The two of them woke up Saturday morning, both deciding to sleep in until 11 a.m. Jisung snuggled up closer to the older as Minho was trying to sit up to get out of bed. Jisung clung to him like a koala, desperate for the older’s warmth to not leave him.
“Come on, Sungie. We got to get up, I heard your stomach growl an hour ago.”
“But you’re so warm.” Jisung mumbled into Minho’s chest, the sound being muffled showing just how close the two boys were. Minho smiled and ruffled Jisung’s hair. “Just lay in bed a little longer until I call you, then?” He heard a sigh but Jisung did let go off the older, turning around and grabbing a pillow to hug instead. It wasn’t as warm as the boy, but it would do. Minho chuckled and stood up, making his way to the kitchen.
As soon as Minho left the room, Jisung let out an even bigger sigh as he turned on his back, staring up at the wall. ‘What am I doing?’ He frowned. He couldn’t help but think about how much closer he had grown closer to Minho. He didn’t understand why and it frustrated him. He couldn’t do it with Chan or Seungmin, it had taken him weeks to grow even remotely comfortable with them. Now comparing to Minho, he was snuggling in his bed with him, on multiple occasions too. All that within a months time. Why was it that he felt compelled to stay close to the older, what was so special about him?
‘Why do you make me feel this way? Why does it feel like I’m liking you more than just a crush?’ He had never imagined himself to crush on someone other than the one person he had felt feelings for in the past. He always thought there would be no one to understand him besides Changbin, but of course he was just his best friend. ‘Is it okay? To fall for Minho hyung?’ It was as if his heart wanted to leap out of his chest and run to the elder, Jisung had no control over it whatsoever. His breath caught in his throat whenever Minho would give him one of his warm smiles, which seemed reserved just for him. He couldn’t continue to think about it, it would make him emotional thinking Minho might not even like him back.
He sighed and finally got up, making his way towards the small kitchen. He ruffled his hair as he came up behind Minho and looked over his shoulder standing on his tipy toes. Eggs and melted cheese sandwich. It was simple enough but still managed to smell pretty good.
“Next time I’ll make you food.” Jisung said as he got handed a plate. Minho laughed, “Whilst I will admit that I’m a disaster for anything that isn’t instant ramyeon or a simple melted cheese sandwich, I’m not sure if I trust you in the kitchen. I have more life experience, after all.”
“Well, my dad can’t cook to safe his life. Trust me, I’m great. Or well, more than average. I can make a sick spaghetti.”
“Alright, next time we have dinner you better let me taste that ‘sick spaghetti’ of yours.”
The two of them enjoy breakfast whilst chatting about their plans for the weekend. Minho wasn’t planning on anything other than relaxing and cleaning up his apartment. Jisung mentioned he had to go home soon to go to work but other than that, he had a nice relaxing weekend as well. The two of them finished their breakfast and Jisung and Minho both changed into different clothes.
“Hyung?”
“Yea?”
“Thank you… for not looking at them.”
“No need to thank me for that, Jisung. I’m just doing what would make you comfortable.” They exchanged a smile and Minho helped Jisung pack his stuff. “Are you sure you’ll be able to walk home with this on your own?” Minho asked again, the two making their way to the front door.
“Yes, I’ll be fine. It’s just a backpack and a bag with my pillow in it, hyung.” Jisung stepped outside and turned around to face Minho. Both remembered the last time they had stood like this, but now their places were reversed. Jisung’s ears turned a light shade of red as he remembered how embarrassed he was with himself afterwards.
“Alright then, text me when you get home!”
“Will do, see you on Monday hyung!” Minho gave Jisung a farewell as well and with that the younger was off. He had thought about leaving the older with a peck on the cheeks, but he had quickly decided it would’ve been too out of the blue to just do it. If he was going to make a move, it had to be at the perfect timing. Plus, he didn’t want it to be awkward on Monday, especially after finding out Minho has a crush on someone and he still didn’t know who it was.
