January 7th, Thursday
2021
1:07PM
No notifications.
Landon wakes up, sore, confused, and with both an itchy throat and a horrible headache. He drowsily feels around for his glasses, picking up his bracelet instead. Distraught, he forcefully attempts to place it on his nightstand, misses, and drops it on the floor. He groans. It was quiet for once in his life. He didn’t have to worry about responding to someone’s panicked text or pointless questions, but he didn’t wake up to any answers himself. Locating his glasses, he gets up and shuffles to his doorframe. He doesn’t bother taking his phone with him. Sunlight shone through the window in the kitchen, and Carlos’ room door laid open with his chaotic room in view. The living room looked about the same as it did last night, only slightly less cold and dark. He looks around, listening for any sign of his roommate, but all that fills his ears are the coos of mourning doves. He goes back to his bed.
“How’re you holding up?” A calm, serene voice asks.
Rodger looks over to her from his floor. He’d been re-raveling some of her yarn whilst watching a movie.
“I’m okay. This isn’t that hard.”
She giggles, “That’s not what I meant, silly. I feel like you’ve been avoiding me asking; how was the party?”
His ears perk up. That’s an odd question to have to answer in his shoes. It was fun meeting new people, being seen as an equal amongst them, but at the end of the night—the reason why he was late home—that was its own ordeal.
“..It was good. I had fun.”
“Oh, c’mon. Gimme the details, I wanna know what you did, who you met.”
“W-Well… I just.. stuck around my friend the whole time… a-and his friends, too.”
He tried skipping over the part where the friend group fell apart just as he’d joined it, but his shaky tone and lack of detail were enough to make Val question him more.
“Did something happen? You sound… off, Rodg’.”
He looks her in the eyes as she crouches down to sit with him.
“I dunno. I-I just had to drive my friend home is all. Him and his roommate got pretty wasted, I guess.”
They sit next to each other for a moment, both staring at the movie and enjoying the other’s company in silence.
“Did you find someone you fancy~?” She teased.
Rodger gives her an annoyed glare, but doesn’t respond.
“Ooh, you totally did~! I can see it in your eyes, who’s the lucky guy?”
“Valerie…”
“Aw—okay, okay! I won’t push…”
“There is no pushing, I just hung out with my friends.”
Friends, he thought. Many, many friends. He smiles to himself, and Valerie takes notice of him. She pinches his shoulder playfully as she gets up.
“Alright, I’ll leave you to it.”
She leaves his room. Rodger looks over at his phone, opening it and looking over his messages with Landon. He debates typing in a message to check on him, for worry he just wants to be alone. Regardless, he begins typing.
—
→ I’m sorry
→ Please Bri I’m sorry
→ For whatever I did
→ Please
→ Don’t ignore me please just talk to me
→ I need you
→ I love you so much, please
…
[Happy birthday. Please don’t text me so frantically. I’ll explain everything when I find the words, I promise.]
→ Does that mean we’re back on?
[No Landon. Give me some time, go enjoy your birthday.]
He puts his phone face down on his bed. Shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. In fact, he shouldn’t have even texted. He holds back tears of anger—though, he’s not even sure why he’s aggravated. The front door clicks open again, and he hears a voice calling.
“I’m home, got food!”
Landon doesn’t move from his bed, but hears a hand grab onto his doorframe. Carlos stands there, staring at him.
“C’mon, Landon. Could you at least go eat? Or.. go shower..? You didn’t even change outta your clothes from yesterday…”
Landon groans. Carlos eyes Landon’s phone, going over and picking it up, and Landon doesn’t stop him.
“…Lando’, you can’t spend your whole life waiting for a response.”
“urghnn..”
“I’m serious. You should be enjoying your birthday, Brielle can’t be your whole focus—”
“But she was!” He whines, “And—And now.. now she can’t be. She “Can’t be my everything,” but she was.” He made air quotes as he spoke.
Carlos just looks over at him sorrowfully.
