A few days later:
It’s been a few days since Jungkook left for London and taehyung is staying alone.
Jin came with his food and checked on him.
But taehyung strongly refused to go home with him too.
He missed jungkook.
Badly.
Jungkook always took care of him.
He loves taehyung.
Jungkook bears his stubborn and shitty behaviour.
But, he just hurt and insulted him.
Taehyung regretted everything he did.
He wanted to run to jungkook and hugged him and apologized to him and confessed his love.
Jungkook did all that for him and the only thing he did was hurt him.
This only thought killing taehyung from the inside out.
Taehyung tried to contact jungkook on whatsapp but jungkook didn’t receive his call or see his vm and texts.
Taehyung wanted to go there to meet him but namjoon told him not to, he is busy.
Taehyung knows Jungkook is angry at him.
And he has full right to get angry.
Taehyung remembered something.
He started searching for something in his closet.
Taehyung knows he saw it somewhere.
Taehyung finally finds it and finally got it
It’s jungkook’s purple diary.
Taehyung knows Jungkook loves to write.
Also taehyung found the diary a few months back but never bothered to open it.
It’s jungkook’s private thing.
But today he did,
He opened the diary.
Seeing the greetings his eyes are shocked and cooed.
The name of the diary is bora.
Taehyung thinks it’s cute.
But it’s not just a diary it’s a sketch diary.
Taehyung’s eyes are teary because it’s all about him.
The sketches he’s seeing are his.
Jungkook wrote all his feelings.
Jungkook dedicated this secret to him.
Jungkook drew him and only him.
Every page is filled with his sketch and a few lines are written with it.
Taehyung started reading it.
–
Sept, 1
Bora bora is my birthday and after getting scolded by joon hyung again i decided to propose to Tae, but you know, i wasn’t able to. He came to school and hugged me, kissed my cheeks but i just couldn’t. I gave him the cake and he gave me a bone crushing hug and his favourite chocolate bar which i fed him, he kissed my cheeks and ran away again, i stood dumbfounded but i clearly saw his blushing face. It hurts that I wasn’t able to confess. I’m such a loser. But his hugs always feel like home.
———–
Oct, 13
Today, we celebrated jimin’s birthday, yup, you know Bora a bad thing happened. We’re at the cafe and….. I didn’t want to write about it. I’m so sad. It’s bad. It’s really bad. What if Taehyung knows about this. He will hate me for sure. No no no. I can’t lose taehyung. He’s my life. My only life I’ve, Forgive me tae. Don’t leave me. Please. I don’t care what other people thought about me but I only care about his opinion. Don’t hate your gukie for it.
———–
Taehyung stopped reading.
He clearly remembered the date.
It was the same day.
Taehyung suddenly feels like crying again.
Everything changed after the day.
Taehyung wiped his falling tears and took the diary and started reading again.
Nov,17
What happened to taehyung bora? Why was he acting like this. He ignored me for a month. Whenever i asked he told me he had his nightmares again. I know what happened with kin-jo was very traumatized for him but we stopped cuddling and cheek picks like before, he stopped holding my hand and seems like he hates my presence. He needs time i guess. Hope he will be back to me soon.
————
Dec, 30
Bora, today’s tae’s birthday. He was looking angelic in his yellow suit. I gifted him a beautiful snow globe, which I made for him by myself. I collected two cute white bear statues and made the globe by myself. But taehyung told me he accidentally broke it. I felt sad but it’s okay. I know he’s clumsy, I’ll make another one again.
Taehyung’s feeling bad after reading it.
Taehyung clearly remembered the day.
Jungkook’s sad eyes when he told him that.
He really feels guilty for his behaviour.
But it’s not his fault either.
“Why gukie why?”, Taehyung mumbled.
He shook his head.
And went to the closet and took out a huge wooden box and opened it and started searching inside.
The box is very special for taehyung.
When he and jungkook were kids both made the box together for him.
Taehyung kept this hox because jungkook painted it purple and green.
And the box is decorated with smiley stickers and a small painted handprint and a heart which is written, ‘T+J’.
Taehyung loves the box.
He treasures it.
He keeps his favourite and secret treasure on it.
And finally he got what he was searching for a couple of minutes.
A beautiful smile appeared on his lips.
He takes the thing out of the box.
There’s a small box he is holding and Taehyung opens it and,
(Recognise the globe my readers?)
(They’re so cute like our tae)
“I didn’t break it”, by that taehyung hugged the globe.
The box is full with chocolate, toffee and candy rappers, unused and used dry colouring pens, little toys, broken key chains and colouring animal bandaids, small written sticky notes and many things like this.
Those are the things Taehyung treasures because jungkook gave them all.
He keeps them all and treasures them.
He put the globe back and took another book out, it’s a scrap book.
He gifted him on his 13th birthday.
