On Thin Ice 29

I was passing the puck around with Ian when Ryan came over to us and intercepted it.

“Fuck off,” Ian called out.

“Bruins game. My place. Tonight,” Ryan said, hitting the puck toward him. “Be there.”

“Okay,” Ian said with a scoff. “You could’ve just said that instead of being annoying.”

Ryan and I shared amused looks before he skated away, shaking his head.

Ian was especially grumpy today, clearly not in the mood for any interactions other than what we were doing right now. I didn’t mind though because I was hellbent on avoiding Josh since Trevor had told me the truth about them. If Ian being grumpy kept most of the guys away from us, it worked for me.

Since getting to know Ian, I knew he wasn’t much of a talker. And although I had seen him act more light-hearted when it was just me, him, and Fox, he didn’t open up any more when it was just the two of us.

“Are you gonna go tonight?” I asked as we continued passing the puck, waiting for practice to officially start.

Ian shrugged. “I have something else to do.”

I wasn’t going to push him further, not that he would tell me anything more if I had.

After practice, Fox stomped down the hallway in front of me, causing me to have to speed up to catch up with him.

“Why are you being so moody?” I asked Fox, raising my eyebrow in question as we walked down the hall together Friday afternoon.

Practice was short tonight because we were doing a practice and team building activity tomorrow morning. Coach said he didn’t want to overwork us and I wasn’t going to complain about having the afternoon to spend with Fox before we went over to Ryan’s for the game.

“I’m not,” he said with a pout.

I gave him a knowing look as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Fine,” he gave in. “Wren and Robin are coming home this weekend for their winter break.”

“What’s so bad about that?”

“Nothing’s bad about Robin coming home, it’s Wren,” he answered in an annoyed tone.

It wasn’t the first time he had shown me his distaste toward Wren and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious as to why they didn’t get along.

“Why do you have a problem with Wren?” I asked.

“He’s just an ass. He’s hated me since I was born. Literally,” Fox complained. “He’s a know it all punk that always got me in trouble and had to be better than me at everything.”

“You guys have never gotten along?”

“Never,” Fox confirmed. “He’s a narcissist and thinks he’s so smart because he goes to Brown.”

Fox kept a frustrated look on his face as the two of us made our way out to his car.

I didn’t know what to say to him. All I knew was I definitely wasn’t the right person to be giving anyone advice on sibling drama. Fox was more experienced that I was when it came to siblings anyway; he had five of them.

“He’s probably already home,” Fox groaned when we got in the car and he looked at the clock.

“Well, at least we’ll be going to Ryan’s tonight,” I said, trying to make him feel better.

Fox just hummed in agreement as he began driving to his house. When we arrived there, Fox let out a loud sigh, seeing a new car parked in the driveway.

“Wren?” I asked as the two of us got out of the car.

“Unfortunately.”

As soon as we got inside, we were greeted by the whole family in the living room, including a guy I had never seen and could only assume was Robin.

“Fox! Elijah! Come look who’s home!” Vanessa, Fox’s mother, excitedly exclaimed, motioning for us to come further into the house.

“Yeah, yeah. I see them,” Fox grumbled, earning a stern look from his mother.

“You can at least act a little excited to see me,” Robin said to his brother with a grin. “And you could introduce me to your friend.”

“That’s Elijah,” Raven said as she stood next to Robin. “He’s on the team with Fox.”

“Nice to meet you,” Robin kindly greeted me.

“You too,” I replied with a smile.

I looked down at the couch and noticed Wren sat between Colt and Fawn, showing them something on his phone. He hadn’t even looked up to greet his brother, not that Fox would have wanted him to.

“Elijah, would you like to stay for dinner tonight?” Leo asked from beside his wife.

“We’re going to Ryan’s for the B’s,” Fox answered for me.

“Thanks for offering,” I said, elbowing Fox in the side.

“You’re not going to stay to welcome your brothers home?” Vanessa asked with her eyebrows raised.

“They’re home, I welcome them,” Fox said in a bored tone, starting toward the stairs.

“Mom, it’s fine,” Robin said. “We’ll see him tomorrow.”

“Actually, you won’t,” Fox said, stopping at the bottom of the stairs and turning to face his family. “I have hockey tomorrow. You’ll see me Sunday. Maybe.”

