Shang Can didn’t know when she had released her hold on Yunduan. Hesitating, she lightly patted her shoulder to comfort her but remained silent for a long time.
She knew very well that even if Yunduan had come to the Yellow Springs to find her early on, she would have done everything possible to avoid seeing her, only resulting in more worries for Yunduan.
After all, during those days when she wore the mask of being a “Cang,” Shang Can had lived by such principles.
But saying this now would be overly insensitive. Shang Can closed her eyes, shifting the topic. “So when we encountered the ghost tribe earlier, you immediately thought of asking Pei Chen for help?”
“Mm,” Yunduan replied, “…but I didn’t expect that his master would have a grudge against you, almost causing a major mishap.”
“What major mishap? This is all just my karma.”
Noticing that Yunduan still seemed shaken, Shang Can softened her tone and returned to the topic, smiling, “No wonder I felt you seemed so familiar when you went to find Pei Chen; I was puzzled about it for a while.”
“…”
Yunduan, who had originally been resting quietly on her shoulder, suddenly lifted her head and asked softly, “Puzzled?”
Shang Can was taken aback and stumbled over her words, “I was just thinking about those… rumors circulating in Yanyang City… they’re not entirely baseless…”
As she spoke, she felt increasingly unconvincing, her voice growing quieter as she heard Yunduan respondæ·¡æ·¡, “There are many rumors in Yanyang City; which ones have you heard, A-Cang?”
…Not understanding why Yunduan suddenly pressed her for details, Shang Can felt inexplicably guilty. She stammered, “…I didn’t hear much; I’m not really interested in that sort of thing. If I had to say, I’ve heard even more rumors about Lord Yunduan and the Cang.”
Her attempt to lighten the mood fell flat, and as the silence stretched, Shang Can felt increasingly anxious. Not being able to see Yunduan’s expression was really affecting her judgment, so she hurried to add, “Of course, I know that’s all nonsense. I won’t listen to those things anymore.”
While she was still babbling about how she only speculated out of fear of asking Yunduan and how she wouldn’t do so again, Yunduan sighed softly and extricated herself from Shang Can’s embrace, taking her hand to lead her to sit at the table.
“I have no special feelings for Lord Kunyao,” Yunduan said earnestly as they settled down. “He allowed me to enter the Ghost Realm, and I am grateful to him. But at that time, he also needed a strong ally to stabilize the Ghost Realm, so it was a mutual benefit.”
Shang Can nodded in agreement. She was well aware of this; after all, apart from her mysterious collaboration with Pei Chen, Yunduan had never shown any attitude towards him that was different from that of anyone else. Even if they had had such feelings for each other, they should have become a couple back when they were studying abroad and wouldn’t have to wait until now.
However, hearing Yunduan explain this so seriously made Shang Can feel that saying this now seemed somewhat like a case of hindsight, so she simply admitted her fault. “It’s my fault; I shouldn’t have listened to those rumors.”
…Now that she thought about it, her dislike for Pei Chen had started from when he had failed to become a Dao partner with Yunduan. Wasn’t she being a bit too petty about it?
As these thoughts flickered through her mind, Shang Can suddenly heard Yunduan’s indifferent voice respond, “Speaking of rumors, I’ve also heard that there were whispers of the Cang having an affair with the demon lord of the Yellow Springs.”
Shang Can’s hand trembled, and she looked up in horror, incredulously exclaiming, “Where did this rumor come from? That’s downright slander! I and Wanshao…”
She found it hard to suppress her laughter and wanted to explain her innocence when she heard Yunduan softly continue.
“I first heard this rumor a few years ago, saying that the demon lord was collecting various herbs for the Cang,” Yunduan’s voice carried a hint of melancholy. “At that time, I told others I had never met the Cang, and they all said that the Cang was afraid of Lord Yunduan’s reputation, hence avoiding her whenever coming out of the Yellow Springs.”
“Now that I think about it, if I had just ignored it back then…” She fell silent for a moment and murmured, “Were you… consciously avoiding me at that time?”
“…” The atmosphere suddenly became serious, and Shang Can didn’t argue further, nodding, “Yes.”
“…Why?”
There was unease in Yunduan’s words. Shang Can recalled that she couldn’t remember what had happened on that critical day. She sighed inwardly, thinking she couldn’t say that she felt too ashamed to face Yunduan because she had accidentally killed her once, so she pondered for a while and replied, “Because… I had heard you had forgotten, and I thought that was fine. Everyone believed that Shang Can had died, so I could pretend that I had lived my life in peace.”
“After all, I was already the Cang of the Yellow Springs then,” Shang Can smiled down at her feet. “Even if I jumped out to say I wasn’t dead, I’m sure the Qingyu Sect, which holds such high importance on etiquette, would find a way to clear me out.”
Yunduan was silent for a while. Since Shang Can couldn’t see her expression, she could only hear her voice when she spoke again, slightly hoarse. “What happened the day you left… does it relate to me?”
Shang Can thought that it was indeed quite relevant. She shrugged lazily and said, “Simply put, I didn’t know when I had gone mad and couldn’t control my powers, which caused the heavenly fire to erupt uncontrollably. Qin Yi and Nan Shuang also became enemies with me in that fire.”
After thinking for a moment, she continued, “You were also injured at that time, but fortunately, Qingyu’s rescue came very quickly.”
“I was a complete mess and knew I couldn’t return to Qingyu, so I ran away.” Shang Can’s tone was flat, even laughing slightly. “And then I was rescued by Wanshao—I should be grateful to her.”
Once she finished speaking, the room fell into silence. The silence was becoming unbearable for Shang Can, who couldn’t see Yunduan’s expression, so she deliberately spoke in a bright tone. “That’s pretty much it; really, it’s quite simple. Do you have anything else you want to ask?”
