Melodie’s clothes were so much smaller and pinker than River’s. Folding the laundry, River could really see the size difference. Her jeans often had flowers or stars embroidered on them and half of her shirts had cute bubble sleeves. Delicately, he added a blue shirt to the lopsided pile.
His evenings were a lot quieter these days.
Melodie spent most afternoons out with her mother and Hunter had been spending more time at the office. River had noticed how rare Hunter’s invitations were becoming, but could he force his boyfriend to be around?
Most days, he tried not to think about it. Avoiding thoughts of Hunter’s absence made it feel like it didn’t exist. Things were easier this way. But in the back of his mind, River dreamed of a third pile.
The shirts would be more expensive than River’s, grays and creams and all shades of blue. The pile would also be half the size since the man it belonged to needed a lot of dry cleaning. Truthfully, River would’ve loved to get the burden of another person’s clothes to fold. Another plate of food to make. Another person to say “good morning” to at the start of the day.
Selfishly, River missed Hunter’s presence. Two months ago, it was like they were living together. Most mornings River woke up with Hunter in his bed and most nights he fell asleep with Hunter in his arms. It happened so naturally River only realized what he had once it was gone.
His eyes found the cell phone resting on his coffee table. One call. One call and Hunter would be here. River could apologize for not being more honest. He could ask him to come home.
That’s when the doorbell rang. River scrambled to his feet and combed back his shaggy hair with his fingers. He wanted to see Hunter but he didn’t think he would see him so soon.
In seconds, a script began to form in his mind. Hunter would say “hi” first but River would speak next, apologizing. He needed to say it as soon as possible. He needed to communicate better. He needed to tell Hunter the truth.
River pulled the door open.
“Mrs. Benjamin?”
Daureen Benjamin, Nia’s mother, stood outside his door. Melodie waited in front of her with an absent-minded smile. The austere black woman, donning a short, cropped wig and black trenchcoat, was older than River remembered. Probably since it had been years since he saw her.
What hadn’t changed was the judgemental glare she scanned him with. A more extreme version of the look her daughter and granddaughter had. Nia walked up behind the pair. Her gait was heavier than normal but River didn’t give it a second thought. Nia was always tense around her mother.
“Are you going to let us in?”
River shuffled out of the way, letting Daureen pull his child inside.
“I didn’t know you were in town, Mrs. Benjamin,” River commented, hiding his wince when both Nia and her mother brought their shoes in. Melodie took off her shoes in a rush, watching Daureen in anticipation. This is the first time her grandmother visited.
Clutching her purse toward her, Daureen frowned.
“Nia didn’t tell you?” she questioned, puzzled as she glanced from him to her daughter. “I’m the one who brought her back.”
“Mom.”
Nia glared at her mother, an anxious expression on her beautiful face. Daureen rolled her eyes and turned to the easier one to deal with–her grandchild.
“Melodie, why don’t you show me your room?”
That approach was incredibly effective. Melodie was tattering off excitedly while her grandmother dragged her away. Daureen’s comment stuck in River’s mind. Nia’s mom brought her back? He wanted to ask what that meant and see what that had to do with Nia rejoining Melodie’s life.
“I want to revisit the custody conversation,” Nia pulled out a manila folder. It was the same one as before, beige with the words “custody files” along the front. “I think I’ve proven that I’m a good parent and deserve to be in Melodie’s life in an official capacity.”
River scanned over the words before rolling his eyes slightly.
“Nia, why do you have to rush it?” he sighed heavily. River trailed into the kitchen and Nia followed impatiently. Nia’s pressing made him nervous. So, it was easier to focus on making Melodie’s lunch for the next day instead of what this meant.
“You spend half the week with her already,” he added. “You should be grateful I’m letting you see her as much as you have.”
River paused with his hand on the fridge door, turning to see where Nia was. She’d stopped behind the kitchen island, holding the entirety of her weight up with two slender hands. She was staring at the counter, burning a hole through the marble with her stare. Until she looked up at him.
