when was the last time we practiced like that.” She glances at Chaewon, smiling.
“Yeah. We should do it again some time.”
“But maybe without them.”
“I don’t know. They were quite cute cheering for us like that. A little obnoxious, sure, but cute. Don’t you think so?”
They were cute, or Yunjin was cute, is what Sakura wants to ask but doesn’t. However, the way Chaewon’s eyes linger on the goalkeeper doesn’t escape her notice and answers all her questions.
“I guess,” Sakura mutters, staring at Kazuha’s back and as if sensing her gaze, the girl glances over her shoulder and smiles, a soft, content smile which gives off an impression like their little competition ended with them winning.
And Sakura has no idea why but that’s exactly how she feels. And it’s not that she thinks she’s better than Chaewon or something. No. There’s something more to that lightness and comfort she feels right now, but it’s like its true meaning stubbornly eludes her. Yet whatever it is, Kazuha seems to get it, so for once, Sakura tries not to overthink it and just smiles back.
🌸ðŸƒ
Dad
meet me after the training
Standing in front of her open locker, Sakura stares blankly at her phone. She was about to leave with Kazuha when her dad messaged her.
What does he want? Has he seen us at the park, after all?
She bites the inside of her cheek.
I could tell him we just bumped into each other. It’s not like we have written on our foreheads that we’re roommates. Right. Why haven’t I thought of this earlier?
But then she reminds herself of their training, the competition she had with Chaewon and more importantly, Kazuha’s arm hanging off her shoulder and their silly celebration. Those little displays of familiarity may cast doubt on her flimsy alibi. And although she has decided to ignore her dad’s opinions about Kazuha, she still doesn’t plan to reveal to him that they’re actually friends, living together.
The mere thought of revealing that to him fills her with stomach churning anxiety which is weird considering she has more or less accepted that he may want to cut ties with her once he realizes she no longer listens to him and his advice.
But that’s maybe because she still believes that once she starts winning, he’ll reach out to her again, whereas if she tells him she doesn’t hate Kazuha and in fact, she quite likes her and enjoys her company, then there’s no coming back from that. Somehow it feels as if their friendship would be the biggest transgression – her ignoring all the lessons about Kazuha he preaches to her so passionately every time they see each other.
“Ready?” Kazuha asks as she bounds up to Sakura.
“I’m sorry,” Sakura says with a pained expression. “There’s something I need to take care of, and I won’t be able to go back home with you today.”
Kazuha’s energy deflates. “Oh, okay, yeah, no worries,” she assures, but the smile she gives Sakura lacks its usual brightness. “Can I maybe see you off to wherever you’re going?”
“No, that won’t be necessary.”
Kazuha nods reluctantly. “See you later then.”
“See you,” Sakura says and watches as Kazuha catches up to Chaewon and Yunjin who were just about to leave.
With a sigh, she closes her locker and goes to face her dad, all the way wondering what she’s going to tell him if he asks her about Kazuha. Maybe she could convince him that Kazuha treats her as a friend but it’s a completely one-sided sentiment? That the girl is somewhat delusional about it?
She cringes at the mere thought of such a lie. And so she doesn’t come up with anything by the time she finds her dad on the stands, leaning against the railing and looking over the field.
“Hi,” she greets him, despite knowing he won’t greet her back and walks up to stand beside him. “What did you want to talk about?” she asks right away.
Whatever he’s about to tell her, she just wants to be over with it already.
“Your coach expects you two to cooperate.”
Duh… she almost wants to say but stops herself. “Basically, yeah.”
“Meet me at the soccer court, today,” he says as he steps away from the railing.
Sakura furrows her brows. “Today?”
They’ve never had their training on her regular practice days.
“Yes, at six,” her dad confirms, glancing at her, his eyes sharp and cold. “The only way you can be ahead of her is through practicing alone. You have to push yourself to the limit if you want to get into the national team, Sakura. You won’t achieve it through playing stupid games with your friends.”
And with that he walks away.
🌸ðŸƒ
Sakura enters the apartment, swaying on her feet and has to brace her hand against the wall so that she won’t fall. Her bag slides down her other arm, falling to the floor with a thud. She winces at the sound and stands still for a moment, listening.
But thankfully, Kazuha seems to be sleeping already as she doesn’t show up to greet her. She really wouldn’t want the girl to see her in her current half-dead state.
She picks up her bag and shuffles to her room where she throws herself onto the bed and falls asleep.
When her alarm clock starts ringing, she considers turning it off and just going back to sleep.
You need to push yourself to the limit.
Her dad’s words echo in her head. But the problem is, she feels like she has already reached her limit. Nonetheless, her sense of duty wins and she leaves her bed, massaging her shoulder since it still bothers her.
As she refills her water bottle in the kitchen, she starts planning in her head all the alternative jogging routes they can take to make sure they won’t run into her dad in case his morning stroll wasn’t a one time thing and then she realizes that Kazuha still seems to be sleeping.
Maybe she’s skipping the morning jog today? she wonders but decides to check on the girl, anyway.
“Zuha?” She knocks on the door to Kazuha’s room, but there’s no answer. However, she does hear some mumbling on the other side as well as… meowing? “Are you watching kitten videos on your phone, again? Come on, we need to leave.”
Just then Kazuha steps outside her room, quickly shutting the door behind herself as if to make sure Sakura doesn’t notice what’s inside.
Sakura arches her eyebrow. “Is everything okay?”
“Y-yeah, everything is fine,” the girl assures her with a nervous smile as her gaze keeps drifting to the door. “Why you ask?”
“‘Cause you’re acting kind of weird?”
“Weird? Nah. It’s fine. I’m fine.”
