Ashers POV:
It’s Friday today, most of my bruises have turned the familiar sickly green and yellow colour, my chest dosent hurt anymore, my limp is gone and my arm only aches from time to time. Overall I’m getting better, which is weird to some extent. Feeling such little pain feels strange, I’ve grown so used to the constant never ending pain for three years this is the least pain I have been in so far, so it’s different but not resented.
Honestly being Jays boyfriend still seems like a dream, I mean seriously HES MY BOYFRIEND! The thought at first scared the hell out of me, just another person to get attached to only to lose them in the end. First mom, then Justin and finally Zak. They all leave eventually. But when he asked me I was already on cloud nine, already filled with so much joy and peace I longed for so long that my reply was the first thing that came to mind, I didn’t think about the downside.
But the morning after I did, I though about everything. It crossed my mine many times that having a boyfriend comes with the sexual aspect to it, it just seemed like the way it goes. But I don’t want that, to me sex dosent remind me of love or romantic novels, to me I just see him, I see them. To me its not loving and gently or by choice, its harsh and it hurts so bad and I have to say in it, I never have a say in it as I attempt to fight time and time again while they ignore my pleas and use me however they desire, its the worst thing I could imagine.
I try my best not to think about it but even as the thought crosses my mind I had a full on panic attack on the way to school that day. But Jay was there this time, I wasn’t alone suffering like normal, this time I had Jay. He didn’t mind if we were late for school and surprisingly neither did Lily who was also in the car. After I calmed down I didn’t even have to say anything for Jay to figure out sort of the reason behind it all and he dosent even know about what dad and his friends did to me. He promised that he would wait as long as he lives for me, that I had full control over what we did. And that seemed to flip a switch in me, to have control, I never have control over anything. The feeling was so foreign.
Jay stuck to his word and didn’t go past kissing and making out, and for that I can’t ask for a better boyfriend.
The days starts off like normal. Get up, get ready for school( Jay makes me take a bath again and even though I’m still terrified of water he was there with me the whole time so it was just slightly easier than the last time), have breakfast then carpool to school with Lily. We get to school and the first half of the day passes until were back on the roof for lunch. Jay and Amy are having a random conversation while I just sit in between his legs casually cracking his fingers. Ive gotten more comfortable with Amy around, I never ‘not liked’ her shes kind and wild, I just wasn’t comfortable around her like almost every other living breathing human on the planet apart from Jay. But it’s getting better and the fear element isn’t so dominating anymore.
“Ow that one actually hurt!”Jay whined as I twisted his ring finger until I heard that satisfying crack sound.
“Ew I don’t know how you crack fingers, it’s just gross and weird.”Amy comments as her face contorts in disgust as I crack yet another finger. Jay cracks his fingers all the time so he dosen’t mind to much.
“technically cracking your finger isn’t actually that weird, all your doing is popping Nitrogen bubble trapped in the lubricant between your joints.”Jay informs,
“Oh shut up and stop being smart with me! It’s weird. End of.”She retorts while his laugh vibrates from his chest. “Whatever you say.” Amy nods with a huff and smiles triumphantly just as the warning bell rings.
“Uuggg I hate that stupid bell, its like a calling to torture.” Amy complains but gets up anyway, dragging herself up and back into the school. Jay gets up nod takes me with him. Hand in hand he walks me to my class and gives me a short kiss and giving death glares at Justin who’s in this class with me, before taking off for his own class.
I don’t really pay any attention to the lesson though, constantly thinking about how strange Jay is. How he’s kind when he dosent have to be, how he comforts me even If he has no idea whats wrong with me he still tries. I suppose it’s only weird because no one has ever done that to me before, treated me like I’m there prince all the time with out a reason, with out a reward or a benefit.
Class finishes and every one starts gathering their books and stationery, the sound of dragging chairs and chatter fill the air. I shove my books into my bag and head for the door, skilfully avoiding any and all contact with all the teenagers pouring out the door, I skill I have master over time. And I wait outside the class room for Jay to come get me, It occurred to me that having him come get me and drop me off to every single one of my classes makes me feel clingy and needy, having him go out his way for me selfish wants, but he was quick to shut that thought out and told me it was just his way of spending time with me.
“Looks like there’s no big boy to protect you this time.”An all to familiar voice whispers menacingly into my ear. I freeze up in fear, not being able to move my feet but not being able to stop the trembled that racked through my body.
