Random Kny One Shots [Requests Closed] I love you; I don’t pt.2 | {SaneGiyuu}

Theme: Fluff+Angst

Note: uhh cw death 

a little uzusane friendship 

Tags: @MistakeOfTheFamily

×××

Previously: 

Giyuu didn’t look back, pressing a hand to his mouth to stop a sob that threatened to spill out. He should’ve expected this. There was no way in hell Sanemi would’ve stayed in love after years, it was a miracle he’d loved him in the first place. Of course.

×××

Sanemi visited after a couple days. He had sent no warning letter—because he couldn’t write coherently yet—and simply arrived at Giyuu’s door. 

Giyuu had opened it and then proceeded to lead a couple minutes of a staring contest in which they both blinked several times before regaining his composure and letting him in.

“What’re you doing here, Shinazugawa?” Giyuu asked. He shifted his hair to cover his cheeks which burned red with embarrassment. Their last encounter hadn’t been quite so successful and he had a hunch that that was exactly why Sanemi was here.

“Are you alright, Tomioka? I’m sorry about last time,” Sanemi said, though his gaze was tracing around Giyuu’s house. It hit him then that he’d never actually been inside here before. He’d only known the address but never wondered about what Giyuu might look like doing idle things.

“Sorry?” Giyuu frowned. “I should be sorry. I ran away like a child, I’m sorry.”

Sanemi shook his head. “That was… reasonable.”

“Well, what you said was also.” 

“Right. I still shot you down, though,” Sanemi said pointedly.

“Didn’t I do that to you too?” Giyuu asked. It wasn’t Sanemi’s fault, it was his own. 

Sanemi’s lips quirked in a smile. “Then we can call ourselves even, no?”

“…fine.”

A moment of silence.

Giyuu watched as Sanemi took in their surroundings. 

“Do you want some tea?” he offered.

Sanemi nodded slowly. “Sure. Although something cooler would be nice. The weather’s insanely hot.”

Giyuu nodded back. “Okay.” He walked down the hall, turning to the kitchen. “…cold tea?”

Sanemi followed him, rolling his eyes. “Whatever is fine.”

“Alright.” He supplied the two cups of ‘cold tea,’ dropping several ice cubes in them.

Sanemi took the cup he was offered, taking a sip. “So…?”

Giyuu tilted his head. “Hm?”

“Are you alright? You never answered my question,” Sanemi said, leaning against the wall.

“Oh. I’m… fine.” Giyuu considered the question again. “I’ll be fine.”

Sanemi let out a breath. “If you need anything, we can talk.”

“I didn’t know you were so considerate.”

“…well I can be if I want to.” 

Giyuu cocked his head to the side. “You want to be, now?”

Sanemi shrugged. “Isn’t it my fault you ran away crying?”

“That’s mine.”

“Yeah, well, I haven’t seen you cry in my whole life.” 

Giyuu dipped his head down. “I used to be more… emotional? I don’t know. I let down my guard, so it’s my fault.”

Sanemi put his cup down. “Let your guard down more, then. There’s no demons fucking with us anymore, you don’t have to be on constant watch.”

“It’s more like a habit now,” Giyuu murmured.

“I know. So try letting go of it.”

“I can try.”

Sanemi smiled. His smile was gentle and so… unlike him. Giyuu’s cheeks were brushed pink and he forced himself to look away.

“Good,” Sanemi said. “Anyway, this tea doesn’t go good cold. I’ll be going now. See you later.”

Giyuu nodded. “See you later.”

×××

To his surprise—which, according to Sanemi, shouldn’t have been a surprise—they became friends. Nothing else, as muh as Giyuu longed for it. But it was nice. Sanemi would come over sometimes, or vise versa, and they would talk. Like they were normal people on a normal day. And he loved seeing into Sanemi’s character. It was a change, for the better. Sanemi was much more open with him—as Giyuu was as well—and it was interesting to see how different he was when he could be relaxed. He smiled genuinely a lot more, too. And, despite himself, Giyuu found that he couldn’t let go of his love for Sanemi. He loved him; he did. He couldn’t stop it. He didn’t try to, anymore. Best let it fade out.

It didn’t fade, however. Though it wasn’t much of a burden. It just made him love spending time with Sanemi more. Receiving letters in broken Japanese asking him if he wanted to come over. It was like falling in love all over again.  He didn’t mind. It was a wonderful feeling, in other perspectives. It made him happy.

Time droned on.