“Listen, I.. I know it probably hurts a bunch right now,” he places his hand on Landon’s shoulder, “But you need to look after yourself, too. You can’t keep weighing on the past.”
“… She was everything I needed…”
Now, Landon began crying to Carlos instead of just whining. Carlos just pats him on the back in reassurance.
“She was my past, present, and future.. but now? Now, I just want the world to stop moving… I want to lie down and act like I never had a future.”
“.. The world will keep spinning, Landon. I-I’ll do my best to help you, okay?”
His eyes almost lit up, “What? Are you gonna talk to Bri for me?”
“No. You need to move on from her—you needa look at everything and everyone else you have instead.”
Landon’s expression shifts from expectant to a plain confusion.
“Wanna celebrate? I’ll get a cake, if you want. Nothing big.”
As Carlos looked over for a response, Landon had buried his face in his pillow. He was slightly groaning. Carlos props Landon’s phone against his head, causing him to look up.
“mmfffiiiine…”
“Alright. Get up, clean yourself up. And check your phone, you got new messages.”
Groggily, Landon checks his phone. Brielle hadn’t said anything new to him, he could hardly stand to stare at her messages. As he checks, he notices a new pop up in his notifications—Rodger, asking if he’d been okay since yesterday’s events. Landon almost didn’t answer and just wanted to fall back asleep, but he reluctantly opened the messages.
[how are you holding up after everything ?]
[im sorry , please rest well .]
→ Im fine, thanks rodger
→ thanks for the ride home yesterday, too
→ I seriously owe you, don’t I
[nonsense , id just prefer you feel better . happy birthday Landon : )]
→ Thank you
Landon sets his phone down on his nightstand and takes a deep breath in, exhaling slowly. He arises from his bed and goes to go prepare for a shower.
Sitting in her living room, alone, laid Brielle. She was watching an older romance TV show, covering herself with a fluffy blanket. Watching made her heart ache, seeing the two actors being so close and intimate. It made her yearn for him, for Landon. She kept convincing herself that it’d been for the best, but in truth, she missed him just as much as he missed her. Yet she couldn’t provide him with the answers he desired; the answers he deserved. It was one of those crazy things she’d done out on a whim, how she felt in the moment—yet something told her this was still how it was supposed to be—they both needed this.
How could she word her feelings if they, themselves, were irrational? How could she phrase her actions without creating some pitiful excuse? How could she let Landon know that she wanted what was best for him, and that it wasn’t her? She knew—knew that he was lost, lost with her, with their friends—but that he’d go through it all as a means of appealing to them, making his goofy, lovable presence known. That he’d be there for them. That’s what made him so charming to her, he was so charismatic. Absent-mindedly, she felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she turned off the TV.
A phone rings. A masculine voice is on the other side.
[Who’s this?]
“…Liam?!”
[Bri? Why is your contact saved as a location!?]
“Where—Why do you have Tracy’s phone?! Where is she?”
[Out—Here, hold on..]
Muffled, awkward walking is heard through silence. Brielle holds a mixed embarrassed expression.
The voice switches.
[Mmm ‘yello?]
“Tracy, last night, I told you how Landon and I’s relationship was strained, right?”
[Yeah, you yelled at me. It hurt my ego, truly. Continue.]
“H..How would you phrase that? To, like, explain to him?”
[Probably like how you just did.]
“I’m conflicted, it just… none of it sounds right to me.”
[None of your relationships sound right to me, but hey, at least this time you’re not butchering his name or anything.]
“What do I do..?”
[Bri, I don’t know. I hardly know the guy. If you loved him so much, I’m sure you’ll find the answers.
He wasn’t my boyfriend.]
There is a momentary silence.
“..I’ll talk to you later.”
[Alright, love you bye-bye!]
The phone beeps a blank farewell itself. Brielle rests her head on her couch pillow in an attempt to collect her thoughts, snuggling up to her blanket and trying not to picture her lover keeping her warm instead.
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