“Hi Irin..”
we’re eating here at the canteen and Tee aproach her
“Hello..”
my eyes widened akala ko ba maldita toh, I grin at her and she’s ignoring me
“Oh haha ahmm can I get your number?” Tee ask her
wow
lakas ng loob nito ah
Irin write her number in a piece of paper and gave it to Tee
“text me first if you want to call.” Irin said
Tee was smiling cheeks to cheeks before she leave us
“Hmm are you a lesbian too?”
her smile fade away
“I’m a girl.. I just really like them, you know.. they are good at..”
she looked at my eyes
I know what is she trying to say, pinamulahan ako ng mukha
“You already have one before?” I ask
“Hmm yes in manila I have alot of flings and some of them are lesbians.. how about you.? sa Singapore ba wala ka pang naka sex-hmmp.”
tumingin ako sa paligid at mukhang wala namang nakarinig
“Ano kaba naman Irin..” pagalit na saway ko
she chuckled
“What? I’m just asking you..if you don’t answer me I’m gonna repeat my question..”
I shook my head
“I’m not allowed to have one–“
“NOT ALLOWED?”
Napafacepalm nalang ako
“Hays change topic..”
“No, Becca, if you want to explore, you need to hide it from your parents, duh.. how old are you now?”
“17 and a half..”
“See.. alam mo ba bakit hindi ka pinapayagan mag boyfriend.?”
“I need to finish my studies first because I might get pregnant, pag alam mo na.. baka madisgrasya..”
“shocks wala kang happy time?”
“happy time?”
I frowned
“If you’re afraid of boys, why not girls?”
halos malunon ko yung broccoli na sinubo ko
*cough
“you know what? 80% of girls are bisexual? the 20% of it pwede pang mabaliko..”
“Sinong may sabi sayo?.”
“hmm sa internet? I forgot where, maybe just someone told me.”
I sighed
ano ba tong topic namin
“Girls are focusing on foreplay kaya mas masarap..”
I cover my both ears using my hand ako na talaga yung nahihiya para sakanya
“Irin tama na..”
I remembered what happened last week when Freen buried her face in my neck, and it gave me goosebumps.
I shook my head
that bitch
simula nun iniiwasan ko na sya
“is she a lesbian?”
“who?”
lumaki mata ko dahil sa lumabas sa bibig ko, nasa isip ko lang dapat yun
umiling ako and Irin examining my face
“someone bully me..” I changed the topic kaysa naman umabot pa kahit saan ang usapan
I want to open up kahit kay Irin nalang
napaseryoso ang mukha nya bigla
“who?”
“my classmate, her name is freen, kinulong nya ako sa room dun sa 4th floor and tied me there.”
“holy fuck? we should report it to the principal-“
“No, if my father will know about this? he probably send me back in Singapore.”
“Oh my god becca this is a serious thing what if ulitin yun sayo?”
“Kasalanan ko naman dahil sabi nya off limit yung floor na yun tapos bumalik parin ako.”
“she hurt you?”
“she pushed me when I slap her..”
“Maybe they are just insecure, you’re the most beautiful girl here in our school, at kabilang nako dun.”
natawa ako bigla, langya talaga naisingit nya pa yun
“dapat hindi ka paapi, bawian mo..hay naku becca patricia masyado kang mahina..”
tumingin ako sa malaking bintana ng canteen at ang ganda ng tanawin sa labas
_________
“Okay jump 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 2, 1,.”
Our PE teacher was checking if everybodys jumping properly
“Freen jump properly..” our teacher said
our eyes met when I look at her and she rolled her eyes on me
wala parin akong nagiging kaibigan bukod kay Irin dito sa school
“Maybe they are just insecure, you’re the most beautiful girl here in our school, at kabilang nako dun.”
natawa ako ng maalala ko yung sinabi ni Irin nung kwinento ko sakanya lahat pati yung pang bubully ni freen sakin
“dapat hindi ka paapi, bawian mo..hay naku becca patricia masyado kang mahina..”
bumabaha na kami ng pawis ng matapos ang P.E.
at nag kanya kanya na kaming paraan para magpalamig
freen was going somewhere and I followed her
Sa CR lang pala sya pupunta sa may dulo malapit sa Gym
tama kaya tong gagawin ko?
hays feeling ko napaka bad influence ni Irin ang dami nyang itinuturo na kalokohan sakin
wala na masyadong estudyante dito banda
pumasok si freen sa may CR at isinara ang pinto, Nakita ko pang isinampay nya pa ang damit nya sa may pinto ng Cr
naglakad ako ng dahan dahan at inilock ang pinto medyo matigas pa yun kaya nataranta ako and the lock click
biglang nagkalabog sa loob
“hoy gago..” she slam the door
I don’t know why I felt relieve
“hoy sino ka? gago buksan mo ang pinto..”
she kept hitting the door tawang tawa pa ako
“Ayoko dito..” she yelled and kick the door forcedly
tatakbo na sana ako ng sumigaw sya ulit..