He couldn’t help but have a small smile on his lips as he walked home. The weather was nice for March, the sun was shining and there was a light breeze, making it perfect weather to do something outside. It was a good day and Jisung finally didn’t feel too bad, considering how bad the previous day had been for him. He has been pushed out of his comfort zone lately, by himself but Changbin and Minho as well, but it surprisingly has been going very well. He still gets pretty anxious on occassions, but he has been feeling comfortable with all the new friends he made. The things he got so worked up on yesterday evening seemed so little, almost unimportant. The whole thing with Felix had left him quite embarrassed. He hates the fact that he can’t seem to do the simplest of things, all because he is ruining his life all by himself. He shook of the feeling, deciding today was a good day and he wasn’t going to let anything stop that, not even his dark intrusive thoughts.
Whilst he opened the front door and walked in, the smell of alcohol didn’t immediately hit him. There were no sounds coming from the television nor the radio and the soft snores from his dad weren’t heard either. Jisung closed the door silently, now scared his dad might come out angrily and hurt him again. He slowly dropped the bag he had been carrying in his left hand and peeked his head around the corner carefully, checking his livingroom and kitchen to see if his dad was there.
He raised his brows as he realised his house looked the exact same as how he left it the day before. It was clean, no soju bottles on the table and no takeout boxes littered on the ground. As if his father hadn’t been in the living room at all, there was no sign of a deranged drunk.
“Okay….. maybe he is just sleeping?” He said to himself, quickly running up the stairs worriedly. If his father was in his room, it could be just as bad as him not being there. Who knows if he passed out face down and choked to death? What if he fell because his balance is absolute shit and hit his head, leaving him to bleed to death on the floor? Jisung shook his head, tryimg desperately to rid himself off those thoughts. He knocked but got no response, his heart hammering against his ribcage. He opened the door and found an empty room.
His dad hadn’t come home at all. He could feel himself panicking and he didn’t know what to do. His mind came to the conclusion that he needed Changbin. With shaky hands, he reached for his phone, completely forgetting Changbin might have his own problems and feelings to deal with.
“Hey Sungie! What’s up?” Changbin asked as he picked up. “My dad hasn’t been home since yesterday and I don’t know what to do.” Is all he said. He felt guilty for calling Changbin with an issue again when he was probably concerned for his own grandmother, but he realised it was what he needed as he started to sob quietly. Thankfully, it seemed as if wasn’t heard over the phone as Changbin didn’t address it at all.
“Oh shit. Do you want me to come over?”
“No, no don’t! I-I just wanted advice because I feel a little lost and don’t know what to do.”
“Well… have you tried calling the police? Or maybe you should just go to the station. Asking if he has come in or something. Maybe your dad went out and got himself arrested, seeing your not allowed to be drunk publicly. I know he doesn’t typically do dumb stuff but you never know. If not, tell them he’s missing?”
“They’re not going to do shit about that. They’ll just say ‘he’s an adult he can leave if he wants.”
“Well, maybe. But I think if you tell them the whole story that may be different?” Jisung sighed. He really didn’t want anyone to know, especially not the police. Who knows what they would ask him? If he tells them he’s been taking care of himself and his father financially and physically for years, who knows what they might do? Neglecting a child is something you could get charged with, although, thag’s what Jisung thought. Yet his father being a raging alcoholic that has gone missing scared him so much, it probably was time to confess.
“Alright, thanks Binnie. I’ll keep you updated, love you.”
“Love you too, good luck!”
Jisung hung up and quickly grabbed his keys as well as his car key. He hadn’t driven in a while, saving expenses, however he felt like every second could matter. Maybe he would find his dad walking around on the streets somewhere, it was best to not take the metro.
The thought was shortlived, as Jisung didn’t see anyone that could resemble his father whilst keeping his eyes on traffic. He made it to the police station and locked his car before entering.
“Good afternoon, what can I help you with?” A lady behind the counter asked.
“Well, my dad left our house yesterday morning. I left to go to college and afterwards stayed at a friends’ house for the night. But when I came back this morning… the house was exactly like I-I left it and he hasn’t come home. I was wondering if he may have ended up here as he… tends to drink a lot.” The lady raised a brow. It was probably dumb to come here, Jisung thought.
“What’s his name, I can have a look in the system for you.”