“You really think that because he beat me once I’m what, terrified of him? Please, you should know better.”he snickers as his first fist lunges at my stomach making me double over in pain as it shots through me. He places a gentle hand on my shoulder as I bent over clutching my stomach, making me meet his eyes.
“Your going to pay one way or another, This is just the beginning.”His voice calm and laces with malice and hate that radiates off him, making my fear tenfold. He kicks my legs from under me sending me to the floor, me head colliding with the hard concrete. Dazed and disoriented he stares kicking me all over as I try to protect myself as best I can with my weak pathetic arms as the taste of metallic blood fills my mouth, but its nothing compared to what I’ve been through, just numb pain.
“WHAT THE FUCK!!”I hear Jays voice boom down the hall filled with a rage I had never heard before in his normally calm voice. The kicking came to an instant stop and I take this chance to peak up just in time to see Jay smash full force into Justins body, pushing his back into the lockers with a loud grunt.
Jay dosent hold back punching him with full force across his face as he pinned Justin to the locker behind him, A sickening crack echoing down the hall. But he dosen’t stop, he keeps punching and punching through Justins bloodied face. Justins only get a few hits in while taking hit after hit. My mind shut off as I stare at them, Fear seeming to Paralyse me. Finally snapping out of my daze I scramble to my feet ignoring the pain and lung myself at Jay, jumping between him and the bloody Justin and wrapping my arms tightly around his waits and burying my face in his chest. Jay snaps out of his rage and his fists freeze mid air, as if just realising what he had done. I can hear his heart pounding against his chest and his violent breaths.
“P-please s-stop”I rasp out in a shaky voice just loud enough for him to hear. I feel him slightly relax, his heart still racing but he releases Justin as his body slides to the floor in a fit of coughs. He cautiously wraps his arms gently around me, as if scared that he might break me. I cling to him tighter and he finally gives in, squeezing me firmly in his grasp and burying his head in the crook of my neck.
“I’m sorry.”He mumbles into the clothing of my shirt, gently rubbing soothing circles on my back. I’m still in shell shock I don’t have it in me to reply, just try to calm my self down, focusing on his now steady heart beat in an attempt to steady mine.
I don’t register him leading us out to his car or even the drive back to his house, its just a blur. I vaguely register him carrying me up to his room as I cling desperately to him, not wanting to ever let go.
“Can I take your top off to see if your ok?”he gently asks as he sets me down on the bed and I timidly nod my head. He cautiously lift my shirt over my head, his face contorting into one of guilt and pain as he inspects the damage.
“It doesn’t look too bad. I don’t think anything’s broken but you have a couple new bruises and some of the healing ones seem to have been hit. Does it hurt to much, I can get some aspirin for the pain.”he offers and I just nod again. He gets up and goes into is bathroom. Re-emerging from the bathroom he comes back with a bottle of aspirin, a glass of water and some wipes. Kneeling down in front of me he cleans the blood from my mouth and chin before handing me the aspirin and water, I don’t hesitate to gulp it down instantly.
“Th-thank y-you.”I finally managed to force out. He smiles softly at me before I see fear wash over him and his body tense, still not daring to touch me
“I’m so, so sorry. And I can understand if you afraid of my now an-“He rambles but I cut him off with the truth .
“I-I’m not sc-scared of y-you.”I mutter under my breath, but its true. I’m not scared for him because he was protecting me, he wasn’t like dad or Justin and his gang that are just violent, he had a valid reason. Sure seeing it happen was terrifying as hell but I realise that he’s not going to hurt me, he’s just protecting me. Only my mother had ever done that in a long time.
“your not?”He questions in disbelief and I just shake my head in his chest, offering a small smile through my still shaken form in reassurance. He audibly realises and breath and tackles me onto the bed, his arms wrapping around me and he’d nuzzling into the crook of my neck while I lay on my back, finally breaking into life as small giggles leave my mouth and a smile spread across my face.
“Thank you thank you thank you thank you!”he chats in between his light feathery kisses up my neck making me a squirming giggling mess under him. He kisses up my neck and jaw until he reaches my lips and captures them in an instant. I can feel his smile agains my lips as we kiss. Â
Sorry for the short chapter but like the ones to come will make up for it, i hope. Eh anyways hope u enjoy my story and like thx for reading, I’m rly bad at doing these message things so imma stop before I embarrass my ass, soooo yh byeeeee.Â
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