“Surprise!”
Melodie held up a plate of cookies to River’s chest. The sugar cookies were messily decorated with pink and green icing, a wonky looking smiley face sitting front and center. Most of the icing was splotchy and thin because Melodie wouldn’t wait until they cooled to start decorating. They were a mess, but adorable.
River wore a tense smile as he took them in.
“Thank you, Melodie.”
A beat passed, but River hadn’t moved. Melodie’s bright grin faltered.
“Eat one, Daddy!” she instructed. But River shook his head, side stepping his daughter to drop his keys down on the kitchen island.
“I’m sorry, sweetie, I’m not hungry right now. I’ll have one tomorrow.”
River was taking off his shoes and heading for the couch but Melodie still stood by the door, her rejected cookies held out. Hunter’s heart broke a little bit for her. Of all the reactions she hoped he would have, this is the last one she expected.
River noticed her sad frame and sighed.
“How was school?”
Hunter plucked the plate from her hands, allowing Melodie to run to her father’s side. She began to regale him with all the adventures she’d had. It was a pretty mundane day from what she told Hunter hours before. They’d done some singing and learned a new game.
River did his best to react and be engaged. Yet, his body was tense and his smile was as fake as the one he used at the bar. Melodie finished her story and, after a quick hug, was sent off to bed. With his daughter out of sight, River finally let go.
Hunter replaced Melodie’s spot on the couch and began rubbing soothing circles on River’s knee.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just a bad day. Bad customers,” he muttered, eyes shut against the palms of his hands. River stayed there, pushing his hands into his eyes and seeming too wrecked for it to just have been a ‘bad day.’ Looking around for a way to help, Hunter spotted the plate of cookies. He got up and returned with the melted smiley face.
“Why don’t you try a cookie? Melodie and I made them with all our hearts.”
River rolled his eyes, eyeing the sugary treat with disdain.
“No matter how much love you guys tried to stuff in them, cookies can’t fix this.”
“You can still try~”
“I don’t want the fucking cookies!”
River smacked the cookie from Hunter’s hand, leaving it smeared on the gray carpet. They made no sound for a moment. River stared at the mess before letting out a single scoff.
“I don’t have time for this.”
Hunter’s temper flared. Hours of work. Double that in clean-up. Meticulous decorating and numerous conversations of what “Dad” would think of her cookies. All that earnest effort from a sweet child and that was River’s thank you? He reached out, stopping River from standing up.
“Don’t say that,” Hunter glowered. “Do you know how excited Melodie was to make these for you? As a parent you have to at least acknowledge that.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” River hissed, flinging Hunter’s hand from his body. “You don’t know me and you definitely don’t know my daughter. You have no right to tell me what to do as a parent.”
“River-“
“I am a perfectly capable father!” River leapt up from the couch, spinning toward Hunter with a fiery glare, his hackles raised. “Do you know how long I spend thinking about Melodie every single day? Wondering if she finished her homework, worrying if she got fed, hoping I make her happy? Do you?”
River shuttered out a breath and Hunter finally saw how badly he was hurting.
“And I’m the only one. I’m the only person who will know if something happens to her. So if I forget, if I don’t get her food in time, she won’t eat, Hunter. She doesn’t eat! But everyday she eats and is washed and gets help on her homework and do you know who made that happen? Me! I did it all by myself. So I don’t need you to come in here and tell me how to raise my own daughter. I’m doing perfectly fine on my own.”
“Of course you are,” Hunter sighed. “Because you’re a good dad.”
“No, you don’t- huh?”
River sputtered. He was utterly confused. Hunter was supposed to lash back and make a dig at River. They were supposed to argue until something couldn’t be taken back and leave with renewed resentment and hurt.
But Hunter was pulling him back down to the couch, holding River’s quivering right fist between gentle hands. Hunter looked soft and calm and concerned. River’s fists unclenched.
“What’s wrong?” Hunter asked. “Because I doubt this has to do with cookies.”
It was the strangest time to do so but River laughed, the sound scratchy after all the yelling he’d done. Hunter watched him do so with a warm look. He needed to see River’s real smile again. Needed it in a way he could never explain.
When River was done, he wrung his hands together before reaching for one of Hunter’s. Hunter accepted the gesture immediately. Now he could start.
“I’m a part of a parenting group on Facebook,” River chuckled, shaking his head at the ludicrousy of it all. “And there was a post about kids who grow up without moms.”
Things were starting to fall into place in Hunter’s mind, but he simply nodded. River needed to tell him himself.
“These kids were messed up, Hunter,” he croaked, his voice failing him. “Miserable, sad, and permanently grieving the loss of their moms. I-I don’t know. When I looked at them, all I saw was Melodie.”
A single tear slipped down River’s cheek and he rushed to wipe it away. The big tough man was breaking down and all Hunter wanted to do was to protect him. Hunter reached out to wipe away the second tear and, miraculously, River let him.
“If I mess up with her, I could fuck her up for the rest of her life.”
“You won’t,” was Hunter’s simple rebuttal.
“But-“
“River, everybody makes mistakes,” Hunter sighed, patting the older man’s shoulder comfortingly. “That’s literally the golden rule.”
River paused, head tilting in confusion like a German shepherd.
“Isn’t the golden rule about doing unto others-“
“No, it’s ‘everybody makes mistakes,'” Hunter repeated with a stubborn pout. “Hannah Montana literally made a song about it so it must be true.”
Hunter grinned triumphantly when River laughed for the second time.
“But seriously. It’s your human right to mess up and you barely let yourself do it,” Hunter argued, firmly holding River’s hands between his. “And even if you do mess up, even if you make mistakes sometimes, you’re still perfect. At least . . . you’re perfect to me.”
River didn’t cry this time. Instead, he gripped the collar of Hunter’s jacket, pulling him down into a kiss. Their mouths slotted together and Hunter’s body shook from the wave of desire that hit him. He reached for River’s body, hands dragging everywhere until they hit skin. He just needed to feel him.
Then, wetness hit Hunter’s face. After a moment of confusion, he realized River was still crying. He couldn’t make him stop, couldn’t force him to change how he felt. But he could hold the sides of River’s jaw and deepen the kiss. So that’s what he did.
He pulled River close enough that he could feel his chest expanding with each inhale of breath. He glued their bodies together, pushing until River fell back on the couch. Hunter didn’t put his whole body weight on the shorter man. Just enough so River could feel him. He pressed just hard enough that hopefully, River would feel that everything Hunter said was true.
———————————
Whoo! That was a lot, lol.
Would you have eaten the cookie?
Did Hunter do a good job of supporting River? Let me know your thoughts!
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