“Han Iseok.” The lady typed away in the computer for a short moment.
“I’m sorry, no one with that name came in the past two days. I don’t know if I can do much more for you, as he is an adult.” Jisung had expected that answer, feeling slightly agitated at the thought that these things weren’t taken seriously. Adult or not, anyone can go missing and anyone can end up dead if they get in the wrong place, at the wrong time. He decided to not show his anger and frustration towards the woman, however on the inside he was sending many daggers her way.
“I-I see. Could you ask officers to look out for him maybe? I don’t think he would just leave on his own, but I feel uneasy. He has…” Jisung paused for a moment before letting out a sigh. “He is an alcohol addict. I’m just scared he got himself in a bad situation or fell down from something and is stuck or hurt or something.” The thought made Jisung’s eyes water but he quickly wiped them away. The lady finally showed some emotion, giving him a sympathetic look.
“Sure honey. Could you give me a description of him, and do you know what he was wearing?”
After Jisung gave her an as detailed description as he could from the top of his hewd, he left her his phone number in case something came up. If his father hadn’t returned by monday, he would have to call again and they would put him up as a missing person. Jisung gritted his teeth as he was thinking. The first 24 hours are the most important, he couldn’t wait till monday for his dad to show up on his own accord.
He decided to drive to the hospital just in case, to see if his dad maybe had gotten into a fight and got hurt. He didn’t expect it, but who knows. Some people in bars and clubs are wild. Before he exits the car, he tries to dial his father’s phone one more time. He hadn’t picked up whilst Jisung drove to the police station, this time being no different. The call went straight to voice mail, meaning it had either been turned of or died. He sighed anxiously and got out of the car, making his way to the entrance.
‘Okay, Jisung. You’re just gonna go in. Ask the lady… or man… or… whomever if Han Iseok has possibly come in. If not, apologize and thank them and go home. Easy peasy. You got this. No stress.’
He made his way up to the counter, a man sitting behind it. He seemed to be in his late twenties and somehow it seemed reassured the boy, thinking the man wouldn’t be as quick to judge in the case that he stuttured. Upon Jisung walking up the male looked up and gave him a small smile, one suited for a hospital setting.
“Hello, how can I help you?”
“H-Hello. I am looking for my father, he hasn’t arrived home since yesterday. He u-usually tends to go to bars and have a drink on Friday. He hasn’t answered my calls and I know this is a long shot but the police won’t look for him, but has anyone named Han Iseok been brought in yesterday? I know this is crazy but I had to give it a try, I’m sorry to bother you.” He said, fidgeting with his hands as he looked the male in the eyes. The man seemed a little stunned, probably not having heard such an explanation before in his time of working at the counter seeing this was a hospital and not a police station. Well, at least he had an interesting story to tell when he got home after his shift.
“I will look through the computer, give me a moment please.” Jisung nodded, swaying from one foot to another. He was extremely nervous having to ask all of this. Feeling like his request must make him seem crazy. The man typed and clicked, until he looked back at the other.
“Actually, someone named Han Iseok has come in during the early hours of the morning, but he has already been discharged. It was about two hours ago, so maybe he might be home by now. Could you give me your father’s date of birth so I can confirm it was him?” The man said.
“Y-Yes, it’s October 17th 1968.” The man smiled, nodding. “Yes, that is indeed the Han Iseok we had here last night. As I said, he was discharged around two hours ago. I suggest you check your home again.”
“Thank you so much! I’m sorry for the trouble!”
“Not at all, have a good day kid.”
Jisung bowed and quickly left the hospital, hating being there. It reminded him of his mother and how sick she had been. It was not a good place to be for him, but he appreciated the kindness of the man a lot. His hatred for hopsitals had gone down by a solid 3%. He got into his car and quickly opened whatsapp to text Changbin, when he noticed Minho had sent him a message. He decided he’d look at it when he had come home, not wanting himself to not react because he wasn’t in the right mood. The elder usually send Jisung funny cat videos and whilst Jisung loves those a lot, he feels like he would not be able to respond normally which would only allow the older to catch onto the fact that something was wrong.