Wren scoffed, looking up from his phone for the first time since we had arrived. Fox clenched his jaw and I could tell he was holding back from saying something.

“I’m sure you’ll think of a reason to be out of the house Sunday too,” Wren said, a sarcastic smile on his face. “Hockey’s more important after all.”

“Leave him alone, Wren,” Leo warned his son.

“Let’s go upstairs,” I whispered, lightly pushing Fox.

Fox stomped up the stairs while I followed closely behind him and the two of us went down the hall into his room. He threw his hockey bag down in the corner, pulling on his hair as I tightly shut the door behind us. Then he threw himself down onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

“You good?” I asked him.

Fox turned his head to face me. “Come here.”

I made my way over to the bed for Fox to pull me down on top of him so that I was straddling his waist.

“Do you see why I hate him?” he asked, resting his hands on my thighs.

I hummed in agreement, smiling down at him. “Do you need me to distract you?”

A smirk instantly overtook his face. “Yes please.”

That was all he had to say for my lips to grab his in a kiss. We made out for quite a while, Fox’s tongue finding its way into my mouth. My hands were on his chest while his grabbed my hips and backside.

“Elijah,” Fox said, his lips brushing over mine as he said my name.

“Hm?” I hummed as I kept kissing him.

“Be with me,” he said, pulling away.

I sat up on his lap, my eyes wide.

“What?”

“Be with me,” he said again, stating straight into my eyes.

I let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling.

“Fox, I–” I sighed again.

I couldn’t do this. Words couldn’t describe how much I wanted to be able to just be with Fox, but it wasn’t that simple. I wasn’t ready and neither was he.

“I can’t,” I said looking back at him. “I can’t do the whole secret relationship thing.”

It was different than what we were doing now, just being friends with some benefits. This wasn’t a commitment and it didn’t cause me to have to sneak around. Nobody had to know about this, but an actual relationship was much different. That would be something I wasn’t willing to hide.

“And I can’t come out,” Fox said with a sullen sigh.

“I don’t want you to come out for me,” I told him. “If you do it I want it to be for you.”

“I can’t do that,” Fox said, sitting up and causing me to get off his lap to sit beside him.

“I mean, you technically could,” I told him and he looked at me like I was crazy. “What? Your family would be cool with it. So would the guys.”

Fox scoffed, shaking his head. “The guys wouldn’t take me seriously anymore.”

I squinted at him and put some distance between us.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t seriously think the team would take me seriously if they found out, do you?” he asked in an almost snarky tone. “Or colleges?”

I stood up from the bed and crossed my arms over my chest.

“So you think none of them take me seriously? You don’t take me seriously?”

Fox rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

“That’s exactly what you’re saying.”

My voice was sharp as anger and irritation flooded my body.

“No–”

“You think that gay people in sports aren’t taken seriously,” I said, my voice rising.

“No, I’m saying that I wouldn’t be taken seriously,” he argued, standing up from the bed. “I’m supposed to lead the team. They have to respect me.”

“You think they wouldn’t respect you because you’re gay?”

“I’m just being honest, Elijah,” he said with a hard expression. “You of all people should know how they can be.”

“Yeah and it fucking sucks because apparently I’m not respected or taken seriously,” I spat, moving toward the door.

“That’s not what I’m saying!”

He beat me to the door, standing in front of it so I couldn’t get out.

“It’s just–” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “It’s harder to get taken seriously when you’re out. There is so much more against you.”

“You don’t think I know that?” I snapped. “But our team already respects you and this wouldn’t change that.”

“I can’t do it,” Fox said, shaking his head.

“I’m not asking you to,” I told him in a hard tone. “But did you think I’d be okay with being your dirty little secret?”

“That’s not–”

“I like you, Fox,” I admitted with a sigh. “And this isn’t an ultimatum, but I can’t do this. It’d feel like going back in the closet.”

He looked at me with a shocked expression.

“You’re telling me you want everyone to know about us?”

I glared at him. “I’m saying I won’t be a secret for you.”

“Fine,” Fox snapped. “Then I guess we’re done with this.” He motioned between the two of us.

By the look on his face I could tell he was turning back into the cold version of him, the one that hated me at the beginning of the year.

