Chapter 18
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*Jayden’s POV*
I had not gotten any rest despite having fallen asleep because at that point I had been too tired to keep my eyes open. I’d woken up from a nightmare just an hour and a half into sleep.
The dream had taken place in the kitchen earlier that morning, but it had been Brent instead of Corey asking me questions. He had been angry that I wasn’t replying, pinning me to the wall as he had in the elevator. Just like in the elevator, he had been ripped from me. The only difference was that it was Corey who had held onto me once Brent was gone, not Sean.
The shock at realising he was the one hugging me was what woke me, and the instant deep, ache in my chest that came from that only being a dream made me give up on sleeping.
I had gotten cleaned up hoping to forget about the dream and wandered downstairs hearing noises from the kitchen.
Finn was coming over in about half an hour, so that was something to look forward to.
I found everyone in the kitchen, except the person I always hoped and dreaded seeing. He felt quite far away. Maybe it was because of how down bad the mate bond had me, but I still wanted to see him every time I walked into a room. My eyes trailed over to where we had stood that morning, and I got the phantom feeling of his hands on my arms that made me lift my hand to my shoulder.
Why?
Why couldn’t I stop hoping that he would suddenly change? Why was I so desperate to see him when he made it so clear he didn’t want anything to do with me?
It hurt so much.
“Jay, how are your feet?” Izabella asked as I sat down beside her at the kitchen island.
Kaden didn’t even bother asking and just came over to inspect me. I smiled at him.
“Oh – I-I’m okay. No cuts.”
The bowls had not smashed too much.
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” he muttered.
I bit the inside of my cheek remembering how Corey jerked towards me when the bowls smashed before Sean stopped him. Maybe the sound had just shocked him. That possibility didn’t stop the mate part of my brain from convincing me that he had wanted to help.
That morning, he had seemed genuinely concerned about who I had talked about. I wasn’t sure what he would have done if Sean had not walked in, but it didn’t seem like usual. It didn’t seem like he was being mean or aggressive when he stepped up to me.
“Don’t worry, Corey’s not here.” Hayley had noticed I glanced around for him.
She couldn’t tell it was because I actually wanted to see him.
“I’m so sorry about the way our Beta acted this morning,” Sean said.
I shook my head.
“You… shouldn’t be. He wasn’t… It-it was a misunderstanding…” I mumbled.
“You don’t have to make excuses for him, Jayden,” he said with a frown.
“I’m not, it really was.”
“What do you mean?”
“I um… We weren’t quite arguing when you walked in. He was just asking me something…”
“But he was – It looked like you were arguing, he was holding you.”
“He was just trying to calm me down.” I looked away from them, trying to figure out what I would say if they asked why he needed to, a slight panic filling me at the memory of the call. Luckily Sean spoke up.
“So… I went off on him for no reason?” he asked.
I nodded.
“So what? He’s been an asshole ever since you came to our pack. He deserved it,” Kaden muttered.
No one argued with that, but Sean still looked like he felt bad as he sighed and leaned back against the counter. The room was quiet for a minute before Hayley suddenly spoke, making everyone turn to me.
“Um, what was he asking you about?”
I opened my mouth despite being completely uncertain about what my next words would be, but was saved by the sound of the living room door.
I felt bad when no one reacted to it, and he didn’t call out.
Usually, Corey and his friends were quite loud around each other, always excited to see each other – especially him and the girls. Now it was awkwardly silent as he walked through the living room. His footsteps paused just outside the kitchen but then continued upstairs without entering.
My fingers found the edge of the counter, gripping it as the urge to follow him ran through me. No. I wasn’t going to check on him. It was his fault they were angry at him, and he would just be pissed if I went anywhere near him.
Why did I keep feeling bad? He was the one that had insulted Finn and me, he was the one that had been hurtful and rude. He hadn’t been that morning, but everyone’s anger was built on more than that. I still felt empathetic.
I wished I could turn off the mate pull, the connection between us – or at least ignore it the way he always did. Usually, powerful wolves had the hardest time controlling their urges towards their mates, it was impossible for them to stay away from their mates, but his hatred for me must have been enough to overpower even that.
“I guess I have to apologize for going off on him earlier,” Sean sighed before he looked at me, his brows furrowing. “Jayden, you didn’t answer Hayley’s –”
Relief flooded me when the doorbell rang, and I immediately sprung from my seat.
“Oh! That’s Finn! I have to go! I’ll be in the city. My phone’s on but I might not check it. Um – see you later!”
I bolted from the room before they could say anything else, Finn’s timing making me like him even more.
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