Four years had passed since Muzan had died. Four years, already. He didn’t know what to think about how much time had passed. He was unwilling to think about it.

It was his birthday tomorrow. He prepared.

×××

He wrote letters to the Uzui’s. He wrote some to the Kamado’s—and shorter ones to their friends, whom he didn’t know well. He wrote one to the Butterfly mansion—Aoi. To Kiriya and the other two Ubuyashiki’s. To the Rengoku’s, Urokodaki. He had them all stacked up neatly, tied together and placed by a crow. Kanzaburou was far too old to be carrying anything now, so he had put a different crow to the task of delivering the letters.

Then there was one.

He had hesitated before sending Sanemi a letter. He didn’t know what he would say. In the end, he simply invited him over. He was sure that none of the others knew of his birthday. In the previous years, he had simply said, vaguely, that his birthday was in February. They brought him gifts in the beginning of February. They had done it this year, as well. When they asked about the timeline, though, he brushed it off. He told them that his birthday was later in February, that they needn’t worry. He would tell them. And he would. Only… after.

Sanemi arrived at his house late in the afternoon of his birthday. He didn’t know that Giyuu would die today—he couldn’t, right? He had with him a package. He placed it on the table in front of Giyuu, sitting down across from him.

“Happy birthday,” Sanemi said, leaning onto the table. “Forgot to give you something when the others did.”

Giyuu tilted his head, smiling slightly at him. “Thank you.” He struggled to untie the cloth and Sanemi reached over to help him.

Inside, there was a photo album. It was pretty, looking homemade and adorned with cut-out photos of Giyuu. He opened it and found pictures slipped inside it. Pictures from the past four years. With everyone. He turned the pages, a bittersweet smile curving his lips as he gazed at the photographs. He paused at one, his eyes tracing the picture. It was of him and Sanemi, eating. At that time, Tengen had taken the picture. Claiming they looked like best friends and wondering what they would’ve said about this in the past.

He looked up at Sanemi whose eyes were averted, embarrassed.

 “Thank you,” he repeated. “I… love this.”

Sanemi looked up, offering him a shy smile. “That’s good. I was going to keep it blank but… you wouldn’t have time to fill it. So I went to Uzui and took all the pictures he’d taken. Had them printed, et cetera.” 

Giyuu nodded. “I really appreciate it, Shinazugawa. I… Yeah. Thank you. Thanks.”

“You keep saying that. But, uh, you’re welcome,” Sanemi said, dipping his head down.

Giyuu laughed softly. “I don’t know what to say. It’s great.”

“Then hopefully you’ll enjoy it till the end.”

“I will.”

×××

Night came. Giyuu urged Sanemi to stay, setting up another futon for him. There weren’t any other rooms and it was February; too cold to sleep on the porch or elsewhere. So the extra futon was placed in Giyuu’s room.

Time came for when they would sleep. Giyuu lay, staring up at the cealing. He hadn’t told anyone but lately, he’d been losing a significant amount of weight and blood. And lately, as in, in the last week. He was thankful to not have gotten another spasm of coughing in front of Sanemi, but he knew it was only bound to come. And it did. Blood had come with it, dotting his clothing red.

Sanemi must’ve been awake for he was at Giyuu’s side in an instant. It was dark, but the red was a large contrast to the white of Giyuu’s clothing and he must’ve seen it. “Tomioka? What happened? Are you okay?”

Giyuu answered by doubling over, the metallic taste of blood going sour on his tongue. When he looked up, he realized Sanemi had scooped him up in his arms. 

Sanemi’s eyebrows were furrowed in concern and he frowned. He seemed to be thinking. Understanding.

Giyuu coughed against, moving his arm up to cover his mouth so he wouldn’t get blood on Sanemi. 

“Tomioka,” Sanemi said suddenly, once Giyuu’s coughing has stopped.

It was close to midnight. The two had stayed up quite late talking, only getting into the beds around 11 pm.

“Tomioka, when is your birthday?” Sanemi’s voice was tight. His eyes were focused solely on Giyuu’s. “When is your birthday?” he repeated.

Giyuu bit his lip, wincing. It hurt to breathe. “Today.”

“Today as in… as in the eighth? Or today as in… the ninth. Tomorrow?” 

“Eight…th. Eighth,” Giyuu mumbled, he closed his eyes.

“…what. Tomioka—why the- Why the fuck did you not tell anyone?! What the hell is— Oh my god- I knew something was—” Sanemi was stumbling over his words, cutting himself off. “No. No, why today? I didn’t- Does anyone else—?”