I didn’t answer him as I pulled the door open, hitting him with it. I stormed out of the room and was a little discouraged when I realized he wasn’t following me.

“Going so soon?” Wren’s voice asked from behind me as I made it to the front door.

I turned to face him, noticing we were the only two in the hallway.

“Something came up,” I said in a low tone.

Wren only smiled and didn’t say anything as I turned around and left the house, calling Josh as I did so.

“Yeah?” Josh answered the phone.

“I need you to pick me up,” I told him as I stomped down the sidewalk.

“I thought you were at Fox’s,” he said.

“I was and now I’m not,” I said in an agitated tone. “Please come get me.”

“Fox can’t drive you?”

“Josh,” I said with a sigh.

“Alright, alright,” he answered before hanging up.

My fight with Fox was the only thing I could focus on as I walked down the sidewalk. I wanted to be with him, I knew that much, but I couldn’t hide for him. Not when I was finally getting more comfortable in my own skin.

It didn’t take long for Josh to meet up with me with a puzzled expression on his face.

“Why were you walking?” he asked once I was in the car.

All I had to do was give him a look for him to know I didn’t want to talk about it. We were silent the whole way home and I could tell Josh was irritated with me.

“Did something happen with Fox?” Josh asked as soon as we got in the house.

“I’m not talking about it,” I answered, moving toward the stairs.

“I warned you,” Josh called out, causing me to stop and look at him. “I told you not to get yourself hurt with him.”

“Shut up, Josh,” I spat as he came closer to me. “I never asked you to warn me or look out for me so just shut up.”

“No but I have to look out for you,” he argued. “You think Dan would be okay with it if I just let shit happen to you?”

I just scoffed and didn’t say anything. My anger had distracted me from what I had found out about Josh from Trevor earlier, but now that I was face to face with him it was all I could think about.

“You can act like you’re my savior or whatever but you lied to me the other day,” I angrily told him.

“What the hell did I lie to you about?” Josh asked in an almost mocking tone.

“Trevor,” I said. “He told me what happened with you two because I wanted to see if he’d let you apologize and he thought you told me the whole truth.”

A look of realization washed over Josh’s face.

“I know you two kis–”

“Shut up!” Josh sharply cut me off, a look of anger on his face. “You should’ve never done that! You don’t need to be butting into my life!”

I scoffed. “You mean like how you’re always butting into mine?”

“That’s not the same,” Josh replied in a low tone, shaking his head with dark eyes.

“You’re right because I didn’t mean to do it, but you just breathe down my neck for fun,” I spat, crossing my arms.

“You think I want to do that? I have to!” Josh shouted. “If I didn’t look out for you, you wouldn’t survive here.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means the team would have never been okay with you being here. I’ve had to put you over the rest of the team to make sure no one messed with you.”

My jaw was tensely set as Josh appeared to get more and more irritated by the second. Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth as I thought about what he said. My anger dwindled and I was now facing a different emotion.

“And all you’ve done is complain about it ever since you got here!” Josh continued. “I had to start sharing my life with you all of a sudden! Don’t you think it’s been hard for me too?”

“I never said–” I started, my voice quiet and shaky.

“You came here and everything changed,” Josh cut me off.

A burning sensation started in my eyes as my throat dried up. I knew I had ruined this family the second I moved in. It was one thing to inherently know it, but it was another to hear it out loud.

“Not only that but it’s like you don’t even want to be here,” Josh continued. “Maybe you should’ve just stayed with your mother until college.”

Tears welled in my eyes at the gut wrenching pain of feeling so pathetic.

“And stay in the closet?” I choked out.

“You don’t even want to be here,” he reminded me.

“It’s not like I can go anywhere else, Josh,” I said, my voice cracking. “But don’t worry, you only have to deal with me until the end of the school year and then I’ll be gone.”

Josh didn’t say anything as I turned around and ran up the stairs to my room.

The day had started so normal but in the matter of an hour I was back to having no one but myself.

**

Hello everyone thank you for reading.

What did you think about meeting Robin and the interactions with Wren? How do you feel about Wren? What about what happened with Fox and Elijah? Do you understand each of their point of views? And Elijah’s fight with Josh?

Let me know!

Also I just started drafting a new story using a new outline method so we’ll see how that goes not sure if it will work for me yet.