THE DUCHESS LOOKED AT THE PLATE I WAS HOLDING, her expression wordlessly asking me why I was here. I sympathized with her, but I couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable at the same time.
It’s true that she doesn’t like me and there are a lot of reasons for that.
But apart from that, I wanted to be respectful.
“I’m going to the southern villa for a while. So I wanted to deliver the cookies myself today.”
The Duchess looked a little surprised at what I said.
“Did the Duke say that?”
“Yes…”
I don’t want to go. I really don’t want to leave my bias. As though my emotions were written plainly on my face, the Duchess asked me.
“You don’t want to go?”
“Yes.”
Huh? Come to think of it, you sound much warmer, don’t you? Did you like the cookies?
I snuck a glance, and I made eye contact with her. Unlike before, the way she looked at me seemed a little milder. Or maybe I’m mistaken?
Somehow I felt like there was something twisting inside me. But it was not a bad feeling.
“But the Duke must have a reason to send you there.”
The Duchess muttered and picked up a cookie. At times like this, I didn’t know whether I should hate the Duke or not.
I had to drop by to meet Lucian as well, so I got right to the point.
“Your Grace, can I send you letters?”
“……”
The Duchess did not immediately answer my question. In the middle of the uncomfortable silence, I wriggled my feet.
Lucian really looks like his mother. She also didn’t answer right away. She had to think about it first it seems.
It was not until a little later that the Duchess gave an answer.
“…Go ahead.”
I opened my eyes wide with her unexpected affirmation. Then, her lips curled up slightly into a small smile. Somehow I had a good hunch about our letters.
“Thank you so much, By the way…”
“…… “
As I continued, the Duchess gazed at me.
“I’m worried that Brother won’t eat well.”
Lucian didn’t eat a lot. I wonder what food it was that made him grow taller.
That’s why I wanted to ask the Duchess this favor before I left. I also hoped that the relationship between the two would get better over time.
Because I want my bias to be happy.
The Duchess’ eyes trembled at my words. I know. She must be scared. I’m sure she’s realized that she’s been neglecting her own son.
That’s probably why the pain in her heart got gradually worse. I knew better than anyone else how shame and self-accusation could eat away at you.
In the past, I was like that too.
It may be difficult, but please be brave. No one else can be your salvation.
The only person that can really save you is yourself.
The Duchess did not answer. No, it was right not to say anything. I greeted her quietly before leaving, contemplating.
When I return to the Duchy after a few months, it would be nice to see the two of them smiling together.
I rushed out of the Duchess’ room and ran straight to Lucian’s room. There’s no time. Even if Amber takes a long time to pack my stuff, I don’t have enough time.
I need to see my favorite for just a little longer! Every minute I’m not with him will go to waste!
I hurried to his room, but I couldn’t see him. I don’t know why, but there was a knight blocking my way.
“Excuse me.”
“Yes, Young Master.”
The knight answered in a polite manner.
“I want to see my brother…”
“I’m sorry, but this was an order given by the Duke.”
“What did the Duke say?”
“He said the Young Master shall be grounded for a week.”
“…Do you know why?”
“I apologize.”
The knight answered only what was needed of him. This wasn’t something I didn’t expect, but because of the stress I felt, my stomach twisted into knots.
Ahhh, Duke! Lucian is unrelated to this! Argh!
Lucian was a person who compulsively couldn’t stray from his schedule. But you’re locking him up in his room!
I begged and got angry at the knight because I wanted to see Lucian, but it was to no avail.
Perhaps the Duke predicted that I would come, that’s why the knight was here to reject me firmly.
I trudged back to my room in frustration. The cookies I packed for him were still in my hand.
“You’re back, Young master.” Amber, who had to pack everything so suddenly, looked very busy.
“Young master, what’s this? Do you want me to pack these away, too?”
Amber brought out a small box and asked for instructions. I was surprised to see an item that I completely forgot about. It was the letter opener I was going to give Lucian.
“That’s….”
I had been sitting on the sofa discouraged just now, but I jumped up instead.
“Give it to me.”
“Yes.”
With the cookies in one hand and the box in the other, I headed back to Lucian’s room. The knight was agitated because I came back. But I didn’t mean to pressure him.
“Just give this to him.”
“…….”
“You weren’t ordered not to deliver goods to him right?”
“…Yes.”
“Give it to him now.”
“…Alright.”
The knight knocked on the door with my gifts after confirming that there weren’t any instructions for him not to pass along any gifts. There was no answer, but the knight went into the room anyway.
After a while, the knight came out. I moved my head to see inside the closing door. Lucian was seen through the small gap.
Standing in front of the door looking at the gift and cookies, he slowly raised his head.