“Fine. I’m taking you to court.”
A chill ran down his spine.
“What?”
“I want full custody over Melodie and if you’re not going to cooperate, I’ll take you to court,” she threatened, eyes full of intent. “Who do you think they’re going to side with? A guy who works at a bar for a living or her mother?”
The word ‘custody’ brought an odd feeling to River’s chest. He knew he’d been divorced for years, but Melodie was never a part of the equation. Melodie was his child and he and Nia agreed on that. Now, five years later, she was fighting him for her. A sort of fear he never had before ceased his lungs. It was hard to breathe.
River spun away from the intense woman behind him, clutching his chest. The panic was becoming overwhelming. How the hell would he get out of this? How could he keep Melodie in the end?
No. He couldn’t panic. He couldn’t lose her.
As River spiraled, Nia watched him silently. Her eyes were guarded and cloudy, the typical sheen long gone. River couldn’t see how her grip loosened, nails losing their bite in the marble.
After a moment, River found the words. He figured out how he would argue, how he would ask Nia to change her mind. But when he did, the door swung open with an irritating groan.
“Mom!” she yelled, a smile the farthest thing from the expression on her face. “We’re leaving!”
Mrs. Benjamin sped out of the room like she and Nia had choreographed it. Within seconds, they were gone.
Melodie would step out of her room in just a few moments. She would probably wonder why grandma left so quickly and where Mommy was. She would be happy and energetic and want River to be that too.
So River only had a few seconds to accept that Nia was threatening to rip Melodie away from him. Then, he needed to look at Melodie and not cry. He needed to smile. He needed to be okay.
“Daddy!”
Time’s Up.
—————
The harsh blue light from Hunter’s computer burned through his retinas. But he didn’t notice it anymore. These last few days, work from home progressively replaced time with River. It wasn’t a perfect system. In fact it was just as bad as before, if not worse. At least before, he didn’t know how great it was to share his days with somebody else.
His condo was an icy cold. No need to warm the whole place when it was just him in it. Hunter was mentally debating ordering takeout when his phone rang.
“Hunter?” River’s words echoed through the apartment walls, lighting his space up from the inside out. “How are you? Everything good with work?“
River calling woke Hunter up. But now that he was awake, all he could hear was the shaking in River’s voice.
“I’m fine,” Hunter rushed out, leaning forward in his chair. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he blurted. There was a beat of silence, River’s breathing the only thing on the line. “No.”
River wasn’t the sort of man to stumble across his words. But this didn’t sound like River. This man was uncertain and shaky with every vowel. River released a deep sigh, mountains of stress carried along with the sound.
“I just really need someone to talk to,” he said softly.
Hunter understood. River needed a listening ear and he was someone in his contact list. Their status as boyfriends was shaky but he could do this much. He could do this for him.
“Well, what-“
“That’s a lie,” River blurted, rushed words blasting Hunter’s ear. “I need to talk to you. I want to talk to you.”
His honesty brought a wave of pride through Hunter’s body. And feelings of hope. Hope that the love he developed over this past year was reciprocated.
“Hey, I’m listening,” he replied. “I’m here for you.”
The response Hunter got was different from what he expected.
“I know it’s late but . . . ” River trailed off softly. “Can you come over?“
—————
Because it was late at night, Melodie was fast asleep. She didn’t hear Hunter unlocking the front door with his own key. She didn’t hear Hunter run into the house until he found River seated on his bed. She didn’t know that her father ran into Hunter’s arms.
Minutes passed with them frozen this way. The moment Hunter saw him, all his concerns were confirmed. River looked wrecked and fearful to a degree he’d never seen before.
Hunter held the older man tightly, like if he squeezed tight enough, he could piece River back together. River pressed his face into Hunter, inhaling him deeply.
“She’s trying to take Melodie.”
“What?”