‘Hey Binnie. My dad was at the hospital last night. Idk for what pfff, he isnt there tho anymore so I’m going to check my house again, maybe the neighbours again as well. Just wanted to let you know… also, I hope nan is okay, sorry I didnt ask about her earlier. Send her love and kisses from me ;-; x’
He put his phone in his pocket and drove off. It buzzed shortly after, but he knew better than to text and drive. Changbin could wait ten more minutes for a response if it ment that he would actually make it home in ten minutes. He got home shortly after and parked the car before getting out and locking it. His hands shook as he made his way to the door, unlocking it for the second time that day. He immediately heard music play from the living room, a wave of relief washing over him. His legs would’ve given out if it hadn’t been for the fact that he desperately needed to see his father. He hurriedly ran towards the living room, finding his dad seated on the couch.
“O-Oh, hey Jisung.” He mumbled, happy but seeming slightly different. Jisung’s eyes started watering as he ran to his dad before throwing himself onto him, breaking out in tears. His dad wrapped his arms around his son carefully, confused why the younger was crying.
“W-what’s wrong?” He asked, hearing his son sob even more as a response.
“I t-though you-you’d died! I thought you would be dead! Y-you… s-s-scared me! I thought I was left alone forever!”
His father’s eyes widened as his grip tightened around his son’s back before breaking out into tears as well. He had received antibiotics from the nurses, them telling him he couldn’t drink for the rest of the day or he might get a heart attack or something… Truthfully, he couldn’t remember what would happen exactly as his mind was all fuzzy but he was old enought to understand it would be something bad. He hadn’t touched a bottle since 2 a.m the night before and he was as sober as he had been in the last 8 or so years. His head hurt, but seeing his son so upset because of him whilst he was sober had hit him somewhere deep. He realised how much his son had to have gone through because of him, how scared Jisung must have been to lose him. After all, no matter how much of a deadbeat he is to his son, he is still Jisung’s father. His only remaining parent.
“S-Son. I-I’m sorry. Jisung… I’m so-so sorry!” He cried loudly, grabbing Jisung head and pushing it to his shoulder, resting his head against Jisung’s. “I was at the h-hospital. They know about m-my drinking. I will be going to a pr-program. I’ll get better, for you… for Naeun!” He said as he remembered his late wife, realising how dissapointed she must have been whilst watching from above. Jisung sobbed even louder, almost not believing what he was hearing. His dad was finally going to try and get better… from his own decision as well.
He pulled away from his father’s embrace, wiping away the tears that were running down his cheeks. He looked at his father before speaking up. “It’s n-not going to be easy… You need to do it. I know you can. You weren’t a-always like this. I believe you can do it, dad.”
“I will do my best. For you. I need to act like a father, not a baby you need to take care off. I will take care of you, Jisung, I promise. I love you, thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Where else would I have gone?” Jisung said, smiling sadly. “I love you too.” Jisung stood up and walked to the kitchen, opening one of the cupboards. His father gulped as he realised what was in there.
“W-What are you doing?”
“You know what I’m doing.” Jisung said, grabbing the tray of soju bottles as well as 2 larger bottles of wine. “I’m going to give this wine to our neighbours. The soju is going down the drain. No more alcohol, dad.” He knew this wasn’t the right way to do it, but now that his dad has had his epiphany, he couldn’t allow any more alcohol to be in the house until his father left for the ‘program’.
“B-But it’s a waste to throw it out! You worked for it!” The boy sighed deeply, realising it was going to be a difficult journey. “If you’re so bothered about me throwing it out, then I’m taking it out right now to give to a friend.” His father looked frightened for a moment before he sighed reluctantly. “You’re right. I’m sorry Ji. Get r-rid of it. For the program… I’m not going to be home for the next six weeks starting monday. They had a free space in the program. I had to pay a little up front and the rest would be handled by our insurance.”
“How much up front?”
“Around $2400.” His father responded. Jisung instantly felt himself go pale, knees becoming weak for the second time in ten minutes. Last time he checked, he only had around $2800 in the bank. He still had to pay the rent which was $650 for the month and he didn’t get paid until the first week of the next month. He had 8 days to get at least $250 from somewhere.