His eyes were shaking violently as his gaze met mine in just the blink of an eye. It was like a hungry wave, as though that feeling was going to rush over me.
Ka-chak.
Unfortunately, the door closed quickly. But I couldn’t understand why he didn’t leave his room.
After standing there for a while as if I was under a spell, Amber came rushing down the hall in search of me.
The Duke was already waiting outside the mansion.
“My son.”
“…Yes.”
“I’ll go there often to keep you company.”
“Okay…”
I really don’t want to go! I don’t want to go! I can’t believe I won’t be able to see my bias for months!
At the bottom of my heart, I wanted to lie down here and go on a tantrum.
Regardless of whether I was an aristocrat or an adult inside, I just wanted to kick up a fuss and protest.
“The Knight Commander will protect you until you arrive at the villa. I’d love to take you there myself, but…”
Yeah, I know. You’re trying to catch the kidnapper. And you can’t leave the capital recklessly.
I’m not sure whether the Duke really doesn’t want to send me, but he really doesn’t look that good right now.
No, why would you let me go if this wasn’t the case? Home is the best! Isn’t home supposed to be the safest place?
I puffed up my cheeks in indignation, but I still gently climbed into the carriage. Then Amber brought out Doggy.
Doggy was in my arms and purred as though to cheer me up.
You’re a fox, not a cat.
I poked Doggy cheek for no reason, then looked out of the wagon window at the Duchy.
“Do let me know if anything bothers you, Raphael.”
“Yes, I will.”
“Okay then.”
With my voice full of hesitation, I uttered words full of melancholy.
“Father, take care of Brother. Please.”
When I said that, it backfired again and again.
But I didn’t want Lucian to be alone while I was away. I didn’t want to leave him alone, now that he can finally laugh.
I couldn’t easily forget the look in his eyes earlier either.
The Duke did not answer my request. Instead, he just smiled bitterly.
After boarding with Amber, the carriage slowly began to move. After I checked that Damian was hovering around over the carriage, I leaned back against my seat.
As I looked at the Duchy as we parted ways for the time being, I was deep in thought.
Once the booger king gets caught, I will pour the spiciest sauce in his eyes the next time I see him.
Oh, please make the time fly quickly.
I don’t want to miss any move my bias makes!
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───
LUCIAN CAME OUT TO THE BALCONY and watched Raphael climb onto the carriage. His hands were still on the warm cookies and gift he had given.
“You promised not to forget me. You must keep it.”
Lucian murmured solemnly as he looked at the departing carriage. He stood motionlessly on the balcony until the carriage became a small speck and disappeared off the horizon.
The sun started to tilt and dyed his face red. His face, which was as pale as a doll’s rather than a human being’s, conveyed a sense of longing even if he had no expression on his face at all.
Returning into his room, Lucian put the present in his hand on the table.
He smiled when he saw the dainty packaging that resembled Raphael.
He then slowly unwrapped it, and saw the monotonous design of the letter opener and it made his eyes grow wide.
It was a simple design with brilliant emeralds embedded in the dark colored body, but he immediately noticed it.
It’s a combination of his dark hair and Raphael’s beautiful hair color.
Lucian took the letter opener out of the box and held it in his hand. The sensation of cold metal and warm wood mixed, making it like it was made from conflicting materials.
Like a cold man and his always warm brother.
Just like two people who usually wouldn’t get along that happened to meet and stayed together.
He blinked slowly, looking at the letter opener and nut cookies.
“I’ll strive to work harder for you, too.”
He thought that he should be recognized by his father as soon as possible, and then he’ll be a Duke.
Then he doesn’t have to be checked over or disturbed by his father. He could easily make time for Raphael that way.
When he opens his eyes in the morning, he imagines himself as if he will be able to see his younger brother’s face right away, have breakfast with him, enjoy tea time, and sleep together in the same space at night.
He wants to get to know his every move while including Raphael in all his scheduled activities.
From head to toe.
From Raphael’s favorite food up to his height.
Every single part.
He wants to know every single part about Raphael.
Quickly, his increasing thirst for anything concerning Raphael filled him up like a cup underneath a faucet.
—You want to be with him, your younger brother.
Enzo whispered in Lucian’s mind because he was tired of that train of thought, his words were filled with nuances, while Lucian was sitting quietly and riling himself up like a burning fire.
—That’s a terrible idea. Why do I keep hearing these thoughts?
Lucian thought he shouldn’t let the ringing voice in his head interfere with his mind anymore. Thus, Lucian thought only of Raphael.
“…I miss you already, Ray.”
7 years. For a few short moments, or even for a long time, he was ready to wait.
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