There’s a bucket list, they made together when they were 8 and 9
The list says,
1/ get a job like appa
2/ marry taehyung/marry jungkookie
3/ honeymoon in foreign.
Taehyung giggled after seeing this.
They fulfilled two and one more left.
They got married but not the way they want but still they’re married.
There are so many memories he collected and kept it safe.
Taehyung is sad.
Again he took the diary and opened it for reading.
But he saw a strange thing that after 2012 jungkook didn’t write anything else.
The pages are empty.
After a few pages, Jungkook again started writing again.
–
March 4, 2022
“The day that accident happened”, seeing the date taehyung mumbled.
And looked at the small picture frame on the side table where his parents and law are smiling at him.
He sighs and started reading.
Oh my god bora it’s been a decade. I thought i lost you but no you’re still in my closet. I’m glad that i found you. You know Bora everything has changed between me and tae, he started to avoid me. Not just avoiding, he hates me now. And he told me this many times. It’s been years that I’m in love with him and still couldn’t confess, i didn’t change.
But now you’re here, so i can start writing again. Today a good thing actually happened. Ma and pa just went to see joon hyung’s wedding venue with eomma and appa. Joon hyung is getting married to Jin hyung, can you believe this? Freaking finally. Jin hyung is kind and a very good person. They’ve dated for many years and finally they’re getting married. I’m so excited about it.
So the thing is before leaving, ma and pa asked me if I liked tae or not and i told them i love him not just like him. And guess what! They approved. They really gave me their blessings. Thank god tae was not there. He went ….. Ummm who knows where but he will be back soon. But I’m happy that i found you.
PS.
You know bora, by the time my tae became prettier. He dyed his hair to purple, but he still loves bear ears but i missed his brown hair, it suits him and when he puts his fake bear ears on he really looks like a real baby bear. I wanna nom nom him so badly. But if i tried he would slap me for sure😅😅😅
Reading that taehyung chuckled first and wiped his tears and then he realised his parents approved jungkook.
His parents knew.
Both taehyung and Jungkook liked each other from the beginning.
But they never confessed.
Because taehyung never told anyone about his feelings but today he told namjoon.
Then he turned the page.
March 6, 2022
Eomma and appa are gone bora. It hurts. So hurts. They left me all alone. Ma and pa are also gone. I don’t know how my tae is bearing it. He loves them so much. I wish i could hold him and tell him that I’m here for him. His gukie is always there for him. I wish I’d be the one who can hold him, not joon hyung. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Eomma, appa, ma, pa why you guys leave us like his.
The truck loses balance and….. I can’t write anymore….
I don’t know how to control my feelings.
I cried at home but not in front of others.
Tae was looking broken.
Remaining the memories of that day made taehyung more sad.
But suddenly Taehyung realises the pages are different.
It seems like dry water or…
And Taehyung realised it’s not water but tear drops.
His heart feels a pang.
More tears came from taehyung’s eyes.
How could he forget that Jungkook also lost his parents.
And how he treated him that time.
He wants to die but not now it’s time to fix everything.
He started reading again.
March, 12, 2022
I agreed to marry tae. Because kin-jo is back and he is stalking him. Joon hyung showed me pics and gave me a threatening letter, i gave them to the police commissioner. I’m so afraid because the guy is insane but I’ll protect taehyung no matter what. If this time he had to touch my taehyung, he would have to kill me first. I won’t let anything happen to my love. If he hates me for the rest of his life it’s okay with me, at least he will be safe.
Today taehyung came to my house and shouted at me, he told me to refuse to marry him but i don’t care because I’d like to protect him. I know he will hate me more because of it, but if he hates me for this, then it’s okay with me. At least he will be safe with me.
Joon hyung will take care of that basterd soon.
———–
July 6, 2022
Today we both got married. Me and tae. My tae was looking so pretty in his white wedding suit. And he put the broach i gave him. I’m happy that jimin convinced him. You know when we spoke ‘I Do’ , I could hear tae’s loud heartbeat. I can clearly see his red cheeks and pretty doe eyes.
I know he wasn’t able to hear my rapid heartbeat but i was so nervous. Because I’m his husband now.
But he did stop eating outside. He didn’t even touch the food the chef made. I guess i needed to cook now, I’ll be back okay.
Hey, bora you know tae and i are staying apart. He took my room. I didn’t mind. My everything is his, he can stay anywhere he wants. I can buy a new apartment for him. But i still didn’t know he is mine or not? Though he enjoyed the food i made for him. He really enjoyed it and seeing his smile my pains goes away. Be happy husband. I love you. I wish i could confess. But nevermind…..
After reading taehyung shook his head.
“Idiot i know you gifted me the broach because Jiminie didn’t know what I’m going to wear, only you knew and i love it”, by that taehyung hugged the diary.
