Jin: Your sorry doesn’t mean anything to me Mr. Jeon. My heart has experience worst. Your cries and pleading won’t be able to soften this harden heart. The damage has done and it’s beyond repair. The Jin, you asking a chance for, is dead years ago. You want to know what happened to your Jin and his son when you throw us out like a garbage. You want to know how your Jin turn into this Jin, who is now standing on the verge of death along with his son.
(Jin asked Jungkook. He wanted to tell him the suffering he cause to him and his son. He wanted Jungkook to see how Jungkook will react when he know his deepest secret. Jin wanted to see Jungkook at its breaking point, like how he was four years ago. He stare at the figure in front of him.)
Jungkook: No
(Did Jin hear it right? Did he just say ‘no’? No, the Jungkook he once loved was not coward like this. The person in front of him, was coward. Defeated. HE decided to ask again, There is no way Jungkook has said No, he must have heard wrong. The Jungkook he once loved was everything but coward.)
Jin: what did you say?
(Jin’s ear perked wanting to hear yes from Jungkook. But what Jungkook said next make him prove wrong.)
Jungkook: I don’t think I am ready to face it.
(Jungkook said in low voice, not meeting Jin’s eyes. Jin got angry. He abruptly stand up beside bed and pushed Jungkook with all his might, which result Jungkook to fall on bed. Jin was angry, his emotions getting best of him. He grabbed Jungkook’s collar, forcing Jungkook to look at him.)
Jin: Did I hear it right? You are not ready to face it? WAS I READY FACE ALL THAT MR. JEON? WAS I READY TO SEE DIVORCE PAPER THE MOMENT I OPEN MY EYES AFTER DELIVERY? WAS I READY WHEN YOU GUYS THROUGH ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE WITHOUT ANY MONEY OR CLOTHS? WAS I READY TO FACE ALL THAT SUFFERING?
Jungkook: I am sorry please. I am really really sorry please. I regret everything.
(Jungkook pleaded. Jin release Jungkook from his hold. It was too much for him. He sat there leaning his back on nearby wall, looking at Jungkook with broken gaze. He wanted to let everything out. They both were crying silently looking at each other. One with regret while another due to misery.)
Jin: y-you………….you throw me out there Jungkook. No money, no food, not even a p-place to stay. P-peo——— people were beating me, chasing me, calling me names seeing this face. H-Hwanie kept crying, b-but————– but I had no money to buy something for him. H-he was shivering due to cold, but there was nothing else to warm him other than my embrace.———– Me and my s-son lived on street for days Jungkook. For days. With no food, no warm cloths, nothing.——— Whoever I tried to ask for work, will shove me away out of the s-store, l-like a dirt. ———-t-tell me was I ready to face all that?
(Jin looked at Jungkook, who was listening to him while crying silently. Jin got hold of himself. The person in front of him doesn’t deserve him and Hwanie. He wiped his tears with his long sleeves and stood proudly in front of Jungkook. HE had enough. He had enough of this drama of Jungkook.)
Jin: Oh, cat got your tongue now. Your sorries are too hollow for me Mr. Jeon. Let’s just stay the way you wanted four years ago. Help my son and get out of our lives.
(With that Jin started to walk out of the room.)
Jungkook: NOOOOO. No please. I can’t. Don’t do this to me. I will do anything but please don’t shut me out of your life plea- ——- wait. What do you mean by verge of death? What does that mean? You are okay. Right? You should be. You have to. Not for me but for Hwanie.
(Jin stopped and looked back at Jungkook with cold expression.)
Jin: Didn’t you said you are not ready to face it. You are coward Jungkook. The biggest of all.
(With that Jin went out to look for Hwanie, as it’s time for his medicine. Jungkook sat there crying because of his stupidness, his agony. Why? Why it has to be like this? Why? He asked himself the same question multiple times though he knew the answer. It’s all because of him. Only because of him.)