And then, as if to dispute everything that has just been said, a loud meow resounds, coupled with a very distinct sound of a cat clawing at the door.
“Do you have a cat in there?” Not waiting for Kazuha’s answer, Sakura pushes her away and opens the door.
A tiny calico kitten stumbles through the threshold and waddles to Kazuha, nuzzling against her ankles while meowing adorably.
“Can we keep it? Please, please, please,” Kazuha starts begging as she falls to her knees and clasps her hands. “I’ll take care of it. I’ve already bought everything it needs.”
Sakura stares at her wide-eyed. “Okay, first of all, calm down and stand up.”
Kazuha immediately does as she’s told.
Sakura looks at the kitten then back into Kazuha’s pleading eyes and sighs. “Where did you even get it?”
“I found her yesterday on my way home. At first, when I saw her, I just planned to pet her but then she started following me and I couldn’t just abandon her. Look how tiny and adorable she is.” Kazuha points to the kitten that currently licks its tiny paw, blissfully unaware that its fate is about to be decided. “Please say we can keep her.”
Truth to be told, Sakura has a soft spot for cats. She used to have an orange tabby, Maru-chan, as a kid. Sadly, one day he escaped and never came back. She searched for him with her parents, but they hadn’t been able to find him. She was devastated about it and had never shed more tears than in that week that followed Maru’s disappearance.
Of course, eventually, she came to terms with it but perhaps due to how harrowing that whole experience was, she hadn’t considered getting another cat, even though her landlord had nothing against animals. But this tiny fluff that’s currently rolling on the floor under Kazuha’s feet wouldn’t be hers.
“The landlord is okay with animals so it’s up to you if you want to keep it,” she says with a shrug and then lets out a yelp when Kazuha pulls her in for a hug.
“Thank you. You’re the best, Sakura,” she says as she gently leans her head against Sakura’s, reminding Sakura of how the cat nuzzled against her just a moment ago.
Dumbfounded and flushed, Sakura stands stiffly, letting herself be hugged, even though she knows there’s absolutely no need for Kazuha to thank her, let alone hug her.
“S-sure,” she mumbles, trying hard not to think how nice the girl smells and failing miserably (jasmine and something fruity). “Z-zuha, we should be leaving, you know?”
“Right.” Kazuha finally lets go of her, and Sakura curses the confusing disappointment that the loss of contact brings.
On the other hand, Kazuha seems to be entirely unbothered as she scoops the kitten into her palm and lifts it, bumping their foreheads together. “Behave well, tiny one. We’ll come back soon,” she says and the kitten replies with a meow.
Sakura observes the girl, thinking that sometimes Kazuha acts like an alien from another planet who came to study humans and yesterday she happened to discover cats.
“What are you laughing about?” the girl asks, smiling as she puts down the kitten.
Sakura shakes her head. “Nothing. Let’s go.”
Before they leave the apartment, Sakura glances over her shoulder at the kitten who came to see them off.
Promise me, you won’t leave her, tiny one.
The kitten lets out a loud meow and waddles back to Kazuha’s room.
🌸ðŸƒ
Dad
meet me after the training
Sakura blinks at her phone, feeling like that guy in that one movie in which he relives the same day over and over again until he finally gets it right. Just that if she was in that movie, then today should have been the day when she got it right, because the training went perfectly normal today.
Nothing happened that would require her dad’s ‘intervention’. No silly games. No overzealous celebrations. They didn’t even play a scrimmage match today. What could he possibly want from her? But then she looks at the calendar hanging in her locker, and it dawns on her.
Call ups for the national squad…
They should be starting in a few days, but Sakura’s dad always has an early insider’s info about it, since him and Futoshi Ikeda, the Japan women’s national team coach, used to play together and they still talk to each other. Ikeda is actually the only person from his soccer days with whom he hasn’t lost touch.
How could I forget about this?
“Ready?” Kazuha’s cheerful voice comes from behind Sakura.
It pains her that she’ll have to tell the girl again that she can’t go back home with her. But when she turns around, she doesn’t have to actually say anything; Kazuha already knows, having read it all from her face.
“You have to take care of something again, don’t you?” the girl asks meekly.
“I’m sorry.”
And she truly is, not only because it means that Kazuha has to go home alone again but also because she doesn’t tell her why. She hopes Kazuha won’t think she’s trying to avoid her again.
“It’s okay. No worries. I cannot promise though that I won’t bring home another kitten if I happen to stumble upon one.” Kazuha gives her that mischievous grin which Sakura finds herself growing increasingly fond of each time she sees it.
She bites the inside of her cheek, fighting the smile from her lips, but it shows the moment she starts talking, anyway. “As long as it’s kittens that you bring, I’m fine with it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Kazuha chuckles.
They say their goodbyes, and Sakura waits until Kazuha leaves the locker room, before she goes to meet her dad.
She finds him standing in the same spot as yesterday, and as she starts approaching him, he already starts talking, “I met with Ikeda yesterday.”
She stops, knuckles turning white as she clutches the strap of her duffel bag, awaiting his next words.
“You didn’t get in.”
It feels like a gut punch. She takes a shuddering breath and looks down as if in shame.
Given her recent performance, she should have seen it coming but that still doesn’t make the news any easier to accept. She swallows the dreadful disappointment that clogs her throat; she refuses to cry in front of her dad.
“See you at six,” her dad says and starts to walk away.
“Wait!” she yells after him, surprised when he actually stops to listen.
For a moment she hesitates, not sure if she wants to know the answer to what she’s about to ask, but then she thinks that she’ll find out anyway, sooner or later, so she may as well be over with it already.
“Yes, Sakura?” Her dad turns around to face her. “Is there anything you would like to ask me?”
She nods.
“What about Kazuha?”
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