“Buksan mo, hindi ako makahinga..”
tumingin ako ulit sa Cr at huminto na itong sumigaw
“Please buksan mo toh.” she whispered
hindi kaya …
baka may phobia sya or what…hindi sya makahinga?
wala ring ilaw sa loob
this is wrong becca do something, my body is trembling, nakonsensya ako bigla
tinakbo ko na yung pinto at sinubukang buksan, inikot ko yung doorknob pero hindi mabuksan
“hey freen are you okay?” I slam my hand on the door
“please..buksan mo..hindi nako makahinga..”
I heard her and my tear drop in my eyes
“I’m so sorry..” iyak ko
she’s breathing heavily I can hear it
“HELP.. PLEASE HELP..”
Tumakbo ako papuntang gym at nagulat ang lahat dahil sa pag iyak ko
“Tulungan nyo ko..”
“what happened Ms. Armstrong?” the teacher ask me, paalis na sana sya
Tinuro ko yung dulo sa may likod
“Freen was trap.. hindi po mabuksan yung pinto ng CR..”
*thud
napalingon ako sa likod and nam slam her water bottle at the floor and run immediately
“she has claustrophobia.” Tee whispered
our teacher called the maintenance of the school immediately
tumakbo lahat ng studyante sa may Cr habang ang maintenance ay inoopen ang pinto
This is all my fault.. I shouldn’t done that
when the guy finally open the door freen is already sitting on the floor, she’s unconscious
napatakip ako sa bibig ko
our teacher lift her up and carry her
________
“Ano kaba naman becca bakit ka makokonsensya? mas grabi kaya ang ginawa nya sayo..”
nakadapa ako sa kama ko at sinisisi ang sarili sa nangyari
Okay na kaya sya?
Irin is in my room doing her assignments
gusto pa ngang mag patulong kaso hindi naman kami mag classmate.. sya ang nakinig sa lesson ng teacher
“I felt so bad Irin.. hindi ko dapat ginawa yun..”
“Hay nako becca patricia napaka bait mo pwede kanang mag pare..”
“babae ako Irin..”
“mag madre I mean..”
tumawa sya at nahawa naman ako.
we spend time talking and watching movies, wala daw mommy nya sakanila ngayon at nung nalaman ng mommy nya na ako yung kaibagan nya eh ang sabi kahit hindi na daw sya umuwi
napa iling nalang ako
_
“You need to create a 3D art for your practical exam this prelim.. anything you can make, robot, buildings or gadgets, the deadline is on friday just put your work on my office with your name on it “
My science teacher was instructing at the front but my eyes is on freen, she’s sleeping again
I wanted to say sorry
natapos ang klase at dumaretso si freen sa 4th floor
susundan ko ba sya?
she already warned me that the 4th floor is off limit, pero gusto ko talagang mag sorry
I take a deep breath
bahala na
I’m wearing a fitted black pants with black rubber shoes at naka white floral blouse then itinali ang buhok
naglakad ako ng marahan sa hallway at hinanap sya
“Freen..” I called her
sa dulo ay may nakita akong usok malamang sya na yun
tinakbo ko na yung hallway at pumunta sa dulo
ng marating ko yung dulo ay nakita ko yung sigarilyo na kakapatay lang na nakapatong sa railings
wait…
where is she?
“Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo.”
I heard her at my back, I turned around at sinugod nya ko agad
she grip the collar of my blouse tightly at isinandig ako semento
“ah-I just want to say sorry.” takot na tugon ko
“Ikaw? IKAW ANG MAY PAKANA KUNG BAKIT AKO NAKULONG DUN?” Her voice thundered
“I I I’m sorry, I shouldn’t done that.”
she grip on my collar so tight pushing me more and almost choke me
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?..” Pikon na sigaw nya
I pushed her but she’s too strong at lalo nya lang akong idinidiin sa semento
“CAUSE YOU MADE ME DO IT.. YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO HURT ME THAT WAY…” I cried again and I hate it my heart is on fire
“Hurt you?”
“Oo, kinulong mo ko, I cried for help but you ignore it and still locked me here, no one treated me the way you treated me that day, you’re evil, I hate you..”
“Tss..we’re even now, I hate you too..” she said coldly
she pulled me tightly and was about to push me inside the room but I kick her legs kaya napaluhod sya
I run to the hallway and she’s following me
“you’ll regret coming here again.” she yelled
“wahhh help..”
she’s a runner
what the hell? mas nauna pa sya sakin
“HOOY MAY MGA ESTUDYANTE BA DYAN?” Sigaw ng guard
kaya napalingon kami sa may hagdan
freen looked at me and put her finger in her mouth
“shhh”
naririnig na namin yung guard na papaakyat kaya tumakbo kami pabalik pareho
“Hurry..” I whispered to freen
pumasok kami sa room kung saan ako ikinulong ni freen
we closed the door slowly
“MAY TAO BA DYAN?”
“Freen patay tayo nito.”
“Shh ang ingay mo.”
iniilawan pa ng guard yung mga rooms
we crawled under the teachers desk at pinagkasya ang sarili sa ilalim
nagulat ako ng napahawak si freen sa braso ko, shes like panicking
“Freen..”
she closed her eyes tightly
‘she has claustrophobia.’ Tee said
I remembered what tee said, I held her both hands and blowing her knuckles
“Freen it’s okay, just breathe, you’re with me..”
my thumb caressing her knuckles
kumakalma na sya paunti unti..
hays ang salbais nito ang hina naman pala, tsk³
______
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