Giyuu shook his head slowly. “No one else knows. I think. I didn’t want them too. I invited you over because…” He paused. His breathing was heavy. He was struggling to breathe in. His lungs hurt and strained as if he’d been running for hours. “Shinazugawa…. Shinazugawa, I still like you—I lo-“

He coughed, no longer trying to cover his mouth. Blood dripped from his lips, coating them a deeper red than they’d ever been. 

“Tomioka, I’ll take you to Aoi’s,” Sanemi mumbled, rocking back on his heels. He felt weak. Giyuu was light, however. Lighter than he should be. He started to stand.

“No. No—it won’t work, you know it won’t work, leave-” Giyuu sucked in a shaky breath. “Leave me here. Shinazugawa. Shinazugawa—I love you, okay? I don’t care that you don’t like me back but I needed you to know this before I died.”

Sanemi shook his head. “No. No, you’re not dying now. Maybe Aoi can figure something out. I’ll figure something out. You’re not dying in my fucking arms, Tomioka. I won’t fucking let you.” His voice became desperate. 

Giyuu was vaguely skeptical. Why did Sanemi care so much? “Then put me down, Shinazugawa,” he said quietly. It was taking all his strength to talk. He couldn’t afford losing his last precious moments. 

“No, I won’t, I won’t,” Sanemi insisted, clutching him tighter.

Giyuu’s eyes fluttered open. He caught Sanemi’s panicking gaze. “I… appreciate you being my friend, Shinazugawa. Thank you for the last years, you truly made them… wonderful.” 

Sanemi blinked rapidly. “No, no, I- …I liked being your friend too,” he mumbled. He seemed to have given up. 

Ah. That was it. Giyuu nodded slowly, a small smile forming on his lips despite the pain stabbing his lungs. “I’m glad… glad you did too. I enjoyed every moment with… with you. This included.”

He figured, then, that Sanemi was acting like this in his form of friendship. Sanemi cared for him—though perhaps not romantically anymore. But he cared. He had liked being his friend. That was good. Giyuu was glad.

“Thank you,” Giyuu repeated. 

Sanemi was quiet, leaning his forehead down against the pale palor of Giyuu’s. “You should’ve told me it was today,” he whispered. 

“I couldn’t,” Giyuu mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Sanemi said. “I-“

He hesitated. And that was all it took.

In the small moment he paused, Giyuu’s breath shortened. He was barely breathing. And then he was not. 

There was a moment in which Sanemi vaguely registered this. He didn’t understand it for a moment. Only that the ragged breathing of the man in his arms had stopped filling the silent room. Then it hit him and he struggled to keep himself up, his arms tightening around Giyuu’s still-warm body. The warmth would fade soon as Giyuu’s blood stopped pumping through his body.

A silent sob ripped through Sanemi’s throat and he realized he was crying. His shoulders shook and he bent his head down, tucking his chin against his chest. He hadn’t gotten to say it. 

He didn’t know how long he sat like that, almost motionless, clutching onto Giyuu’s body. But then there was a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up.

Tengen was there, frowning, kneeling by his side. “I’m here, Shinazugawa,” he murmured. 

Sanemi must’ve looked like a mess. Tears streaking down his cheeks, blood staining his clothing. Tengen said nothing of it, only sitting next to him and holding his hand. They sat together for what could’ve been minutes or hours. Then Tengen stood silently, looking around.

“We have to bury him,” he said quietly. His voice cut through the silence of the room. He sounded tired. 

Sanemi nodded slowly. He was hesitant to move away.

“I’ll… go and get some of the others. Put him on his bed when you’re ready, okay?” Tengen said, gazing at him one last time before leaving.

Sanemi’s eyes went back to Giyuu’s face. It was slack, but a ghost of a smile still lay upon his lips. He paused then slowly bent down. Sanemi’s lips pressed gently against Giyuu’s cold, plush, blood-stained ones. He moved, dropping Giyuu gently onto the futon. Then he stood, willing his legs to work as he moved to the door Tengen had left from, making his way out of the room and away from the man whom he had thought he would never love again.

×××

« Word count: 2265 »

right so this took weeks to actually get ideas on how to write it, so i delete my progress and try again and finish it in one afternoon? 

i was struggling with how to word the last paragraph btw!! its supposed to imply that he fell back in love with Giyuu but the last sentence was icky 😃