Fleeing in Panic.
Leaning against the closed door, Yunyan slowly realized the implications of her earlier actions. No matter how strongly she expressed her anger towards Nanshuang or how loud the sound of the door slamming was, it was all just a disguise for her inner cowardice; ultimately, she was merely fleeing in panic.
But what was she hiding?
Was it the discomfort of being hit where it hurt, or the fear that Nanshuang’s sharp words might contain a grain of truth?
Yunyan knew this all too well, yet she didn’t want to think any further.
Outside the door, she could faintly hear sounds, as if Wanshao was arguing with Nanshuang. Although she was aware that her actions were rather rude, she couldn’t bring herself to go out and mediate; she quietly walked to the table in the room, sat down, and covered her ears, wishing for the world to become quiet.
She didn’t want to listen; she didn’t want to hear anything.
Except for the words that Shanggan had spoken to her personally, she didn’t want to hear anything else.
Had she not considered the things Nanshuang said? Yet now, it was hard to clarify what she was pursuing: Was she seeking an answer, hoping to resolve her obsession, or simply wanting to see Shanggan once more?
For these past few days, she had been on the verge of collapse, yet she clung stubbornly to the desire to find Shanggan. Anyone who looked at her would know she was not in a good state, but those around her who understood the situation felt pity for her. Even Pei Chen only subtly advised her, but no one was as blunt and ruthless as Nanshuang.
Some things, even if she had similar thoughts in her heart, could not be openly discussed with others.
A few knocks sounded at the door, followed by Wanshao’s cautious voice: “Are you okay? I’ve already scolded Nanshuang; don’t take her words to heart…”
Yunyan remained silent for a moment, and ultimately did not open the door. She only said, “… I’m sorry; I’m not feeling well today. Please, feel free to do as you like.”
Her tone was firm, and the outside went silent. Yunyan leaned on the table, burying her face in her arms, and quietly closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, it was already nightfall.
The room was unlit, and Yunyan straightened her posture, shivering slightly.
The winter chill seeped in, and her thin body made it uncomfortable to have fallen asleep on the table. Yunyan felt her mind still a bit muddled, as if she were trapped in an ambiguous stupor, yet her body stubbornly insisted that at such a late hour, she was wide awake.
This was not an unusual occurrence; one could say that being able to sleep for a while after what had happened during the day was somewhat fortunate. Yunyan quietly stood up. After a short nap, her mood had stabilized considerably; at least she could calmly recall Nanshuang’s words, with a part of her, like a detached observer, nodding in agreement.
Yunyan shook her head and walked to the door. After hesitating for a moment, she pushed it open.
Outside was a silent courtyard enveloped in the deep night—just as it should be.
“Hey, why are you awake at this hour?”
Yuange, squatting in one corner of the courtyard, looked up in surprise at Yunyan. Yunyan noticed she was messing with several lumps of snow that had yet to take shape and quickly realized she seemed to be playing in the snow.
Most of the snow in the courtyard had been trampled into a mess, but the area where Yuange was still retained a patch of undisturbed snow; whether it was due to luck or her conscious effort to leave a space during the day was unclear.
Since they had already run into each other, Yunyan didn’t plan to act as if she hadn’t seen her, so she slightly nodded and replied, “I took a nap during the day, just woke up and wanted to get some fresh air.”
“I see, that’s similar to me,” Yuange nodded with a small smile, saying, “I couldn’t sleep at all tonight, so I came out to hang around.”
As she spoke, she poked the snow in front of her again, looking at her frozen fingertips with a hint of curiosity. “You might not know this, but snow is a rare thing for us residents of the ghost realm. After all, the Underworld… you’ve been there; there’s really not much to see. It’s just a place where the ghost clan can barely find shelter.”
Yunyan hadn’t intended to engage in much conversation with Yuange, but she could sense Yuange’s mood was low from her few words. Yunyan subtly furrowed her brows, unsure if she should show concern. After all, her relationship with Yuange wasn’t close; both she and Nanshuang were much more familiar with Shanggan. She had only interacted with them due to her connection with Shanggan, and perhaps it would be more natural to exchange a few polite remarks before saying goodbye.
