Random Kny One Shots [Requests Closed] Remember | {AkaYuki}

Theme: Angst

Note: Takes place a year after he turned into a demon
Akaza spoilers<33
I think I started this in, like, july 2023 ;-;

and yet I finished in december bc i forgot abt it

wow

Akaza paused. It was darker over here. Hopefully there weren’t any demon slayers hiding around this place; he did not feel like fighting today. Right now. Because today was significant to him. It was exactly a year after.. after something. Something that was big in his life. What was it? He racked his brain for answers, but found none. Perhaps if he sat somewhere calm he would remember. As he walked away from the darker spot, and found a illuminated place in the forest, he heard the sound of rushing water coming from his right. He realized there was a waterfall there and decided to settle there for now. 

It was indeed peaceful, for the night was clear so you could see the stars, and the sound of the water was beautiful as well. It should clear his mind perfectly and he could think. Remember. 

Except.. it didn’t help. It helped his body relax slightly but his mind was still a mess. He kept having flashes of his bloody hands, of red, a lot of red. But.. it shouldn’t have impacted him so much, should it? He was used to killing. He’d already killed so many in the year he’d been a demon. Why was it so scary? 

He sighed heavily and ran his hand through the water. He looked up at the sky, examining the stars. It was beautiful. He remembered vaguely standing with somebody in the light of the moon, telling them something. Comfort, perhaps? What was it? 

Then, with a sudden jolt, he remembered a name. An important name. Koyuki. Who was this ‘Koyuki’? The name was so… familiar… So… so meaningful. Who were they? She… she was a girl he’d lived with? One close to him… A family member? A friend? A… no… his fiancé… They had been engaged, right? About to marry… Who was this other person? He… he looks familiar as well… Keizo… And then all at once. His memories flooded his brain, as if the waterfall was pouring into his head.

Akaza blinked furiously, fighting the urge to cry. Shit, shit, shit, he must not cry here. He couldn’t, even if there wasn’t anyone around. What was with him? What about this was so…

He looked up suddenly, gasping for a reason he didn’t know. He breathed in in sharp intakes, placing a hand on his chest and pressing furiously. 

Breathe. Breathe you fucking idiot.

He looked down at his hand, moving it away from his chest to lay palm-up on his lap. This hand… had done so many things. And someone had held it… held it lovingly despite all the bad things he’d done with it. Who was it?

Koyuki.

The name rung desperately in his head, as if trying to tell him something. Koyuki… a girl who had been set to marry him. Who had loved him enough to marry him. Who was she?

Akaza’s sigh echoed around him and he placed his head in his hands, cradling it. His head hurt too much from thinking, from trying to remember something so far away. 

Think.

Exactly a year ago, Akaza had… turned into a demon? Yes. And that same day, either before or after, something important had happened. With… a girl. The girl. Koyuki. And… the other person. Keizo. Who were they to him? A… fiancé and a father. Okay. That was good.

What else?

Where were they?

Akaza sat in silence for a long moment, letting the rushing sound of the waterfall fill his mind. He closed his eyes, his breath slightly muted by his hands over his face.

He lifted his head after a minute, sudden realization striking him. They were dead. 

His body sagged. Of course they were. Perhaps they were bad? And… had brought Akaza to the point of becoming a demon?

No. No that sounded all wrong. It was wrong.

They were… good. And something happened to them that had brought him to become a demon.

Yes, yes, that was right.

But what was it?

What had made them… die? 

Akaza blinked. Right, they died.

And he had hated that, supposedly. Become a demon to… avenge them?

No, that also sounded wrong. 

Then… what? 

He turned around, his eyes watching the water crash down against the rocks. He slipped his feet into the freezing water, shuddering for a minute before he got used to it.

He smiled to himself, resting his hands on the rocks as he stared into the small pool that the forest had created. 

Koyuki.

He looked around, confused. Had someone spoken? No, that was his head again. 

Remember, Hakuji.

Hakuji? Who the hell was that?

Akaza closed his hands into fists. Who were these people? Why did they matter to him?

I love you, Hakuji.

What? 

I promise to protect you forever, Koyuki. I promise.

Liar. You can’t protect anyone forever. 

But… but why?

I love you.

Who? Who do you love? Why?

You.

Him? Akaza? How? How could he be loved? How could anyone love him after everything he’d done? After he’d brought blood into the Soryu Martial Arts style? The one Keizo had taught him. 

Wait.

Keizo had taught him.

So that’s who he was. 

Akaza stood, slipping out of the water and back onto the ground. 

He started pacing around, thinking things through.

There had been a girl whom had loved him, a man who had taught him to fight, their deaths, the turn of the demon, and… one more. There was one more piece of information he was forgetting. The cause of their deaths.

The blood.

His mind flashed back to the past and he stopped dead in his tracks. Poison. There had been poison involved and Akaza… No, Hakuji, had killed the poisoners. And then… and then Muzan came and… 

Akaza sat back down. 

Fuck. Fuck he couldn’t stop them this time.

Tears poured down his cheeks and he desperately tried—and failed—to stop them, but his mind was caught on Koyuki’s face, her face smiling up at him and saying she loved him. And how he’d said then, how he’d promised to keep her protected forever.

And yet she’d died.

This very day, one year ago.

She had died.

So you remember…

Yes, yes he remembered. He remembered every fucked up thing he’d done.

I love you, Hakuji.

But why?

You’ve helped me so much.

He did. He had helped. When he was human. When he wasn’t a fucking monster.

Thank you.

For?

Akaza felt frustrated and he turned abruptly and smashed some of the rocks surrounding the waterfall, keeping the water in.

It spilled out onto the forest floor and Akaza felt his emotions pour out of him likewise, feeling numb inside but somehow feeling everything at once. 

Why. Why?! He didn’t want to remember! He didn’t want to know!

The memories started fading and the water began to spill out less and less, drawing out to a small trickle of water that would soon stop into nothing. 

Akaza blinked.

Why had he been mad?

He looked down at his clothes, soaked through from the water of the waterfall.

Whatever, he decided. He didn’t need to know. He didn’t want to remember.

{Word count: 1171}

this… was more depressing than I’d intended it to be!! it was originally supposed to end in fluff!

well that idea’s out of the way <33