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Jeongin bit his lip nervously, clutching the strapes of his bag. he was waiting outside the senior classroom when he heard everyone hushing out. his eyes searched for that special someone, and when he noticed him, his eyes sparkled. he waved and called out, “hyung-nim!”
chan looked at him, his uniform adorned with the badge ‘school captain’.”Oh,hey Innie”.He smiled softly as Jeongin approached him
jeongin smiled brightly as he approached him, his heart rate speeding at the sight of that charming face.
“hi,” he breathed, a slight flush of pink on his cheeks. the younger always felt nervous around chan, despite the amount of times they hung out. “you, uh, finished classes?”
Chan nodded,and stood infront of Jeongin,the height difference now more noticable.”You need a ride home or something?”.Chan asked as he pulled his car keys out his pocket
Jeongin chuckled sheepishly.”Is it a problem?..I missed my bus..”.He asked,a faint blush on his cheeks
“Nah,its no problem at all.C’mon”.Chan answered,clicking a button on his car keys,and unlocking the car that was a few steps away from them
Chan opened the passenger door for Jeongin,watching him climb in,before doing the same.He buckled his seatbelt and put the car in reverse,before driving out the school parking lot.
Jeongin fidgeted with his fingers,picking at the skin around his nails.He wanted to ask something,or more so,say something,but the words kept getting stuck in his throat.Until he finally found the courage and spoke.”Hyung I-…I need to tell you something..”.He spoke in a gentle,slightly shaky voice,and Chan replied with a hum.”So I-…Um..Promise you wont hate me or something..?.He bit his bottom lip,almost tasting blood.
“I could never hate you Innie..So come on,tell me”.Chan said calmly,although he already felt where this conversation was leading to.
“I..I uh….I like you..Like…I-…I have feelings for you..”.Jeongins voice trembled slightly,his head hung low,unable to look at Chan.And god,did he regret ever saying those words.
“Jeongin I…Well..”.Chan broke the silence,in the worse way possible.”Im sorry but,i dont feel the same way.I see you as,a younger brother.Not in any way romantic”.He said,not daring to look at Jeongin,he didnt want to feel more guilty then he already was.
“..I-I..I understand..I didnt expect you to like me back anyway..”.He chuckled bittersweetly,even though he felt like sobbing his heart out right then and there
“Dont take it to heart Innie its just…Youre not old enough…”.Chan didnt know what else to say,so he said the truth.Jeongin had a sweet,and funny personality,he was very cute too but,he was 15,and Chan was 19.
*”Not old enough?!”*.Jeongin felt the conflicted emotions in him.Chan didnt like him because of his age?..Not like it helped but..What was he even thinking?Chan was only saying that to not hurt him even more.He would never like him back,and Jeongin was dumb thinking he would.
Soon,the aggonizing car ride had slowed,and made a stop infront of Jeongins house.Chan looked at him,seeing the sadness etched on the youngers soft features.
Jeongin didnt look at Chan he just opened the car door and stepped out.”See ya at school..”.He mumbled under his chin,and shut the door softly.
Saying Chan felt bad was an understatement,he felt horrible.He saw Jeongin shuffling to his front door,and he saw the younger reach up to wipe his rozy cheeks.
Jeongin walked into his house,not greetting any of his siblings,or parents that were present during his arrival.He stepped into his room closing the door behind him and flopping onto his bed.He felt the tears now soaking into his pillow sheet.Tears were dlowing freely and croaked sobs left him.
“Why was i so dumb..?Dumb,dumb Jeongin..”.He mumbled to himself.He had never felt more humilliated,and hurt in his life,and all because of a stupid age gap.
….But all that was many years ago.Eight years ago to be exact…
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