After standing there for a while, she hesitantly spoke up, “… Are you staying here tonight?”
This was clearly a given, and Yuange paused for a moment before realizing Yunyan was awkwardly trying to strike up a conversation. The flower demon bit her lip and smiled, “Yes, since there’s nothing urgent these days, A-Shuang wanted to stay here a bit longer, so I stayed with her… Sorry for not letting you know in advance that I’d be staying in your house.”
Knowing that Yuange had been hiding in the room all day, Yunyan shook her head and said, “It’s okay; feel free to use the empty room; it doesn’t serve any other purpose.”
“……”
It seemed that her casual tone had touched on something in Yuange’s heart. The latter’s face slowly revealed a mix of guilt and soothing feelings as she softly said, “During the day, please don’t take what A-Shuang said to heart; it was her fault.”
In Yunyan’s impression of Yuange, it was quite rare for her to assert that Nanshuang was in the wrong so decisively. Yunyan blinked in surprise and hadn’t opened her mouth yet when Yuange became indignant, sighing, “I don’t understand why she did that; she wouldn’t tell me even when I asked her—but she definitely said those words on purpose for you. If you really let it bother you, then it’s just what A-Shuang wanted.”
As she spoke, she grew outraged again, saying, “What she said this time was indeed excessive. No matter what Shanggan does, you two—what do cultivators call it again? Dao partners? Yes, your matters as Dao partners shouldn’t be subject to comment from others—”
“—No, that’s not it.”
Her breath caught momentarily; Yunyan was slow to correct, “A-Shuang and I… we, we are not in that kind of relationship.”
“… Huh?” Yuange widened her eyes in disbelief, bewildered. “Not? Really?”
A complex mix of embarrassment and melancholy rose within Yunyan, and she didn’t know how to respond, so she could only nod silently. Yuange was momentarily stunned and finally said awkwardly after a while, “I thought…”
“So you like Shanggan, but haven’t been able to be together yet?”
The flower demon’s words were too straightforward. Yunyan instinctively averted her gaze from the look Yuange shot her, hesitating to respond when she heard Yuange sigh with mixed emotions, “Then it’s… just like me.”
Returning to her room, Yunyan sat at the table, feeling a bit dazed.
“Then I’ll just intrude…”
Behind her, Yuange peeked her head in. She clearly had a strong interest in this room but, out of etiquette, didn’t dare to look around too much. She slightly lowered her head in a proper manner, but her eyes wandered everywhere, looking quite curious.
Yunyan pressed her lips together and said, “If you want to look, just go ahead; it’s just an ordinary room.”
“Oh, okay.” Gaining permission, the flower demon became bolder and looked around left and right, honestly stating, “It really is quite ordinary. I heard Wanshao say you’re now living in the room where Shanggan used to stay, and I thought there would be some decorations related to her inside.”
“……”
For a moment, Yun Duan didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed about exposing her living situation in Shang Can’s room or to refute Yuan Ge’s words. After a pause, she awkwardly changed the subject: “Didn’t you say you wanted to ask for my opinion on something? Go ahead.”
The previously composed Yuan Ge suddenly showed signs of shyness upon hearing this. She instinctively clenched her hands resting on her knees, uncharacteristically hesitant, and after a long moment, spoke softly, “It’s about me and Ah Shuang. I’m a bit unsure…”
With the flower spirit’s arrival, the long-standing quiet and chilly atmosphere of the room was mixed with a faintly sweet and sour scent. Yun Duan couldn’t tell if this was the natural fragrance of the flower spirit or an illusion brought on by the topic. She suddenly felt a bit strange, as if experiencing a dislocation from reality.
Before tonight, she had never imagined—she would one day become someone whom others consulted about their romantic troubles.