Hunter stepped back, confused. River’s face was pinched in pain and in stress.
“She wants full custody,” he explained, voice strained. “Otherwise, she’ll take me to court.”
Hunter’s image of the past month dissolved. His concept of River and Nia’s relationship was being flipped on its head.
“I thought things were going great. I thought-” he paused, the words caught in his throat. “I thought you were getting back together.”
Hunter halted the course of River’s spiral. The older man’s eyes grew wide and he turned to his boyfriend, mouth agape. Then, he smacked Hunter across the head.
“What the fuck?” River exploded. Hunter held the back of his head, waiting for another attack when River grabbed his face and kissed him.
Hunter stumbled forward, catching himself on the edge of the mattress. River was pulling at his hair, dragging him in, and Hunter just held on for the ride. The kiss was chaotic and messy. But in it, Hunter felt so much. So much love? He couldn’t tell. What he did know was that when River pulled back, pressing their foreheads together, Hunter wanted to dive in for more.
“I care about you, not her,” River whispered passionately. “Do you get that?”
Hunter answered by nodding, which made River’s head move as well. The two giggled at how strange that was. Laughing was odd to do during such a tense conversation but Hunter loved it. He loved that this was what it was like to be with River. He loved that he would have more time to enjoy moments like this.
“I didn’t mean to be paranoid,” Hunter explained softly. “But she was watching Melodie so often that you stopped asking me to help. And I couldn’t stop thinking about those emails.”
“Emails,” River breathed with a soft chuckle, his hair swishing when he shook his head. “Those emails were the ones I sent her about how fast Melodie was growing, what she was learning at school, just random life updates. I thought that she deserved to see how Melodie was doing, but she never replied. I didn’t know she even read them.”
The truth was, of course, perfectly reasonable. All Hunter had to do was ask for it.
“I’m sorry I misunderstood,” he sighed regretfully, groaning as he threw his arms around RIver again.
“I’m sorry I made you think I would choose her over you,” River apologized with a wry smile. “Because I don’t. I choose you.”
Hunter didn’t know how badly he needed to hear River say it. He could feel his heart release, tension he’d carried for the past several weeks leaving in an instant. Hunter wanted to scream and yell from the top of his lungs. He so badly wanted to celebrate. But there were more pressing issues to think about now.
The light in River’s eyes dimmed again and he fell into Hunter’s arms, dejected. His body began to shake and Hunter tightened his hold.
“What are we going to do?” River choked out.
Hunter’s brain was muddled. Besides it being so late into the night, it was hard to think logically when Melodie was on the line. He never once imagined what it would be like for that sweet little girl to be taken away. And he didn’t want to start now. Slowing his breathing, Hunter tried to focus.
Mothers were a lot more likely to get custody over their kids. If he wanted to avoid a messy trial, River needed to prove that Nia wouldn’t win. Or, that going to trial wouldn’t be worth it. For once, Hunter couldn’t do everything on his own. But if he learned one thing in the last year, it was that sometimes you need to ask for help.
“I know some lawyers,” he began slowly. The longer he let the thought sit, the more sense it made. “Several, actually. I’ll talk to some of them, check out your options.”
River didn’t look up. His face was smushed into the jacket Hunter was too rushed to take off. Hunter didn’t expect him to be okay. His daughter meant everything to him. Still, Hunter rubbed a soothing hand up and down his back.
“You don’t need to panic,” Hunter murmured into River’s hair. “We’ll do this together.”
The man in his arms stilled. Hunter wondered if saying “we” was the wrong move. Then, River plopped his chin on Hunter’s chest, looking up at the taller man with bright eyes.
“Would it be crazy to ask you to spend the night?”
Hunter laughed breathily, leaning down to kiss River softly.
“I was hoping you would.”
———————————
That parent truce was short-lived.
Can you believe Nia wants full custody?
And the way Hunter and River comforted each other??? 🫠🫠ðŸ«
What else can I say? I love good communication.
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