AUTHOR’S NOTE:
I am gonna write the wedding in the Bengali style. I don’t know anything about the wedding in the Mumbai style. My sister was married this year in January. So, I remember the rituals to some extent. Let’s visit a marriage. Woohoo.
ASHWIN:
I woke up to my cousin brother, Arthit throwing tantrums at me. A look at my alarm clock confirmed that it was freaking 4 in the morning. I barked at him, “Why in the fucking hell are you waking me up at 4 in the morning?” He snickered, “Well I guess a certain someone is getting married today and he has to be ready for dadhimangal. Now get your ass off the bed if you don’t want aunty to throw a fit.”
Begrudgingly I got up from the bed, promising myself to return the favor when Arthit himself would be getting married. Finishing my morning chores, I spotted a neat punjabi lying on my bed and my dearest cousin was nowhere to be seen. I dressed up and climbed downstairs from my bedroom at the second floor.
My mother, who was standing at the base of the stairs, smiled at me and said, “Come on. Hurry up. A lot of rituals need to be done.” My body went on autopilot as I was forced to do all those bloody rituals for marrying a girl to expand our company. Now my dreams of being a painter is officially lying in shreds.
I was force fed yoghurt and some rice product, I don’t know the name of, then they did a whole fuss over some weird rituals and at last there came the ritual of haldi.
I was covered from head to toe in turmeric paste. Just imagine how gross it was. Yuck!!!
At last, evening came. To say I was exhausted would be the greatest understatement in the world. Arthit forced me to my room and made me dress up. As he was tucking the pleats of my dhoti, I asked him, “We both were raised in the USA. How the fuck did you learn to tuck a friggin dhoti? And by the way, I suddenly remembered, are you still going out with that secret girlfriend of yours?”
Arthit’s playful expression darkened as I mentioned his relationship. He shrugged, “You know that there exists a thing called YouTube, right? And for the second question, my partner broke it off.” He looked dejected but helped me get dressed nonetheless. I pondered over why he said his ‘partner’ and not ‘girlfriend’. Is my dear cousin gay? I mentally face-palmed as I chastised myself that he won’t be gay, not that I mind though.
A small pat on my cheek broke me out of my little bubble of thoughts. Arthit had finished styling my hair. “You made me look like a Bollywood model man! You’re so awesome!” He chuckled, “I know right that I am fucking awesome. And we can’t have bhabhi looking at you for the first time when you are not at your best.” He had this dumb smirk on his face as he teased me. He knew it fucking well that I never wanted to marry an Indian girl. Well, business is before me to my family I think.
Suddenly my mom hollered into the room startling both of us. “Let’s go. The barat is ready. You can’t miss the muhrat. Come on boys”, mom scolded. “Well, yay! Let’s get married”, I sarcastically mumbled.
Word Meanings:
DADHIMANGAL: It is a ritual done early in the morning on the day of marriage in which the bride and groom are fed yogurt and khoi. Khoi is made from paddy. The couple are forbidden from eating the whole day. So, they eat that yucky mixture. (I feel like vomiting while giving the pic.🤢)
PUNJABI and DHOTI: It is a kind of dress for men. It is worn with dhoti. It is a pure bengali attire.Â
HALDI: A ritual on the marriage day in which the bride and the groom get turmeric paste applied on them to bring out their natural glamour.
BHABHI: Sister-in-law is called bhabhi informally. If a person says “bhabhi ji” then it is formal. “ji” added to the end of any noun makes it formal.
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