“O-Okay. Dad. There is enough food in the fridge. Give me your cards, right now.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t have you spending any more money,” His dad looked sad, Jisung quickly adding “I’m proud you are going to fix yourself! But we just can’t afford spending more right now. I need to be able to pay rent this month.” His father nodded. “I understand what you ment. Here.” His dad grabbed his wallet, taking out all the creditcards before handing them to his son. Jisung only knew of the existence of 1 bank account, confused why his father had two cards.
“The other one was your mothers’. I never dared to look at it so I just kept renewing it each year. I don’t know how much money is on there… I was scared if I knew, I would waste it all.” Jisung nodded, putting them in his pocket.
“I’m going to my room now. You should go to sleep, dad. It’s better to be asleep than to be awake and want anything. Maybe eat something too? It’s past dinner time anyways.”
“How about we eat together?” His father asked, slightly hopeful to spend a little more time with his son, now that he was somewhat sober. Jisung shook his head though, declining the offer. “I’m not hungry, plus I need to get rid of this alcohol real quick.” He said and started poaring the soju down the drain. His father nodded and made his way into the kitchen, opening the fridge to decide what he would eat.
After Jisung had poared all the Soju and given the wine to his neighbors who were very thankful of the gift, he made his way to his room. He locked the door just in case, needing some time alone. He dropped himself down on his bed, calling the police to let them know his father had returned home. It didn’t really sound like they cared all that much but Jisung felt that it wouldn’t complicate things as much.
He quickly took of his clothes and changed into a shirt before getting back into his bed, under the covers. He decided it was time to check his texts, seeing he hadn’t had the time yet to do so.
Changbinnie
Hey Sungie. Gran is doing as well as she could in her scenario, I’m sure your kisses will make her feel better! I hope you found or have heard from your dad yet, I’m worried too :[ Take care of yourself and if you need me, call <3
Jisung
Im glad she is okay! And yeah my dad is home. He is going to a program starting monday to help get rid of his alcoholism… kinda sceptical on how well it’s gonna go lol. It’s gonna be 6 weeks of being alone… feel free to come over anytime ㅇㅈㅇ
Im going to bed now, but I just wanted to send you the update. Im also doing alright, ill talk to you later <333
Jisung then clicked on Minho’s message, finally having time to read it.
Minho hyung :]Â Yesterday 22:08 pm
‘Funny how you crept up on me whilst watching the movie tbh. Didn’t want to call you out and embarrass you in front of everyone. It was real cute though’
Jisung didn’t think much of it for a second until he saw when it was send. The night before. His heartrate sped up, thoughts popping into his head.
‘That was when we played truth or dare? Am I his crush? No, that can’t be. But then why wouldn’t he just say this out loud to me? He also wasn’t on his phone at any other time… ohmygod. Am I his crush????? What do I respond? Play it cool? Cut straight to the point? Confess my dying lo— wait what? Ohmygod Jisung you’re insane!’ He took a deep breath before deciding to finally type out something in response.
Jisung
Hey hyungie, sorry it took so long to respond
🙁 stuff came up~ also it wasn’t funny at all >:| thanks for not embarrassing me though, and im definitely NOT cute. Also…. want to hang out tomorrow? ‘
He decided if Minho said yes to hanging out, he would kiss him or confess to him the following day. Because whilst he might be an oblivious dummy most of the time, he for sure saw the connection that could be seen. He connected the dots, so to speak. He figured if Minho took the first step —even if it was forced, Jisung should be the next one to be brave. Not even two minutes later, he got a response from the older.
Minho hyung :]
It’s okay don’t worry ^^ and I don’t think you can call yourself ‘not cute’ when you couldn’t see yourself. Anyways, I can’t hangout tomorrow, sorry 🙁 I’ll just see you on monday, okay? Feel free to text me tomorrow though ~~ O3O
Well, so much for that plan.
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4.2k words… this is the longest chapter I’ve ever written 💀
Also, the chapter is called ‘Follow’ because Jisung was trying to find his dad… follow; find you…. any monbebes??? Gosh I’m so multifandom yet I only talk about SKZ…
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