After patiently waiting for a moment, she finally heard Yunduan’s slightly trembling voice, “…A-Cang, have you thought of me over the years?”
“…”
Completely unprepared for such a question, Shang Can was taken aback and hadn’t had time to react when Yunduan immediately followed up with another question.
“Have you been well in the Yellow Springs? How is your health? Do you still experience any symptoms of losing control over your powers?”
One question after another overwhelmed Shang Can, who found it difficult to cope. Wanting to comfort Yunduan, who seemed to be lost in her emotions, she suddenly felt a coolness on her face as soft, cool fingers gently brushed against her cheek.
“Back in the forest where we first met Qin Yi, you had a recurrence of an old ailment; was that related to losing control?” Yunduan’s delicate fingers seemed to barely touch her side face, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and finally landing carefully on the white cloth covering Shang Can’s closed eyes. “…And your eyes, how long will it take for them to heal?”
“Why did you lose control? If we haven’t investigated it yet, we can look into it together; perhaps we can find a way to recover.”
Yunduan softly caressed the white cloth covering Shang Can’s eyes, and Shang Can could almost feel her warmth penetrating through the fabric, gently brushing against her tightly closed eyes.
“…What I said earlier was not right; I still have things to hide from you.”
Her voice was low, making it hard to discern her emotions, as she softly continued, “I have missed you very much all these years.”
“You don’t have to investigate the issue of losing control; you can choose to return to Biluohuangquan, or you can travel wherever you like.” Yun Duan’s voice was ethereal, as if she were somewhat lost in thought. “… Just let me accompany you, okay?”
“…”
Shang Can fell silent for a moment, suddenly reaching out to grasp the hand that had brushed her cheek, letting out a gentle sigh.
“I can’t go anywhere after all; I still can’t see at all.”
The fingers she held trembled slightly. Shang Can soothingly glided her fingers over them, teasingly saying, “Without Yun Zhongjun, I’m nothing but a useless person; it’s a shame you’re the one saying this—I shouldn’t be left behind by Yun Zhongjun.”
Her words clearly disturbed Yun Duan’s emotions. The person in front leaned forward, hesitating yet resolute, replying, “Of course not; I will be your eyes, A Can.”
Such a simple statement made Shang Can’s ears heat up, a hint of ambiguity lingering in the air. She instinctively laughed and said, “That sounds like a love confession.”
The unthoughtful words caused the atmosphere in the room to become even stranger. Shang Can inwardly lamented her slip of the tongue, but her face remained composed as she naturally let go of Yun Duan’s hand.
“Isn’t it getting late?”
She gestured toward what seemed to be a window, pretending to stand up.
“Let’s sleep.” Shang Can said softly, her words seemingly hinting at something deeper, “Until my eyes are better, you can rest easy, Yun Zhongjun.”
In the dead of night.
Shang Can lay flat in bed, perfectly still. Anyone entering the room would assume she was sound asleep, but in reality, she was wide awake, lost in thought.
How strange, Shang Can pondered. Is the bed in this inn really this narrow?
So narrow that when both she and Yun Duan lay down side by side, it felt like their shoulders were practically touching. Shang Can could only inwardly grumble about the need for renovations in the inn while maintaining a calm facade as she said, “Good night.”
Good night my foot; she was anything but calm.
The warmth and fragrance beside her constantly reminded her that Yun Duan was lying right next to her. Previously, Shang Can had thought that since they had slept together before, this shouldn’t be a problem. However, her expression turned serious as she crossed out that thought, feeling that doing so in this foggy state where she knew she had feelings for Yun Duan was akin to self-torture.
She was somewhat aware of the tumultuous emotions stirring within her. In the illusion created by Qin Yi, where one’s thoughts could become reality, they hit her like a ton of bricks, inciting a mix of anger and embarrassment within her.
What is this? Shang Can thought to herself. A typical senior would not want their junior to confess their feelings to them, right? Would the master break her legs if he found out?
It seemed she might have impure thoughts, and they were dangerously potent.
Shang Can quickly realized that the current situation wasn’t good for her mental state. She felt somewhat grateful for the white cloth covering her eyes, as it spared her from the trial of turning her head and immediately seeing Yun Duan’s face.
She listened intently for a while, convinced that Yun Duan had indeed fallen asleep, and began considering sneaking out to pour herself a cup of tea. Just as she carefully moved her hand, however, the person beside her suddenly sat up, then swung a leg over to straddle her.
“?!”
The suddenness of the event caught Shang Can off guard; she was slow to react and barely managed to raise her hand to steady the swaying shoulder of the person who had leaned over her.
“I didn’t do anything!”
Feeling inexplicably guilty, she hastily defended herself, giving off a vibe of guilty conscience that made her feel even more frustrated.
Yet the Yun Duan sitting on her didn’t make a sound or move again, remaining quiet as she let Shang Can hold her.
Realizing something was off, Shang Can hesitantly released her grip, but Yun Duan began to lean forward again in silence, prompting her to quickly re-stabilize her. A thought formed in Shang Can’s mind as she aimed to shift Yun Duan off her, but just then, the other person reacted, silently grabbing her hand and wrapping it around her waist.
What kind of awkward position is this?!
Shang Can was taken aback, nearly sweating from the shock. She attempted to withdraw her hand but found it gripped tightly by Yun Duan. All she could do was tentatively call out, “… Yun Duan?”
“…”
Yun Duan remained silent, fully engrossed in her position on top of Shang Can.
Shang Can’s feelings became quite complex as she grasped the situation.
She didn’t know whether to feel relieved that Yun Duan was unaware of what she was doing—this must be a recurrence of Yun Duan’s old ailment, a form of sleepwalking.
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