She had already been taken aback earlier in the yard. Ever since meeting these two in the ghost realm, she had viewed the inseparable Ah Shuang and Yuan Ge as a pair of alien lovers. Now, suddenly learning from Yuan Ge that they weren’t together and that Yuan Ge still harbored unrequited feelings left Yun Duan somewhat stunned.
“I’ve liked her for quite a while now,” Yuan Ge said, her voice tinged with a bit of frustration. The once lively and sweet flower spirit now bore a hint of sorrow, revealing the unspoken worries of a young girl: “I got to know her not long after Ah Shuang came to the ghost realm. At that time, I suddenly heard rumors saying that a troublemaker had arrived in the ghost realm, a cultivator from outside the sky, fierce in combat and ruthless, possibly ready to overturn the ghost king. It was best not to provoke her.”
“But I’m not very obedient; the more others said that, the more I wanted to see her.” Her voice was slightly drifting, her gaze distant, “Who would have thought that taking a glance would lead to this, getting myself involved…”
Yuan Ge shook her head, gathering herself again, and smiled, saying, “Ah Shuang used to talk even less than she does now and wasn’t fond of interacting with others. If a ghost clan came to provoke her, she would fight; otherwise, she’d just find a random spot to daydream, and I had no idea what she was thinking, as if she had no interest in the world at all.”
“The more she acted like that, the more I wanted to tease her. At first, I just wanted to see what would move her, but then…”
She paused, closed her eyes for a moment, and then changed the subject: “After all these years, I’ve become very clear about my feelings. I know that in your eyes, it probably seems like me and her should naturally be together. But—”
Yun Duan turned her head away, thinking that the demon race was indeed more open about feelings than the human race. Yet, Yuan Ge suddenly fell silent here, her lively eyes dimming somewhat. After a long time, she finally moved her lips again.
“But all these years, Ah Shuang has been like this.”
“She doesn’t say she wants me to leave, nor does she say she wants me to stay.”
“My presence doesn’t matter to her,” Yuan Ge’s voice trembled slightly. Yun Duan hesitated and looked over. Yuan Ge was lowering her head, so Yun Duan couldn’t see her expression. “Unless there’s something really important, she has never taken the initiative to seek me out. Even if I purposely sulk and don’t see her for a long time, in the end, I’m the one who can’t help but run to her, and her attitude towards me remains unchanged, as if nothing had ever happened.”
“And then I… I don’t dare to say anything.”
It was hard to connect the cautious Yuan Ge before her with the image Yun Duan had of her. Yun Duan felt somewhat at a loss. Yuan Ge seemed to sense Yun Duan’s emotions and instead offered her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I actually just wanted someone to talk to since I don’t have anyone else I can talk to about Ah Shuang.”
She cradled her face in her hands and pretended to sigh in relief, saying, “At this point, I also admit that Ah Shuang has been quite nice to me. Among her friends, I’m probably the first. As for whether she… likes me the same way I like her…”
Her originally bright tone now carried a hint of gloom. The flower spirit lowered her beautiful brows, smiling quietly, “At least she sees me as a friend, and I can stay by her side, which isn’t so bad.”
Something in Yun Duan was suddenly touched. She gripped her hands tightly, and her body stiffened.
Rationally, she knew she shouldn’t say anything irresponsible and was aware that she had no understanding of the details of Yuan Ge and Ah Shuang’s relationship. Yet, Yun Duan, as if possessed, uncontrollably blurted out her denial: “No, that’s not right.”
“…What?”
Yuan Ge looked at Yun Duan in surprise but saw the cold, new snow-like girl frowning in pain, her clear and unblemished face revealing a softness hidden beneath an icy surface, accompanied by an unexplainable regret and melancholy.
“That kind of thought… it’s not right.”
She heard Yun Duan’s voice trembling, yet it exuded a certain resolve as she firmly said, “What you should say to her is your feelings and your thoughts about her.”
Yuan Ge stared at Yun Duan in a daze, witnessing her eyes suddenly glistening with tears, her voice almost inaudible.
“…Otherwise, you will definitely regret it.”
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