Jin closed the bedtime story book. He looked at his son beside him, sleeping soundly. It was their daily routine. Hwanie likes to hear story before sleeping. Before he don’t have to do that cause back in their apartment Hwanie prefer Roni instead of Jin, to read the story for him.The reason was “His appa don’t know how read the story in cool way.” Jin pecked the forehead of his son, admiring his sleeping form.
Jin: Good night baby.
With that Jin slowly came out of bed, not wanting to disturb his son. He covered Hwanie with blanket and went to the balcony. While closing the balcony door, Jin glance at the room once again. This was the room he and Jungkook decorated before his delivery. He couldn’t help but smile as Jungkook decorated the room just like they decorated years ago. The exact same. His mind wonder around in past. What would be his life this time if all that doesn’t happen? Will Hwanie be at good health? Will he didn’t have to count days like he do now? Will he be with Jungkook hugging and kissing, Hwanie playing with Yoongi and others? Stop. Jin stopped himself thinking like this. He shouldn’t think like this. Those people mean nothing to him now.
Jin felt his phone vibrate in his hand. He looked at the caller. Roni. He realize that he forgot to call Roni back. HE must be worried. He hurriedly picked up the phone. He settled himself on the sofa placed in the balcony, leaning his head to look up to the sky.
Jin: Hello
Roni: I was waiting for your call. Is Hwanie asleep? Did you read him story? I bet he whined multiple times as you suck at reading the story for him.
(A warm feeling consume Jin hearing the voice. The voice of his now people. His now loved ones.)
Jin: Yes. He was really tired today. Fell asleep as soon as I laid him on bed. And Yes, he whined multiple times and said he will call you to read him story from tomorrow on.
Roni: I knew this would happen. Wahh I already miss you guys so much.
Roni: we miss you guys already. Its first time you guys are away from us.
Jin: We miss you too. Hwanie wanted to talk to Jennie. (Chuckle) He wanted to make her jealous by showing his new BTS album.
Roni: He is getting really naughty day by day. (Chuckle) Jennie was bugging me to call you whole day but now she fell asleep when you call. Let Hwanie call us tomorrow early morning, I really want to talk to him.
Jin: hmm.
(There was a pause for a moment. Jin wanted to tell Roni everything but he also didn’t want to worry the other more. He has already done too much for Jin and his son. Jin couldn’t bring himself to burden him more.)
Roni: So how all things gone. You meet Yoongi?
Jin: No. I didn’t see him. I don’t want to see him either.——————-
(Jin paused. A tear rolled over his rosy cheeks. Now that he was talking to Roni, those emotions that he had bottled up since morning came out now. Resulting him to cry silently.)
Jin: This place is suffocating me Roni. Its pains me to come here again.
Roni: I know. But you have to bear with it Jinnie. For Hwanie.
(Roni said, he let Jin cry. After a few minutes Jin’s cries subside down.)
Roni: So did you talk to Lee management about your job?
Jin: Yeah. It’s cleaning job and it pays well. But I won’t work for now. Hwanie needs me most now. After Hwanie get better I will look again for work again.
Roni: Hmm. ———————- Everything will be okay Jinnie.
Jin: THEY called today. THEY wanted to meet Hwanie this week.
Roni: Did THEY know about Jungkook?
Jin: Yes. I told them. And assured them Jungkook will not come in our way.
Roni: Are you sure about this Jin. Please think it again Jin. It’s big. It will affect Hwanie’s whole life.
(Roni again tell Jin to think Jin’s decision. Actually, Roni was not agree with this decision of Jin’s. They had big fight due to it in past. But later Roni decided to be beside Jin. He will support Jin, though he won’t like the choices Jin was making.)
Jin: My decision is final Roni. There is no turning back now. Hwanie don’t need a father who abundant him and called him names without seeing his face. He made him more miserable than born as an orphan.
Jin’s decision was final. There is no going back now. They talk for some time and Jin went to bed, sleeping beside Hwanie, who soon snuggled up in his chest. He had big day ahead.Â
—————————————————————————————————
Comment