“And no i love this house. Ma and pa’s house (jungkook’s parents). I don’t wanna go anywhere else. And idiot I’m yours you’re a mianhae”, by that taehyung pouts.
July 8, 2022
It’s hurting like hell bora. Today tae came back home late, hickys all over in his neck and jaw. He smelled like alcohol and his eyes were bloodshot. He told me about his boyfriend and he got- they got intimate. It hurts bora.
Hurts so badly.
Why you’re doing this to me?
Why?
You hate this much that you……
Am i not enough for you?
You were not like this?
What happened to my tae?
I loved you and you hurt me like this.
And Taehyung remembered the day clearly.
He really went far.
He wanted to make jungkook sad and he did. He loves Jungkook, why would he do that.
“I’m sorry gukie”, taehyung mumbled and tears fell from his eyes.
Sept 10,2022
On my b’day taehyung wished me first. I was happy. But that doesn’t matter anymore, I haven’t even opened his gift yet. I got sick and fell asleep at the office. But you know bora what happened after that?
You wouldn’t believe what happened next.
Yoongi hyung dropped me home and i went inside and there taehyung was waiting for me. I was about to explain but he told me not to speak anything and his voice was scary as hell. He also made porridge for me.
But who told him? Maybe joon hyung, nevermind….
Tae literally ordered me. I thought he didn’t care but he did cared about me. I came to my room and changed my clothes. Then i saw taehyung came and came with the porridge and i tried to hold the spoon. But I wasn’t able to, my hands were shaking but surprisingly he didn’t let me. He fed me carefully. I was looking and peeking at him and glearing his beautiful face, i wanna popo him so bad. When he was feeding me his lips were making pouts. He was careful and the porridge was great too, though it was bitter for my mouth but I hope it was tasty. He added chicken slices too.
After feeding he gave me the meds and told me to sleep and trust me i did. I didn’t remember after anything.
Taehyung giggled.
“Idiot i kissed you. I took the advantage cause in reality i can’t kiss you whenever i want”, taehyung pouts and mumbled.
“Don’t get sick again. I hate seeing you sick”, taehyung pouts.
Sept 15, 2022
We both had a big fight today. And tae left the house and didn’t come home. I fell asleep. Then a bar manager called me and I really had a bad feeling for a second but the bar manager told me he fought for me.
I went there and then i got taehyung. He got hurt on his feet. And when i was driving and coming home he confessed. He told me he loves his gukie and also told me that he is angry because he thought i dated mina and lisa in the middle school.
But the truth is they do proposed but i rejected because i love him only and they lied to him that they dated. I wanna clear the misunderstanding between us. If i did everything between us it would be fine.
But I took advantage of the situation. I kissed him again and again. I didn’t wanna stop. His lips are so soft and pinkish. I always wanted to kiss those lips. And bora you know surprisingly he kissed me back and it was my first kiss and he responded.
It was good but i want to kiss him when he is sober, when we both are sober and with his permission.
But I wasn’t able to hold myself trust me. He is also bouncing on my… You know i was horny that time. But i calm myself down, otherwise…..
But i cried at the end. Because that’s not what I want because he won’t remember.
I wish he would remember those moments.
“I remember everything idiot. I hit that potato because he tried to harm my husband’s company and i have no regrets. I was not drunk that much. I was sober enough. I did it because i want you to confess and you did but i realised my mistakes too. I confessed first because you’re a stupid who didn’t even tell me once that you love me. And i kissed you because I wanted to. You’re my husband and i have full rights. And trust me gukie, I’ll do it again. Just come back for once. I won’t let you go ever again”, Taehyung speaks and his eyes get teary again.
Taehyung turns the pages but it’s all empty.
“He didn’t write anything after that”, taehyung speaks and closes the diary.
And his phone buzzed.
He checked his phone.
It’s Jimin’s message.
He sent pictures of jungkook.
Jimin and jungkook went together and Yoongi was already there.
Looking at those taehyung cried again.
Because he really missed him.
“Tell him i missed him”, by that taehyung sent a text to jimin.
Then Jimin replied again.
“He is missing you crazy. He didn’t know I was clicking his pictures”, by that jimin replied.
“Okay. Please make sure he eats well for me minnie please”, taehyung again sent a text.
“Roger baby bear”, Jimin replied.
“Hey don’t call me that. Only gukie can call me”, taehyung replied.
“Whatever. Bye. I’ve to go now”, jimin replied.
“When you’ll be back you’ll meet with your tae”, taehyung mumbled and smiled at himself.
“I will make everything right. I will love you like the way you want”, taehyung confidently speaks.
But.
A new energy run in his veins. He feels like someone triggers his button.
Taehyung knows how to do it.
&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Hope you’ll are happy with it….
Ignore the mistakes….
Keep commenting…
Love, Alina……
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